Others are mirrors of self-reflection, and communication with others is an important source for individuals to gain self-knowledge. We first expanded from the feelings in the family to the friendly relations outside, entered the society and experienced the interests between people. People with self-knowledge can learn from others through these relationships, gain enough experience, and then plan their future according to their own needs. But when comparing yourself with others, we should pay attention to the frame of reference of comparison.
First, are the conditions before the action or the results after the action compared with others? When college students come to university to study, if they think that they are from the countryside and their conditions are inferior to others, they will naturally put themselves in the second place, which will naturally affect their mentality and complex. It is also meaningful to look at their achievements after graduation.
Second, do you compare people by relative standards or absolute standards? Is it a variable standard or a constant standard? There are often college students who think they are inferior to others. In fact, they may be concerned about unchangeable conditions such as figure and family background, and there is no practical significance for comparison.
Third, who is the object of comparison? Is it a person with similar conditions, an idol, or a person who is extremely inferior to himself? Therefore, it is particularly important to establish a reasonable frame of reference and foothold for self-knowledge.
(2) the empirical method-from my relationship with things to know myself.
To know yourself from the relationship with things is to know yourself from the experience of doing things. Ordinary people's achievements, achievements and society through themselves are all a kind of learning, and they will not gain wisdom without doing anything. The value of experience varies from person to person. For smart people who make good use of wisdom, the experience of success and failure can make him succeed again, because they know themselves, have strong personality and are good at learning, so they can avoid repeating the mistakes of failure; For some self-fragile college students, the experience of failure makes them even more failed. This is also the most common phenomenon. Because they can't learn from failure, change their strategies to pursue success, and form fear of failure after frustration, dare not face the reality to deal with difficulties or challenges, and even lose many good opportunities; For a somewhat arrogant person, success may be the source of failure. They may be conceited when they are lucky enough to succeed, and they will bite off more than they can chew in the future. They often fail, or grow up too smoothly and have family relationships. Once they lose the "source of protection", they will be devastated and unable to support their independent selves. Therefore, a college student's self-awareness gained from success or failure experience should also be carefully analyzed and screened.
(3) introspection-know yourself from my relationship with myself.
The ancients said, "Three rescues a day." It seems easy to know yourself from the relationship with yourself, but it is actually very difficult. We can probably know ourselves from the following "I":
A. I am in my eyes. Individuals actually observe me objectively, including figure, appearance, gender, age, occupation, personality, temperament, ability and so on.
B.i am in the eyes of others. When I associate with others, I perceive it through others' attitudes and feelings towards you. People with different relationships have different reactions and evaluations of themselves, which is the apperception summarized by individuals from the reactions of most people to themselves.
C. I in my heart also refers to my expectations of myself, which is my ideal. We can also fully understand ourselves from the actual me, my consciousness in others' eyes and my consciousness in others' hearts. However, for modern college students, although they know a lot about themselves, it is difficult to form a unified self-concept. Due to the rapid changes in modern society and the influence of multiple values after the reform and opening up, it is difficult for college students to understand themselves objectively and comprehensively.