I graduated for four years. But suddenly, I feel like I'm still that teenager.
20 15 September, that hot summer, many students stepped into the campus one after another, and I was one of them. Perhaps the afterglow of the holiday has not passed, or perhaps the mood of reunion of long-lost old friends has not subsided, just as we are talking about our ideas in the classroom. A notice from the school made our fiery hearts calm down instantly.
We still have one year before graduation season, so we are obviously arranged by the school. Because the new campus was not completely renovated and the school enrollment exceeded the standard, we were arranged to go out for internship in advance.
Everything was so unprepared, like a dream, I walked into the campus with great expectation, and in a blink of an eye, I was confused and helpless. Watching one classmate after another pack their bags and go to other places makes the originally lively campus full of sadness of parting. I know, so we stepped into the society unprepared. Looking at the empty dormitory, the small room full of laughter has become a mess. I know that if I go there, I may never come back.
Because it is an independent internship, everyone goes their separate ways.
I was obsessed at that time, but for some reason I wanted to go to Beijing.
Perhaps it is the prosperity seen on TV, or the story of Beijing in the mouth of friends, which has become a yearning for Beijing. In this way, I said goodbye to my friends, kept my family secret, and took the 2000 yuan living expenses given by my family and secretly went to Beijing by train.
When I got on the bus at night, I felt very sleepy and curled up by the window to sleep. When I woke up, there was a light outside the window. Looking at the time, I will arrive at the place I miss very much in a few hours, and the tension and excitement will follow.
I took the train all night, and it was already seven or eight o'clock the next morning when I arrived. When I got out of the station, I looked back at the three characters of Beijing Station and was very excited. Beijing, I finally came.
Looking at the bustling crowd and endless tall buildings, I always feel that I am out of place with everything around me. I've been standing in the same place for a long time, but I don't know which direction I'm going, because my eyes are confused except for the crowds coming and going at the station and the hawkers selling on the overpass.
The excitement faded away, and the reality woke me up like a pot of cold water. Only then did I realize that everything was out of place with what I thought. And life is not that simple. I thought that when I arrived, I could find a job, have a chance and live. I thought, in the final analysis, I thought, I thought life was simple, but I ignored the simplest appearance of life, which was actually eating, drinking and living.
The sun in Beijing seems particularly hot. I was carrying a suitcase heavier than myself, sweating like a pig. I wandered back and forth for two hours, but I didn't know where to go.
At that time, I, like a brainless teenager full of blood, rushed to a strange city without any worries and preparations. I didn't know until I arrived that life was not as beautiful as I imagined. The life and future I longed for have always been in my dream. The realistic way is to go by yourself.
At that time, I was a little white who had just entered the society. I don't know anything, I don't know where to find a house, and I don't know where to find a job. Over time, I reluctantly spent 120 yuan and found a small hotel around the station for one night. I know this is not the way to go on. With the living expenses I brought, I can't last for a few days at all.
Fortunately, I met a brother who was also drifting from Tieba North, and we discussed looking for a job together. Then I went to his house for a few days. When I came to Beijing at that time, I didn't tell anyone except a few friends, I didn't contact my friends in Beijing, and I didn't see my brother. Looking back now, fortunately, I didn't meet bad guys and liars at that time. Otherwise, it may be another ending now. However, I still want to thank this stranger who once helped me.
On the way to find him, I checked the route and got on the bus. When you hear the prompt on the bus, please swipe your card when you get on the bus and swipe your card when you get off the bus. Because I didn't have a bus card, I put the paper money in. Then I heard the prompt to swipe my card when I got off the bus, and I was a little confused. For me who have no social experience at all, I am a little scared, because I don't know if I need to coin again when I get off the bus. Afraid of being accused of evading tickets, but embarrassed to ask others.
When I arrived at the station, I got off with a nervous heart. I was relieved to see that no one was chasing my coin. When I changed at the bus station, I got up the courage to ask my aunt, who was also waiting for the bus, before I realized how stupid my idea was.
When I first started looking for a job, I posted my personal information on the recruitment website. Because there is no diploma, I still can't go to some ideal jobs. But even so, people call me every day. But it's basically customer service and sales.
Later, I started looking in the street with that brother. When I saw a job advertisement posted at the door of a shop, I went in for consultation. I turned around and couldn't find a suitable job. Only then can we understand the hardships of society and life.
I remember one night, my friend called me and asked me how I was doing in Beijing. After I told him my experience in Beijing, I began to comfort me. At that time, I didn't have anyone to talk to and help me. His phone call was like the last straw that overwhelmed the camel, which made me burst into tears. Holding back her tears, she said yes. My friend said, if you can't hold on, you will come back. I seem to have no backbone. After two days, I couldn't hold on and returned to Weifang.
When I left, I looked back at the city where I sat on the overpass for several hours and slept in the internet cafe for the middle of the night. I can't bear to eat instant noodles, a little. I ended my first drifting north with regret.
After returning to Weifang, I spent several hundred dollars and rented a small house. When it comes to houses, they are actually cabins. In this way, I had my first home.
When I start looking for a job, I always run into a wall, because I don't have a skill, I always can't find a job I like, and because I haven't changed from a student to a society, there are always some people who are ambitious.
I have been unable to find a stable job, so I started a part-time job. Handing out leaflets, standing on the street, marching in doll clothes, beating time ... basically everything.
It was also at that time that I got my first salary and part-time salary. Although it is only a few tens of dollars, it is my first income.
Later, when I was looking for a job with my friends, I saw that Internet cafes were recruiting people. Because I also like playing games, I started my network management career again. I just didn't expect that my first job after graduation turned out to be network management.
It was also at that time that I completed the transformation from a white niche to a bearded uncle.
On the eve of graduation, I received a phone call from a friend inviting me to Beijing for training, discussed it with my family, and set foot on a trip to Beijing for the second time.
I heard from friends that the testing industry is very popular, with good development prospects and high wages. And I also think it's time to find a real job, so I took part in this training.
When I came to Beijing this time, my best friend from university met me at the station. I still remember the joke we played in college, saying that the first thing we did when we arrived in Beijing was to visit Grandpa Mao in Tiananmen Square.
After taking me to put down my luggage, I took the subway to Tiananmen Square. Only then did I know that Beijing is so big that it takes two or three hours for a city to take the subway.
Because someone didn't bring an ID card, we didn't salute Grandpa Mao at last. We strolled around Tiananmen Square, and then went to Gu Xiang-South Building. After a stroll, I took the subway for two hours and returned to my place of residence.
In the evening, I found a small shop, ate rice, drank wine and talked about my future life. It was a group of young people who had just left school, yearning and longing for life. At that time, it also made me feel that the wine we couldn't finish from school could still be drunk in society.
After a full meal, everyone played games all night. Perhaps the greatest respect for him when he first arrived in a place is to enjoy life on the first day.
After life is on the right track, everyone should go to work, and those who should find a job should find a job. I also entered the training class.
When the training needs to pay tuition fees, everyone is taking out loans, and teachers also encourage loans, and loans are used to study, and they will be paid back slowly after graduation. When I called my dad to explain the situation, my dad said a sentence that I still remember deeply.
We don't need a loan for the money you spend on your study. Then he called me all the money. My dad said, study hard, no matter how poor the family is, it will support you to study.
Unfortunately, I didn't study hard in the end. I failed my father's love and support.
Because I smoke, I made some friends who smoked during our training. For me, who is about to graduate, their age seems a little old. But no matter how old I am, I will be sad, have dreams and have the same hobbies. Maybe this is the only reason why I came to Beijing. The smoke has burned out, but the dream continues.
When we are about to graduate from training, we smokers are as naughty as the bad boys in our class. Because we have finished all the courses, we can't stand our restless heart any longer. So I skipped class collectively and drove to Qinhuangdao and Yanjiao. See mountains and water. Then lead the leaders of training institutions to give us a separate meeting and talk. Might be a mind reader. You can choose. You can graduate early or continue your training.
Our mind is no longer on training, so we chose to graduate early. Fortunately, after the training, the university also issued a diploma and announced that I graduated. After so many years of school life, it is still sad to think about it now, because I know that the school will never go back.
After graduation, I began to be busy submitting resumes and interviewing. Every day, I am either on my way to the interview or on my way back from the interview.
Because I have no social experience, I am always nervous during the interview. I was very anxious to hear that those smokers got high salaries one after another.
In the next few days, I have been busy submitting my resume, looking for a job and interviewing. About a few days later, on the way to a friend's birthday, I received the first offer in my life. As the first formal job search, I finally received an offer, which can be imagined.
But life is impermanent. Two days before I was about to join the company, I received a phone call from a liar. After answering the phone, I said hello politely, and then called out my name accurately on the phone. Before I asked him who he was, he told me to go to his office tomorrow. I asked him who he was, and he said he was my interviewer. He asked me if I didn't know who he was. Then go ahead, talk to me tomorrow and get to know the situation.
I thought it was a pre-job interview, and without much thought, I hung up. Then I listened to the so-called leader stupidly and went to the company the next day.
When I got to the company, he called me and wouldn't let me go upstairs. He said he was in a meeting with the leader and asked me to wait for him downstairs for a while. Although it's a little strange why I should wait for him downstairs, I still didn't find any problems.
I just know that when I was cheated, he called me again and asked me to transfer money to him. He said that entertaining the leaders would cost money and he couldn't leave. He also said that he needed to buy something, how much money should I transfer to him and give it to me later.
From the moment he asked for money, I knew I was cheated. In fact, now that I think about it, it was really stupid. The liar's words are full of loopholes, but I just believed them. Maybe life is like this, and it will always teach you something on your way forward. But I also sincerely hope that everyone will behave well and don't do those fraudulent acts, because you don't know how much harm some of your deceptive acts will bring to others.
Later, I called this company to ask, and they said they didn't know. I think my information has been leaked. After the query was fruitless, I refused the offer of this company, because I thought an IT company could still disclose the information of its employees, so this company was definitely unreliable. I'm really stupid and naive. I later learned that being cheated has nothing to do with the company, but that the liar got my information from the recruitment website and then used your psychology to cheat.
The first proposal fell through. Then I started the cycle of submitting resumes and interviewing.
After stumbling, I finally found a job near my home.
A company outsourced to Unicom, at that time we basically didn't have our own office and workstation. We gather at the door with our computers on our backs every day, and then queue up to enter Unicom Building. See the leader to arrange the station after entering.
Later, the office space was requisitioned, and rows of tables were placed in the lobby on the first floor of the building to work for us. Sometimes when the sun is strong, you can't keep your eyes open.
Under such circumstances, I resigned after working for less than three months.
After leaving my job, my life was boring. After another month's delay, I finally found a fairly good job.
After working for nearly a month, the company turned to a very biased position. It took me an hour and a half to drive, nearly three hours.
At that time, I had to take three subways to go to work, and it took me half an hour to get off the subway. If I am lucky enough to like cycling, I also need to ride for fifteen minutes. It takes about six hours to commute, but I only worked for eight hours.
I remember the first day after the company moved, after work, I walked to find the subway station. Because I am a stranger, I can't find it after walking for half an hour according to the navigation, and I am lost. After a long struggle, I finally found the subway station
It never rains but it pours. There is no money in the subway card. Because the recharge can only be made in cash, and I have no cash with me, I can only go to the bank, but I have searched everywhere and found no ATM. After returning to the subway, I was at a loss, as if the whole world had abandoned me.
After all, my family is going back, so I began to stop strangers at the subway entrance and ask if there is any cash. I asked several people in a row, and they all shook their heads and waved to me. Just when I was about to despair, a kind-hearted little sister appeared and exchanged cash with her through WeChat to let me go home. It was already ten o'clock when I got home.
In such a tight time, I spent about a year. Gradually, I got used to taking the subway for three or four hours and getting used to going out early and returning late. Life is hard, but we have to go on.
I remember one year a fire broke out in an apartment in Beijing. At that time, I was very strict about the apartment in Beijing. Because the apartment I lived in was unqualified, I received a notice to move out.
Time always pushes you forward. After I was really out of breath, I left my job again.
Began to be busy looking for a house and moving.
After leaving my job, I was very idle for a while. Every day, I soaked in the computer and played games until late at night. When I woke up during the day, it was already noon or afternoon. My friend said to me after learning that, do you know how terrible it is to have no job for a month in Beijing? Yes, in this high-consumption first-tier city, it is really difficult to survive without a job.
When I was sad, I received a phone call from a high school classmate. He is coming to Beijing. Knowing that he was coming, I tidied up my small room with only a dozen square meters and made room for him. So he has a place to stay in Beijing.
I haven't seen my old friend for a long time, so I'm naturally overjoyed. At the same time, I also decided that I want to find a job closer to him.
After numerous interviews and discussions, we finalized a house sales company.
After working for a period of time, because my friend arranged a job at home, I decided to go home and develop. After he left, I went with him.
After he came home, I looked at the empty room and suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. In fact, I've always been very lonely. I come to work, eat and chat with you alone. When he left, all he left was darkness and loneliness.
In fact, he is not the only one who left. Those friends who came to Beijing to work together also returned to their hometown. I sent one after another and finally left myself. Just like on the campus of a university, I watched my classmates leave.
There is no banquet that never ends, and friends around you will have their own lives and choices. So I'm on my own.
I also wanted to leave Beijing, but I didn't expect this day to come so soon.
As I didn't have a job, my friend called me. He asked me if I was still looking for a job and recommended me to work in their company. I thought about it and thought about it, but I still left this place where I stayed for nearly three years and left Beijing, which I yearned for.
I have lived here for nearly two years now, but I can't forget the days when I drifted north.
Life has no poetry and distance, but you have to face the sun yourself.
May you be treated gently by the world.
May you walk out of the rest of your life and return to youth.