Principles of modern social etiquette
In social occasions, how to use social etiquette, how to play its due role and how to create the best interpersonal relationship state are closely related to observing etiquette principles.
Sincerely respect the principle
Socrates once said: "Don't get friends by giving gifts, you must contribute your sincere love and learn how to win a person's heart by proper methods." It can be seen that sincere respect is the first principle of etiquette in dealing with people. Only by treating talents sincerely can we respect others. Only sincere respect can create harmonious and happy interpersonal relationships, and sincerity and respect complement each other.
Sincerity is a realistic attitude towards people and things, and it is a manifestation of sincerity and friendship towards others. Sincerity and respect are first manifested in not lying, not hypocrisy, not cheating and not insulting people. The so-called "derailment once, no friends for life"; Secondly, it is manifested in correctly understanding others, trusting and respecting others. The so-called selfless heart and sincere dedication will have fruitful results. Only sincere respect can make the two sides soul mate and their friendship last forever.
Of course, sincere respect is very important, but in social situations, sincerity and respect are also manifested in many misunderstandings. One is to pour out all your sincerity blindly in social situations, even regardless of the object; One is that no matter whether the other party can accept it or not, anyone who disagrees or doesn't like it will blindly resist rejection or even attack. It is not good to fall into such a misunderstanding in social situations. Therefore, in social interaction, we must pay attention to some concrete manifestations of sincerity and respect. When you pour out your heartfelt words, it depends on whether the other person can really pour out his heartfelt words. If the other person doesn't like to hear your sincere voice at all, then you will live in vain. In addition, if you don't like or agree with the other person's views or clothes, you don't have to criticize him tit for tat, let alone laugh at or attack him. You can ask questions tactfully or express them moderately or simply avoid them. Some people think this is hypocritical, which is wrong. It is a sign of respect for others, and naturally it is also a sign of courtesy and sincerity. Just like at the negotiating table, even if the other person is your opponent, you should be polite and show respect for others. This is not only a sign of politeness, but also a sign of defeating each other psychologically. To show your sincerity and respect, in social occasions, remember three points: give others the opportunity to fully show, show their greatest enthusiasm to others, and always leave room for each other.
Principle of equality and moderation
In social situations, etiquette behavior is always manifested in both sides. You give a gift to the other person, and the other person will naturally return it to you. The implementation of this etiquette must pay attention to the principle of equality. Equality is the foundation of building emotions when people communicate with each other, and it is also the key to maintaining good interpersonal relationships. In communication, equality is manifested in not being arrogant and impetuous, not going its own way, not being self-righteous, not favoring one side over another, not being arrogant and impetuous, not judging people by their appearances, and not bullying others by their occupation, status and power. On the contrary, we should always treat others with equality and humility. Only in this way can we make more friends.
The principle of moderation refers to grasping the discretion in communication and exercising the corresponding etiquette according to the specific situation and situation. For example, when dealing with people, be polite and not condescending; Be warm and generous, but don't be frivolous and flattering; Self-esteem is not conceited; Honest but not rude; Trust people but not credulous; Lively but not frivolous; Modest but not stiff; Be sophisticated and prudent, but not sophisticated.
Principle of self-confidence and self-discipline
The principle of self-confidence is a principle of mental health in social situations. Only when you have confidence in yourself can you feel like a duck to water and be handy. Self-confidence is a valuable psychological quality in social situations. A self-confident person can be humble and generous in communication, not ashamed when encountering the strong, not discouraged when encountering difficulties, dare to stand up and fight back when encountering insults, and lend a helping hand when encountering the weak; A person who lacks self-confidence will hit a wall everywhere, even out of the water.
People who are confident but not conceited, who think they are great and always confident tend to go to the extreme of conceit, self-righteous, disrespectful and even force others to do everything. So how to eliminate conceited inferiority in interpersonal communication? The principle of self-discipline is another principle to correctly handle self-confidence and conceit. Self-discipline is the principle of self-discipline. In the process of social communication, we should establish an internal moral belief and behavior development criterion in our hearts, so as to restrain our behavior, be strict with ourselves, realize self-education and self-management, and set the balance of self-confidence, so that we don't have to be afraid of wolves before and tigers after, and we can't be self-righteous and conceited in everything.
Principle of credit tolerance
Credit is the principle of paying attention to credibility. Confucius once said, "People can't stand without faith, so make friends and keep promises." Emphasis is placed on the principle of keeping promises. Honesty is the virtue of our Chinese nation. In social situations, we should pay special attention to punctuality, appointments, meetings, talks, meetings, etc. Never delay being late. The second is to keep the promise, that is, the agreement and agreement signed with others, and the verbal promise to others must be done. The so-called words must be done, and actions must be fruitful. Therefore, in social situations, if you are not sure, don't promise others easily. If you can't make a promise, you will fall into the notoriety of breaking your promise and never be loyal to others.
The principle of tolerance is the principle of being kind to others. In social situations, tolerance is a higher realm. The definition of tolerance in the Encyclopedia Britannica is: "Tolerance means allowing others the freedom to act and judge, and being patient and fair with opinions different from their own or traditional views."
Tolerance is a great thought of human beings. In interpersonal communication, tolerance is the magic weapon to create harmonious interpersonal relationships. Be tolerant, understanding and considerate of others, and never seek perfection, haggle over every ounce, or even be aggressive. In a word, considering everything from the other side is the best way to win friends.
convention
As the saying goes, "courtesy is light and affection is heavy." Giving gifts to each other when necessary is part of public relations activities.
Pay attention to the time when giving gifts, grasp the opportunity and timing, and it is best to give gifts at the traditional time. The traditional gift-giving time is as follows:
First, traditional festivals or major anniversaries. Traditional festivals in China, such as Spring Festival, Lantern Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and New Year's Day. May 1 day, June 1 day, July 1 day,1month1day and other major anniversaries.
Second, the factory celebration, school celebration, etc. Giving gifts to each other on such a day can express a person's blessing.
Third, the birthday of the elderly or the birthday of the children.
Fourth, some meaningful activities. Such as: staff meeting, get-together, commendation meeting and so on.
Pay attention to the choice of gifts when giving gifts. The choice of gifts should be based on the specific situation or occasion. For example, you can send some candy or toys to children and some birthday cakes or health products to the elderly. Send some food, flowers, etc. For patients; Some flower baskets and bouquets can be sent to factory celebrations, cocktail parties and receptions; Every new year and Christmas, you can send calendars, cigarettes, wine, sugar, tea and so on. When you are on a business trip or come back from other places, you can send some local specialties in time, such as preserved fruits in Beijing, raisins in Xinjiang and coastal seafood.
Pay attention to the way of giving gifts. Gifts should be wrapped in gift paper. Gifts are usually delivered in person, but people can deliver them to their homes or mail them, such as celebrating festivals and sending new year's goods.
Contemporary popular flower language. Sending flowers has gradually become a fashion, and associated with it, it has also formed an internationally recognized flower language, that is, the meaning represented by various flowers. For example, roses represent love, violets represent honesty and simplicity, white chrysanthemums represent truth, white mulberries represent wisdom, pines and cypresses represent strength and greatness, bamboo represents modesty and integrity, olives represent peace, lilies represent nobility, carnations represent mothers, peonies represent wealth, tussahs represent overcoming difficulties, and evergreen trees represent eternal friendship. So when sending flowers, you can send different bouquets according to the specific situation. If you visit a patient, make a bouquet of red poppies and wild lilies to express your wish for his early recovery; When encouraging others, birds don't stay overnight, and cloves and dodders are often used to form bouquets, indicating that you are willing to succeed; When seeing relatives and friends off, people usually use bouquets of pine branches and rouge flowers to show that friendship lasts forever.
Etiquette in business communication
In modern commodity economy and market economy, business communication is commonplace, so each of us should know and learn some etiquette knowledge in business communication. However, the business activities are extremely rich in content and involve a wide range. There is a lot of etiquette knowledge in business activities, and each country also has its own special etiquette requirements. Therefore, we can't talk about everything. Here is only a brief introduction to some common, most commonly used and internationally accepted etiquette knowledge.
First, in the initial business activities, we must get to know each other deeply. The business dealings mentioned here do not refer to general commercial retail activities, but refer to the buying and selling activities of wholesalers and sellers, shopping malls, shops and commercial companies, production enterprises or companies in their business activities. There are many ways to understand, such as talking, asking, investigating, looking for relevant information, on-the-spot investigation, and inquiring through relevant departments. Through these methods, we can master the other party's current operating conditions, reputation, geographical location, traffic conditions, development potential, development laws and so on. For merchants, we should also pay special attention to the quality, variety, cost and quantity of manufacturers' products. Some people think that business activities are cash on delivery, and there is no etiquette. This kind of understanding is superficial because of the ignorance of etiquette. In fact, in large-scale commercial activities, the translocation of money and goods is not carried out at the same time, and there is still a big time lag between them. Even if the currency and commodities are translocated at the same time, the buying and selling of commodities is essentially the exchange of human behavior, the exchange of the behavior of the parties and the exchange of labor. Therefore, it is essential to reflect the various relationships between people, so it is necessary to achieve mutual understanding, mutual respect, equality and mutual benefit, which is essentially the requirement of etiquette.
Second, in business negotiations, we must act according to the rules and never get emotional. Some people think that they are introduced by people they know, people they know, or old colleagues, subordinates, superiors, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, villagers, or people they are familiar with, so they are responsive, full of promises, embarrassed to refuse, embarrassed to put forward some conditions, and even more embarrassed to put forward things like signing contracts. These are all emotional expressions. All the substantive contents involved in business negotiation must proceed from the reality of business activities, and we should do whatever we should. We can't accommodate, we can't simply do it, and we can't save trouble and simplify procedures. Be prepared before the negotiation, and the relevant information should be complete. On some key issues, we must think again and again, and the details cannot be ignored. In business activities, don't worship foreign things, don't believe in rhetoric. Everything is based on facts and carried out according to law.
Third, in the course of business, we must act according to the contract and keep our promises. If there is a major emergency and the contract must be changed, it is necessary to negotiate with the other party in advance and obtain the consent of the other party. It is best to have written materials or words as the basis. Reputation is the core of business activities, and it is also the focus of etiquette cultivation in business communication. Commercial activities without credibility can only be a one-shot deal, and this hammer alone is likely to be a fatal failure. Establish the concept that credibility is above all else, and would rather lose money than stick to credibility. As long as the credibility exists, it will be lost this time, and it may be earned back next time, or even more. If you lose your credibility, you can't re-establish it in a short time. Therefore, credibility in business activities is more important than making money.
Fourth, time must be strictly observed in business activities. When conducting business negotiations, you must arrive at the negotiation place on time according to the time agreed in advance. This is a matter of every second, and we should not be careless. In real economic life, there are many such situations. It was because of the delay of a few minutes that someone else stole a lot of business. In the course of business, we must adhere to the concept of time, strictly observe when to deliver and when to pay in accordance with the contract, and cannot delay for any reason. In case of special circumstances, the goods or payment will be delayed for several days, and we must take the initiative to ask for a fine or compensation according to the contract.
Fifth, civilized business is another important issue in business activities. Of course, civilized business can be divided into broad sense and narrow sense. The broad sense includes a wide range of contents, mainly referring to the narrow sense, that is, elegant behavior, civilized behavior and appropriate language. A few years ago, there was a news in the newspaper that the director of a township enterprise had a deal with a foreign businessman. The business was basically settled. However, because the factory director spit casually in front of the foreign businessmen, the foreign businessmen immediately demanded to terminate the negotiations, and a good business was finally ruined because of one mouthful of phlegm. Our China people's habit of spitting and littering is very bad, which is detrimental to the image of our Chinese nation and should be overcome and corrected in business activities and daily life.
Etiquette knowledge of calling.
With the rapid development of China's economy and the continuous improvement of people's living standards, the amount of information in the market economy has surged, the competition has become more and more fierce, the pace of people's life has accelerated, and telephones have entered thousands of households. Making full use of this modern communication equipment is of great benefit to economic development and the improvement of people's quality of life. Therefore, everyone should learn to use the telephone skillfully and contact people from all walks of life politely and civilly, which requires understanding general etiquette knowledge and call rules.
First, when you call someone, you should be prepared in advance and think about what you want to say. For example, if you want to talk about a business, where to start, how to talk about it, and to what extent, you should also estimate the situation of the other party and consider contingency methods, so as to achieve the expected goal in the shortest time and not waste the other party's time.
Second, talking on the phone is no different from talking at ordinary times. As far as general telephone facilities are concerned, although both sides can only hear the sound but can't see the image, both sides can feel it. So when you make a phone call, you should also smile, have a gentle and slow tone, speak clearly and concisely, say "hello" in the first sentence, and then go straight to the point. When making a phone call on behalf of a unit or company, it is necessary to clarify the intention and purpose of the leader, or what specific requirements and hopes the factory director, manager, director and secretary have. Finally, confirm the important content, or record it if necessary, and then end the call.
Third, hold the phone gently. In general, you should wait for the other person to put down the phone first, and then hang up the phone gently. Especially after talking to elders, leaders and ladies, you must wait for them to hang up before you gently put down the receiver.
Fourth, when answering the phone, say "hello" in a gentle tone first, and then ask who is calling? Looking for who? Or a unit? If the person you are looking for happens to be out, explain the situation and ask what is important, whether to convey it or leave a note, etc.
Fifth, under normal circumstances, the phone will be connected immediately after ringing three times, and the receiver will be picked up between rings. If the phone rings several times and is connected, you should say "sorry for waiting" and "sorry" first. If there is something urgent in the process of answering the phone, say to the other party, "I'm sorry!" " Wait a minute ",and then you can hold the microphone with your hand to avoid passing it to the other party. Don't shout when the phone is unclear. Speak slowly. Some people make a phone call, and when they can't hear clearly or there is noise, they beat their mobile phones hard with their hands. This is a bad practice and habit. If there is something wrong with the phone, they can fix it immediately and call again after the fault is eliminated. Say goodbye and thank you at the end of the call.
Table manners
First, the etiquette of sitting. Ask the guests to sit down first, then ask the old man to sit next to the guests, sit down in turn, and finally sit in the seat closest to the door. If you take care of children, sit down and arrange them next to you. When you sit down, you should enter from the left side of the chair. Sit up straight and don't bow your head after sitting down, so that the distance between the dining table and your body is 10 ~ 20 cm. Don't move chopsticks after sitting down, let alone make any noise, let alone get up and walk. If anything happens, you should say hello to the host. Before moving chopsticks, you should express your appreciation for the superb skills, thoughtful arrangement and warm invitation of the host or chef.
Second, when eating, please ask guests and elders to move chopsticks first, add less vegetables at a time, eat less vegetables far away from you, and don't make any noise when eating, and don't make any noise when drinking soup. It's better to sip it with a spoon instead of holding the bowl to your mouth. Drink the soup after it is too hot. Don't blow it while drinking. Some people like to chew food hard when eating, especially crunchy food, making a crisp sound. This is against the etiquette requirements, especially when eating with others, try to prevent this phenomenon. When some people drink soup, they will blow hard with their mouths and make a nagging sound, which is also not in line with the etiquette requirements.
Third, don't burp and make other noises when eating. If there are involuntary noises such as sneezing and bowel sounds, you should apologize by saying "I'm sorry", "I'm sorry" and "Please forgive me".
Fourth, if you want to serve food to guests or elders, you'd better use public chopsticks, or you can send the food to places far away from them. According to our Chinese custom, dishes are served one by one. If there are leaders, old people and guests at the same table, whenever a new dish is served, please ask them to move chopsticks first, or take turns asking them to move chopsticks first to show respect and attention.
Fifth, when eating fish heads, fishbones, bones, etc. Don't spit or throw it on the ground. Take them slowly to your plate, or put them next to your dining table, or put them on prepared paper.
Sixth, we should take time to chat with people around us in time to reconcile the atmosphere. Don't eat with your head down, ignore others, don't wolf down a meal, and don't drink too much.
Seventh, it is best not to pick your teeth at the dinner table. If you want to pick your teeth, you should cover your mouth with a napkin
Eighth, we should make clear the main task of this meal. Nowadays, business is surging, and many businesses are negotiated at the dinner table. So it is necessary to be clear whether to talk about business, contact feelings or eat. If it is the former, pay attention when arranging seats, and put the seats of the main negotiators close to each other to facilitate conversation or ease emotions; If it is the latter, just pay attention to common sense etiquette. Focus on appreciating the dishes.
Ninth, when you finally leave the table, you must thank your host, or invite your host to your home at this time to show your gratitude.
In short, dining with guests, elders and others should make them feel relaxed, happy and harmonious. In ancient China, there were so-called standing, sitting, eating and sleeping. The dining etiquette mentioned here refers to eating. To make eating elegant is not only in line with the requirements of etiquette, but also conducive to the inheritance and development of China's food culture.
Etiquette and art of male-female communication
In the communication between men and women of the opposite sex, the first problem is to have a normal mentality. Communicating with older members of the opposite sex is like being your own teacher, brother and sister. Communicating with the opposite sex of the same age is like being your classmate, colleague, comrade-in-arms, brother and sister; Associating with young people of the opposite sex is like your brothers and sisters. No matter what kind of communication with the opposite sex, you should be generous, natural, polite and enthusiastic. Some people are cautious when dealing with the opposite sex, some people are indifferent when dealing with the opposite sex, and some people are too enthusiastic when dealing with the opposite sex. These are inappropriate, not in line with the cultural traditions and habits of our Chinese nation, and not in line with the requirements of modern international etiquette. What should I do? The following is a brief description in two aspects.
Lady's etiquette cultivation
First, women should be solemn and calm, and must not be frivolous and casual. This is the characteristic of educated and knowledgeable women, and it is also the requirement of etiquette cultivation. It is absolutely necessary no matter what kind of man you associate with. Some women meet men, no matter for what purpose, they should not be allowed to talk, dance and be very happy.
Second, it is better for women to communicate with men within appropriate limits. The appropriate limit mentioned here refers to mastering a certain degree, and it is better to be appropriate, not too enthusiastic and not too cold. Even familiar people, or close people, should not show intimacy when communicating in public, let alone give others a feeling of intimacy, so as not to give others an illusion and leave an irreparable bad impression.
Third, it is natural for women to be taken care of by men, but we must think thoroughly and clearly, find out whether men are polite or have other intentions, and then deal with them appropriately according to the specific situation.
Fourth, women should respect themselves, be aboveboard and strive for self-improvement. You can't be picky at work, choose light and fear heavy, and casually push heavy work to men, which will make men disgusted. Women should not easily add trouble or burden to men, and should not casually accept men's invitations or dates. Generally speaking, you shouldn't eat with men casually, let alone let men pay for dinner. As the saying goes, delicious food is difficult to digest, so beware of bad consequences.
Fifth, we must distinguish between public and private. In the office, you should concentrate on official business during working hours, and don't deal with private affairs at work, especially when discussing private affairs with men in public. We should constantly improve our own quality, cultivate professionalism and sense of responsibility, communicate with reliable men, learn from each other and learn from each other's strengths.
Sixth, young women, or female students in colleges and universities, should keep their age characteristics, that is, simple, natural, generous and lively nature, and avoid fraud and posturing. Some young women like to dress up beautifully, and when they associate with the opposite sex, they show affectation and coquetry. Honest people hate this practice. Some female students dress themselves up as ladies, which is out of proportion to their own status and gives people the feeling of being sophisticated and smooth. This is not desirable.