2. Inferiority-self-protection-making up for superiority-ignoring the status quo and goals-is even more inferior.
Make friends with people with inferiority complex.
Entering inferiority is often because of fear of inferiority. Imagine that you are driving on a strange road and find signs and signals on the roadside constantly reminding you that this road is impassable. If you turn around at this time, you will feel that you are a road idiot and have no sense of direction, so in order not to feel stupid, you will keep driving until you finally come to a dead end and find that there is no way out. Inferiority is the sign of life. Their meaning is not to deny your driving skills, mind or the meaning of traveling, but to remind you that it is time to adjust your direction.
If we don't know the pain, we will drag our broken arms around; If you don't know fear, you will foolishly cross the speeding traffic; If you don't know fatigue, you will work endlessly until you die suddenly; If we don't know how to feel inferior, we will make the same mistake countless times and never repent. Many of the things we are afraid of are actually our allies. Most parents and teachers are too stupid to understand this, so they mislead us. Learn to make friends with people with low self-esteem, and even don't mind this friend stealing a little sense of superiority from you. Although you need to pay some price, this friend can tell you many important things.
When we see confident people, we always fantasize that we are perfect and want nothing. However, in fact, people who feel inferior but remain modest, positive and practical are confident. No one can be 100% confident When inferiority is triggered, the most confident people I have ever met are very willing to admit their mistakes, accept failure, face criticism, and then think about how to do better. Such people are horribly confident, because nothing can break their confidence and willingness to change.
So if you want to get rid of the inferiority complex in emotion or in any aspect of life, you must have such an attitude: "Fuck the superiority complex!" " "
Get rid of a bad habit
People with inferiority complex will have many habits of seeking superiority in interpersonal communication and feelings, and it is these compensation behaviors that make you fall into a strange circle of inferiority complex. You must take them out and shoot them, because they are shameless liars and make you think you have solved the problem. How to find these behaviors? Some common behaviors are listed below, and the cracking angle is given. Please contact every choice in your love life.
1. please obey: I like to please others and never attract others, because this is one of the few advantages. After making others happy, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and feel that you are a good person. But no matter how much you please, the other person's attitude towards you will not change. At this time, you can either admit that you will never be recognized in this person's eyes and end this relationship, or please completely lose your self-esteem and self. People who truly accept you will not leave you because they are different from you.
2. Degrade and criticize: You will find various angles to prove that people who are better than you are not as good as you, and feel confident. What you are pursuing is not a comprehensive transcendence, but a psychological balance of "I am no worse than you". You will find that your shortcomings will only appear when you compare with others. There are no shortcomings in ordinary life, but once compared, the objective reality is that you have never thought about how to improve those aspects that are not as good as people, and you will never change them. The essence of a good girl meeting love rat is that a submissive girl meets a repressed girl: the submissive one has no bottom line, and the repressed one has no moral integrity, because everyone wants more superiority.
3. High expectations: Setting an unattainable goal will make your doomed failure look like an uncontrollable objective situation, so that you don't have to face the reality of your own lack of strength, let alone consider how to improve it. The criteria for choosing a mate on a blind date are very picky, which is mostly for this reason. People who have been single for a long time and no one looks down upon them will always live between the cruel reality of "I have been single for many years" and the narcissism of "I am very demanding". And those who always encounter "I value but despise me" always overestimate their own strength. To prove that it is not a matter of your own strength, please set a goal that is not so high and achieve it first.
4. Pessimism: selectively collect the omens of failure, so that after you really fail, you have enough reasons to prove that it has nothing to do with your ability. People who scold men for being sexy and women for being materialistic want men to be sexy and women to be materialistic, which makes sense. But if you compare yourself with people in the same situation, you will find that others may face the same pessimistic situation, but they can do things well.
5. Escape: You can easily avoid some scenes or situations that make you feel inferior to avoid losing your sense of superiority, but what you avoid is often the most helpful and problem-solving of all the choices objectively. You will settle for the second best, because it is not so difficult, but you can't deny that the result of escape is procrastination and self-deception. What you need to consider is how to succeed in what you avoid most.
6. Make excuses: You will attribute your personal shortcomings and gaps to the environment, others, force majeure or a temporary state, so you don't have to take responsibility. Singles who love to say that they are busy with work, have a small circle, and are introverted and unsociable have never thought that every reason they give is only a temporary state, not an unchangeable reality. Have you ever thought that the people you admire actually do things with the same starting point, and this is the fundamental gap between you and them.
7. Think more and do less: Think more because you will make up thousands of reasons to give up before you do anything, and do less because people with low self-esteem are particularly strong in self-persuasion. If you can apply this persuasiveness to others, you may be able to accomplish many things. Just thinking about not doing it is worrying that the risk of failure will endanger your self-confidence, but the reason you come up with is only an idea after all, so you will lose your self-confidence. Long-term and stable self-confidence comes from what a person has done, not what he thought and said.
Who we are has nothing to do with what we said, but it has something to do with what we did, but it must have something to do with what we didn't do. Are you making up for your sense of superiority, or are you moving forward with the motivation brought by inferiority? Ask yourself what you did and what you didn't do, and you can see it at a glance.
Walking out of the road of inferiority is a long way to re-examine life, redefine value and redesign behavior. A sentence or two, an article or even a book or two can't make you easily get rid of the habit of more than 20 years. Others give you angles and methods, and the master leads you in. Practice depends on individuals. Do you want a sense of superiority fooled by one or two naive little ideas, or do you want a solid self-confidence built in 20 or 30 years? Please implement it in every choice in the future.