After staying at a friend's house for nearly an hour, CC kept jumping and making noise. I asked my grandmother if the children had studied. Grandma said that she stayed in kindergarten for a few days, because she couldn't sit still because of ADHD, and she was persuaded to leave, which made the whole family dumbfounded.
In the meantime, my grandparents will constantly scare disobedient CC with hangers. I noticed that the clothes rack was placed in different corners, and the clothes rack had changed shape. I smiled and said that the clothes hangers were broken. Grandparents say it's broken, which is much better.
I don't know if the ADHD of CC has been diagnosed, but I can see that the problem is really serious.
Last year, I once met a student with ADHD. A major feature of ADHD children is that they can't concentrate and can't sit still. Every time I am in class, he always makes noise. When I write on the blackboard and look back, I often find him running to the toilet or hiding in a corner outside. Later, I had to arrange for the teacher to tutor the children alone.
According to our teacher, the student is still quiet in class and can remember words. But as soon as the child came out of the classroom, he couldn't remember anything, which led the parents to find me and said that the child had learned nothing here. After I patiently communicated with my parents about the efforts made by the school, my parents finally admitted that the child had ADHD and was still taking medicine.
I remember when my child first came to our side, my mother told me that we were counting on the teacher because I was impatient.
I also remembered a sentence said by a psychology teacher: ADHD children are caused by their mothers' impatience.
CC's parents are not around, and this "mother" is an anxious grandparents. The student mentioned above also has an impatient mother.
My sister YY is three and a half years old now. Here are a few things that I want to discuss with you if you encounter such a situation.
When YY was less than two years old, my grandmother "complained" several times in front of me in a very serious tone, saying that YY was shameless and took off her pants to pee in public in the square.
Well, after listening to it, I think my sister is really good. Before she was two years old, she would take off her pants and pee by herself. Other children are still wetting their pants.
What we adults have to do is to guide our children, saying that it is not good to take off your pants and pee in public, and patiently guide them several times. That was not the case. After YY, all the shit problems will be solved in the toilet.
Looking at the problem from another angle, you will get different results. Children under two years old, you tell her ugly and shameful, does she understand? If you know, teach her "eight honors and eight disgraces". Anyway, I think it is more rational for such a young child to pee in a corner of the square by himself than for adults to let the child pee directly in the subway!
YY likes painting. Now she has four different brushes, such as crayons and colored lead, which she regards as treasures.
Once, I took YY back to my hometown. Considering that dilapidated houses are basically uninhabitable, I suggest painting on mottled walls. YY is very happy. Although this is a simple line, she will attach meaning. For example, this is Dad, this is Mom and this is Sister.
My mother came back to see the education and told me what to do when I went home and scribbled on the wall. In fact, before YY was allowed to draw on the wall, I told her that I couldn't draw when I got home. She was fine and kept the agreement.
But CC wasn't so lucky that night. He wanted to get a pen, so his grandparents took it away for fear that he would scribble on the wall.
My cousin always painted on the wall when she was a child. Now she is a sophomore, and the cartoons are very beautiful.
If we are afraid of the child doodling on the wall, we will deprive him of the pen he created. Are we right? At least we can give him a piece of paper.
I went to the supermarket a few days ago, YY took another box of soft-grinding and hard-foaming brushes. In the next few days, wherever she went, she took a brush with her, put it on the bed every night, and entered the dream with her.
I took YY to the hospital to visit my family that day. There is a little sister of similar age in the bed next door. We asked YY to brush her teeth with that little sister. We saw two children kneeling on the ground and drawing together. My mother said, YY, you have so many brushes, just send one to your sister. (Mom said it several times)
Finally, YY said to her sister, I'm going home, you give me my pen back.
I still want to praise YY. I protect and cherish such a rare good brush. You can play, but you have to return it (implication: I will play for you).
Some adults say YY doesn't know how to share and be selfish. I want to ask: Why do people hand over their beloved toys? If you share your husband/wife with others for one night, don't you dare say so: I'll play for you.
God knows it is not easy for people to get a toy. Anyway, every time YY wants to buy a toy, I have to "educate" her, but in the end she stops next to the toy and lets you walk dozens of meters away, and finally she has to go back and buy it for her. Look, it's not easy for people to go through all this.
There was an article on the Internet, which probably said that Xiong Haizi, a relative, wanted toys, but his relatives finally took his children's toys away. I think these two things still have something in common.
Tolerance is a good quality, but I don't want such a young child to learn this tolerance. She has the right to protect her toys, and she also has the right to say no to others' infringement of toys.
The night before yesterday, I took YY out for a walk and passed a pile of sand. YY immediately took off her shoes and went to play. Then I watch her play and occasionally dig a hole with her. We also dug up shit. YY was very excited to see the shit and laughed, indicating that this is no ordinary shit. She is the shit that can make children happy!
Occasionally, adults pass by with their children. First, a child stops to play. Then another child wants to play, and his grandfather scolds him for being too dirty, and his mother will scold him when he comes home. I think the child should have taken a bath. The child refused to listen and insisted on playing. After playing for a few minutes, my grandfather took me away and said it was time to go home and take a shower.
Finally, YY was the only one playing, during which I tried to ask her several times if she wanted to go for a walk again. She said, I want to play again.
Just play. I'm right next to leg press. She played alone for nearly an hour.
For us adults, this is a pile of sand, but for children, this is a fairy tale world. Why deprive others of their world?
Now children play with sand, and I think it's just like playing house when I was a child. If your mother calls you home and you watch other friends play, will you gnash your teeth?
Children born after 8090 believe that everyone has a wonderful childhood. There may be no toys in childhood, but there are all kinds of games.
One of my friend's children is now in the first grade, and my friend cultivated the child's independence when his son was very young. Now his son comes home from school every day and attends several training courses by himself. Occasionally, when his parents are not at home, he cooks eggs and noodles himself (this is better than me) and plays the piano very well. He really feels that he is a very independent and smart child, and maybe he will be excellent when he grows up.
But can we say that this kind of education is necessarily good?
When my son was more than 5 years old, he went to Chimelong to play together. His friend walked very fast, and his son struggled to follow. As far as I know, my friends seldom hug children. Maybe he will be an excellent talent, but when he becomes a father himself, will he be a kind and patient father, or will he be more strict with his children?
When I was about six years old, my grandmother and I went to herd cattle. I counted from one to ten, and grandma praised everyone for saying that I was definitely a piece of reading material in the future (in fact, my grades were really good). At that time, the cognition was that counting before entering school was very powerful.
YY is in her early thirties. She can recognize poker and speak A/J/Q/K in English. Can we say that the child is very good? No, maybe other people's children can already play and sing, especially those parents who love face!
Damn face!
Times are changing, educational concepts need to keep pace with the times, and parents need to keep learning.
My sister YY is over three and a half years old now. I hope she has a wonderful childhood. I hope she will be a knowledgeable, capable and interesting girl in the future!
I also hope to be a constant learning and patient watcher in the future, not a manipulator!
A large part of the work we do requires certificates.
If you want to be a teacher, you need to obtain a teacher qualification certificate;
If you want to drive on the road, you need to take a driver's license;
If you want to be a counselor, you need to take a counselor's certificate.
However, we became parents without any preparation, let alone training and learning. Even if we are just children, how can we know how to educate our children? A bite of rice can make a child grow taller. This bite of rice is not only a real meal, but also love, patience, tolerance and understanding. ......
Yu mentioned in a speech: "It is difficult for us to find a child who can come out of a broad-minded family, and it is also difficult for us to find an elegant and pure child in a vulgar family."
A thousand readers have a thousand small villages, and a thousand families will produce a thousand different children.
If you want your child to love traveling, take him around and experience cars, trains, high-speed trains or planes;
If you want your child to love reading, take him to the book city, at least pretend that you love reading at home;
If you want your children to love sports, then you can't be a big fat man;
If you want your child to be the king of gambling, please take your child with you when playing cards and mahjong.
Children are the mapping of parents, and children's problems are ultimately parents' problems.
If you don't have time to take care of your children, don't blame your grandparents for not taking care of them;
If your child has a lot of smelly problems, first check whether you have so many problems.
postscript
I talked about CC with a friend who works in a juvenile detention center and is a senior psychological counselor. He said half jokingly, maybe later, he will come to me.
Later, I heard from him that the problem was still serious.
I asked CC what to do, and he said:
Then let him move and guide patiently.
In a word, parents need to keep learning and educating, but some people will never study patiently.
When I remembered leaving that day, CC shouted to me: Mom, Mom.