The long-term educational function of praise for children is: dependence on others. Only when you are recognized by others will you feel valuable. The long-term educational effect of encouragement is: let children become self-reliant and confident, and generate internal drive.
Adler psychology believes that denying reward and punishment education, praise and criticism are only the difference between "using sugar or whipping", and the purpose behind it is "manipulation", while the purpose of education should be to make children "stand on their own feet". In other words, praise, like criticism, is to put yourself in the position of a capable person and evaluate the child's behavior. No matter what the evaluation is, it is to manipulate the other side with a high attitude.
Encouragement is communication based on equal relations, accepting each other's differences, paying attention to equality, respecting each other and coordinating together. Praise and criticism are aimed at results, while encouragement is aimed at behaviors and efforts in the process. For example, "Baby, you are so smart", which is a compliment to children; If you say, "Son, you scored 10 more goals today than yesterday, and did 20 more dribbling exercises, which is very good", it is an encouragement to children. If you always boast that your child is smart, it means telling TA that success is not in your own hands, and you will often be helpless in the face of failure; On the contrary, encouraging children is equivalent to affirming their behaviors and efforts and giving them self-control.
Nelson also mentioned in the book Positive Discipline: "Praise teaches children to rely on the external judgment of others, rather than trusting their own inner wisdom and self-evaluation. Don't praise your child like this:' I'm so proud of you' or' I'll give you an A reward'. Instead, encourage your child: "You must be very proud" or "You study really hard and you deserve this A". Praising and rewarding children often will convince them:' I am only good if others say I am good.' It will also let children try their best to avoid making mistakes instead of learning from them. Instead, encourage children to believe in themselves and their ability to do the right thing.
The long-term educational function of praise for children is: dependence on others. Only when you are recognized by others will you feel valuable. The long-term educational effect of encouragement is: let children become self-reliant and confident, and generate internal drive. This kind of encouraging education also runs through every class of coach Shang Lan, because it is not only a praise strategy, but also a way to cultivate children's growth thinking.