● "Can I?"

In a rural area of America, there lived an old man who had three sons. Both the eldest son and the second son work in the city, the youngest son is with him, and the father and son live alone.

Suddenly one day, a man found the old man and said to him, "Dear old man, I want to take your little son to work in the city, can I?"

The old man said angrily, "no, absolutely not." Get out! "

This man said, "if I find a date for your son in the city, is it okay?"

The old man shook his head: "No, you go!"

The man added, "What if I find Rockefeller's daughter for your son, your future daughter-in-law?"

At this time, the old man was tempted.

A few days later, the man found Rockefeller, the richest oil magnate in America, and said to him, "Dear Mr. Rockefeller, I want to find someone for your daughter, can I?"

Rockefeller said, "Get out!"

The man added, "If the person I am looking for for your daughter, that is, your future son-in-law, is the vice president of the World Bank, is that all right?"

Rockefeller agreed.

A few days later, the man found the president of the World Bank and said to him, "Dear Mr. President, you should appoint a vice president at once!" "

The president said: "impossible, there are so many vice presidents here, why should I appoint a vice president, and it must be done right away?"

"If the vice president you appointed is Rockefeller's son-in-law, is that okay?"

Of course, the president agreed.

Although this story is untrue and full of doubts, it reflects the power of communication to some extent. This story tells us that self-confidence is very important in communication. Only by knowing in your heart that it is good for both sides can you get the cooperation of the other side and achieve the success of communication. After realizing this, we must persevere and not be afraid of being rejected until we win the final victory. Communication is a big topic, which can't be explained clearly in a few words. Below, we use a few short stories to look at communication skills:

● The Princess's Moon

A little princess is ill. She told the king sweetly that if she could get the moon, she would get better. The king immediately called all the wise men in the country and asked them to find a way to seize the moon.

The Prime Minister said, "It is 35,000 miles away, bigger than the princess's room and made of molten copper."

The magician said, "It is 150,000 miles away and is made of green cheese, which is twice as big as the palace."

The mathematician said, "The moon is 30,000 miles away, round and flat like a coin, half the size of a kingdom, and still stuck in the sky. No one can win. "

Angry and angry, the king had to call the court clown to play the piano to relieve boredom. After asking everything, the clown came to a conclusion: if these learned people are right, then the size of the moon must be as big and as far as everyone thinks. Therefore, it is imperative to find out how big and far the moon is in the little princess's mind.

So the clown went to the princess's room to visit her and asked her, "How big is the moon?" "Probably smaller than my thumb nails! Because I can cover the moon with my thumb nails. " Said the princess.

"So how far is it?" "Not taller than that big tree outside the window! Because sometimes it gets stuck between the treetops. "

"What is it made of?" "Gold, of course!" The princess answered firmly.

Smaller than a thumb nail and shorter than a tree, the moon made of gold is of course easy to take! The clown immediately found a goldsmith to make a small moon, put on a gold chain and gave it to the princess as a necklace. The princess was very happy and recovered the next day.

Note: People pay less attention to the real needs of customers and do things according to their own wishes. As a result, no matter how hard they try, the effect is always bad. Communication is the best way to master customer psychology. In addition, it is also important to choose the content of communication. Only when the content of communication is selected can it be to the point, concise and efficient.

● Ability to cope with change.

Birds get together to elect their king. Peacock said it was the most beautiful and should be photographed by it, which immediately won the approval of all the birds. Only the cave bird said disapprovingly, "When you rule the bird country, if an eagle comes after us, how can you save us?" Peacock was speechless.

Note: Before communication, you should be fully prepared, think of any questions that the other party may raise, and formulate coping strategies, otherwise it will be difficult to convince others to accept their own views.

● Parrot

A man went to buy a parrot and saw a sign in front of it: This parrot can speak two languages, 200 yuan. In front of another parrot, it was written: This parrot can speak four languages, and the price is 400 yuan. Which one should I buy? Both are shiny, very flexible and lovely. The man turned and couldn't make up his mind. Suddenly I found a parrot with a tooth missing. Its fur is dim and messy, but its price is 800 yuan. The man quickly called the boss: Can this parrot speak eight languages? The shopkeeper said, no, this man is strange: old, ugly and incompetent. Why is it worth this number? The shopkeeper replied: because the other two parrots call this parrot boss.

Note: Only by finding the right communication partner can we communicate successfully, otherwise it is useless to try again. For example, selling a product, no matter how happy you talk to the receptionist, it may be difficult to sell the product to the company. Only by finding effective communication partners and people who can make decisions is the shortcut to communication.

● Business in Maggie Cheung.

In a movie, Maggie Cheung plays an insurance salesman. After finally meeting the target customer, the other party gave her a coin, saying it was for her to use on her way home. At that time, she was very angry. At the moment when she turned her head to leave, she saw a child's head hanging in the client's office, so she bowed deeply to that end and said, "I'm sorry, I can't help you." The customer was surprised and asked what was going on, and the first business was negotiated. It turns out that this client loves his son most, so he hangs his son's paintings in the office and looks at them every day.

Note: the starting point of communication is very important. This requires us to collect enough information to understand what the other party cares about and eliminate their resistance, so as to mobilize the other party's participation and increase the probability of successful communication.

● Scholars buy materials.

A scholar went to buy materials. He said to the seller, "Come here!" The seller doesn't know the word "the person who pays the salary" (the person who takes the materials), but he knows the word "come here", so he puts the materials in front of the scholar. The scholar asked him, "What is the price?" The seller didn't quite understand this sentence, but he knew the word "price" and told the scholar the price. The scholar went on to say, "The exterior is solid and the interior is weak. More smoke, less flame. Please damage it. Your wood is dry on the outside, but wet on the inside. When it burns, there will be more smoke and less flame. Please lower the price. The seller didn't understand the scholar's words and left with the materials.

Note: communication in a language that the other party can understand is the guarantee of successful communication. If a salesperson explains the benefits of products to consumers from a technical point of view, I don't think the effect will be good.

● The story of selling combs

There is a unit recruiting salesmen. Because the company pays well, many people interview. In order to test everyone, the manager came up with a topic: let them spend a day selling combs and sell them to monks. Many people say this is impossible. Monks have no hair. How much are they? So many people gave up this opportunity. But three people are willing to try. On the third day, they came back.

The first man sold a 1 comb. He said to the manager, "I saw a young monk with a lot of lice on his head, which was itchy. I scratched it with my hands." I lied to him about scratching my head with a comb and sold one. "

The second man sold 10 combs. He said to the manager, "I found the host in the temple and told him that it would be a sin of disrespect to the Buddha if the hair of the person who went up to worship the Buddha was messed up by the mountain wind." If you put a comb in front of each Buddha statue, it would be better for tourists to comb their hair before worshipping Buddha! " So I sold the 10 comb. "

The third man sold 3000 combs! He said to the manager, "I went to the biggest temple and told the abbot directly whether I want to increase my income?" The abbot said yes. I asked him to put up a slogan in the most prosperous place of the temple and donate money to receive gifts. What gift? A comb. This comb has one feature. Be sure to comb your hair in a crowded place, so as to comb away bad luck and get good luck. So many people comb their hair after donating and let many people donate. Sold 3000 at once. "

Note: when communicating, you should find the other party's needs and solve them. Only by increasing each other's value can we achieve our expectations.

● Key

There is a strong lock hanging on the gate, and an iron bar took a lot of effort, but it still can't be pried open. The key came and his thin body got into the lock hole. With a slight turn, the big lock opened with a bang.

Die-hard asked strangely, "Why can't I open it after all my efforts, but you open it easily?"

The key said, "Because I know his heart best."

Explanation: everyone's heart is like a locked door, and no matter how thick the iron bar is, it can't be pried open. Only by caring can we turn ourselves into a delicate key, enter other people's hearts and understand others. Therefore, when communicating, we must think more about each other, move people with feelings, and change hearts with hearts.

We communicate many times every day, but have you noticed the effect of communication? Through the sharing of the above stories, I believe you should know something about communication skills. Finally, let's sort out the communication points:

Recognize the benefits of communication, which is the only way to solve the problem.

Make full preparations before communication, including finding the right subject, communication object, time and environment.

◆ Finding the right time and breakthrough point of communication will get twice the result with half the effort.

◆ People who know how to listen will win the respect of each other.

◆ Only by solving other people's problems first and increasing each other's value can we increase the participation of others and achieve the purpose of communication.

◆ Communicate in a language that the other party can understand.

When communicating, confidence is very important. Only when you are confident can your speech be rational and powerful.

Stories about communication-

There are thousands of ways to communicate. The concept is dead, but vivid stories, especially those that fail to communicate, will make us grow up in embarrassment if we carefully taste them.

Inferiority is at work

There used to be a general manager in the subordinate company I managed. The company is in chaos and I don't know where to start. The relationship between companies is also tense; Working in a different place, the young and old who are in urgent need of care are thousands of miles away, and it is very hard to take care of them in work and life. Physical fatigue can be described, but mental fatigue cannot be explained. He has been in office for almost two years, and his work has not improved. Employees have a lot of opinions, their level is not good, and their superiors rarely appreciate them. A person's taste is bitter.

We had a frank exchange of views. He wanted to think, want to know where the problem is; I told him that the problem is that it is difficult for him to communicate with people around him, and some frictions can be avoided through communication. He also wants to communicate with others, but others are unwilling; In fact, it is the internal factors that play a decisive role to see if there is a willingness to communicate with others. He admits that he is not very good at talking and can't say what he wants; In fact, communication is not a question of speaking skills, but first of all, you should jump out of the box of yourself and become a social person, consider the problem from the other side's point of view, and understand what the person you want to communicate is thinking and caring about. He said that there are fewer people who think about it at ordinary times and have not moved their minds in this regard; In fact, caring for others is the embodiment of a person's basic quality. There is no one else in my heart, how to figure out what the other person is thinking! He is sure that he is a foreigner and has never looked down on anyone in his heart; It doesn't matter if you don't look down on yourself. Sometimes inferiority is more related to ignoring the needs of others. He was surprised that he seldom showed feelings of inferiority. How could he give me insight? In fact, managers should pay more attention to developing themselves and thinking about themselves so as to observe the world. Communication is, in the final analysis, a question of being a man. The general manager finally woke up, but he woke up late. He has reached the age of no doubt, and some principles of being a man have been basically finalized. For a company and a manager, the market opportunities are limited. He agreed to my suggestion that he should not be the general manager. Indeed, his inferiority complex in his bones hindered many things.

Chivalry prevails.

Another general manager, no matter from which angle, is a master of communication. Tsinghua University graduated and has many years of experience as a company manager. He is a northern man who likes to make friends and speaks with a cool energy. He took over a company and wanted to make some achievements. He did not consider the organization system of the whole station and the mobilization and encouragement of the people, but adopted the psychology of short-term speculation, betting on monthly sales, ignoring some basic technical problems. As a result, customers experienced negative growth for several months because of technical support problems. He is not worried about the confusion of financial management. The sales outlets didn't pay off their accounts for a year, and he didn't take it seriously. Instead, it gave blank checks to sales outlets around the country, which caused great difficulties to the management at that time and later. He is particularly obsessed with getting along with salesmen, often drinking together and speculating outside the words. Salesmen feel that their wages are low, so they are encouraged to open their own stalls and engage in business; What a salesman needs, as long as he has it, he can take it out. Some basic principles of "one set" operation disappeared in the chaos of tragedy.

He also has ways to communicate with his superiors, such as "Don't worry, Mr. Wang", "Give me some more time, Mr. Wang" and "I am confident to build the company well with a knowledgeable boss" and so on. If these words are any consolation, he will come with his mouth open. This is the first time, ok; When I said it the second time, I drummed in my heart: I said the same thing over and over again, but I didn't see any improvement in my work; Just agree with me in words, not in actions. I can tolerate it, employees can't tolerate it, and the market can't tolerate it. Later, I went into battle directly, and I had to go to the company before 8: 30 every day to arrange for an audit directly. If you work so hard, there will always be people who can't escape. In the past, one of his most trusted salesmen played a lot of tricks through management loopholes and could not pay the bill, so he had to flee in fear of sin. He didn't believe that the salesman ran away and killed him.

Common sense of life has repeatedly told us that the communication between fair-weather friends can't stand the wind and rain. As a long-term friend and confidant, heart-to-heart talk is not a temporary pleasure, but a recognition of some original things in life. They share their understanding of the world and their own thinking process, which can enhance their happiness with each other for a long time. These factors make you become bosom friends, and it is not enough to just have fun together. This manager has two simplifications. First, he simply regards people who are happy to drink together as available confidants. The second is to simply regard the communication between personal friends as the order of management.

There are some unchangeable principles in the management of the company, just like people need to breathe and eat when they are alive. If a company's managers deal with principles, they can only be bullied in the end. The general manager's triumphant communication style not only didn't bring any benefits to the company, but the salesman didn't buy his good, and he had long asserted that "the manager was using me." Since you can use him as the manager, it is logical for him to use you as the manager in turn. A company's top management is incompetent if it can't find suitable communication methods, implement the company's development goals and tasks in the hearts of every employee, establish an all-round responsibility system and give full play to the creativity of employees.

The general manager mistakenly thinks that buddy loyalty is a way to communicate with employees, but it is still a mixed word. He doesn't want to run the company well, and he lacks the minimum sense of responsibility and some of the most primitive things to be a man. Today's harsh market ecology and enterprise ecology do not accept such cowards.

Rumors kill people

Communication brings not only happiness, but also trouble, disgust and even hatred.

A company has experienced the bitter fruit of this kind of improper communication. There are active people who are keen on gossip. Zhang San said something about Li Si, and Li Si said something about Zhang San and Wang Wu. Subsequently, "saying three" became "Tao four" and even multiplied. To make matters worse, the managers of this department have intentionally or unintentionally joined this unhealthy trend and become the source of the wind (managers' words are bound to become the source of the wind). The order of the company is also disturbed by this kind of mutual communication and mutual harm. These employees may also feel the pleasure of communication when whispering to each other. Unfortunately, this is only temporary. When what they said about the third party was known by the third party, happiness turned into pain, and good friendship also turned into hatred. Any irresponsible whisper is burying your future. The most abundant spirit, in the face of catastrophe, can also dominate its own destiny and play the most high-spirited music; The poorest spirit, on the sunny road, will also throw its fate into others' mouths in an instant.

Machiavellian rule

The story of a company is also thought-provoking. It is normal that employees have opinions and can't solve their heart problems for a while, but the contradiction between several employee supervisors in this company lasts for a long time. These employees are not bad in nature, and they all work hard. What's the problem? I have been to this company several times and have a little idea. I called a meeting attended by the manager and several supervisors. At the meeting, I suggested that everyone speak freely, communicate more, and put themselves in each other's shoes first.

With this role change, everyone really gained a lot of new knowledge: the other side has unsatisfactory places, each has its own difficulties and hardships, and it is not easy for anyone. Later, things were particularly simple: a supervisor usually had more contact with the manager, only tried to complete the tasks assigned by the manager, and did not show enthusiasm for other things in his job; When the manager is away, she reads books, makes some personal phone calls and seldom communicates with other employees. As time went on, obstacles appeared. In fact, this supervisor is going through a very difficult life change some time ago. The child has just turned one year old, but he has to bear the pain of divorce. The pressure she is under is beyond ordinary people's imagination, and there is no friend in the company who can speak from the heart. This usually isolated supervisor was finally understood and cried excitedly. Others pass paper towels, hold hands and show concern through some small gestures. The seemingly indestructible ice layer melted in less than 1 hour of frank two-way communication. The fresh air is spreading, and everyone feels very happy. I then asked a question that stunned everyone: How did such a simple communication take so long?

Everyone has many arguments and draws the following points: I used to think too much about myself and rarely think from the other side's point of view; Less face-to-face communication and complicated problems; It is not enough to be responsible and challenge yourself, but to patronize and criticize others; Leaders may also like the following things, so the centripetal force may be stronger. This last one shocked me. In the past, feudal emperors often deliberately provoked mutual criticism from ministers in order to maintain their rule of being immune to corruption. Now some bureaucrats are not good at management, but they are particularly keen on regulating the relationship between subordinates, making each other stumble, but they feel that their relationship with him is iron. By some skills, make friends with people, get a kind of information, and adjust the business strategy at any time without principles. I've seen such people before. Is that a "political book"? /SPAN>。

Narcissistic catharsis

A person I know is particularly good at saying that no matter what topic you raise, he can tell it from beginning to end, and sometimes he can play a logical system. He is so keen that he can easily catch other people's speech disorders or ambiguities. When it comes to happy places, every spittle star that erupts from a flowing river has irresistible power. At first, people will get something valuable from his broad vision, but later they find that some things are not as conclusive as what he said. And when he talks a lot, he may regard a living person as a stone or wood. A neglected humiliation will naturally arouse people's resistance.

The confrontation first took place in his home. The wife and the daughter who went to college overcorrected. He covered his ears as soon as he spoke for more than time, and finally ordered him not to say more. In the circle of colleagues, people listened with relish at first, then people took pleasure in conveying his fallacies, and then people simply made fun of him face to face like monkeys. Vision has not become a tool for effective communication, but a wall for him to isolate himself. Why? When you think about it, it is clear: when he is talking, the interlocutor has disappeared from the human sense, leaving only a body, object or waste paper that carries his voice; Ignoring the existence of others will eventually be ignored by others. I think that's why he lost a friend or partner.

Reason can't control emotions

Another general manager also has many things to remember. Graduated from philosophy department of famous university, good at thinking and doing things. Because of his bad temper, he has been charged and imprisoned. He has a strong spirit. Show off everything, most afraid of being looked down upon. At any time, I am particularly sensitive to my status, authority and dignity. The overly sensitive and fragile mentality of waiting for others to confirm their value will often lead him into endless imagination, and finally he will definitely throw himself into the abyss of bad emotions.

He is a proud man. He is anxious when his work is delayed, and his mood is even more unstable when he is anxious. Often in a clear sky, there is sudden lightning and thunder. The employees were all afraid of him and soon got into the habit of saying only what he wanted them to say. Imagine once again fulfilling the mission of saving him. He regards the management of superiors as the pressure of villains, the help of peers as seizing power, and the initiative of subordinates as malice. In the end, he became his enemy. In a hostile atmosphere, one cannot be expected to play any positive role. Guilty, fragile and incompetent people often show confidence, strength and omnipotence. This is a lesson he taught me.

Enthusiasm is like fire.

I have a friend who likes to communicate with people most. If you give him sincerity, he will give you double. As soon as he meets the person who is talking to him, he will turn out all the corners in his heart and enjoy himself in the sun.

But some time ago, he was very upset and depressed. The reason is that a new person in the company sat with him and directly told his tragic experience. Friends seem to be the only people he confides in this world, and they are predestined fate in previous lives. A few days later, a lonely and helpless person was waiting for help. My friend stepped forward in this battle? He suddenly lost his sense of distance and told the man about the relationship between the company and the company. Chatting with your bosom friend, of course, involves your own subjective feelings. My friend also used this person to shake off his subtle sense of distance from everyone.

After a while, some colleagues began to regard him with special respect, especially those who were usually a little worried. Then he saw the new man who was inseparable from him, and began to distance himself from him, often hanging out with people he was uncomfortable with, laughing and laughing. Gradually, what he said to that man began to spread in the company, and some people came to confront him. The unfriendly atmosphere made my friend lose confidence.

Seeing him down and out, I congratulate him! I said, I was set up this time. Should I know the price of enthusiasm? This is a good thing. As for the discomfort encountered at present, it will soon pass. I judge that this newcomer is the kind of rogue who trades his privacy for others and then exposes others' privacy for fun. He can't stop this behavior. This hurts my friend and will soon hurt everyone who comes into contact with him. The magic weapon of self-protection is not to take him seriously. Friends are relieved to think about it. Sure enough, newcomers can't stay in this company without half a year.