The connotation of "three obedience and four virtues" does not mean to belittle the oppression of women.
This article is excerpted from Random Talk of the Former University.
Ok, let's talk about the woman problem in the "Kongjiadian" that we used to overthrow! During the May 4th Movement, when the women's movement heard that women wanted "three obedience" and "four virtues", they shouted down, blindly blaming "Kongjiadian". In fact, this is all because of the records in the Book of Rites and the Book of Rites. Moreover, the connotations of "three obedience" and "four virtues" do not mean to despise or oppress women at all. What's wrong with the so-called "follow your father at home, follow your husband when you get married, and follow your husband when you die"? Just think about changing the word "from" into a popular legal term and becoming "burden" or "responsibility". That's a real respect for women! Before a woman gets married, her parents should be responsible for her life and growth. What's the matter? After marriage, as a husband, a man should bear all the living expenses of his wife and be responsible for her safety. What's wrong with that? Unless it's the other way around, men live on their wives, right? When the husband dies, of course, the wife's own parents are old, and they don't rely on their children to take care of them. What should I do?
Of course! From now on, you can rely on the social welfare run by the government, but being a man or a good son and daughter and giving your parents' feelings and responsibilities to the society is a bit of a meaning! Especially in the relationship between parents and children, I am afraid it is not a taste! It is good to fight for the welfare of the elderly for others and the public. If it's just for yourself, it's not the original intention of "democracy", but something of personal freedom (selfishness)! Maybe I'm wrong again! However, if we think from the ancient historical society, education was not universal three thousand years ago, especially for women. And basically, ancient times were an ancient agricultural economic society that relied entirely on manpower, and women did not have the ability to make a living freely and independently. Then, who should listen to if you don't listen to your father at home? Marriage, of course, is to take a long-term meal ticket, what should I do if I don't take my husband? As for the husband's obedience to his son, the fact is obvious, so I won't say much. However, we should also know that when the husband dies and the son is young, we still have to be "mothers and fathers" to raise the children. Imagine who is who? If you only interpret the word "cong" as "obedience" or "blind obedience", it means that you, a China native, have not understood the meaning of Chinese characters, and you need to go back to Confucius to learn more!
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Speaking of the "four virtues" of "female virtue, female speech, female appearance and female merit", this is the educational goal of cultivating female personality and character, which is suitable for both women and men. If there is something wrong with a person's moral character, no matter whether he is a man or a woman, he is definitely unpopular. Rude words, or unfriendly words, or inappropriate words, etc. , that is, most people say that there is no verbal virtue, of course not. As for "women's looks", don't misunderstand that it is a beauty contest. Classical Chinese is simple, and its so-called "capacity" means that the usual "capacity" is neat, so don't pretend to be coquettish and make fun of people. In the past, in some books, the word "work" was pronounced as "red", especially embroidery, or the skill of cutting clothes and fine weaving. Especially in the rural society, which used to be dominated by agricultural economy, this is more important for enriching the family economy. I think one of the "four virtues" of ancient women is more important to women in modern and future society. To put it simply, more than 20 years ago, I had a friend's daughter who graduated from college and married an overseas Chinese youth. Before going abroad, they said goodbye to me on the orders of their parents. I told my friend's daughter that the first and most important thing for you to go abroad is to study. I'm not asking you to study for a doctorate or a master's degree. I want you to learn a skill to earn a living independently, such as accounting for ordinary women. Because now, especially in the future, the marriage system is going bankrupt, and love is not worthy of bread and rice. Therefore, modern women must learn a specialty of making a living independently from an early age, so as to ensure the relationship between husband and wife. This is the importance of "women's work". The young lady did as I said, but she didn't meet her expectations, as expected.
In the ancient society where the agricultural economy dominated, although the government did not explicitly stipulate it, the education of young men and women, especially "women's work", has long been a natural behavior in naturally formed customs. To make a long story short, as long as we quote Tian Jia, a poem by Fan Chengda, a poet in the Southern Song Dynasty, we can present a true picture of rural social education in the south of the Yangtze River. This poem says:
Tilling during the day, numb at night,
The children in the village are responsible for their own affairs.
Children and grandchildren have not been liberated to engage in farming and textile,
And learn to grow melons in the shade of mulberry trees.
Another example is Zeng Guofan, a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty. He became such a big official, but there are strict rules on how much linen (raw materials for making cloth), how much cloth to weave, or how to make soles for his wife every day. The rest of the examples are too numerous to mention, so I won't say much.