1? "I'm going to kill him!"
Class is society.
Every student reflects the shadow of their family.
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When a student shows bad signs, as a teacher, how should I guide him and save him with what?
Cocoa's experience tells me that only family and love, with the connection of love, can open the child's heart covered with resentment dust.
One night last semester, I corrected the students' composition "The Secret in My Heart" under the lamp.
One line shocked me: "I'm going to kill him!" " Then I'll kill myself! ! ! "
That's terrible!
Let me see the name. It's cocoa.
Coco usually listens carefully in class and gets good grades. He often chats with me after class.
What the hell is going on here?
I know, I met a child with a shadow in his heart.
He longed to be seen and understood, but because of repeated disappointments, he was finally filled with angry children.
2? From anger to sadness
The next day, Coco was late for class and listless.
I slipped him a note: "Coco, can you come to my office after school?" The teacher wants to trouble you with something. "
I believe that he will come.
After school, he came.
Before I could speak, he asked directly, "Teacher, did you read my composition before you asked me to come to you?"
My judgment is correct, and he still trusts me.
He wrote the secret in his composition to let me see it and seek my attention and support.
No matter how many struggles and pains children have experienced, deep down, they will try their best to save themselves.
I said calmly, "You are right. I feel that you are sad and angry. I think you may be in trouble, or you won't be so angry. "
Understanding is the first step of love, and affirmation of this emotion is the "secret weapon" to open the child's heart.
He was silent for a moment, his eyes full of anger, and said:
"Dad said, mom don't want me, as long as my sister.
Mom found another man outside, and I was very angry.
Mom always said that those who love me are lies ... "
I saw him clench his fist and tears in his eyes.
Once again, I deeply felt the sadness and helplessness of the child.
I didn't interrupt him, I just helped him on the shoulder: "So ..."
Coco continued: "Teacher, I hate my mother, and I hate that man even more." I want to go to that man's house with a knife and kill him, and then I will kill myself. "
I asked, "Because that man took your mother away, she doesn't love you?"
Tian Mi said in despair, "She doesn't want me. Does she still love me? "
I'm not in a hurry to reason with him, but continue to look at him affectionately, empathy:
"I can see you are a good boy who loves his mother very much.
You really want your mother to always be by your side and love you.
Teachers will be sad and at a loss when they encounter such a thing. "
He lowered his head and sobbed. The anger in his eyes made Hua Song cry.
3? Reconnect love
Seeing Coco's heart softened, I continued to walk into his heart, trying to arouse his re-understanding and feeling of love.
I said, "Recently, has mom really completely ignored you?"
Coco said, "She called, and my father wouldn't let me answer it."
My heart is shaking: what really hurts the child is not that the mother has started a new relationship, but that the parents regard the child as a bargaining chip for revenge!
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I sighed in my heart: Parents, what have you brought to your children?
After I calmed down, I continued to ask, "But what did Mom say when she called you?"
Coco said, "Mom still misses me."
I said:
"Yes, you are the pride of my mother. How can my mother not love you?
Do you think, how can I let my mother know that you miss her and love her very much? "
I don't want to give advice directly. I want to take love as the hub, so that the affection between Coco and her mother can flow again.
As long as love returns to Coco's heart, all shadows will vanish.
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He looked up and said quietly, "thank you, teacher!" I know how to do it. "
After Tian Mi left, I immediately dialed the telephone of his father and mother respectively.
I told them about their children's inner state now, and suggested that they should respect their children when dealing with adult affairs and avoid hurting each other in front of them.
There are many helpless factors in the end of marriage, but as parents of children, we have no way to resign and have the responsibility to minimize the harm to children.
I also told them that even if they are divorced, as long as they know how to love their children correctly and put their family first, their hearts will be full of warmth and strength.
Cocoa's parents listened and said that they would pay attention to their children's feelings in the future.
Say that finish, Tian Mi with a smile on his face.
Cocoa, who had good learning ability and state, performed well every day.
I have been keeping in touch with his parents. Work together to pay attention to and contact cocoa in your own way.
Cocoa's experience made me feel again: many times, children's problems stem from the lack of love.
Psychological research has long concluded that full love is an important prerequisite to stimulate children's initiative and self-discipline.
Without love, asking children to be active, self-disciplined and healthy is as ridiculous as asking plants to flourish without sunshine and water.
When love reconnects and flows, problems often disappear automatically.
In the process of accompanying dozens of students in the class, I also witnessed the growth of many children from different family backgrounds.
I found a feature:
All warm and loving children in the family often have a good interest in learning and interpersonal relationship. Even children with average grades at the beginning have more stamina later.
All kinds of contradictions in the family, even families who take their children as punching bags or chips, will be affected and depressed even if their grades are good.
Love is a kind of practice and an ability.
As teachers and parents, it is not enough for us to have a heart that loves children, but also to know how to correctly convey love to children's hearts.
Love is a compulsory course for everyone's life. Although I have studied the course of Mind Teacher, I am trying my best to pay attention to and give it to my students.
However, I am also very aware that schools cannot replace parents and give children all the love they need for their physical and mental growth.
I look forward to working with more parents to give their children love with heart and wisdom and minimize the factors that hurt them.
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