At present, there are many extremely disharmonious phenomena in compulsory education in primary and secondary schools, especially the fierce conflict between quality education and exam-oriented education, which has become a headache for experts, embarrassing schools and confusing parents. On the one hand, with the acceleration of knowledge updating and the great changes in economy and culture brought by the information society, the sense of competition has penetrated into the hearts of every member of society, leading to psychological imbalance, turning the burden into expectations prematurely and falling on children, making the burden on students heavier and more bitter; On the other hand, the complexity, arduousness and long-term nature of the educational system reform itself have caused endless voices calling for reducing the burden on primary and secondary school students, and "innovative reform" measures have emerged one after another, but the results are not obvious, and even reducing the burden has become a difficult situation of "coping". As the "mother" of school education and social education, family education bears important functions such as enlightenment, supplement, decompression and adjustment. As the main body of "mother", how can parents change their ideas, improve their methods and face challenges calmly? The author believes that we should focus on solving four problems:

First, we should correctly understand the situation of basic education in China and solve the problem of confidence.

As we all know, American higher education is considered as the best education in the world, but when it comes to American basic education, people have different views. Comparing the basic education in China and the United States, it is generally believed that the basic education in China is to lay a foundation and "learn more and learn less", while the education in the United States is to cultivate creativity and "learn less and learn more". Education in our country pays attention to the accumulation and indoctrination of knowledge, the cultivation of students' respect for knowledge and authority, the mastery and inheritance of knowledge and the construction of knowledge system. In contrast, the United States pays more attention to cultivating students' practical ability to use knowledge, cultivating students' spirit of questioning and criticizing knowledge and authority, and expanding and creating knowledge. Taking mathematics as an example, the educational circles in China have always believed that basic concepts and basic operations are the basis of mathematics, so students are not allowed to use calculators in primary and secondary schools. In the United States, however, basic operations are ignored, and calculators are widely used in primary and secondary schools. Americans think that since calculators are fast and accurate, why bother to calculate? The human brain can completely save itself from things that machines can't do. The "foundation" of education in China means that the brain reserves knowledge as much as possible and extracts knowledge as quickly as possible on the premise of being independent of computers, so the brains of China students have been fully trained in these two aspects. Obviously, American education is superior in utilizing and synthesizing all kinds of external information and expanding brain functions, but China's education is effective in utilizing and developing the internal functions of the brain. In view of this, at present, American educational circles have also begun to emphasize the foundation and are learning from eastern countries. On May 38+01February, 2006, the US Congress passed the education bill submitted by the Bush administration, and allocated 26.5 billion US dollars to strengthen the basic education in the United States, such as standardizing the curriculum, strengthening the examination and strict evaluation, etc., many of which drew lessons from the successful experience of basic education in China. As parents of students, we should see that quality education and exam-oriented education, as the main forms of education, have no irreconcilable contradictions, just like the relationship between planned economy and market economy. China's basic education itself has a good tradition and has trained a large number of outstanding scientists. The root of the disadvantages of exam-oriented education in primary and secondary schools is the restriction of China's social and economic development stage and the bondage of the existing education system. Therefore, we should not doubt our long-term achievements in basic education, but look at the present situation of education dialectically.