My mother will only say that I am naughty and don't care about me at all. What can she say about me? I'm hungry, and my grandmother feeds me. When I am sleepy, my grandmother makes my bed and tells me stories to put me to sleep. I can't do my homework, but my grandmother taught me. If my mother talks about me, I'm not afraid. My grandmother protects me.

This passage is taken from a composition of primary school students. Mom will probably laugh and cry when she sees it.

The pace of life is getting more and more tense. Young parents have little time to take care of their children because of the pressure of work and life. They had to hand over the burden of raising their children to their grandparents. As a result, grandparents unconsciously became the children's "parents" and "bodyguards". From life care to school transportation, from checking homework to acting as an "umbrella" when parents criticize their children, it is probably a common social phenomenon at present.

Conger is already a second-grade primary school student, but her "situation" makes her mother more and more worried. At home, it is quite normal to be smart and love to talk and laugh, but at school, she is so afraid of group activities that she will cry when the teacher calls her up to answer questions. Recently, she often refutes her mother at home: grandma says that girls will become stupid when they grow up, but they can't compete with boys. It is useless for girls to study when they are young!

Young mothers have no time to take care of their children, so they have to leave them to the elderly. The benefits of this are obvious: the peaceful attitude of the elderly creates a harmonious family atmosphere for children; The characteristics of "old children" make them easy to integrate into children's games and make their relationship harmonious; Experienced grandparents have rich practical experience in raising children. Their calm, patient and meticulous attitude and methods can not only give children a sense of security, but also give active support and help to young parents with heavy work and life pressure. Old people have a better understanding of excellent traditional culture and virtues, and they have an advantage in passing these things on to their children.

However, as Kanger's mother is worried, the problem of the elderly taking care of children is also obvious: the unprincipled doting of the elderly not only hinders the growth of children's excellent self-character, but also leads to the problems of children's willfulness, strong dependence and slow development of self-care ability. It is also because there are differences with parents on the issue of educating children, which on the one hand makes children feel confused about right and wrong, on the other hand affects the parent-child relationship between parents and children.

In addition, due to the gap between grandparents' own cognitive ability and modern educational concepts, their educational concepts for children are not only "outdated" but also "wrong".

Then, for mothers who are under the pressure of work and life, how should they effectively treat and deal with "peer education" when they are unable to take care of and raise their children?

Here, it is suggested that mothers should first assume the necessary responsibilities and be responsible and good mothers, which is the premise of educating their children well. No matter how busy a mother is, she should spend as much time as possible with her children. Don't use busyness as an excuse to shift all the responsibility of raising children to the elderly, and then blame grandparents when children have problems.

Psychological research shows that early childhood is an important stage of parent-child relationship cultivation. At this stage, if a child does not live with his parents, his sense of belonging will shift, usually to the person who lives with him. If the child is completely left to grandparents, there will be a phenomenon of family life in which the child has deep feelings with grandparents and grandparents, but is separated from his parents. This scene will inevitably affect the child's physical and mental health in the future.

Secondly, when mothers and the elderly have different educational concepts, communication with the elderly should be "skills". Don't blindly think that the older generation knows nothing, nothing. In fact, as long as they have enough patience to explain and master some "communication skills", they are also willing to learn some advanced educational concepts and effective educational methods.

These technologies include:

First, affirm and emphasize your love for children. Because of this kind of love, everyone hopes that their children will grow into a person with healthy body and mind and sound personality. Don't simply say "You are wrong, it will harm the children" to the elderly.

Second, it makes sense to use the words of parenting experts. You can say, "I saw a parenting expert say that this is helpful and beneficial to the child's personality development", instead of saying, "You don't want to teach like that, I think you should teach like this".

Thirdly, once the old people have done the right way of education, they must be encouraged and praised, emphasizing that children's performance is much better than in the past because of the old people's way. Finally, a smart mother won't argue with the elderly about how to educate her children in front of them. Although children are young, their cognition of the outside world is developing rapidly. His observation ability is not only particularly keen, but also his ability to "drill holes" can not be underestimated.

Arguing in front of children will not only make him realize that the two sides can't quarrel over their own problems, but also lead to more and more serious problems and even other problems. It will also make him feel that this disharmonious family atmosphere is unsafe and will adversely affect his psychological development.