Recently, a friend asked me a question. She asked me what advice I would give to myself in my twenties if I could travel back in time. Without thinking, I replied that I had two suggestions for myself at that time, one was to encourage myself and the other was to remind myself.
On the one hand, I will tell my young self that you are smart, witty and diligent. On the whole, you are a very good girl. So, if someone hits you, don't be influenced by him, let alone by him. Go ahead and take the road you think is right. On the other hand, I have to tell myself the unfortunate fact that you still know nothing about the important things in life.
When I was young, I inevitably felt that I knew everything and didn't realize my ignorance. It is difficult for people to understand youth when they are young. Only when they have gone through youth can they know youth. In later life, when you experience something, you will gradually realize what love is, how to maintain marriage, how to treat work, how to raise children, how to cheer up after repeated setbacks and failures, and how to succeed with perseverance. You will also gradually understand which aspects of life are important to you.
I remember when I was in my twenties, I often heard my elders advise me not to ponder what kind of scenery title to put on your business card in the future when your life is blank and your work is just starting. But I didn't take these suggestions to heart at that time. I just hoped that I would mature and plump my wings as soon as possible. Looking back now, I am really ashamed of my original conceit and vanity. In fact, I was like a cake that needed careful baking at that time. Longing for success will only backfire or go astray.
Growth requires patience and enthusiasm.
From the beginning to the end of our life, there will naturally be many feelings along the way. But most of the harvest comes not from the classroom or library, but from the laboratory of life.
When we look back on the past, many clear images will come to our eyes ―― betrayal of friends, progress or stranding in career, misguided confusion, beautiful mistakes and rash views. However, many ideas are obviously only a hindsight. For example, when our children grow up, they finally know how to raise them; When we have come a long way in our career, we realize that those plans that we thought could not be changed at first can actually be adjusted. And these wisdom, we couldn't understand at that time, only after passing through, can we go back and deepen our understanding of ourselves and have a clearer understanding of life.
It's hard to understand without walking.
Maybe that's why we always like to give advice to people who haven't come yet. Although these suggestions are tempered by our failures, victories and boring life experiences, in their view, we are saying things they don't understand in a language they don't understand at all.
So we finally understand that no one can fully understand this moment at this moment. Only by walking a few more steps can we see the way when we come. Gradually, we also realize that in our own lives, what is crucial and what is irrelevant. We get these revelations not from the wealth we have, but from the people we love.
Failure teaches us more than success.
I will tell myself in my twenties that after that age, you will know that the most lasting charm in life is some ordinary things-the whole family getting together for dinner, fair competition among peers, telephone calls and friends. Maybe these are too common to attract my attention at that time. However, the reason why my former self did not accept this idea is not because I am not alone with my former self, but because there is still a life experience between them. With the passage of time and continuous exploration, I finally understand who I am today, which is really a miracle.
So, if you knew me before, you might forgive me now; If you know me now, you may forgive me.