People in China are not easy to communicate, but easy to discuss. Generally speaking, management emphasizes communication and leaders advocate good consultation.
Management pays attention to communication, but you often find that the more you cross the ditch, the more impassable it is. The leader should attach importance to consultation, because he knows that only through good consultation can you get real advice. If you force him to speak, he will say something grandiose.
In fact, whether it is communication or discussion, the ultimate emphasis is on a flexible spirit, and they are all looking for a good way to coordinate and solve things.
Why do people in China like to talk separately? Why do we often answer irrelevant questions and talk about him? You can criticize him for saying that it is a bad habit, but it is not.
Because communication is often imposed on the communication object in order to achieve their own goals, and it is only after finding the same topic and determining the same goal that the discussion begins, and both sides are voluntary; Therefore, attempts to communicate with China people are often blocked, and it is easy to form a situation in which everyone speaks his own words. Because China people are the cleverest, forcing others to accept communication will make China people feel it immediately, so they will close the door and ignore you. Consultation can be accepted by China people because everyone has the same goal and the same topic. It's called counseling.
Therefore, when you talk to a person and he pretends not to hear you when you talk to him, you should quickly think about why he is like this. You should know in your heart that the other party must have his own reasons for doing so, because China people rarely do unreasonable things.
We should discuss, we should have the same goal, we should give in to each other, not you eat me. People in China are most afraid of being eaten by others. Our personalities are soft and hard. In a word-you insist on me and I won't resist, but I will never obey you. On the other hand, as long as we can discuss and lead well, everyone will understand each other.
Why use the word "consider" here? I often ask many supervisors, "How do you talk so that your subordinates will listen?" Many executives replied, "I want them to trust me very much, and then after they trust me, they will listen to me."
In fact, China people will never give up, so they will never be persuaded by you.
A supervisor should not ask your subordinates to appreciate you. If one day your subordinates say to you, "I really admire you, your ability, your courage and your wisdom." The person who said this is definitely an apple polisher. You mustn't listen to him, because what he said is absolutely not true. China people tell the truth like this: "Director, I have many different views with you, but because you take care of me, and I know that you enforce the law impartially and everything is for the public, so I understand your position and cooperate with your work ..." This is a fact.
As long as there are two people in this world, their views will never be the same, and neither will father and son. Therefore, talents in China advocate seeking common ground while reserving differences and respecting the minority, but they cannot obey the minority. This is a big difference between us and the West. Therefore, we should strive for understanding, not win the conviction of others, because that is impossible.
Management emphasizes communication and leaders advocate good discussion. Management can only manage people's bodies, and leaders can grasp people's hearts. Communication needs mutual affection to connect. In other words, communication and consultation can produce different effects.
The whole modern management began in the United States, and the first object of management was the hands of others, that is, management began with job analysis. Real management must analyze the work clearly. For example, when an employee comes to the company, he should make a clear timetable for his work in a day. This model is suitable for westerners, but not for China people. And this method has little influence on China people. As the saying goes, "there are policies at the top and countermeasures at the bottom", which has always been the case.
Chinese-style leaders emphasize grasping the hearts of employees through consultation. China people are the people who understand the heart best: where people are, the heart is not necessarily there; The heart is here, and people must be here; People follow their hearts, but hearts don't necessarily follow people. China, everything starts from the heart.
First, care. Shut up his heart so that it can't run away. This is called caring.
Second, use your heart. We should be heart-oriented, not people-oriented.
Communication means understanding each other's feelings, so people in China emphasize empathy. Not communication. Only heart to heart, many things can be talked about; It's no use saying it a hundred times if the heart is not connected.
Therefore, Chinese-style leadership does not rely on external things, but entirely on the invisible heart. The heart is a very important thing for China people, and communication really starts from the heart. There are many mysterious and endless changes, and you need to be smart to understand them well.
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