1. Basic information of inquirer and chief complainant Cheng Mou, male, a freshman in a university, has a strong sense of loneliness and inferiority, and can't communicate with his classmates normally. He is timid and trembling when he speaks. I saw others talking about Kan Kan, but I didn't know it, so I fell silent, lest I should be laughed at for saying something wrong. Because of introversion and inferiority, I am particularly suspicious, pay great attention to other people's every move, think that some unintentional actions of others are a great insult to myself, and always be vigilant. I am afraid that others will see my ignorance and inferiority, which will lead to poor interpersonal communication. 2. The diagnosis process is in adolescence, which is the period when self-awareness begins to awaken and gradually establish. Teenagers in this period gradually discovered the psychological differences with their peers, so they had the need to understand the inner world of others and be accepted by other peers. They pay great attention to their position and image in the eyes of others, care about other people's evaluation and want to hide themselves. On the one hand, I feel lonely; On the one hand, I hope to find a close friend to listen to my heart, but at the same time I am afraid that I will be "seen through" by others, and that others will know some of their feelings and will be suspicious. As Cheng said, "Pay attention to details, pay special attention to each other's every move, and think that some words and deeds of the other party are an insult to yourself." However, what he reflects is either the locking psychology of keeping secrets in his heart or the exchange psychology of wanting to exchange his secrets for others'. If some of his needs are not met, he will be distressed and depressed, and he will easily feel lonely because he is forgotten by others. So it is common for him to be suspicious and lonely. But if it is too strong, it will affect work and study. The reason is that I spent most of my time studying in high school, and many things were handled by my parents. Interpersonal relationship was originally simple, but the types and communication methods of interpersonal relationship have changed since entering the university. As a freshman, it is difficult to change at once, and naturally it needs an adaptation process. (1) environmental adaptation. Mainly interpersonal environment. Because the students in the dormitory come from all corners of the country and have different eating habits and beliefs, it is probably not suitable for them. Differences exist objectively, so we should face them with a positive attitude and adapt to them. First of all, it must be accepted that everyone has his own living habits and value system. Secondly, when other people's lifestyles interfere with their own lives, we should put forward our own opinions euphemistically and make appropriate self-adjustment. (2) adapt to life. Accommodation is a major feature of universities. Before, I always didn't care much about things in life. After I went to college, I did a series of things by myself, which required me to cultivate my self-care ability and good living habits. (3) Adaptation to learning. After entering the university, the teaching system and teaching methods have changed greatly, which requires an adaptation process, otherwise it will directly affect learning. First, we should adapt to the learning atmosphere, and then adjust the learning methods. (4) Psychological adaptation. Adaptation to environment, life and study is very important, but the most important thing is psychological adaptation. Many college students are outstanding in middle school, they are good students of teachers, the envy of classmates, the favorite of parents, and the center and gravity of life. The criteria for evaluating people in universities are not single. In addition to academic performance, ability and specialty are also important factors to measure a person's level, which has shaken some people's understanding and evaluation of themselves. Self-regulation is the best way to improve psychology, and the adaptation stage of admission is successfully completed. With the awakening and establishment of self-awareness, individuals often evaluate themselves. Cheng's self-evaluation of "nothing, nothing" is somewhat low. In fact, being able to pass the college entrance examination and stand out from it is enough to show its level and ability. We should know ourselves, affirm ourselves, accept ourselves, and don't completely deny ourselves because of temporary setbacks. Everyone has his own strengths and weaknesses. Why can't you see and find his own strengths, and always think that nothing will happen and everything will go wrong? Never form the wrong communication mode of "I can't-you can, I'm not good-hello" and think you are incompetent and stupid. Always use "I can't, I won't" as an excuse to shirk and evade responsibility, and bravely stand up and say "I can, I'll try". "A single spark can start a prairie fire", from a little affirmation of oneself, can develop into a comprehensive understanding and affirmation of oneself, without staying in the fog of inferiority. It is suggested that everyone is eager to be in a good interpersonal relationship. As long as young people follow some principles, they can make more friends and gain precious friendship. (1) interaction principle. In daily life, people generally have a tendency to seek self-worth and emotional security, hoping that others will recognize their own value and show their support, acceptance and love. But paying too much attention to yourself often ignores the feelings and emotions of the other party, which will make interpersonal communication encounter obstacles. Only interpersonal relationships based on mutual concern and support can be consolidated. Usually, the premise that others like us is that we also like them and recognize their value. "Love, people love; Respect others, and people will always respect them. In interpersonal communication, we should actively approach them and accept them warmly in order to get along well with others. (2) the principle of sincerity. Sincerity is a bridge for smooth communication between people. Only by mutual understanding and sincere treatment can we understand and trust each other, and then form a profound friendship. If you don't look forward to your friends, you will never get true friendship. True friends should help each other, ask for nothing in return, express their opinions on different points of view, and don't mean what they say. Point out your friends' shortcomings and shortcomings in person. (3) Respect the principle. Successful interpersonal communication must be based on mutual respect. Only by respecting others can we arouse their trust and sincerity and shorten their psychological distance. As Xunzi said, "Being kind to others is warmth; A person who doesn't know how to respect others can only lead to the deterioration of interpersonal tension and may lead to conflicts. (4) the principle of tolerance. Learning to be tolerant will make people look at and treat misunderstandings and conflicts in interpersonal communication wisely and maintain a healthy mentality. Due to the different backgrounds such as economy, birth, experience and education, all kinds of people have formed. Only by being as tolerant as possible and facing up to differences can we dilute contradictions. Tolerance doesn't mean that you don't speak principles and don't distinguish right from wrong. You can accommodate others to questions that are not principled. If they contradict your own principles, you should stick to them without hurting others' self-esteem. Everything has a process, and so does interpersonal communication. Don't rush for success. There are several steps to establish a good interpersonal relationship: (1) Know yourself and evaluate yourself correctly. As the saying goes, "the hardest thing for people to know is themselves." People can't observe their words, deeds and image positively, but only get feedback from others' reactions. If the feedback is incorrect, it is easy to form a misunderstanding of "wrong evaluation". Only by facing up to yourself can we get good interpersonal relationships. (2) Adjust expectations and express yourself appropriately. Expectations are too high or too low, and it is difficult to get a successful experience. We should choose some goals within our power to work hard. After expressing your talents properly, you will be affirmed by others, and then you will find your inner potential, and you will be confident and enterprising step by step to achieve greater success. Therefore, we should narrow the gap between ideal and reality and express ourselves correctly. (3) Start by making a good friend. With the increasing number of friends, it is easy for a friend to communicate more intimately, communicate more frankly and help each other more sincerely. So it is wise to start with a good friend. (4) Face up to the shortcomings and actively supplement yourself. Everyone has success and failure, and the experience of failure is like a shadow, which can't be waved away, thus affecting emotions. " All roads lead to Rome. As long as you have enough confidence, you can conquer the world. Of course, this requires the accumulation of knowledge. There are many ways to acquire knowledge now, such as reading books, reading newspapers, listening to the radio and surfing the Internet ... After continuous accumulation, the knowledge will naturally be broadened. Interpersonal communication needs sincerity, enthusiasm, equality, frankness and generosity. It is a communication between people and an art that requires courage and wisdom, and the scale to be mastered needs to be carefully understood in practice. 4. Summary With the awakening and establishment of teenagers' self-awareness, individuals often evaluate themselves. If the self-evaluation is too low, it is easy to have inferiority complex. Too concerned about other people's comments, suspicious, worried about image damage. Show timidity and shyness in front of others, suppress words and deeds, and be afraid to expose your weaknesses. Just when Cheng showed a series of symptoms. This locking psychology will naturally affect communication with others. Therefore, people with a heavy sense of inferiority often lack friends, do not confide in others easily, feel that others are evaluating themselves at any time, and are prone to loneliness. It can be said that inferiority is the crux of a series of problems, thus forming a pattern of inferiority-poor communication-loneliness. Help them analyze the reasons, let them build up self-confidence and realize their own abilities, so as to overcome their inferiority complex. (Reprinted)