First of all, it is difficult for couples to avoid bickering and quarreling after getting along for a long time. However, we should try to avoid quarreling in front of children. After all, adults should solve their own problems behind closed doors and not adversely affect their children. Generally, quarreling in front of children will have the following three effects.

1, fear

Usually, parents are affectionate and gentle to their children, but once they quarrel, they will change their faces, blush and have a thick neck. This great change can easily scare children and make them feel a strong sense of fear. Children will be afraid of their parents, feel that their parents and their usual way of getting along is different, and will gradually move away from their parents.

2. Insecurity

When children watch their parents quarrel, they will wonder if their parents will be separated and then leave themselves alone, fearing that no one will take care of them, which may be particularly "sticky" and difficult to coax. If parents often quarrel, it will make children feel scared all day, easily leave psychological shadows, or cause extreme insecurity, which will affect their mental health.

3. Psychological stress.

In fact, every child is afraid of hearing his parents quarrel, so he will feel great pressure, but he can't solve it. Children who grow up in this family atmosphere will have obstacles in interpersonal communication, be easily angered and tend to solve problems by violence. Moreover, these children will inherit their parents' quarrelsome bad temper, which is very unfavorable for their future growth.

How to guide children after quarreling in front of them?

1. Explain the quarrel between adults for children.

At this time, I should explain to him: which thing was right when we quarreled just now? What events are wrong? Not the fault of mom and dad. This can prevent people's thoughts and feelings from being mixed in the problem, and the parties can also have the opportunity to sort out the process of the incident from different angles and understand their own situation or problems.

Parents must remember to sincerely explain the reasons for the quarrel to their children and explain their emotional changes in detail. Only in this way can children understand the essence of quarreling and not be frightened by the appearance of quarreling.

2. Help children ease their emotions

Children will feel scared and helpless when they see their parents quarreling. Encourage children to express their feelings when their emotions calm down. For example, did you feel scared when you saw mom and dad quarreling just now, or did mom and dad quarrel just now make you sad? Do you have anything to say? You can simply tell your child the reason for the quarrel. If the child is very young, give him a lot of hugs under the comfort of words.

3, aftermath, to prevent children from following suit.

The most important step after parents quarrel is to tell their children that it is wrong to quarrel. Quarrel is a bad way to vent negative emotions, which not only hurts each other, but also hurts people around. Children who have been in contact for a long time will imitate adults and develop bad ways to vent their emotions.

In short, parents must calm their children's emotions after quarreling, and at the same time let them understand that quarreling is a wrong way to vent.