Wuxi jiazigu training class

One.

Tianlong Babu

Act I (New Oriental TOEFL Training Course)

Xu Zhu: In order to take the TOEFL, I am not afraid of hardship, winter or summer. Take another 250 this year and go home to sell sweet potatoes (sit down).

Qiao Feng: It's annoying to take the TOEFL every year! I can't help it If I want to go abroad, I must take the exam. (Sit down)

Duan Yu: Everyone says I'm healthy. Look to the left, like Emil Wakin Chau; Look to the right, like Ekin Cheng; Look, like Dicky Cheung; Looking down, it looks like Gao Cangjian. Handsome, I can't help it. My father is the South King of Dali Town!

Qiao Feng: What book? (grabs a virtual book) Virtual: Come here! Bring it here. ...

Joe: What a stupid book! Xu: Broken books? I finally found out!

Joe: Huh? Classmate, are you from the Department of Mathematics and Science of * * University? X: Yes.

Joe: Have a nice meeting! I'm Qiao Feng, a tough guy in Class 9 of the Department of Mathematics and Science!

Xu: I'm in Class Seven!

Duan: Second brother, second brother, please be worshipped by my younger brother. (Joe and Xu: You too? ) right! I'm Duan Yu, a handsome boy from Class Five! Xinghui xinghui ...

Joe: Two people! TOEFL is a long way to go and a difficult future. It's rare that the three of us are so predestined friends. I think we'll be brothers in the future, and it's better to have a care!

Duan: Good! Then you are the eldest brother, the second brother, and I am the third brother (okay, okay)

Xu: Life is like this. What can a husband expect? From then on, I will never be lonely on the long university road.

Joe: Good brother, let's go for a drink! (Go, go ...)

Xu: Hey ~ ~ ~ I can't! New Oriental is too far from the pub.

Duan: Nothing, nothing, I have coke here. Joe: Dude, how thoughtful of you! ) eldest brother, drink first! (good)

Joe: Come on, second brother. (Give Duan a drink) Third Brother, drink! (Duan is about to drink, and Wang He's tomb goes on stage)

Wang: Cousin, how far is it from here? Why do you have to come here?

Mu: I think so. I'm in good shape. Going abroad is my lifelong dream. I want to go abroad, I want to go abroad, I want to go abroad! ! (two people do it)

Off-site: Today, we invited a famous foreign teacher from * * University, whose book was translated into 3722 languages and published.

Foreign teacher (on stage): Hello! So many people are really lively! Look how handsome these big girls and boys are! Old man, I am so happy to see psychology!

Q: Didn't you say that you are a foreign teacher? Why do you speak Chinese so well and have a good taste?

Foreigner: Well ... this ... foreign teacher, a teacher from other places, referred to as foreign teacher for short. Next, let's call the roll, Qiao Feng (here! ) virtual bamboo (here! ) Duan Yu, Duan Yu! Is Duan Yu here? (received! ) Wang Yuyan (right) Mu Rongfu (right! ) Well, let's begin our class. I'll write the main content of this lesson on the blackboard first.

Duan: classmate, classmate, how do you pronounce this word? W: I don't know. ) You don't know? Then let me read it to you! Mu: What level! ) Do you dare to compare with me? (Mu: Contrast! )

F: A! Good a, good a! Old man, I like watching games best. Come on, I'll be your referee. All right, ready ~ go! ! At this time, I will introduce the contents of the exam to you. As long as the exam is word translation, the contents mainly include: the northern ghost magic, the six-pulse Excalibur, the small step of the scale wave, and the eighteen palms of the dragon. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock (Receiving paper, watching) All right, let's announce the result of the game. The score is n to 0, and the winner is Mu Rongfu! (Mu stands up and waves) Ok, class, let's call it a day. Class is over (out).

Joe and Xu: It's really dark! ? Class is over so soon?

Wang: Cousin, you are amazing! (Walking down the steps, Duan lies prone on the table, and Joe and Xu comfort him)

Act II (outside apartment 10)

A card on the stage reads: Ten apartments. Sitting next to him is a building manager who is knitting a sweater. Joe's three-person play)

Joe: Third Brother, Big Brother will call Miss Wang down for you later. (Joke: I ... I ...) (Xu: Let's go! ) it's okay, big brother has a unique skill. Who doesn't know that beauty loves heroes since ancient times? Later, you will invite Miss Wang to the canteen for dinner. Your second brother and I will dress up as robbers. At that time, you will knock us down. I can't believe she won't be dumped by your heroism. At that time, I threw myself at you It's all yours How's it going? Let's go, ............................................................................................................................................................................. I see, second brother, you go first, and I'll cover you from behind! Let's go (Virtual cat bent down and was slapped by the floor pipe) (Virtual: Alas! )

Building manager: So you want to enter 10 building? Tell you, don't say it's a boy, it's a male mosquito, and you don't want to fly in from here! (Sit back and continue knitting)

Joe: Is this ... is this the girl and girl in the legendary 10 building? Second brother, you have suffered!

Duan: This note hasn't arrived yet! What should I do?

Joe: Don't worry, the tenth building can't be attacked! We must find a way to outsmart them. Let me see ... I see! Brother, I took part in a mechanical competition and made a stair climbing robot. Wang Cai, Wang Cai! (prone on the dog) Come on, GPRS global positioning system, coordinates:1Building 0, 226, ready, go! Ok, brothers, let's go back and wait for the good news! (Three men fall and another king stands up)

Wang: Huh? What is this thing? (takes the letter from Wang Cai, look)

Narrator: (paragraph reading) I have been fascinated by you since I first met you, ah! My angel, if you like, only on the fifth bench on the main road at 9 pm, I will be there, waiting for you stupidly. -handsome Duan Yu.

Wang: What the hell? Nothing new (leave the letter on the building management). This puppy is quite cute. I'll stay. Let's go (end).

Lou: (Discovery Letter) Huh? What is this? (reading the letter, intoxicated) It turns out that there has always been a passionate person who has a crush on me (intoxicated). Anyway, if you are free tonight, go and meet him! (below)

Act III (Main Road of School)

(Duan sits on a bench, and the small building walks slowly on one side of the platform)

Duan: classmate, this is taken. (Cleaning the chair, talking to himself) The historic moment has come. What should I say? Alas, the elective course of this semester-Appreciation of Modern Love Letters in China was not selected again. (Pause for a moment) You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the cabbage, I am the bitter gourd, you are the beauty, I am not afraid, you are the dinosaur, and I commit suicide. I'm so handsome ... (near the building) Good ... Good ... You're here. Have you eaten? Eat a little after eating (I really can't eat any more). Is it full? Duan Lang, you are so funny! ) yes! She praised me for being funny! ... in fact, every time I walk downstairs from apartment 10, I won't think of you. I looked at you from the window countless times (really? I am at the entrance of the building) (Duan takes out roses and gives them to the building) Let's enjoy the beautiful moonlight together! (hmm)

(At this moment, Wang stepped down from the stage. )

Duan: Oh, my God! (Lou: What's the matter? ) Oh … sorry, I remember, our building is going to lose power soon, and my computer is still on! I'll find you another day! bye-bye ...

Lou: Don't ... Don't go! ..... He seems a little embarrassed, but it doesn't matter, there will be another time. ..

Act IV (canteen)

(Xu Qiao takes the stage, holding a scarf and a knife, pretending to be a robber)

Xu: Brother, I've never done this before, and now I'm a little shaky …

Joe: Nothing. Do as big brother does. Once born, twice cooked! Go, go, go ... (Wang and Mu go on stage)

X: Stop! Hit, hit, hit, hit (robbery! ) yes, robbery!

Mu: I despise you robbers the most. You have no technical content at all.

Joe: Cut the crap! I opened this road; I planted this tree. If you want to go to the canteen, leave your meal card! If you dare to say no, hum! (Broken knife) Just ask this knife.

Mu: (Wang: Cousin, what can I do? ) You said, my face is broken, how can I go abroad? Heroes don't eat short-term losses (take out the card for Joe) to you! We can go there now!

X: Wait a minute. Dude, I-I want to grab an ……IC IP IQ card. Tell me all the passwords.

Wang: What ... What are you doing? !

X: What for? Bring ... bring the bag! Hurry up! (grab the bag).

(Duan goes on stage) Duan: bold thief! Security service! Ha! (swinging)

Joe: Then ... Then let's run! (Throw the bag to Duan and run down with Xu. Mu sighs, also under)

Duan: Miss Wang, you are in shock. Why don't you go to the school hospital?

Wang: (holding the bag) Give me the bag, give it to me! (Take back the bag and get off)

Duan: Girl, girl ... yeah! (Josh walks onto the stage) She talked to me.

Joe: Really? What did she say?

Duan: She said, give me the bag.

Joe: Hi! Busy for a long time. It seems that this trick won't work. How about this (the three of us are immersed in the discussion)

Act 5 (canteen)

(Wang, Mu came to power)

Wang: Cousin, you scared me just now. Why do you think there are robbers in the school? It seems a bit strange, doesn't it?

Mu: Don't be afraid, I have a cousin! I invite you to dinner ... My meal card was taken away by a robber. Where's your card?

W: (touching his pocket). I may have left mine in the dormitory. Let me get it. (below)

(Xu Qiao takes the stage as a girl)

Xu: Brother, how can we pretend to be girls like this?

Joe: I think it's not bad I mean, there are many girls in our canteen. Bah, look, what kinds are there? Go (two people go to Mu's side)

X: Ah! Sister Zhu, I am not dreaming!

Joe: Absolutely not!

Mu: Why do these two people look so familiar? Who are you?

Joe: Oh, we are your fans.

X: We have heard your English speech!

Mu: Oh! Admirers! Um ... English speech? I've never given an English speech before!

X: I wonder if you could give me your autograph?

Mu: Sure, sign your English name! (Sign on Virtual Hand)

Joe: Hehe, he also has an English name! F-O-O-L, is a fool.

X: Thanks. Can you take another photo with me? (Mu: OK)

Joe: Come on, I'll take your picture. Come closer. All right, one more. ...

(Wang came to the stage and found Mu with other' girls', so he went forward and slapped Mu. )

Wang: I was wrong about you. I didn't know you were such a person.

Mu: Cousin, let me explain.

Wang: You can have a look at this!

Mu: Cousin ... Cousin ... (Pull him down, Wang cries, Duan goes on stage)

Duan: Miss Wang? I wonder why Miss Wang is so sad.

Wang: My sister thinks my cousin has failed me.

Duan: Miss Wang doesn't have to be sad. There are no handsome guys in the world. Why do you want to see a flower?

Wang: But we grew up together, went to school together and went to college together.

Duan: Actually, your cousin is not the only one who is sincere to Miss Wang in the world.

Wang: You mean, you?

(Josh holds a headscarf)

Joe: Third brother! It's done! We took care of Mu Rongfu!

W: What what? You two? This scarf? (Joe: This isn't mine) You've played both robbers and women!

Duan: Miss Wang, listen to me. Listen to me!

Wang: Needless to say, you are all liars. (Listen to me! ) Needless to say! (Wang walks off the stage)

Duan: Miss Wang! Miss Wang ... Miss Wang ~ ~ ~

Act VI (Apartment 10)

(The building manager is still knitting a sweater, and Wang is standing behind her) [Music: Time]

(Duan goes on stage)

Duan: Miss Wang, can you go downstairs and listen to my true confession? [Sound effect: breaking glass] It's very kind of Miss Wang. Did you give me a glass basin?

Wang: Come on, I don't want to see you again, you hypocrite.

Duan: Listen to me, Miss Wang. In fact, my big brother and second brother just want to help me, stealing chickens and not eating rice. Oh, no, no, no, I mean self-defeating.

Wang: You are all liars, liars!

Duan: I have to learn my sincerity to miss every day. God, if you are moved by the true feelings, please let it rain cats and dogs now! [Sound Effect: Rain, Thunder] No way, so powerful?

Wang: Really!

Building manager: (moved to tears) I see 10 building. After so many years, today is the most touching. I can't even do it. Whoops ~ ~ ~ (running down)

Duan: Miss Wang, you can't trust me anyway. I have to leave 10 building, which is sad. Before I leave, I want to send you a song to express my heart. (Singing "I have you all my life", Joe and Xu took the stage to sing with him)

(Wang goes downstairs, Duan three people stop singing [music stops])

Duan: What about you, Miss Wang?

Wang: It was your singing that moved me and made me see my cousin's true colors. Let's just ... let's get started!

Duan: That's good! Let's go to eat!

Wang: OK! But my meal card was taken away by my cousin.

Duan: Nothing, I have that boy's meal card!

Wang: Huh? Duan Lang, you are amazing!

Paragraph: (Bowing) Miss Wang is flattering me. (Two people walk down)

Xu: Brother, let's go to dinner, too.

Joe: You'd better eat. Let's leave now. What are you eating? (less than two people)

The play is over! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Two.

Crazy exam cloud

People: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling, five teachers.

Scene: classroom

Content:

Xiaoling sleeps on the table.

Iverson lost a book with him. Get out.

Xiao Wu came in and took Xiao Ai's seat.

Xiao Ai (entering): Oh, man, this is really confusing. Are you kidding? Don't you see, I've already occupied this seat!

Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding and Mao is Mao. Actually, I took it before you!

Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning. Why didn't I see you?

Wu: I took it last night.

Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I get up early every day, grab the head and bleed like a river. I can't lose this position!

Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. This place is unique. If you want to get rid of me from here (AI:-Why? ) I advise you to pull it off early!

Xiaoling woke up: What was that noise? It's a waste of youth to quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning! Do you know what political mistakes you made? Huh?

Xiao Ai: I don't know.

Xiaoling: As a * * * Communist Youth League member, to set up the lofty ideal of * * * socialism, maintain a high degree of consistency with the CPC Central Committee politically, ideologically and practically, and constantly enhance the organization concept and discipline concept of the League members, it is necessary to ......

Xiao Wu and Xiao Ai: Sister, we were wrong. Don't waste your breath We won't fight.

Xiaoling: But what you can't forgive is that you woke me up!

Iverson sat in front of Xiaoling.

Xiao Ai: Last but not least, develop style. Dude, take the exam as I say!

Wu: Huh? Today's exam?

Xiaoling: Really? My hands are numb today!

Xiao Ai: Scared?

Xiao Wu: Did you sleep?

Xiaoling: None of them are right! Tired of cheating!

Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent the middle of the night burning a lamp and boiling oil!

Xiao Wu: Oh, have you studied hard?

Xiaoling: Do you cheat, too?

Xiao Ai: Oh, I'm thinking about the exam strategy!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling leaned over: What do you think?

Xiao Ai laughed wildly: I tell you, this is a great move!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: Come on!

Xiao Ai: Copy from the book-(picks up the book)

Xiaoling: Go to hell!

Wu: Good idea! Why didn't I think of that?

Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick? Well, to ease the tension, I'll give you a humorous quiz.

Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu ignored her.

Xiaoling: Say, how many steps are there in the exam answer sheet?

Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu leaned in: How many steps are there?

Xiaoling: Three steps!

Step 1: Write down your name. (Both nod)

Step 2: Read the topic again! (Both nod)

Step 3:-hand in the papers!

Xiao Ai: Hand in a blank sheet of paper!

Wu: What's the problem?

Xiaoling: I'll give you another question; Say, who didn't come to the exam today?

Xiao Ai: Who can't take the exam today? Xiaoling?

Xiaoling: I'm not here!

Xiao Ai: Look around, Wu?

Xiao Wu: Yes!

Xiao Ai: Ah! I see-little moxa!

Wu: You came for nothing! It's not the same whether you come or not!

Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! Not yet!

The teacher came in.

Three people are startled: coming? Why did you come without saying anything? Oh, dear! (noisy)

Teacher 1: What's your name? Did the toad come in?

Three people laughed.

Teacher 1: Be careful what to do in this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? Score! On and off, your lifeblood! (Laughter) Exams are our magic weapon!

Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, our unique skill!

Teacher 1: Hand out the test papers quickly! Don't come early after the exam. What time is it now? The exam has started for half an hour! What did you do?

Curly hair

Teacher 1: The exam time is * * * two hours! Don't hand in the papers for more than an hour! Students who want to answer questions, please pick up the pen. Students who don't want to answer questions, please rest in place. Students who want to go to the toilet-please restrain yourself!

Xiao Ai: I compare my teacher. He is a mouse looking for a cat as an escort-unreasonable demands!

Xiaoling: Exactly! Is he a legendary rapper, or why can't he keep mumbling?

Teacher 1: Silence! You are quieter than a tree! Do you know how serious a mistake you have made? Every * * * Communist Youth League member should always pay attention to strictly demanding himself with the standards of * * * Communist Youth League members, constantly enhance his sense of honor and responsibility as a * * * Communist Youth League member, take the lead in all aspects of study, work and social life, strive to be a model for implementing the party's line, principles and policies, work hard, study hard, abide by the law, and innovate.

Three people copy.

Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please don't copy this classmate!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: I didn't copy it!

The teacher came to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying!

Xiao Ai: How do you know? I copied it in my desk!

Teacher: You dropped the board in front of your desk. I saw it!

Xiao Ai: (looking at it) Ouch! have bad luck

The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's test paper, and Xiao Ai just wanted to stand up and walk.

Teacher: Sit down! Go out in an hour!

The teacher went to see Xiao Wu, who took the test paper to the table and copied it.

Teacher: Come on, come on, stop pretending! I despise you people who cheat with books most. You have no technical content at all. How did you copy it? Like this? Like this?

Wu: Lower it! Lower it!

Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu's test paper) You also sit and reflect. Why did you cheat with this book?

Xiao Wu: I don't want to take the book either! I didn't cheat sheets like her (Xiaoling)!

Xiaoling stared at Xiao Wu.

Teacher: That's right. Remember to cheat next time! I like this kind of hard-working child.

Teacher: Time is up! Hand in the papers.

Put away the test papers.

Teacher: OK. Remember to take the advanced math exam this afternoon!

Xiao Ai: Ah! Still taking the advanced math exam in the afternoon?

Xiaoling: Ah! ! Take the exam in the afternoon! (Picking up a cheat sheet) What did you just take?

Wu: Gao ... number? ! What kind of tree is that?

Three people: study how to copy cheat sheets!

Teacher 2 came in.

Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher!

Teacher 2: How is your composition, Xiao Ai? (Xiao Ai's test paper)

Xiao Ai: What's the matter?

Teacher 2: You read books.

Xiao Ai: "My teacher", my teacher has an oval face ...

Teacher 2: Wait a minute. (Take out a big sign that says claws) Are you a melon with a melon face? You wrote that my teacher has a claw face!

Xiao Ai: Teacher, paw face is also a face. Can't you make do with it?

Teacher 2: Keep reading.

Xiao Ai: My teacher is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. ...

Teacher 2: Stop! You wrote so much. It's beautiful. Why? Just write it to the end!

Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn't the composition required to be no less than 500 words?

Teacher 2: So you only paint beautiful pictures?

Xiao Ai: Isn't it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings!

Teacher 2: Hum, I'm telling you, you only have 496 words!

Xiao Ai: Oh! Then add: how beautiful!

Teacher 2: Look at your explanation of words and death. You wrote "Go to hell"!

Xiao Ai: Oh, I want to write to death!

Teacher 2: (with a helpless face) You, you hung up again!

Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I have rebuilt it five times!

Teacher 2: OK, I'll give you a chance. I've heard of pemphigus, and I'm comfortable with it, right? You can make sentences easily, and I'll give them to you when it's right!

Xiao Ai: Do you have any fish? ! Fish ... fish, fish swim in the water, and there are fish in the blade. ...

Teacher 2: (Laughter) Congratulations, you won-

Iverson: Have you passed?

Teacher 2: (It doesn't matter) The sixth chance to rebuild.

Xiaoling and Xiao Wu: Forget it, let's learn the cheat sheet for high numbers.

Teacher 3 came in.

Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher!

Teacher 3: Xiao Wu!

Wu: Yes!

Teacher 3: Look at your test paper! My question is: this is the question, please answer. what did you say ?

Xiao Wu: This is the answer. Please give points ... Is there a mistake?

Teacher 3: You-OK, next question: What is courage? Why didn't you answer it?

Xiao Wu: I answered!

Teacher 3: Just five words!

Wu: (reading) This is courage! That's right! Then I handed in my paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained my courage!

Teacher 3: You-you wait to hang up!

Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I hung up fifteen times!

Teacher 3: Then let me ask you two questions. It depends on your nature. ...

Wu: Two-too many!

Teacher 3: OK, you got the first question right. If you don't answer the second question, I will let you pass. How many hairs do you have?

Xiao Wu: I wish I were bald.

Teacher 3: Answer!

Xiaowu: 123456789!

Teacher 3: How do you know?

Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don't have to answer the second question!

Teacher 3: OK! Very good! Very good! Take it (pass a piece of paper)

Wu: This is-

Teacher 3: Reconstruction Act! (below)

Xiaoling and Xiao Ai: To learn advanced mathematics-

Teacher 4 came in.

Xiaoling: English teacher! (trying to run)

Teacher 4: Xiaoling, why are you running? No breakfast!

Xiaoling: I didn't eat-

Teacher 4: I saw you eating this morning!

Xiaoling:-Have breakfast tomorrow!

Teacher 4: Xiao Ling, look at the test paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just choose the topic without looking at it at all?

Xiaoling: No!

Teacher 4: Dare to quibble!

Xiaoling: I didn't even look at the question, just the answer!

Teacher 4: And your composition! Why does it look familiar?

Xiaoling: Does it look strange? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph.

Teacher 4: Xiaoling, you should wake up! You this time-

Xiaoling: Ah! Teacher, I failed five or five times, no, fifty times! Can't hang up any more!

Teacher 4: it's not that I didn't give it to you ... this ... for example, can you translate what evening dress means?

(to the audience) This is an evening dress!

Xiaoling looked at Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu.

Xiao Ai: Night is night, right? Perfect for big games!

Xiao Wu: clothes are clothes, MM is always clamoring to buy them!

Xiaoling: Oh! Teacher, I know! It's a night suit!

The teacher shook his head. (below)

Xiaoling: No, I have to find a teacher! You two take your time! (below)

Xiao Ai: Forget it. It may not be useful to copy it. I'm leaving, too.

Wu: What about that? Hand in a blank sheet of paper?

Xiao Ai: Of course, I can't hand in a blank sheet of paper. I'm going to recite the most difficult questions now, and then write them on the test paper and answer them myself! (below)

Xiao Wu: He has a personality. (just want to leave)

Teacher 5 came in.

Xiao Wu: Head teacher!

Teacher 5: Xiao Wu, I want to talk to you.

Wu: Ah!

Teacher 5: The last question asks: What is the principle of this reaction? What did you answer?

Xiao Wu:-Physical principles.

Teacher 5: Is there such an answer?

Wu: Really ... a chemical principle?

Teacher 5: Xiao Wu! What can you do at this rate? Why don't you like studying?

Xiao Wu:-Don't like my major!

Teacher 5: Environmental worker? Do you know what environmental workers do?