Can we make up after breaking up? The "teacher" promised to help him save his love in just one month, and also sent a bunch of video courses to improve and change himself. He decided to give it a try
From 2065438 to July 2008, an emotional counseling studio in Hangzhou provided psychological counseling services such as breakup and emotional repair. (@ vision china Map)
"When did you break up?"
"What did you say when you broke up?"
"Have you been in touch recently?"
Gao Gang broke up with his girlfriend for half a month. During this period, he always searched online for "breaking up and making up" and "breaking up and saving". Every time I can see someone talking about his experience in finding an emotional recovery institution.
He left a message at the bottom of the video, "quite accurate." Less than half an hour later, he received a private letter, "Have you had any emotional problems recently?" Next is a question and answer, talked for nearly an hour, the other side comforted a few words from time to time, and Gao was relieved. He feels that his situation is actually very ordinary and there is a way to solve it.
Gao Hao has just graduated, and he can't leave his girlfriend when he is not at work. After breaking up, he felt that his life was extremely empty and he was eager to make up immediately.
At the end of May, he paid 12900 yuan in an emotional counseling agency called "Hundred Boat Education", which is only half of the total amount. The other party promised to save his girlfriend who quarreled and broke up with him as long as one month. There will be a third party involved this month, and some psychological intervention can be done. Gao Hao thinks he can have a try. When he paid the money, he still had concerns, saying that he would pay part of it first and then make up the balance when there was progress.
However, just a few days after the payment, on the evening of June 3, Gao could not contact the "teacher" of this institution. At first, he was worried about whether there was a problem in the negotiation between the organization and his girlfriend. "What did you say to her?" He has been sending messages in a WeChat group, and no one has responded.
The next day, all the contact numbers of the organization were turned off and the circle of friends was no longer updated. He remembers that in a recent conversation, the "teacher" comforted him and said, "Don't worry, calm down first."
To his dismay, the sales, analysts and consultants of this institution were taken away by the Shanghai police. On June 2, Shanghai police went to Shandong to crack a new type of "emotional redemption" fraud case, arrested 69 suspects and seized more than 80 mobile phones/kloc-0. Initially verified that the company involved more than 500 cases in all parts of the country, involving more than 7 million yuan.
Gao ended up with "both money and people", as he described himself. With the money gone, my girlfriend can't come back.
Break up and be cheated
On the afternoon of June 2, when the police came to the19th floor of an office building, the employees of the "Hundred Weeks Education" emotional counseling agency were busy. Sales and analysts are listening to the emotional situation on the other end of the phone, and they will comfort each other. This matter is easy to solve.
The arrival of the police immediately alarmed some old employees, and several new employees were still scratching their heads and had to follow them. Gao's class teacher "Teacher" also sent a circle of friends that morning, and several soups of chicken soup were accompanied by a sunny landscape.
Gao first contacted the "teacher" through social platforms. In a video, a woman in a formal suit summed up the three major situations of breaking up. The second point refers to "communication barriers between the two sides", and he feels similar to his own situation.
Soon, the "teacher" will introduce an analyst to work out a one-on-one method according to his situation, during which he will be asked about his occupation, income, work place, family situation, etc ... Finally, a set meal will be launched, with the price ranging from 2000 yuan to 10000 yuan. The teacher recommended the intermediate package to Gao, and said that his situation was somewhat complicated. After all, it has been half a month.
The price of that set meal is 5800 yuan, which is equivalent to half a month's salary. He thought for a while and instilled a set of logic in himself: "This money is for his girlfriend", which is worthwhile.
Gao can contact five "teachers". After the payment, the sales will drag him into a WeChat group named "Name+Break-up Date+Purpose". Usually only one senior tutor speaks in the group. Gao usually chats with the "teacher" after work in the evening. The night before, he also asked about the progress of third-party intervention. The "teacher" is somewhat evasive, saying that he will be informed as soon as there is progress. The "teacher" also sent many video courses, asking him to improve and change himself now.
Looking back now, Gao Hao feels that he told all the information to a stranger. He believes that after searching aimlessly for a way out for half a month, someone suddenly gave him a little hope and let him see the possibility of getting back together with his ex-girlfriend. He must try.
Gu Yue and Gao reported to the same college, and a week later, she went back on her word. The courses registered in Gu Yue are the lowest. Every time the "teacher" replies, she throws a lot of links for her to read, or several books on psychology such as nonviolent communication, and several course videos with the theme of "real case explanation", which repeatedly emphasizes that women should know how to deal with emotions and not "do".
At first, Gu Yue felt that the "teacher" of this institution was perfunctory in the guidance process. She saw someone posting on the Internet complaining about this "emotional institution". Most of their situations are similar, and some courses are the same. Gu Yue asked the organization to refund the money, but according to the contract they signed, "neither party may unilaterally terminate this contract. If Party A terminates this contract without reason, which constitutes a breach of contract, Party B will not refund the consulting service fee to Party A. The organization "teacher" said that this is her first breach of contract and they have no obligation to refund.
In fact, the "100-week education" they signed up for has long been complained on the Internet. They all claimed that the "teacher" did not deliver the service after paying the money. But most people stop complaining. Gao didn't want to call the police. He felt very embarrassed. "Breaking up is not a good thing, so he was cheated. It' s embarrassing to say it. "
The routine of "emotional recovery"
"Professional focus, save love" and "be a strong shield for your love". On social platforms, some "emotional rescue" organizations will lay a lot of sweet and happy advertisements, professionals will teach you how to cultivate intimate relationships, talk with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and emotional courses offered by emotional experts.
It is hard for people who are emotionally confused not to be attracted by these contents. These institutions will tell lovelorn people how to save their feelings, and the conversation with lovelorn people is full of routines.
Sales are usually waiting behind the computer, and someone comes to you on their own initiative. The other person usually comments, may agree, or may say that he wants to learn these things. Directly asking for contact information means that he wants to get back together with the other half, which is more direct. Anxious people will directly click on the home page to take the initiative to consult.
"According to your situation, there must be some feelings. You must stick to it, or don't spend money. " The sales of the "Hundred Weeks Education" emotional counseling agency did not make him spend too much money. Instead, it advised him not to spend money indiscriminately and made him feel reliable.
September 8, 20 19, the event site of "Aixing Rescue Plan" in Shanghai World Expo Park. (ICphoto)
At first, Di Jiang from Sichuan wanted to find an organization to analyze her situation. She told many friends about her, but no one gave her good advice. On the first day of breaking up, my friend advised Di Jiang to close the door. She thinks this behavior is too radical. When she saw someone sharing their experience of looking for an organization to save their feelings in the little red book, she also wanted to try.
Di Jiang compared more than 50 emotional counseling institutions before and after. As an insurance salesman, she is instinctively wary of marketing. In the first month of breaking up, as long as I open my eyes during the day, Di Jiang will think of emotional things. She kept chatting with the organization and finally made a summary by herself.
She divides institutions into three categories: individuals, studios and institutional companies. There are generally more than 20 institutional companies, and some lovelorns always feel that big companies are reliable. These companies can be roughly divided into two categories from the sales attitude: those who start selling courses, or those who listen carefully to each other's emotional dynamics first. "If after the chat, he definitely tells you that it can be saved, it is usually a scam, at least it is a lie." Di Jiang suggested that if you choose a studio, you must identify each other's qualifications and make more comparisons. "But most individuals are difficult to define. It really depends on the eyes."
When I first found an emotional counseling agency, Di Jiang was cheated of nearly 20,000 yuan. At that time, she didn't understand that the other party's words were all routines. "Understand your mood. When you want a good result, you love him very much. This is a kind of motivation. " "I firmly believe that in this process, you will know him better and know yourself better."
"Everyone is like catching a boat ashore. As long as they buy tickets, they can reach the other side of happiness. Maybe they don't know what happened at that time and are willing to try anything. " Di Jiang said that before paying the money, she didn't realize that she needed to see the qualification certificate of the other party, so she signed the contract without saying anything.
The price lists of some "emotional recovery" institutions are also unclear. They will recommend it according to the income of the inquirer. People who come to consult are rarely guarded, and all personal information, including constellation, birthday and address, will be provided to sales. Di Jiang bought a junior set meal, 4800 yuan, and transferred it that night.
Then there is a new round of routines. Some "teachers" will let people write letters of apology to the other half, as well as introspection letters, teaching people to analyze their own shortcomings from aspects such as personality and life; Secondly, the most common thing is to "attend classes, study and improve yourself". There will be links to various courses in a packaged file, such as emotional self-control called "transforming the mind" Di Jiang's "teachers" require that they hand in their learning experience at 8 o'clock every night, and they must punch in every day, otherwise they will be criticized for "spending money unhappily", Di Jiang concluded later.
Every time I learn about a specific emotional problem, the "teacher" will say, "I feel that your problem is more complicated, and it is best to ask a third party to intervene." That is, they have to bypass each other to reach the other half. Gaohe paid the second fee and the price doubled.
Di Jiang broke up with her boyfriend because both parents disagreed. Third-party intervention means talking to parents, and "teachers" will pretend to be relatives of men or women to disintegrate parents' thoughts. But a month later, the "teacher" didn't bring any good news, and even said, "You may just be inappropriate." She later learned that a third party didn't intervene at all. Di Jiang's mother received a phone call, and the man basically didn't move. Now that I think about it, I feel stupid. "An unfamiliar person calls you to say this, who will believe it?"
On the consumer service platform, the reporter found many complaints of being cheated. The first category is that these institutions constantly guide consumers to pay, and then the service is slow. The second category is that during the so-called "recovery" contract period, no effective compound plan is given, and some even worsen the emotional relationship of consumers.
Transformation of "PUA"
For example, the business scope of Baizhou Education, which was consulted by Gao and Gu Yue, is marked as "educational consulting service, health consulting service and personal business service", but it is still emotional consulting in essence.
Most of these emotional counseling institutions were established in 20 18. According to Tianyancha's data, there are currently 1785 companies named "emotional counseling", nearly 30,000 "marriage service" companies, and some emotional counseling institutions are doing business under the guise of "educational counseling".
Luchong and Huaxiang are two major emotional institutions at present. In Guangdong, emotional institutions have mushroomed. In the past, many institutions mainly focused on psychological counseling, and some treatments for personal physical and mental health rarely directly pointed out the emotional direction.
The most popular projects in some organizations are "how to pick up girls" and "how to seduce China people", just like "PUA" that many people often discuss. On the Internet, a staff member of an educational institution revealed, "These are all changes in PUA."
Gu Yue found herself cheated and the organization didn't refund her money. She began to complain a lot on the Internet. She reread the contract and found that the responsibility of the contract to the emotional organization "teacher" was vague, and "rationally and legally use the theory and technology of emotional counseling and adjust the counseling methods and strategies in time". Students should not be too demanding and finish their homework. "Contracts are only organized to increase students' trust. When there is a problem, all the terms in the contract will be unfavorable to the students. " An employee of an emotional counseling agency said.
Police officer Yao of Jinshan Branch of Shanghai Public Security Bureau said that they first received a report that they had been defrauded by an emotional counseling agency for 34,000 yuan in order to save their feelings with their girlfriend. At first, he was attracted by the advertisement of "one-on-one private order, 100% saving love". After paying the first round of consultation fee, the intermediary "teacher" said that his ex-girlfriend had a new boyfriend and needed further money for the teacher to intervene in the work guidance, but he and his ex-girlfriend did not make any progress until they broke up for half a year, and the intermediary replied. After the alarm, the police verified the situation and found that the ex-girlfriend had already been married and had never received a phone call from any emotional recovery agency.
The whistleblower and Gao and Gu Yue signed up for the same organization, but the names are different, one is "Flower Picking Education Consultation" and the other is "Hundred Weeks Education". There are more than 500 victims like them, and they may belong to other organizations with different names, such as Ganmu, Habitat, Morning Flower and Hesheng. ...
Why is the registered company "Baizhou Education" but the account name of the transfer is "Sheng and Education"? Gao had doubts when transferring money. The "teacher" of the institution explained that it was because there were too many people there to pay, and now it is restricted. On the contrary, I feel that the business of the organization is very good and continue to pay.
According to the survey data of Tianyan, the reporter found that there are three or four "education consulting" companies related to the "Baizhou Education" legal person, and the investors with him also involve three or four. After checking with the telephone number, it is found that as many as 65,438+00 companies use a telephone. Judging from the operation of these 10 companies, they were all registered after 20 18 years, and more than half of them were cancelled around 2020, or reopened under new names.
Before 20 18, most of the legal persons of these 10 companies were engaged in industries unrelated to consulting: building materials, catering, biotechnology and graphic design. People who seem to have nothing to do suddenly switch to "educational consulting" companies within a period of time, and some even change their names directly to the original companies.
Regarding this constant renaming, cancellation and registration of new companies, police officer Yao said that many emotional fraud organizations are still doing this. Some companies reopened after receiving complaints and several legal disputes.
20% refund for failure
To reassure consumers, some institutions will also promise in the contract that if their feelings are not successfully restored during the contract period, they can refund 20% of the fees. However, Gao Hedu said, "The feeling of paying money at that time was that I would rather not refund the money."
After being cheated for the first time, Di Jiang has been looking for a new institution. She saw a post on the Internet, "Most recycling agencies are liars, but they are really good and useful, but we have to spend a lot of time looking for them ourselves." She recalled that the poster also shared her successful experience, and she decided to keep looking.
This time, she is much smarter. When looking for an institution, she must first check the industrial and commercial information, understand the details of the agency's fees, ensure that there are no follow-up payments, and see if the sales and "teachers" want to cheat money or really help you analyze. She stressed that the most important thing is the contract. "Even if it is said in the early stage, you must read the contract carefully, otherwise you will be led by the nose."
Someone asked her, "Do you need to see relevant certificates and business licenses?" Di Jiang couldn't say this question. In 20 17, there was no "psychological counselor" in the vocational qualification catalogue of Ministry of Human Resources and Social Security, and its vocational qualification examination was cancelled nationwide.
Gao remembers that the salesperson at that time said that all the "teachers" in charge here had psychological counseling certificates, but he didn't ask to see them. After the police intervened, it was found that this institution had no so-called professional qualification certificate at all. On the recruitment website, you can see the qualifications of the staff of this emotional organization, and you don't need academic qualifications. For example, online customer service only needs to graduate from high school, with unlimited experience and communication skills.
At present, this certificate is not a necessary condition for some employees. "What business license, what documents, you have to lie to you, you are not mistaken." A teacher from an emotional studio in Hangzhou said.
In June, 2020, 5438+065438+ 10, Wuhan Dongxihu District Public Security Bureau smashed a fraud gang providing "emotional recovery service" and arrested 58 suspects, involving more than 2 million yuan. This is the first case of emotional recovery agency fraud.
The Shanghai police defined it as fraud this time because they found that the staff did not have the relevant employment certificate and the service promised to customers was also false information during the process of verifying the situation. The police followed many victims until they received the phone call, and the other party realized that they had been cheated. Officer Yao said: "This is a new type of telecom fraud."
Zhou Xiaopeng, an expert in marriage and love psychology, is not used to saying "emotional recovery". She calls this process "relationship reconstruction". In reality, it is actually very difficult to find a formal institution. Most institutions have certificates, but many people's experience is not perfect. Psychological counseling is a field of dealing with people. Simply put, the most important thing is to see whether individuals and consultants can get along, which also depends on the professional ability and personality charm of consultants.
"In fact, from the process of people looking for institutions, it is also a projection of people's emotions." Zhou Xiaopeng said. The word "emotional redemption" sounds more purposeful than "relationship reconstruction" and seems to be less laborious. When some people anxiously find those institutions that promise to "make up", it also proves that they don't spend much time on themselves and are lazy. "Looking for an institution that wants to be lazy can also see this person's attitude towards feelings."
Gao reflected that he was too anxious. At the beginning of June, he posted his own experience on the consumer complaint platform, waiting for further processing. Only when he saw the news a few days ago did he know that the "teacher" of this institution had been arrested. He continued to complain and report the case, waiting for the money to be returned.
Gu Yue had long realized that he had been cheated. After she kept posting on the internet, the staff of the organization promised to return the money to her in order to calm these complaints. She also got rid of her last relationship. Recalling her behavior, she felt silly. "If I break up next time, I will definitely not find such an institution."
After searching 50 colleges and universities, Di Jiang finally found one that satisfied her. The other party didn't promise that she would get it back, and extended the time period to three months, advising her not to be eager for quick success and quick success, and not to give up halfway. This time she paid 9000 yuan, and the "teacher" gave her a "class" at 7 o'clock every night, telling her how to open a new topic, how to reply, and how to control her emotions.
In the days when she resumed contact with her ex-boyfriend, no matter what the other party said, Di Jiang would take screenshots for the "teacher". The "teacher" will ask her what she thinks first, and then arrange the text for her to reply.
After reconciliation, Di Jiang didn't tell her boyfriend that in order to save this relationship, she spent 20,000 yuan back and forth. "How dare I say that?" She feels that her personality has changed a lot, and she is not as impulsive and "acting" as before. Sometimes, her boyfriend will ask her, "Why do I feel that you have changed so much since we broke up?" (Interviewees Gao and Gu Yue are all pseudonyms. )