Read the first chapter of Positive Discipline written by jane nelsen, and briefly summarize three parenting methods. One is strict (excessive control). Parents have the final say, "You must listen to me" and "Do whatever I say". Children have no choice, rules and no freedom. Children who are often punished either become rebellious or fear obedient.

The second is pampering (unlimited). Parents give their children unlimited choices, freedom but no rules. "Do whatever you want", spoiled children always feel that the world owes them.

The third is positive discipline, kindness and firmness, rules and freedom, and limited choices. "You can choose on the premise of respecting others." Kindness refers to our respect for children, and firmness refers to respecting ourselves and the situation.

So how to be kind and firm? If there is a conflict between adults and children, adults can walk away. Walking away means treating yourself with respect, because you can get things done in a good mood. When the mood calms down, say to the child, I'm sorry you are so angry, son. I respect your feelings, but I can't accept what you just did. Whenever you don't respect me in the future, you will walk away for a while. I love you and want to be with you, so when you can respect me, let me know, and I will be happy to find other ways to deal with your anger with you, and then find a solution that respects you and me. "Of course, there are many good and firm methods and skills, and there are hundreds of ways and skills to respect yourself and your children.

It is mentioned in the book that to be a capable person, you must have seven important senses and skills. 1. Perception of personal ability-I can do it; 2. Perception of my value in important relationships-my contribution is valuable, and everyone really needs me; 3 Perception of my strength and influence in life _ I can influence what happens to me; 4. Strong introspection ability: able to understand personal emotions and use this understanding to achieve self-discipline and self-control; 5. Strong communication skills: Good at cooperating with others and establishing friendship on the basis of communication, cooperation, consultation, sharing, empathy and listening; 6 Strong overall grasping ability: treat all kinds of restrictions and behavioral consequences in daily life with a sense of responsibility, adaptability, flexibility and integrity; 7 strong judgment: use wisdom to evaluate the situation according to appropriate values. These seven skills can only be cultivated through positive discipline and kind and firm education. Being strict and pampered can not effectively cultivate children's sense of responsibility, social sense and various abilities.