On the negative influence of intergenerational education and its countermeasures.
Intergenerational education refers to the upbringing and education of grandparents to their grandchildren, which is a concept relative to parenting education. This way of education enables grandparents who have had the experience of raising children to take good care of their children in all aspects, but the problems it brings will also be presented to us more and more, which will bring many negative effects on the growth and development of children. This paper mainly analyzes the negative effects of intergenerational education on children and puts forward some targeted solutions.
Keywords intergenerational education; Problems; Countermeasures.
First, intergenerational education and its forms.
Intergenerational education refers to the upbringing and education of grandparents to their grandchildren. It is a concept opposite to parenting education and a kind of family education. Due to work pressure, social competition and other factors, more and more young parents give their children to their parents to raise, making intergenerational parenting a natural and common phenomenon in family early childhood education. The society is paying more and more attention to intergenerational education, and the importance of this form of education is beyond doubt. We can make full use of the social experience of our ancestors, not only give full play to their residual heat, but also liberate young parents. However, the disadvantages of intergenerational education cannot be ignored. This paper mainly analyzes its negative effects and puts forward feasible countermeasures to solve this problem step by step.
Intergenerational education can be divided into complete intergenerational education and incomplete intergenerational education. Complete intergenerational education means that parents are separated from their children for a long time, and their children's life and education are entirely borne by their ancestors. This form is mainly in rural areas, because some parents work outside the home all the year round, and their children have to be raised by their ancestors; Incomplete intergenerational education refers to the temporary separation of parents and children. For example, parents in cities are temporarily taken care of by the elderly for work reasons, or grandparents live with their parents to raise their children together. At this time, grandparents will also have a certain influence on children in some ways when they get along with them, so we call it incomplete intergenerational education.
Second, the disadvantages brought by intergenerational education.
It is true that intergenerational education has its reasonable side, such as rich experience in raising children for the elderly, which helps to narrow the scope? Generation gap? Gap, reduce the burden of young parents, etc. However, the author believes that intergenerational education also has many disadvantages, mainly as follows:
(A) easy to lead to excessive doting on children.
Grandparents will spoil their children more than their parents and will do everything tirelessly for them. Old people will try their best to meet their children's excessive demands. This kind of overindulgence will cause many problems.
1. Life: All the problems in life are arranged by grandparents. Children don't need to consider any problems, just wait for enjoyment, resulting in less common sense of life and poor self-care ability; Excessive satisfaction of children's material needs, excessive inhalation of nutrients, poor physical fitness and less exercise make children's physical fitness poor. With the passage of time, people will become more and more aware of the influence of physical quality on study, life, work and even personality.
2. Ability: On the one hand, children have poor frustration ability and poor problem-solving ability. Because children are used to their grandparents' parents listening to their own opinions in everything, when they leave home and face different opinions from themselves, they often feel at a loss and complain about others instead of thinking and seeking solutions to problems; On the other hand, doting leads to poor independence of children. Children are contracted by grandparents, so they don't need to think and solve problems by themselves. Once they need to face problems alone, they will become helpless.
3. Personality: I am aloof and self-centered. Because in the family, the child is the center, and grandparents turn around him. Once you leave the family and enter the society, it is easy to lead to emotional loss and even go astray after finding that you are not the focus of attention. In addition, doting leads to selfishness, children are used to being taken care of, and there is no concept of caring for others at all. So, although the old people have paid a lot or even all of themselves for their children, it is very likely that they will eventually raise one? Baiwenhang? .
(2) Hinder children's intellectual development.
For the elderly with higher education, the negative impact may be smaller. For the elderly with low education level, the task of educating children is beyond their power. Because they can't keep up with the rhythm of the information age, they don't understand the standards and requirements of modern society for talents, lack the sense of the times ahead, have no strong concept of early education, and have no scientific understanding of the characteristics of children's physical and mental development. They educate their grandchildren with outdated concepts and routines, and experience replaces science in the process of education. They cannot develop children's intelligence correctly, timely and effectively, which leads to the decline of children's education quality.
The most prominent thing is that children are at the most curious stage at this time and will ask all kinds of questions. Some questions, such as common sense of life, are easy to solve, but when children ask about scientific knowledge or other knowledge (such as some questions in 100 thousand why), the elderly may not be able to answer because of their narrow knowledge. At this time, if you don't help your child solve the problem, or rudely criticize your child not to ask so many questions, or make up some answers to mislead your child in a perfunctory way, it is likely to lead to a decrease in your child's enthusiasm, no longer eager for knowledge, no longer curious about the world, no longer innovative about things, and no longer want to explore the secrets of this world. This will stifle children's nature, hinder their intellectual development and have a far-reaching impact on their future. Once the best education period is missed, many problems presented by children will be more difficult to solve.
(3) It is easy to form children's bad habits.
Suhomlinski said:? Every moment, when you see a child, you see yourself; While you are educating your children, you are also educating yourself and testing your personality. ? This shows that parents' words and deeds, lifestyle, behavior habits and value orientation will have a profound impact on children's living habits, labor habits and moral habits.
Children are at the beginning of life, which is the key age to cultivate good behavior habits. However, children of this age group have poor self-control ability. If parents do not pay attention to training, it is easy to develop bad behavior habits, which will cause irreparable defects for the healthy growth of children in the future. In intergenerational education, grandparents' parents have mixed feelings about the cultivation of their children's behavior habits.
Many grandparents' parents, especially the elderly without higher education, have a more worrying negative impact on their children in this respect. For example, some old people have bad behaviors such as spitting and littering, which are likely to be remembered by children, and children have the strongest sense of imitation, so they are likely to take these behaviors as their own learning objects, which has brought great negative effects to children. Not only the influence of living habits, but also the negative influence of value orientation and concept may affect a child's life.
(4) It is easy to cause contradictions in family education.
Grandparents do have certain advantages in educating their grandchildren because of their long-term work experience, rich life experience, a lot of social experience and a lot of experience in educating their children, while their parents have relatively high education level, more modern concepts and more theoretical knowledge in educating their children.
Due to the differences in social experience, education level, background of the times and lifestyle, grandparents and fathers have the differences mentioned above, which leads to many differences and differences in the theory and content, standards, emphasis and specific methods of family education between grandparents and fathers. Without effective communication, it will easily lead to contradictions in family education. In family education, everyone goes his own way. Without a unified educational method, children are at a loss.
Third, the solution.
Childhood is a special period in a person's life. During this period, if children are not well educated at home, it will have a great impact on their physical and mental development, self-awareness and moral awareness and behavior. In order to better play the role of intergenerational education and benefit the healthy growth of the next generation, the author believes that effective measures must be taken in time to solve the problem. The key to solving this problem lies in ancestors. In this regard, the author puts forward some suggestions on how grandparents should carry out intergenerational education:
(1) Change the doting parenting style and love children rationally.
Grandparents should control their feelings with reason, distinguish between love and doting, and love should be moderate. Correct love is conducive to the healthy growth of children and will have a positive impact on their life and personality. To understand the concept that letting go equals love, let children learn to be independent and learn to solve problems on their own, which is more conducive to children's adaptation to society than blindly helping them solve all problems; Strengthen children's socialization education and often take them out to know the world around them, instead of just letting them be flowers that can't see the sun in the greenhouse; Moderate adversity education is also an effective measure to correct the defects of intergenerational education.
(2) Accept new ideas and learn new knowledge.
Grandparents should keep pace with the times, update their views on education, children and the world, organically combine practical experience with theoretical knowledge, and try their best to educate children with modern scientific knowledge, enlighten them, correctly guide them and grow up with them.
Remember not to criticize and use rude words on the questions raised by curious children, but to guide them carefully and patiently. In addition, it is necessary to understand the law of children's physical and mental development, follow this law when raising children, and timely carry out all aspects of education at different ages according to children's needs, so as not to miss the best education period.
(3) Improve quality and set an example.
Because children's good moral character and right and wrong ideas are not accomplished through preaching, but through long-term subtle influence. Therefore, in order to cultivate children's good moral character and behavior habits, grandparents' parents should raise their awareness of observing public morality and pay attention to their exemplary role; Grandparents should be cautious and set an example for their children everywhere; We should cultivate good living habits, guide and educate children with correct views on right and wrong and values, and pay special attention to the details of life, which is also an aspect that should be paid attention to in intergenerational education.
(4) Create a harmonious family environment.
The influence of family environment on children is very profound, which requires not only harmonious communication between grandparents, but also grandparents and parents to discuss parenting experience together, foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, complement each other's advantages and seek the greatest synergy of education; In addition, we should actively create opportunities for children to have more contact with their parents and dredge parent-child feelings. Only when parents and grandparents coordinate, understand and support each other can we create a happy, harmonious and warm family environment for the next generation and let children receive a better education through complementarity.
(5) unify thoughts and standards.
Children's grandparents should be consistent with their parents in parenting goals and tend to converge in methods. In the absence of children, we should make a unified decision in advance, and don't present our differences to the children. We can't ask one child to do this and the other to do it in different ways. This will easily lead children to be at a loss when facing different requirements of their parents, and they don't know what to do right or wrong, which will lead to their own parenting.
(6) Communicate with children in a democratic and equal manner.
Grandparents should communicate with their children more, listen to their inner thoughts and care about their psychological world. Grandparents can't limit their children's right to speak with their own experiences and rich experiences. They can't make decisions or choices instead of their own subjective wishes, but they can't just listen to their children's wishes. Instead, we should communicate with our children more, express our views at the same time, and make the best decision for our children after equal consultation. When children make mistakes, don't criticize or indulge blindly. They should explain clearly to their children where they are wrong and what they should do is right, so that children can truly realize where they are wrong. This kind of communication, on the one hand, is conducive to cultivating children's language expression ability, and then affects children's thinking and intellectual development; On the other hand, it avoids the development of children's self-centered personality, and also makes children more educated by their ancestors.
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Intergenerational education in single-parent families.
I. Introduction
In recent years, with the rising divorce rate, the increase in the number of single-parent children has become a social problem that cannot be ignored. But when it comes to single-parent family education, people often only pay attention to the education of children by single parents, and most of them ignore the intergenerational education between grandparents and grandchildren. With the increasingly fierce social competition, single parents increasingly hand over the responsibility of raising their children to grandparents, so the intergenerational education problem of single-parent families also arises.
Second, the analysis of intergenerational education in single-parent families.
(1) The prosocial behavior is reduced, and it is easy to produce dual personality.
Most children from single-parent separated families show psychological inferiority, emotional fragility, emotional depression and reticence. They are unsociable and obviously lack a sense of security and trust in the outside world. In front of parents and teachers, most of them are usually unsociable, timid and passive to Nuo Nuo, but they are bossy outside, often bullying weak children, and have a tendency to violence, forming a dual personality.
(2) rebellious psychology and aggressive behavior increased.
Most of the children in single-parent separated families have rebellious psychology. Children living in single-parent families are often neglected by their families, and they are always prone to conflict and confrontation with their teachers or parents. Coupled with their poor academic performance, their personal feelings have been suppressed for a long time. However, there is a strong impulse in their personality, and they try to attract others' attention through rebellious behavior, so many behavioral problems are prone to occur.
(3) Negative emotions are obvious and lack of self-confidence.
Most children from single-parent separated families always treat life and study negatively; Fear of difficulties, often give up easily without any effort, lack of self-confidence. If these unhealthy attitudes and behaviors are not corrected in time, over time, single-parent children will have psychological distortions and psychological abnormalities, which will affect their emotional and personality development.
Thirdly, the causes of psychological problems of children from single-parent divorced families are analyzed.
(1) Social cognitive deviation caused by special family environment
Single-parent families have a great negative psychological impact on children. These children have no sense of security, warmth and spiritual support for their families, and their psychology is more fragile than that of ordinary children. They think that their parents put them at their grandparents' home, which shows that they don't care about them and love them, so they feel abandoned. In addition, they often compare their family education with school education, and compare themselves with their peers around them. They always feel that there are many inconsistencies in their study and life, which will lead to psychological imbalance over time.
(2) Lack of normal social environment
Comte pointed out that the family is the cell that constitutes society, and the existence of the family as a primary group is a necessary place for children's socialization. Children from single-parent families are better than children living in single-parent families? Perfect integer? Compared with children in the family, they lack a normal social environment and are more prone to psychological disorders or personality abnormalities. On the one hand, after the family split, the single parent suffered a heavy mental shock, leaving a shadow in his heart and being prone to mood swings; On the other hand, the low quality of grandparents' parents also affects the healthy growth of children to some extent.
(3) improper educational methods
In family education, whether the educational methods are appropriate or not will directly affect the educational effect. In intergenerational education, the elderly always indulge their children, even though they know that it is wrong to do so, most of them hold a tolerant or even laissez-faire attitude. If you spoil too much, the result will often lead to children being self-centered and selfish everywhere. At the same time, grandparents often place too high hopes on their children's development, especially their studies, which will inevitably lead to the child's heavy psychological burden, which will lead to depression, anxiety and negative depression, which is also not conducive to the healthy growth of children's body and mind.
Four. Countermeasures and suggestions
Facing the growing single-parent children, how to heal their psychological trauma, how to make use of the situation in intergenerational education, and seek advantages and avoid disadvantages requires the joint efforts of families, schools and society.
(1) Parents
In order to make single-parent children develop physically and mentally healthily and meet the needs of their personality development and social development, parents must establish a scientific concept of educational development, and the key is to establish a brand-new educational concept that is synchronized with the personality development of single-parent children. At the same time, single parents should strengthen communication and frequent contact with their children and be familiar with their study, thinking and life. Parents of grandparents should be rational and measured in their love for their children, and try to take care of their grandchildren, but don't spoil them, follow the principle of moderation, and achieve Yan Kuan moderation.
(2) school.
On the one hand, schools should care for, help and care for the students from single-parent families in the next generation, on the other hand, they should consider their special psychological characteristics and take effective measures, such as establishing psychological files of children from single-parent families in the next generation, which will help schools to enhance their comprehensive understanding of such students. At the same time, teachers should help children from single-parent families to form correct social cognition and establish correct self-concept.
(3) Social aspects
The public should treat the intergenerational education of single-parent families correctly, eliminate bad discrimination against it, give understanding and proper care to single-parent intergenerational families and their children, let these children get rid of the burden of inferiority, and let their bodies and minds develop harmoniously. At the same time, establish a school for parents of different generations, so that grandparents can learn scientific and correct educational methods. In addition, single parent clubs, grandparents' clubs, single parent hotlines, single parent homes and other psychological counseling organizations can be established to exchange feelings and help each other.
In a word, the psychological activities and behavior habits of children from single-parent families are complex, which requires comprehensive education from schools, society and families, so as to create a normal socialization environment for children from single-parent families and promote their healthy growth.
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