Even if a woman is a mother, the important core is to have her own life. Mothers not only have to do daily chores for their children, but also can't unload their own strength, just turn around their children. Our lives are independent. She wants to grow, and I want to grow, and that's how it should be.
In those years, I finished the novel "Spring Banquet", the collection of essays "Sleeping in the Empty" and "Interview with the Beauty of Ancient Books". I want her to see a mother who is always working faithfully, a mother who is learning and growing up, a mother who is traveling and exploring, and a mother who cares about the secrets of individuals and the world and expresses them in words. So when she grows up, she will know what is really important in a person's life. I only hope that she can play happily and freely, be curious about the world, explore and advance in her own way. She took ballet lessons and finished the first stage. Sometimes she is tired on her way home and falls asleep in the car. Ask her for advice. She said she had too many classes and wanted to have a rest. There are English classes and art classes after class. So respecting her choice did not go to the second stage. Sometimes she goes home, reads picture books, draws pictures, does manual work, forgets to do math and pinyin homework, and is not in a hurry.
What is there to worry about? Children always have to grow up at their own inner pace. Nothing is more important than protecting nature, keeping cheerful and energetic. Let her always feel happy and grow up according to her imagination and nature. Happiness and self-esteem are important. As for the rest, I will know one day. Moreover, what she knows now has gone beyond some standardized answers.
If there is a girl of five or six years old at home, then they are all angels sent by God. They bring too much happiness. Now it seems that this statement is not exaggerated at all. They are so gentle, cheerful, strong and enthusiastic. Sometimes it is a child who needs to be taken care of and guided, and sometimes it is a mirror that brings inspiration and sentiment to adults. The breeze and fragrance brought by a little girl are completely different from the muddy and rigid adult world. Therefore, I have a feeling of gratitude to her.
Every Sunday morning, I go to Sanlitun's coffee shop for brunch. At that time, she was as free as a literary youth with her black hair and fashionable dress. She painted, I read, and spent two or three hours quietly together. This is called a special moment in children's psychology, and these concepts were unknown before. I just think such a period is necessary, and these relationships will become her memory.
Children will not be indoctrinated, but they will like to be stuffed.
The little girl is very sensible at ordinary times, and she has a big temper today, which lasted for half an hour. Observe her and let her vent her accumulated emotions. Then ask, why did you lose your temper? Can you tell me? She said, I don't think it's enough. Q, what's not satisfactory? She said, unhappy, not free, no time to play. I haven't seen the children in the yard for a long time and miss them very much. Then I cried sincerely. The primary school she attended did have some rigorous and harsh traditional styles, which were somewhat different from the international kindergarten she attended as a child.
I went through some unpleasant homework with her. Thought about whether to let nature take its course or be strict. When she takes a nap, look at her face, just like when she was born, small and bright, so complete. It's up to her. If she is fragile or confused, she only gives support and accommodation, and does not make reluctant demands or restrictions. No matter what the situation, let her feel complete and fair. If she has a choice, try to show her respect. Walk slowly.
She has two good habits now. First, she spent a long time in bed reading books before going to bed, which were various and rich in content. I started reading novels and poems. Second, I love painting. Spend a lot of time in front of the drawing board almost completely spontaneously. Draw whenever you have time. With these two hobbies, I feel at ease even if I don't like serious homework so much.
We can't live against our nature. Just like some flowers follow the sun, some flowers only love to bloom in the moonlight. Accept yourself and let nature take its course. I like to create and play. I've been working alone for a long time, talking about the whimsy of adults. Humorous speech, unconstrained style, not very interested in homework. I am mentally prepared. I can take a side walk. As long as she feels happy and can bear it, she can not participate in the mainstream game rules.
We can't live against our nature. Just like some flowers follow the sun, some flowers only love to bloom in the moonlight. Accept yourself and let nature take its course. I like to create and play. I've been working alone for a long time, talking about the whimsy of adults. Humorous speech, unconstrained style, not very interested in homework. I am mentally prepared. I can take a side walk. As long as she feels happy and can bear it, she can not participate in the mainstream game rules. In the future, you can do art, do public welfare, or be cynical. Some so-called people with higher education have bad mentality and personality. I met an apprentice when I saw Chinese medicine. He only attended private schools in primary school. At the age of thirteen, he gave up his studies and began to study Chinese medicine. When I was a child, I often followed my mother to the temple. The boy's eyes are clean, quiet and pure, and his thoughts are clear. He is not vulgar at all. His mother is brave. But he should also have his own wisdom.
As for her, she is an artistic person. Mom said, you are too loose with her. Have you never learned from her? But there is no way to force her to do anything except correct her character. Personality, she is simple and kind, which is not worrying.
According to the report, people feel simple, rich in heart and self-reliant. As long as they are happy. It doesn't make much sense for some girls to care about luxury goods and rich people or to be elite white-collar workers in the workplace. Grow freely like flowers and plants, take a willing road, and don't distort yourself with social utilitarian values. That's good.
People should learn wisdom, not knowledge and concepts. Therefore, spend more time with people who exude wisdom and temperament, and spend more time with quiet and practical people. Or go to a place with a clean atmosphere. These guides are very important for children. Wisdom is taught through existence, enlightenment, divergence and absorption.
Who can feel and understand Suzhou when he is young? To them, it is just an ancient city with a garden. It takes experience to get to the essence. It drifts in time, like a stranded ship. I can understand that Suzhou is a recent year. I like Suzhou better than Hangzhou. Gardens, ancient trees, old things, chess, calligraphy and painting, alleys, food. Gentle and degenerate.
She first came here when she was seven. Staying in a hotel in an alley, only tricycles can enter the narrow alley. Pushing open the gate, the gardens and mansions are open and deep. Eight rooms, attention to detail. There are Buddhist scriptures, music, roses and chocolates in the room. The high beam in the old house is dim, but she likes it. Without guests, the courtyard is deep, as if it were just the two of us. She enjoys this loneliness and doesn't want to go out or see the scenery. She plays, draws and sleeps in the room. You will definitely bring brushes, picture books and books you need to read when traveling.
She bought a pair of white gymnastics shoes and a pair of silver bracelets for the little girl. Never take it off or throw it away. The little girl is wearing a silver bracelet, which is auspicious and cool, and looks good at any time.
Sometimes there are naive ideas, I hope you grow up slowly and don't enter the troubled adult world too early. Can live in an innocent and free heart for a long time. Know that this is unlikely. Your back is like a little girl. Time is too fast for you to grow, which is an unnecessary emotion. I can only live seriously and live up to your coming to me. Thank you for the reflection of crystal life. I hope you will fly away in the future and realize your own value. I will take care of you and let you exist in the universe for a while. May you know how to love yourself and others because you are loved. So I get more love.
"If you plant a tree, it won't grow well, and you won't blame it. You will observe the reason why it doesn't grow well. It may need fertilizer, more water or less sunlight. You will never blame the tree, but you will blame your children. If we know how to take care of him, he will grow like a tree. It's no use blaming. Try to understand. If you understand and show that you understand, you can love and the situation will change. " Let the child go ahead, you might as well follow him. If he really needs it, go and give him a hand. Most of the time, let him live his life and you live yours.
From their birth, even if they need someone to take care of them, they should be regarded as independent lives equally. Follow a child, observe him and let him go. Don't give up on him, ignore him. This kind of proper limit needs the ability of a sober adult. It is impossible to really understand and support children without the good growth of self-mind. Children naturally learn how to feel the world quietly and consciously around a quiet and conscious family. The necessary letting go and indifference is a kind of cleverness.
If parents don't know how to handle emotions, they won't properly handle their children's emotions. If parents don't know how to really get along with themselves, they won't know how to really get along with their children. Therefore, it is impossible to teach children how to really get along with themselves.
There are questions about crying children, why some adults are used to ignoring them when they need help. In fact, they may just need sleep, water, milk or a hug. Those parents reprimanded, ignored, or fooled, but did not give truthful observation and satisfaction.
Rumor: Children grow up watching their father's back. Adults are role models for children, and it is very important to teach by example. Like the first light and shadow reflected from a transparent heart. If the light is red, children think the world is red. When the light is blue, children think the world is blue. If there is something wrong with these perceptions, it will take them a long time to change their perceptions, which will be very hard. It is an effective mode to give them gentle and clean light and guide them with their backs. What is important is to show the true state of independence and freedom, not to show overly utilitarian values, but only to show life itself.
Children are the treasures left to us by God. Raising children is God's behavior just like ours. "Parents can feel that in the process of parenting, there are many things that human beings cannot grasp. If we think like this-not to mention that children are given by God, but children are God's things and our * * * things, will parents' mentality become more tolerant, softer and more natural? "
For young children, if they haven't reached this age, they should often take them and their parents out to travel. Experience the rush of traffic, the tossing of hotels, the changing scenery along the way and the various developments along the way. When he sees his parents' contact with the outside world and others, he will learn to communicate realistically. At this time, parents should pay more attention to their words and deeds, be polite to service personnel, deal with problems simply and seriously, and be sympathetic and empathetic to others. Children will also silently absorb all this. At the same time, children need to learn how to appreciate the scenery and how to explain cultural traditions.
In short, not finding fault with others, forgiving others' mistakes and trusting others' consciousness will not only make adults and children have fun, but also make our children's future lives more open.
It is also important to learn to wait. In contrast, how many training courses and skills children have learned are all backward rankings. Old people pay attention to "Tao", not "technique". He recalled the idiom that he often used when he was young, "cultivate one's morality and help the family." At that time, there was a "self-cultivation" course, which emphasized the individual's responsibility and obligation to society. With the invasion of western culture and the development of the Japanese era, such idioms have become "dead words" and lost their practical significance. Under the influence of society, children pay more attention to the concept of freedom or equality, and lose their understanding of responsibilities and obligations.
"Parents should regard their children as a godsend ... As children grow up, they should accept the simplest principles of being human, especially to cultivate their ability to understand things thoroughly. Children are required to have a clear attitude towards everything. In this way, children will do everything seriously, even if it is very hard, they will not think of giving up halfway. It is to overcome difficulties, look forward and be strong-willed. "
People need to follow their own nature and become their true selves.
Her love of reading is reassuring. Books will take her around the world and tell her what she can't get in life.
People should be more exposed to refined and purified thinking and expression, the essence of art, because it is difficult to provide this kind of concentrated nutrition in daily life and reality, so it can not bring effective improvement.
She was very stressed and came up to me with tears and said, mom, the pressure is getting bigger and bigger now. Of course, a few days ago, she was delighted to tell me that the Chinese teacher praised her for a long time in class and thought that her writing and reading had far exceeded the level of her peers. For some partial subjects, the left and right brain thinking is unbalanced, and I came over like this when I was a child. So just comfort her and do your best. I have no special requirements for you.
I almost never check her homework, but at most I look at her report card at the end of the term. She has been studying independently, and needs to establish her own management learning consciousness, and she is also making continuous progress. At the same time, I care about her skin, body, emotions, feelings and thoughts, and provide her with inspiration and help in art and travel. As a mother, I also like the role of friends.
The life she wants to choose, let her be free.
Her artistic experience brought her deep satisfaction.
She painted a lot. I think it is very good for people to explore their own souls in an artistic way, provided that they are free, spontaneous and free from pollution. Painting, writing, playing the piano, dancing and singing are all the same. Can be used to develop nature. Need to protect her innate energy.
People need to follow their own nature and become their true selves. Seeds germinate and grow according to the internal rhythm and order. Independence is very important to her.
She is used to writing, drawing, doing homework, doing handicrafts in the room, and sometimes singing happily, contentedly and quietly. This is also the normal state in travel. We have been to many places and stayed in different hotels. I cherish the time when I can travel with her. We have been traveling together since she was born three months ago.
Discuss movies.
Me: Do you think there is higher intelligent life in the universe?
She: There must be.
Me: In the movie, his father went to look for it. He waited for Neptune for 27 years, and no higher life visited him. I told you, there is nothing. It is empty.
She: That's the wrong way of human beings. The human level is too low to search. Higher life will not appear before them. Technology is definitely not good. Maybe you often use meditation and shamanism, but it is possible to meet these higher life.
In the process of her growth, we still maintained a highly transparent contact.
I realized that some of my actions were correct. Accompany her through adolescence as a friend. Give her peace, enough inner peace and freedom. More understanding and tolerance. But at the same time, I also have requirements for her.
I don't give her cell phones and pocket money, and I never let her watch TV. Besides homework, you don't need to spend too much time on technology products. If she can get enough fun from reading, handicrafts, music, writing, painting and tranquility, her attention will not be focused on impetuous things that affect her mind. Therefore, when most of her peers have mobile phones and pocket money, she still doesn't.
It is not easy for any child to grow up. She is gradually entering a rebellious period, and she is a little girl in a transitional stage. I can feel the powerful energy waiting to be released in her body. But I know how to keep my distance from her, how to get out in time and look on coldly. Sometimes how to accept, comfort and empathize. I think it is a responsibility to help children grow up healthily, so that she can benefit herself and others. Instead of expecting her and possessing her.
Taking care of and helping a young daughter, just like treating an elderly mother, is a responsibility. People are always responsible.
When the Buddha became a monk, perhaps he knew that all emotional entanglements and responsibilities were just bondage and reincarnation. In the relationship between people, deep love is not only persistence and dependence, but sympathy. That is, think of each other and do your duty. All relationships are like this.
At the seaside, she can play quietly for a long time. I sat on a nearby rock. We seldom talk and usually have a good time. Look at her, relaxed and happy, silence is golden.