Everyone has different views on marriage, especially in Pride and Prejudice. It also brings you the concept of marriage in Pride and Prejudice.
When I was teaching Pride and Prejudice, I tried my best to correct my classmates' misunderstanding of this literary work. Influenced by the film adaptation, they thought it was a movie? Love? Novel. As a satirist (though not very spicy), Austin also writes about the dark side of the world, which has nothing to do with romance and goes far beyond the superficial theme of love and marriage. In fact, including many early works, Austin is discussing the great social changes brought about by modernization, especially the liberation of human nature. Just like Austin's other works, in Pride and Prejudice, personal anxiety about choosing a spouse is actually a common social anxiety. These concerns often revolve around the division of family status, the mobility between social classes and the improvement of individual autonomy.
In fact, however, all my views on marriage still come from Pride and Prejudice.
Regardless of its position in literary theory and history, marriage is a top priority in Austin's world. The profound interpretation of marriage in Pride and Prejudice always fascinates me. Here are nine things I learned from it. Of course, there must be more.
Mutual respect is the key to a happy marriage.
In the book, the first couple we met were Mr. and Mrs. Bennett. They provide a good negative textbook for this proposition. Master Bennet fooled his wife like a fool (of course, she was really stupid), while Mrs. Bennet retaliated by nagging her about her only privilege. As readers, we may laugh at Mrs. Bennet with Sir Bennet (and the author), but we can't completely agree with him. We know that Elizabeth loves her father very much, and his father respects her very much. However, even Elizabeth admits that if you let me talk about the happiness of marriage and the fun of family according to my own family, I can't say anything nice. ? [ 1]
Hearing this, we can't help thinking of the marriage between Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and Elizabeth. Elizabeth? It's not that I can't see the evil of a father as a husband. ? Mrs. Bennet, as a wife and a woman, may do better; Master Bennet will love her even more. However, according to marriage expert Pat? Pat Ennis (he runs a marriage growth plan? The third option? [2] Describe what Mrs. Bennet belongs to? Bitterness? Typical representative doesn't like anything. Meanwhile, Master Bennet belongs to? A sarcastic person? Always belittle others.
Ennis said that respect is the cornerstone of a long-term marriage, and it is also the extraordinary wisdom of Austin, who is unmarried for life, because Austin realized this long before the so-called psychology, life coaching and marriage retreat were invented.
The first impression is very inaccurate
Fans of Pride and Prejudice know that its original title is First Impression. The first half of the novel is the accumulation of false impressions, especially Elizabeth's misunderstanding of Darcy, who seems arrogant (which also leads to a so-called? Prejudice? )。 Ironically, Elizabeth is convinced of Darcy's arrogance, largely because she is convinced that she has a keen but not impeccable insight. In the second half of the novel, it is the correction of misunderstanding and the elimination of arrogance and prejudice that lead to misunderstanding.
Like Elizabeth, when I first met my husband, I was very? Lucky? There are some wrong impressions about him. At that time, I was a freshman like Lydia. When we first met, I had no idea that I would marry him one day, and he seemed to think so. In fact, his real idea was not like this, and then my idea changed. The past is unbearable.
Men's books are telling.
In Austin's world, scale matters. I mean the number of books.
When Elizabeth was trapped in Netherfield because of her sister's illness, the enthusiastic Bingley invited her to his study and brought her the book? All the books in the study? . Elizabeth told him that there were enough books in the room for her to read. Bingley said frankly,? If only I had more books, whether for your benefit or for my own face; But I am a slacker, and I don't have many books, let alone reading them. ?
Then, Miss Bingley charmingly accosted Darcy, who was reading a book. She said,? One day I will have a home of my own. What a pity if I didn't study hard. I'm surprised that my father only left so many books. Mr Darcy, your library in Pemberley is really wonderful! ?
Darcy said, what's so strange about this? This is the achievement of several generations. ?
? You bought so many books yourself, only to see that you are always buying books. ? Miss Bingley said coquetry.
Later, Elizabeth clarified her misunderstanding of Darcy. She recalled her feelings for Darcy and said? The development is very slow, and I can't tell when it started, but I think it should start with seeing his beautiful manor in Pemberley. ? That's true.
For individuals and groups, the biggest shortcoming of the countryside described in Austin's novels is narrow-mindedness, which can be made up by spacious libraries. Darcy's charming library represents the fine qualities of many contemporary ideal life partners. These qualities can make people compete with all kinds of extremism in contemporary society, such as magnanimity in the era when identity politics and narrow partisan struggles prevailed, persistence in extreme individualism, strong professional ethics in the popularity of shortcut culture, and calmness in the clouds. Maybe there are many advantages in the world that can replace these qualities. But for me, it was these qualities that attracted me to my husband at the beginning, and with the accumulation of time, my love for my husband became stronger and mellow because of them. Needless to say, he also built my own library specially for me, and the books in it can be said to be dazzling.
Romance is not enough.
In the second half of the novel, we know that when Mr. and Mrs. Bennet got married, it was purely absurd and impulsive. When their daughter Lydia (romantic, not cautious) eloped with the scheming Wickham (calculating, not talking about feelings), they made the same mistake again. The sweetness of their honeymoon didn't last long. As soon as Lydia heard that her sister was going to marry Darcy, she begged them to find a job for her husband in the palace, and frankly, we would be unable to make a living without other people's help. ? This tragic situation is very different from the previous affair.
Recently, the Atlantic Monthly conducted a survey on the middle class (roughly equivalent to the Bennett family in Pride and Prejudice), and the result may not surprise Austin: the happiness of married life depends on an unromantic factor, daily chores.
Marriage is not with one person, but with a big family.
According to a survey conducted by Glamour magazine in the issue of 1 1, most of the men who participated in the survey said that their criterion for measuring a woman is her family. This universally acknowledged truth has also become one of the biggest obstacles between Elizabeth and Darcy. Darcy's proposal was rejected (? The most disgraceful proposal in literary history? ) I didn't mention this until I wrote the explanation letter. Darcy wrote in his letter that he opposed his friend Bingley's marriage to Elizabeth's sister Jane because? Your family is completely out of control. Your mother and three sisters have been doing a lot of disgraceful things, and sometimes even your father is inevitable. Please forgive me for being so outspoken, which actually offended you and made me feel painful. ? This really offended Elizabeth, but only at the beginning. Elizabeth restrained her arrogance and felt that what Darcy said was not unreasonable.
Of course, these dissatisfaction with each other's families eventually vanished, and the two finally got married. However, Darcy is very clever. He realized very early that his marriage is related to the other's whole family. In order to better adapt to the reality, he also tried to understand the situation and make full preparations. Indeed, after many years of marriage, my? (hero and heroine) live happily ever after? It has gradually become a big family including the elderly. Anyone who doesn't believe that marriage is a relationship with a big family should talk to someone in my husband's situation.
Missed communication = wrong communication
In other words, silence is complacency. Elizabeth's sister Jane and Mr. Bingley almost failed, mainly because neither of them confessed to the other. Natural reticence is not a disadvantage (such as Darcy), but if it means letting important people or things in life slip away, it must be overcome.
Sometimes, we think we have made it clear enough, but the actual effect is not so ideal. Experts specially named this tendency: signal exaggeration tendency. Motivational psychologist Heidi? Grant. Heidi Grant halvorsen wrote, "Usually, we think we say more than we actually say. so this is it？ What is the most easily misunderstood reason in all interpersonal communication? Because? People often don't realize that they haven't said anything at all. ? At this point, I don't think my marriage is an exception, or that married couples often communicate. It can be said that this comrade's tendency to exaggerate signals is very serious. The relationship between Jane and Bingley and the misunderstanding between them deserve our reflection on the problems in our daily communication.
There is no single marriage model.
Just like Noah at the beginning of the year? According to Noah Bratsky, what Pride and Prejudice teaches us is more subtle and difficult to understand, but it is quite important. When Elizabeth's best friend Charlotte. Lucas married pastor Collins, a snobbish snob, before Elizabeth resolutely refused. It is conceivable that Elizabeth was quite disappointed with Charlotte's decision. But of course? Choice? The significance of the novel can be ignored, because the most important social problem in the world described in the novel is that women have no choice at all.
The book explains that? Generally, young women with poor family background and equivalent education always regard marriage as the only decent way out. Although marriage may not make people happy, I finally arranged the most reliable storage room for myself, so I won't be hungry and cold again. ? Elizabeth gradually realized that this so-called? Storage room? Charlotte married Collins and got it. ? She is twenty-seven years old and has not been marked. This storage room will definitely make her feel extremely lucky. ? Later, Elizabeth visited the newly married couple's home, and she found that Charlotte had fully figured out her choice. Charlotte's new home is full of. Very comfortable atmosphere? Elizabeth can see that she is very? Satisfied and? Do you like it? .
Elizabeth won't and never made the same choice (if she did, she wouldn't be our heroine! )。 However, although Elizabeth and Charlotte are very close, they are not the same. Similarly, no two marriages in the world are exactly the same. There is absolutely no need to be uniform: if you try to impose a universal model on all marriages, the consequences will be unimaginable. For example, a couple I know are members of a conservative religious group. In the first ten years of their marriage, they played their respective roles according to the expectations of this religious group, and the result was very bad. Finally, the woman began to work full-time and the man took care of the children at home. After that, their lives became more harmonious and stable than before.
The best marriage is the harmony between reason and sensibility.
Have you ever seen a couple who only talk about feelings and don't talk about rationality (or don't require the other person to have a good personal experience or health insurance)? Or conversely, for this couple, love means never saying that the mortgage is overdue. I think we have all seen or even experienced this relationship in which sensibility or reason prevails.
In Pride and Prejudice, Lydia's marriage is purely emotional, while Charlotte's marriage is rational. Marriage has always been her goal? , although she? For marriage and husband and wife life, the valuation is not very high. ? The ideal marriage praised by the novel is the perfect harmony between reason and sensibility, reason and emotion. The combination of Jane and Bingley falls into this category, although both of them are not as intelligent and emotional as Elizabeth and Darcy.
There is no doubt that the combination of Elizabeth and Darcy is a model of marriage in the novel. The combination of these two people can be awarded the double laurels of romance and reason. Both mind and heart will agree that this is the perfect combination of Austin and many readers' ideal world.
Golden wedding will make both sides grow together.
Although Elizabeth and Darcy are very matched in IQ and EQ, they both experienced painful regrets, admitted their mistakes, broadened their horizons and put themselves in their shoes before they were qualified to have this marriage. Although the novel, like the ending of a classic comedy, makes them finally get married, we know very well that each of them has a strong opinion and personality, so we can imagine that their marriage life will be bumpy. However, we are also quite sure that Elizabeth and Darcy want some tofu, and everything has its vanquisher. Their marriage has taught us the best lesson: choose the right person, and the right marriage will make you grow.
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