I have been a quiet child since I was a child, probably because I left my parents to live with my grandparents when I was very young. I always seem out of place among a group of children my age.
Children should be lively and active, jump up and down every day and not feel tired. So my quietness is in sharp contrast to their liveliness. Growing up, I heard the most words: "You are a child, don't be bored all day, play more with children and participate in some group activities." Children should look like children. "So I began to try to make myself look less" weird ",try to integrate into small groups of my peers, participate in some group activities, and go out with friends on weekends.
But gradually, I found that I didn't like this kind of life. On weekends, I prefer to stay at home and paint and read books rather than go out with my friends. In group activities, watching them fight with each other, I stand alone in the corner and miss the novels I haven't finished reading in bed.
It took me so long to understand what I wanted. Sometimes I just want to sit quietly in bed and read books that interest me, and sometimes I want to sit on the balcony at home, sniffing the faint jasmine fragrance in the air and drawing some pictures that I feel beautiful; Sometimes I want to sit on the beach dam, blowing a slightly cool sea breeze, listening to some soft and slow light music, watching seagulls hovering or diving on the sea level, emptying my head, and feeling that time has become like a cloud.
There is such a lyric in Zou Ma: "The world has isolated me and let it mock me. I just keep silent and understand what is good and what is bad. " Even if my behavior is very different from what others think is "normal", I don't want to cater to others
In fact, life is not qualitative, and different people have different views. Sometimes I will buy some snacks in the small supermarket downstairs, then slowly stroll upstairs with a heavy food bag on my back, nest on the sofa and watch some idol dramas of dog blood, and then spit out those fragments of Mary Su.
Another philosopher said, "Go your own way and let others talk." This sentence, as my motto, has become my belief when others regard me with special respect.
Throughout his life, how can he live up to the Tathagata and do what he wants most is the most beautiful appearance. My quietness is what I want. I am who I am, the truest me. Handsome without losing the sense of proportion, don't care about other people's eyes, don't be like yourself in others' eyes, follow your heart and be the best yourself.