Whose child doesn't hurt? As grandparents, sons and daughters-in-law try not to interrupt when educating their children. After all, the thinking mode of our generation is very different from that of children. The times are progressing, and scientific parenting is very important! As old people, we should also keep up with the pace of the new era! Be grandparents in the new era. Let go as much as possible, and grandchildren will let their sons and daughters take care of them. This is more conducive to family unity and harmony with daughter-in-law. Also let the children be healthy and upward, and face the future life!
Finally, I wish all grandparents a happy family! Happiness has no end! [Pray] [Pray] [Pray] [Rose] [Rose]
First of all, thank you for inviting me!
"Every generation of relatives" is a very deep, delicate and unspeakable feeling.
Seeing that their children have children, most old people are at a loss, not to mention that their grandchildren want toys, even the stars and the moon. If they can take it off, they are willing to give it! Faced with this situation, as young parents, we should do it.
First, we can't blame the old people.
If we criticize the old people's incorrect way of raising children, or arbitrarily put forward our way of raising children directly, it will be difficult for the old people to accept it at once and their hearts will be broken. Old people love children, too. Young parents should not blame them.
Second, establish a United front for the whole family with the elderly.
Young parents should communicate more with the elderly at home, talk more about educational methods, learn from each other and learn from each other's strengths. Parents and grandparents have the same concept of parenting in a family. Even if the two sides have differences, don't expose them in front of the children. This will only make children feel a little lucky when they make mistakes.
Third, on the issue of educating children, the issue of principle will never compromise.
Even if the elderly intervene, parents should bravely stick to their own views and don't interrupt normal education just because the other person is an old man.
Fourth, distance produces beauty.
Many parents really understand the pain of grandparents' "justifying a fault" behavior, because the baby was under the same roof with her in-laws before she was 2 years old. Many parents also have a deep understanding of the doting of the elderly on their children. Therefore, in order to let children develop an independent personality, it is best to discuss with the elderly and choose to move out and live alone. Of course, it doesn't mean not to look after the children for the elderly. It's just that distance can make children feel that they have no backing after making mistakes and accomplish what they can.
I'm grandma. Let me answer this question.
When disciplining children, what should I do if I always tear down the platform? This problem is very simple, that is, live separately, do not interfere with each other, and be safe.
After all, the elderly have a lot of experience and parenting experience. Why don't they respect their opinions? Think about it. Why did you tear down this table? Some children are put into various classes at birth. Imagine that children can't talk yet. You should teach him to talk, and you should teach him to walk even if you can't walk. It was just a slap in the face. In these matters, the old people will interfere and tear down the platform.
Nowadays, young people raise their children by the book. If children have questions, they will search online. They don't have to ask the old people around them, and they don't have to ask in groups to learn from each other. I am ashamed to say that I have been a doctor for more than 40 years, and my grandson has not helped me raise it. The demolition of the elderly is well-intentioned and should not be blindly refused. Of course, if you want to refuse completely, you can only take care of the children yourself. You can also communicate with the elderly in advance, reach a consensus, and raise children together.
There should be many families in this situation, and my family sometimes has it.
I will explain things to my children. Grandma's tolerance for you means grandma loves you, but it doesn't mean grandma loves you, so you can do such a thing.
Mom loves you by asking you this question. If you do something wrong, mom has the responsibility to correct you. I hope you don't ignore your mistakes just because you have grandma's protection.
Then communicate with the elderly in private. First affirm the old man's love for the child, and then explain to her that in the process of your discipline, I hope she'd better not participate. If there is anything wrong with your teaching, let the old man tell you afterwards, and then you can deal with it. Otherwise, two adult teaching methods will appear together, and children will not know which one to listen to, so education will not play a role.
Then grandma will appear involuntarily when you discipline your children severely in the future. She loves her grandchildren or thinks you taught her wrong. You need to appease the old man many times. Of course, everyone's way of doing things and personality are different, and what I said is not necessarily correct, for reference only [yi tooth]
As the saying goes, "every generation of parents". Grandparents and grandparents love their grandchildren as much as their parents. Therefore, when parents discipline their children, the elders feel distressed, and "intervention" is common and reasonable.
This problem is not difficult to solve. First of all, young parents should always communicate with their elders and reach a consensus on the education and management of their children. In this way, when you criticize the education of children, the elders will stand on your side and think that they should be disciplined and will not interfere. Secondly, make a "three chapters of the contract" with the elders in advance. When criticizing and educating children, please ask them not to be "good people" in any case, otherwise the effect of criticizing and educating children will be greatly reduced. Third, when disciplining children, please ask the elders to avoid them.
Educating and managing children is a science as well as an art. Parents are children's first teachers, and they have great responsibilities in educating and managing children. Young parents should strengthen their study, constantly improve their own quality, discipline their children scientifically and reasonably, and never spoil their children when they are proud, and always take it out on them when they are frustrated. This will not only make the elders look down on it, but also make the children at a loss, which will have a great negative impact on their growth.
1. Take the children to an independent space alone during education to avoid the elderly.
2. Living apart, I always think that living apart is a performance of being responsible for both the elderly and the children, except when the elderly can't take care of themselves.
3. Seeing the old man's initial intention is to hurt children and human nature. You can listen to some educational audio and video, deliberately play it louder and subtly. You can also communicate well with the elderly.
There are many ways, and the one that suits your family is the most important. Try more and ponder more. Learn to use humor to resolve the intervention of the elderly.
But one thing, a harmonious and warm family atmosphere is the most conducive to children's growth, so it is putting the cart before the horse to argue with adults at home about children's education.
It is not surprising that parents are easily disturbed and destroyed by the elderly when disciplining their children. According to the tradition of the Chinese nation, the feelings between the old people are closer than the flowing water. It is often easy for them to spoil their children regardless of the bottom line by caring for their children without reservation. This situation is not conducive to the healthy growth of children's body and mind. Of course, there is no selfishness in this situation. It is a kind act of unprincipled love for the younger generation. Parents of children should be tolerant.
If you want to avoid or reduce this situation, you can kindly explain to the elderly in the absence of your children and explain the necessity of strict requirements for your children. There is no need to expect the elderly to fully understand or agree, so as to achieve the goal by communicating with the elderly.
The best way is to pay attention to the choice of time, place and environment when it is necessary to discipline children, reduce external interference and take care of their self-esteem. A better way is to avoid disciplining children in front of old people. In front of the elderly, if necessary, children should be kindly and patiently guided and persuaded. It is the most unwise to discipline children severely in front of the elderly and should be avoided intentionally.
It is understandable that old people love their grandchildren. But it is up to parents to discipline their children. Communicate well with the elderly and don't let the children feel protected. Otherwise, education is not good.
Explain to the elderly the importance of disciplining children. Old people who are not sensible use children to discipline them.
It is common for old people to like their grandchildren, but it is difficult to educate them if they are loved by their peers. I hope you don't intervene temporarily when you tell them about education!