In fact, before I started reading, I took it for granted that positive discipline was to encourage education, but after reading the contents of the book carefully, I found that my understanding was too superficial. The three lines of scarlet letter in the center of the cover, "How to effectively discipline children without punishment or connivance", caught my eye at once, because it asked the voices of countless parents and teachers. Although I have only taught for a year and a half, as a class teacher, I have to get along with students every day. When students make mistakes, how to deal with them effectively is often a problem that bothers me. If the punishment is too strict, it will inevitably have a negative impact on students' physical and mental health; If there is no punishment, or the punishment is not effective, students will think that the teacher is conniving at the students who have made mistakes. This book puts forward "positive discipline", a method that neither punishes nor condones. Can it really be used to discipline children in the class? With a hint of incomprehension and doubt, I followed the author on a journey of formal dharma.
First, win children with kindness and firmness.
First of all, what impressed me was the author's "kindness and firmness go hand in hand" and "winning children". Children are social people, and they are developing and changing all the time. They have their own thoughts and beliefs and need to realize their own values. The way to treat children can't be simply summed up as criticism and reward. On the basis of forming a good sense of self-worth, we should cultivate children's self-awareness and recognition and trust in teachers and parents. What we have to do is not "win" children, but "win" children and get their willing cooperation. Otherwise, children will learn to judge whether their actions are right or wrong by observing others' reactions, and lose the ability of self-evaluation and introspection, thus gradually being trained by teachers and parents as "people who always seek others' approval".
According to Kohlberg's theory of moral development, such students are still at a low level of moral development, that is to say, whether children think a person's behavior is correct at this stage mainly depends on whether he is loved by others, whether he is helpful to others, and whether he is praised by others. However, the students we want to train should have their own moral standards and know how to do it. The author tells us that it is not difficult to win the cooperation of students. Only four steps are needed: show understanding for the child's feelings, show sympathy for the child, tell the child how you feel, and let the child pay attention to solving the problem.
However, when dealing with students' problems, the mistake we often make is impatience, especially when facing those children who are extremely rebellious and have very bad attitudes, we often fly into a rage, but we still believe that we are right and feel that it is all the students' fault. After some criticism, it is ok to solve the problem, but I am afraid that students' self-defense will be more extreme and make minor problems out of control. In fact, when we ask students to control their emotions, they should learn to control their emotions.
The "active pause" mentioned in the book is similar to the "cold treatment" we often say. In order to win the recognition and support of students, we must first calm down and solve any problems calmly. Students who make mistakes need to "pause" to think calmly about what they have done wrong, and teachers also need time to put themselves in their shoes and understand the purpose or motivation of students' behavior. Severe reprimand may solve some problems quickly, but it respects students and is ineffective in the long run. Of course, in order to make full use of the value of "pause", we must also abide by the four guiding principles listed in the book and cultivate students. Tell your child to use the "cooling-off time" to get better, and then solve the problem on the basis of mutual respect. Never turn a positive "pause" into a negative anger.
Second, guide the children who make mistakes with inspiration.
Nowadays, most children are obedient in front of teachers and want to be good students, but when they make mistakes, they often can't face them calmly. In the eyes of most people, making mistakes is a disgraceful thing, and teachers and parents often pay more attention to punishment than solving problems. In order to avoid punishment and maintain a good image, students who have made mistakes should behave well in a short time to make up for their mistakes and gain recognition again. However, this performance is only temporary. Over time, you may "forget the pain" and continue to make the same mistake. However, what we hope to see is that students can face up to their mistakes and do better when they encounter similar problems in the future. However, first of all, we should learn to regard mistakes as an exciting learning opportunity. Let children realize that after making mistakes, what they get is not their own self-blame and the teacher's reprimand, but their own gains from the mistakes.
In the book, the author provides us with an effective way to guide the children who make mistakes with enlightening questions. The primary purpose of enlightening questions is to make teachers and parents stop telling their children the answers. When children's thoughts or behaviors are inappropriate, help them analyze what to do next, let them learn to analyze and summarize by themselves, and finally choose the best solution with them. The advantage of this method is that it can reduce children's negative emotions, realize their mistakes from the bottom of their hearts, and be more convinced of the solution. The author also thinks that the application of heuristic questions in class meetings is also very effective. As a class teacher, if every class meeting is held by oneself, then the enthusiasm of students will definitely be reduced, and the sense of autonomy will not be developed as it should be. In the long run, it will also have a certain impact on students' thinking ability and creativity in class. The significance of the class meeting is to teach students how to solve confused problems. Asking students what to do can attract their attention more than telling them how to do it. When students realize the benefits of calm thinking, their self-worth will increase accordingly.
For our teachers, positive discipline will neither humiliate students nor humiliate teachers. Based on mutual respect and cooperation, it teaches children to learn to understand and tolerate others and be responsible for their words and deeds. Such a good way of education is indeed worthy of our bold attempt in our usual education and teaching work.
Positive discipline after reading model essay 2. I've heard how good the book Positive Discipline is. It's jane nelsen's classic that benefits millions of children, parents and teachers for life. I borrowed it from the school library with great expectation and was attracted at once. Read it through and really benefit a lot. It's really a good book!
When I closed the book, the words "kind and firm" were deeply left in my mind and impressed me deeply. The book says: "Teach children valuable social skills and life skills in kindness and firmness." "Many parents regard kindness and firmness as either-or words." "Kindness can offset the rebellion, resistance and self-esteem contusion caused by being too firm. Firmness can offset the self-esteem contusion caused by doting, manipulating parents, spoiling children and being too kind. " In fact, to put it simply, "kindness" means expressing our respect for children, so that we can "win" children, give them dignity and get their willing cooperation, while "firmness" means respecting ourselves, respecting the needs of the situation at that time, reducing the harm caused by "winning" children and letting them learn self-discipline. Arbitrary ways usually lack mercy, while arrogant ways lack mercy. Kindness and firmness are the foundation of positive discipline.
Although I have been teaching for four years, I still have no more self-views on how to educate children better. Looking back at yourself, when educating children, many practices are far from positive discipline.
Three children in our class promised to give each of them an exercise book because they did well in the class. However, before the book was delivered to the three children, I found that the exercise book on the desk was torn in half. I was angry and asked who did it, but no one admitted it. Finally, someone said the boy's name, and I asked the boy to admit it. I am angry and want to call his father. That boy. Sniff, this silent "protest" made me stand there. The class teacher told me that such children must inform their parents. This is not the first time. The boy is always making trouble and doesn't listen carefully in class. But watching the child's face turn red because of crying for a long time made me feel very sad, but I didn't know what to do. This child is undoubtedly a lively child, but how to discipline such a child?
I remembered a sentence in Positive Discipline: The child who hates most is often the child who needs love most. Later, I paid attention to this boy intentionally or unintentionally, and found that he was sometimes very active in class and enthusiastic about his classmates. Suddenly I feel that I always pay attention to his poor performance, criticize him, and even make the whole class laugh at him. What a hurtful thing it is! Maybe I can spend more time with him, get to know him better and care about him more in the future. In this way, you can have unexpected gains? So in future classes, I asked him to play a major role in some English dialogue activities and give him more opportunities to show himself. Of course, the premise is that he must abide by the classroom discipline, try his best to learn the dialogue in the classroom activities, and integrate into the role play. Perhaps this respect has given him unprecedented confidence and courage. In future classes, he always tries to do every task I assign, and the content of each class is always memorized. His change made me feel refreshed, and also made me understand that only in a kind and firm atmosphere can children cultivate self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation spirit and problem-solving ability, learn social skills and life skills that will benefit them for life, and achieve better results!
Educating children requires patience, wisdom, patience and respect. We can't be angry at the children's mistakes. It is very important to find a solution to the problem and find out the reason for the mistake. When educating children who make mistakes, we should have the principle that mistakes must be corrected, and we should not indulge them, otherwise many a mickle makes a mickle, and mistakes will be added.
On the road of teaching in the future, I will be myself first, treat what happened with a calm mind, respect each other with children, and put myself in the other's shoes from the child's point of view. Then my relationship with the children will be full of love and happiness, which will urge me to go on the road of teaching gently and firmly.
The time of positive discipline after reading model essay 3 flies in the book, and the book Positive Discipline is slowly unfolding with the slow heat of summer.
One sentence in the book left a deep impression on me: the children who hate most are often the children who need love most. When I saw this sentence, my first thought was X in our class. He is a particularly unsociable child. He never sits up straight in class. He often lies on his desk and rotates his chair 360 degrees. I like to interrupt, never walk in the team, fall behind the class, never hand in my homework on time, and never write corrections according to the teacher's requirements ... I have told him the truth countless times, and I often leave him alone for educational criticism after class, but more than half of the semester has passed, and my critical education seems to have no effect on him. Every time I educated him, I kept my head down, but I often sang a one-man show, and it was the same later. Because I don't think he is a stupid boy, I decided to spend more time on him and try to get to know him better.
I remembered this sentence in positive discipline, and suddenly realized that the behavior of this child, which made me so headache, is not a manifestation of lack of love? I decided to comfort him with love. So I added a phrase written on a lovely post-it note to every assignment. The letter highlights how much I like him in my heart and my handwriting is getting better and better. Today is better than yesterday. Tell him that he is the first child I noticed in class. I think he is excellent and sunny. I believe my eyes. This has never changed! After a while, I obviously felt his change. At least I listen to the Chinese class more carefully than before. Later, I paid more attention to him. Once, he caught a cold, but he still brought cold water, so I poured him a cup of boiled water and asked him one day if he was much better. And when I found out that he has a very bad habit-he likes to play with the angry bird eraser in class and sometimes disturbs other students. After thinking for a long time, I asked him to come to my office with all his erasers. When he hesitated, I exchanged two brand-new study erasers with him, and engraved a reminder on the eraser I gave him ... Finally, all my efforts were rewarded. Compared with the beginning, he has made great progress. He is more serious in class than before, and of course his grades have improved by leaps and bounds. He got an "excellent" in the final exam.
In the section "Arranging Special Time" in the book "Positive Discipline", it is said that "just spending a few minutes as a special time for children after school can help children feel encouraged enough to stop their bad behavior, although there is no mention of bad behavior during this time." I am deeply touched by this. There is a child in our class, who is easily distracted in class and does not study steadily. He often makes a mess of his papers and does poorly in his exams. Because her parents do business, she is often late to pick up her children. She often does her own thing in the classroom alone. Once, I happened to find that he was not a student on duty. He is trying to clean the blackboard and clear the lecture table. I was very moved and praised him greatly. I also agreed with her that if my mother was late again, I could stay with her in the classroom for a while. There will be ten minutes of "special time" between him and me. The child is very excited, as if he had a little secret with me. Actually, that's what I did. At first, he was very formal when chatting with me, and later he became more and more open under my guidance. She is very willing to share her life with me, and even told me that the reason why she was in a bad state some time ago was that her parents always quarreled ... Of course, under the action of "special time", she made great progress, not only academically, but also psychologically!
In addition, the book also tells us to encourage children often. Seriously, sometimes we find it difficult to encourage, especially as a class teacher. Usually because of impatience, we are used to responding to children's bad behavior in a negative way. Criticism can urge children to improve their behavior, and few people think deeply about the influence of criticism. Most people think that the best way to help a child is to criticize what he did wrong so that he won't do it again. This book tells us to encourage. The author of Positive Discipline has always stressed that although punishment can temporarily stop bad behavior, it cannot permanently solve the problem. Only by encouraging children to experience a sense of belonging and value can we achieve long-term accumulation. This can work for all the students in the class.
After reading the book Positive Discipline, I benefited a lot and learned many practical methods. In the days to come, I will try to apply these methods to the usual education and teaching and the work of the class teacher, so as to really benefit the students.
When I read Positive Discipline, I couldn't help thinking of the first student I took in my first year of work. At that time, I just came out of school and entered the school, and my identity was changing. Although I have studied management knowledge in school before, participated in on-the-job training and heard the experience of many experts, I am still very uneasy. Although raw, but very enterprising to learn.
I remember that at the beginning of freshman training, as a class teacher, I asked each student to prepare a self-introduction in advance, with unlimited content, and invited the student "photographer" to record the moments and words of each student in junior high school and high school. After graduation in three years, everyone will get together in 10. I want to show you that young and energetic you, and then look back, what kind of mood are you in? Do you have any regrets? Will you regret it?
I remember that I attend a class meeting once a week, especially the first class meeting-the formulation of the class meeting convention. In fact, it is not an open democracy. I drew up a few yes and no, and asked the students if they agreed or not, so that everyone could reach a consensus. Although it's like going through the motions, we sincerely solicit students' opinions, and every student will feel involved in class management, which is also in line with some theories mentioned in this book. In the usual class meeting, I will let the students comment on the events in the class for a week at will, let the students take out the good and the bad to bask in the sun, and let them have self-discipline consciousness, but they still don't comment. I still can't help but comment on everything I say, because the purpose is too clear, that is, to continue doing good things and criticize and stop bad things.
I remember those days, I enjoyed chatting with students, study, classmates and parents to keep abreast of students' ideological trends. When I find something wrong, I will take the initiative to contact my parents by phone, sometimes a phone call lasts more than half an hour. . . .
Later, I don't know when the class meeting is getting shorter and shorter. I don't ask students to organize class meetings, but to summarize the statements and mainly point out the bad places in the class. More time is spent on math classes and exercises.
I am getting angry more and more easily. When I'm angry, the whole class scolds me, and I'm even more angry when I watch them all keep their heads down and don't talk or express their opinions. In this book, I compared my own leadership style, and I think my essence belongs to the eagle leadership style-I like the feeling that everything is under control. Sometimes it's super organized, sometimes it's super sloppy-I used to call this kind of personality emotional, dragging things with good wishes. I like to do things by myself, and assigning things makes me feel uneasy. What should I do if I can't do it well and can't achieve the effect? I imagine myself as a "superman", and then wherever there is a real superman, I often feel a lot of pressure, and everything is out of my control. Sometimes I am particularly silent and retreat into my protective shell, and sometimes I attack others sharply and violently, becoming a screaming and attacking beast. Perhaps it is this impermanence that makes students unable to understand the teacher's situation and are not sure when they will step on the thunder. Slowly, the relationship is alienated. . .
After learning positive discipline, I also have a lot of reflections on my previous and present teaching behavior and the way parents educate their students. I think, first of all, I can only change myself, and then use my changes to influence the way parents and other teachers educate their children.
Positive discipline after reading, I have heard of positive discipline for a long time, but I have never read it. This semester's grade group * * * lived up to expectations and ushered in this book which was highly praised by countless parents and teachers. When I got it, I read the preface first It turned out that the author was actually the mother of 7 children and the grandmother of 29 children. It was really a surprise. I accidentally read a sentence in the book: there are always several children, which can make the second-grade teacher want to retire early, and the fourth-grade teacher wants to take the summer vacation quickly. After seeing it, I couldn't help laughing and laughing. I really want to see what methods can be used to "discipline" such children in books.
When I get a new book, I am used to reading the catalogue first. I was suddenly attracted by the "importance of birth order" in the third chapter, let alone anything else. The book says that the oldest child and the youngest child in the family have certain similarities in personality. The boss is responsible, independent, aggressive, conservative and so on. Because bosses are the first-born children, they often mistakenly think that they must be the first or the best to be important. The smallest and most obvious feature is pampering. Many youngest children are not only loved by their parents, but also by their brothers and sisters, which makes them easily mistakenly think that they must constantly manipulate others to serve themselves to show their importance, and they are often good at using their charm to inspire others to do things for themselves. By contrast, the youngest child may find it difficult to adapt to school life. An only child may be like the oldest or the youngest.
In our present society, most children are only children. With the liberalization of the second child policy, more and more families have two children. Therefore, our students will basically show the psychological characteristics of the eldest or the third. Judging from the students in the class I teach now, when they first entered school last year, some children showed poor sense of responsibility and rules, and they were slow to adapt to primary school life. Even one or two children can't do what the school rules require, which is very self-centered. After reading what is written in the book and recalling the family situation of these children, it is true that the child is the youngest in the family, or that the parents are very spoiled.
It is also mentioned in the book that the birth order of teachers will also affect individual teaching styles. Teachers who are bosses usually like to be responsible. I prefer order and order. I like to see the students sit neatly and do as they say. As an only child, I am inclined to the psychological characteristics of the boss. Seeing this, I think I really need this book. I hope I can learn wisdom and strength from the positive discipline methods introduced in this book, and strive to keep students orderly through mutual respect and understanding, and never become an authoritative teacher.
After reading model essay 6, because there is a baby at home who is difficult to toss in adolescence, the first thing that attracted me was "Positive Discipline for Teenagers". Later, I bought Zheng Ji Bao, but I never read it. With the help of the reading club, I added it to the book list in April. When I read it, I felt deeply, and every sentence made sense, paragraph by paragraph. Each chapter has some positive discipline tools, and finally there are questions to help me review.
I don't have much time to study, and I don't read fast. I've always wanted to write down something particularly helpful in my notebook. However, I am afraid it will affect the speed. I just read in cycles and answer every question at the end of each chapter carefully. This result seems to have made me gain a lot. After reading this book, I feel glad and even have a strong interest in the positive discipline of the lecturer.
This book is rich in content, but it has been forgotten for a long time, only remembering its core-kindness and firmness. Many tools and practices in the book are suitable for writing down and memorizing, and you can pick them up whenever you want to use them. So, I turned over the book again, wrote down the parts that were helpful to me, and then recited them. Why do you want to recite it? In the past six months, I have read a lot of parenting books intermittently. I always feel that the book is really good and I understand a lot of truth, but I will still use "crawling the brain" to solve the problem when I really encounter the situation. Especially in the face of his son's situation, the first reaction is always "how can you be like this?" What should you do? ",lack of emotional ability, blame more, into a power struggle, and forget to cultivate children's seven kinds of perception, to help children get a sense of belonging and value. I want to win children, not them, and when my son who is in the stage of personality formation refuses to admit defeat, I will have a strong sense of frustration and even give up. Therefore, if you want to break the inherent thinking mode, it is too important to practice repeatedly!
There is a saying in the book that if you feel pain in the process of disciplining children, then your method must be wrong. I hope I can make unremitting efforts to find a suitable way to establish a good relationship with my son.