William Deresiewicz, who has been immersed in an Ivy League school for 24 years, is qualified to point out the disadvantages of American elite education and the defects of American elite society. He not only reflected on the readers, but also put forward his own ideas-liberal arts education and social class reform.

However, China's "quality education" led by American "elite education" is not like this, and it tends to be "worse". Qian Liqun, a professor in Peking University, once said: The current education system is cultivating a group of "absolute and exquisite egoists". Although for most people, Professor Deresiewicz's proposition is suspicious of "why not eat minced meat", for individuals, what is wrong is not Excellence, but the definitions of "sheep", "Excellence" and "success".

Sheep have three hobbies: pleasing the outside world, attacking the same kind and seeking praise. The more successful you are in these three things, the more you will fail in life. No matter how fast the river is in front of us, we can actually choose not to go with the flow, stop raising our hands and surrender, and live our truest selves instead of trying to live for the evaluation of others.

They are really smart, talented and energetic, but at the same time they are full of anxiety, greed, indifference, cowardice and lack of courage and foresight. They know exactly what they want, but they don't know why they want that.

It seems that they have been very successful, but only they know how empty and anxious they are. They pursue affirmation and admiration and often wander between two extremes: one is to look down on others and the other is to look down on themselves. Their self-confidence largely comes from the affirmation and praise of the outside world. Once exposed to reality, they are extremely fragile and collapse. They choose to be "sheep" because they are unwilling to give up their vested interests and stabilize the status quo; They are afraid of failure, denial and ridicule caused by failure; They don't want to think, they don't want to be responsible for themselves (and can't afford this responsibility). So they fled freedom and choice, blindly followed the crowd (because the law does not blame the public), surrendered to authority and "nature", surrendered their sovereignty, and became obedient people.

But did they really succeed? Are they really happy? I'm not good, but I never want to be that sheep.

"A husband has his own ambition, but he doesn't go to the Tathagata"!

The real Excellence is not: the manic duck of Stanford, pretending to be calm on the surface; Small fish who don't know what water is and what is really important; Giraffes that can only compete savagely are becoming more and more deformed; Sheep who blindly follow the crowd live a second-hand life without inspection all their lives.

True self-confidence is to define success by yourself, not to others; The real success is to have your own life. We should not only think about what kind of person we want to be, but also understand what kind of person we have become. The premise of "I want" is "who am I". Five children (house, seat, ticket, son, car) have nothing to do with "me" in the end. They are just external appearances, which can't prove that you have created a complete inner world, but only the richer the inner world, can you be more calm in the face of real life.

People live twice, but most people only live once. The first physical birth was given by my parents, but the second life was given by myself. The awakening of the soul needs to be cultivated by itself, just as the scarecrow has a brain, the tin man has a heart and the lion has courage.

If a person wants to live a meaningful adult life and have a "free spirit and independent personality", he must become an "orphan";

Growth is self-struggle, the process is cruel, and you can only bear it yourself. Determined to be loyal to your heart, to find and build your true self; Seriously answer: the ultimate question of "how to be born"; And take this as a starting point to carry out self-shaping, self-cultivation, self-education and self-cultivation.

Growth is a direct confrontation with reality. To build a reborn self, we must challenge what has been set and change the fate that has not yet been set. The strength is mutual, and it is the collision between the Asia-Europe plate and the Indian Ocean plate that has created the highest mountain in the world: Mount Everest. Similarly, only by changing some things can people promote their own growth.

Growth is betrayal. You have to betray the original you, the original family, the original friends, the original familiar environment; It takes great spiritual courage to fight side by side with the inner voice alone. "If you want to cross the mountain, why not be afraid of the tide?" Wind and water are just john young. "

Throughout our lives, we all want to get rid of other people's expectations and become ourselves. Similarly, "the goal of all personality training is to change from a dog that must be close to people to a cat that can be appropriately lonely." Life is a tragedy. You can't have everything. Any perfectionism, is in the cocoon, seasoned road. Only by abandoning perfectionism can you get the truth you really want, and don't leave the biggest regret before you die:

"I hope I have the courage to live my own life, instead of living in the shadow of others' expectations and falling into the trap I think I should pursue ..."

? 20 19.02.25