According to what I have seen, heard, thought and felt and some personal practice, I would like to talk about the following views on family education:

First, establish a correct concept of educating people.

Parents should first establish a correct concept of educating their children. Every parent wants their children to live well, which is the nature of parents. Different parents have different standards on how to make a good law at different times. For a long time, many parents have chosen an "elite orientation", "ambitious children" and "ambitious women" to pursue "big money", "big officials" and "big people". If you just want your children to be good all their lives, or if you are not only good to children, but also become a person who is beneficial to society and people, this hope is right. But it is wrong to regard children as their private property and hope to honor their ancestors or achieve their personal goals. There is no denying that some parents do pin their regrets and personal ambitions on their children. The correct concept of educating people should be: adhere to people-oriented and take the healthy growth of children as the foundation. The so-called healthy growth is to make all aspects develop organically and harmoniously on the basis of inherent human nature, and become a complete, energetic, personalized, potential and creative newcomer. Such a newcomer must first be a self-reliant person, and then a person who contributes to society. Although educating children is the bounden responsibility of parents, it is mainly determined by the social function of the family, and parents are more fulfilling a social responsibility.

Secondly, we should understand the process and law of success, and don't expect to take shortcuts. Everything grows regularly, so does the growth of talents. Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent diligence. Only those who work tirelessly and diligently on the rugged mountain road of science can reach the peak of glory. "Jackie Chan", "Fashion", "Big Official" and "Big Money" are all the same, and there is no shortcut. As the saying goes, "If you want to survive and prosper, you must work hard", which is the truth. Although everything can be made as interesting as possible and serious things can be accommodated in a relaxed environment, this is not a shortcut. The so-called shortcut is to master the law and take fewer detours.

Parents have the right to "expect their children to succeed" and the right to "help their children succeed", but they have no right to "force their children to succeed" and take "success" as their only choice. Similarly, parents should not regard "mediocrity" as their only choice. Whether it is "mediocrity" or success, it is a child's own business, and children should be allowed to choose. Parents cannot impose their values, success, happiness and happiness on their children. Parents have no right to arrange their children's future lifestyle. As a parent of a modern society, we must establish a correct educational concept and educate our children by means of "respect, communication, guidance and guidance".

Second, fully respect children.

1, fully respect children's personality.

Mr. Tao Xingzhi, a famous educator in China, said: "Real education is an activity that matches each other's hearts. Only from the heart can we reach the deep heart. " From what Mr. Wang said, we can easily understand that without emotion, all education is impossible. How do we do this? The most important thing is to respect children and respect their personality. Everyone has self-esteem, and the desire for respect is an inherent requirement of people. Only when you respect your children can you win their respect. Parents have the right to manage and educate their children, and have the responsibility of guardianship according to the law on the protection of minors, but they are equal to their children in personality. Parents should treat their children equally. We should not pretend that we are the biological parents of our children and have the kindness to raise them, and show so-called "dignity" such as "superiority" and "authority everywhere" in front of them, humiliating them, let alone punishing them.

The study of children's behavioral psychology found that corporal punishment of children is actually a harmful behavior. 1-3-year-old children who are often subjected to corporal punishment tend to become hypocritical, indifferent, troublesome, good at lying and violent, and these behaviors will begin to appear within weeks or months after corporal punishment. The rebellious behavior of children caused by corporal punishment will be manifested in some aspects after two years. There are usually six situations: children will occasionally or often steal or lie; Rude or unsympathetic to others; Lack of self-confidence after doing something wrong; Often destructive or violent; Failing to abide by the rules and regulations of the school; Don't get along well with teachers, etc. The researchers recorded two values with charts, the value of corporal punishment by parents and the value of violence after corporal punishment by children. Pediatricians found that after two years, the two values were getting closer and closer, that is, the greater the corporal punishment value, the greater the violence value. They call it "dose relationship" or "action relationship". Researchers suggest that reducing or even eliminating corporal punishment is extremely beneficial to the healthy growth of children and also helps to reduce the degree of violence in society. Of course, many people who received corporal punishment as children did not become child abusers or depression patients when they grew up. Just like people get sick. Through proper "treatment" or environmental factors, patients will get rid of the threat of disease.

Contrary to the frequent corporal punishment of children, babies get more hugs and caresses, and children will be calm, calm and good at self-regulation when they grow up. The secret is that hugging and touching will make the hormone levels in children's brains significantly different, and as a result, the level of "stress hormones" in the body is low. Children are destined to live in a stressful environment when they grow up, and those who have been warmed by parent-child behavior since childhood can better cope with the pressure of social environment and avoid those stress-related diseases.

2. Fully respect the child's personality characteristics.

If parents want to educate their children well, they must understand their age characteristics and personality characteristics. Age characteristics refer to the level and characteristics of physical and psychological development at a certain age. If children especially like games and stories in early childhood, parents can get twice the result with half the effort by using games and telling stories to educate their children. If you keep preaching the truth, the effect will definitely be bad. Personality characteristics refer to each child's own personality characteristics, for example, some children are outgoing and lively; Others are introverted and tend to be shy and quiet. Therefore, we can't adopt the same education method. It is very important for parents to learn some knowledge about children's psychology. They should always observe and study children's personality characteristics and observe children's thoughts, behaviors and psychological needs from their perspective. In the process of tutoring, parents should never use "how are other children" to measure their children, because each child has his own personality characteristics.

3. Let children have the right to choose.

In life, adults often have such and such requirements for children, asking them to do what adults want to do, but children often have their own opinions. At this time, if parents force their children to obey too much, they will not be able to make them obey, but will have a rebellious mentality of "anti-parents" and affect their mental health. Parents should not impose their own interests on their children. Giving children the right to choose can let them know themselves. Affirmation of one's own abilities can enhance a child's self-confidence. Letting children do what they are most interested in is the best way to stimulate children to consciously learn internal motivation. Giving children the right to choose not only enables parents to find a better way of education, but also is an important condition for their healthy growth.

Third, be good at guiding children.

1, guide children correctly

As parents, we should first guide our children with advanced cultural concepts. For example, educate children to become people who love the motherland, the nation and the people and have a sense of social responsibility when they grow up. People should not only live for themselves, but should learn from people with lofty ideals and vanguard and exemplary figures. For example, educating children to love labor is their foundation, and they can't rely on it or be lazy. Only by studying, being diligent and constantly striving for self-improvement can they make continuous progress. Wait a minute. At present, it is of great practical significance to educate children to learn the deeds of China teenager Hong Zhanhui. Secondly, it should be consistent with school education. Family education greatly restricts school education. Take learning from Lei Feng as an example. The teacher asked the children to do good deeds like Lei Feng. If parents educate and urge their children to do good deeds in this way, children will enhance their awareness of learning from Lei Feng. If parents say, "Learn from Lei Feng, Lei Feng is a fool." Then children's motivation to learn from Lei Feng is much less. The school teaches students not to fight and call names. If parents ask, children can easily form polite habits. If parents say, "whoever scolds you, you scold him twice, and whoever beats you, you beat him twice!" " "It is not easy for children to form the habit of being polite. Third, parents should guide their children with their good words and deeds. Parents and children are related by blood. Therefore, parents are the most frequent, direct and impressive role models for children. Parents' words and deeds have a penetrating effect on children's morality. Parents should set an example for their children through their good words and deeds, so that children can grow up healthily under the influence.

2. Guide children in a targeted manner.

Parents must educate their children to be targeted, not to be caught by beards and eyebrows, to restrict their children too much and to die too much. First of all, pay attention to morality. Caring for children is not only about food, clothing, housing and transportation, but also about thinking. Grasp children's ideological problems, educate children to have morality and cultivate their enthusiasm for life. The most important thing for a person is to have enthusiasm and self-motivation for life. Full enthusiasm and persistence for life comes from lofty ideological and moral sentiments. Secondly, children should not be observed from the perspective of an adult. Some parents observe their children from the perspective of an adult, so they don't understand their children, regard their liveliness as naughty, limit their death, and have simple education methods, thus forming a "generation gap" with their children. Children don't want to talk to their parents psychologically, which makes education lose its pertinence. Parents should insist on looking at the problem from the child's point of view. Third, we should highlight the key points. In the process of children's growth, some mistakes are irreversible and will affect their lives, such as safety problems and health problems. We must pay close attention to these problems. You don't have to pay too much attention to children with poor grades and unintentional mistakes.

Fourth, encourage children more.

1, encourage in time

Parents should praise and encourage their children to do good deeds in time. Be good at discovering children's strengths and abilities, arrange things that can be done and done well for children to do, and then praise and affirm. Everyone likes to listen to good words, and people need warm words everywhere. Parents' smiles and inspiring praises at critical moments can often ignite children's hopes and ideals. Of course, this kind of praise should be sincere and heartfelt. Appropriate affirmation and praise will make children feel happy and make them willing to repeat this good behavior, which will play a positive role. On the contrary, false exaggeration and unrealistic praise will make children uneasy or false. Reward should be timely, and if you find that your child has done something good or done something well, you should immediately affirm it. Say something warm or make a positive gesture, and don't wait for the child to forget to praise. Late praise is often meaningless.

2. Appropriate encouragement

When children behave well, parents should not be stingy with their praise. They should output what they should and give them generous praise and rewards. Generosity doesn't mean how much you want to buy for your children, but you should fully affirm their progress. More praise and less criticism is a principle that parents should adhere to in family education.

Give priority to with spiritual encouragement. In family education, parents' praise for children should focus on spiritual encouragement, supplemented by material rewards. In fact, there are many ways of spiritual encouragement, such as going to the park, watching movies, listening to concerts, family trips, holding family celebrations and so on. The return should be ranked second. You can use rewards to buy toys, stationery, newspapers and magazines, more cultural and sporting goods, and of course, you can also buy food and clothes. Children are not financially independent, and their lives depend entirely on their parents at home. It is ok to give them appropriate material rewards, but remember not to be too much. If there are many things, children will fall into material satisfaction and enjoyment, which is not good for their growth.

Material rewards are not advanced. Some parents always make a wish in advance: "If you get 100 in the mid-term exam, I will buy you a dress." In fact, it is not appropriate to do so. In the final analysis, parents rewarding their children is a means, a method, not an end. Parents should temporarily decide whether to give it or not according to the specific situation. Making a wish in advance can easily lead to the vulgar habit of bargaining with adults, which runs counter to our original intention of praising and rewarding children.

When giving children material rewards, they must be accompanied by clear explanations, explaining why the rewards are given, where the children have made progress, and what they need to do in the future, so that the children can know what their strengths are and what the direction of struggle is, so that they can add new motivation in spirit after obtaining material satisfaction.

3. Don't protect children's shortcomings.

Every child has advantages and disadvantages, and we should not protect children's weaknesses. The disadvantage of children is often that they are getting shorter and shorter. If the child does something wrong, he should criticize it in time. It is important to explain to him why it is not good at that time. Every child is allowed to make mistakes. The key is to learn the skills of being a man and doing things from mistakes, don't repeat the same mistakes, and grow up slowly from mistakes.

Fifth, try to let the children out.

Parents should give their children enough freedom to play as they want, and don't restrict them too much and die too much. This one won't work, and neither will that one. Let children do as many things as possible, such as putting on and taking off clothes, learning to make the bed and fold the quilt, and helping parents do some housework. Don't worry about this or that. The story of "cage and bird" is a story that many parents often tell their children. The moral of this story is profound. Birds live in cages, which is the sorrow of birds. Birds should return to nature, which is the instinct of birds. Playing is a child's nature and an important condition for the healthy growth of children. Similarly, children are curious about the world and want to try everything, and their ability to live independently will gradually be exercised. Parents must learn to release their children without delay. Release the child at the right time without delay, and the child will grow stronger and more assertive than under the protection of his parents. On the contrary, arrangement will cause the loss of children's ability.

In terms of releasing children, I want to introduce a good article called Education for the Future. The full text is as follows:

Give the child a space and let him go forward by himself. Two parents, in order to provide a special space for their children, came up with a good idea called "small study abroad". This method is simple and effective, and is very popular with children. The so-called "small study abroad" means that the children of both families go to live in each other's home for a month or two and go to school in the same school. Although changes have taken place in such a space, the educational effect on children is very outstanding. There are at least four advantages: first, children get exercise. Children leave home for the first time, although they don't live alone, but after all, they are surrounded by outsiders and the environment is strange, which can be regarded as the initial exercise of independent life. The second is to cultivate self-care ability. Just arrived at someone else's home, children pay more attention to the cultivation of self-education ability. They can consciously be strict with themselves and rush to do housework, and the schedule is very tight. They learn to do what they can't do. Although this period of time is not long, they have made rapid progress. The third is to improve interpersonal skills. "Studying abroad" in the new environment and meeting strangers are good opportunities to improve interpersonal skills. Children learn how to treat their elders, new neighbors and visiting guests. After listening to the teachings of the elders in my new home, I feel that I have a deeper understanding of interpersonal relationships combined with my original interpersonal experience. The fourth is to deepen the understanding of society. The children live in two different families. If you can pay attention to observation and thinking, it is also a comparative study. The two families have different cultural backgrounds, and each member has different personalities, concepts and living habits. Analyzing the differences between the two families can help deepen social understanding from a small window. However, not all parents can pay attention to expanding their children's space and exercise their children freely. Some even work in the opposite direction. I have seen such a mother with my own eyes. She came to a place only a few tens of meters away from school with her second-grade child in her arms, and reluctantly put it down for fear of being criticized by the teacher. After kissing the child, she watched the child go to school. This mother must love her children very much, but we may all clearly feel how terrible the result of this love will be! Give your child a condition to exercise by himself. It is definitely not possible to cultivate children by pulling out seedlings to encourage them, but a negative attitude of "letting nature take its course" is not conducive to children's growth. Follow objective laws and actively create conditions for children to exercise. This is the right way for us to go. Exercise can be divided into physical exercise, mental exercise and comprehensive exercise. To achieve the purpose of exercise, you can't rely entirely on the existing conditions, you need to create it yourself. A China scholar visiting relatives in the United States encountered such a thought-provoking thing: one day, he was reading a newspaper at home. Suddenly, someone knocked at the door and opened it. It turned out to be a girl of eight or nine years old, a girl of five or six years old. The boss said to him calmly, "Do you need a nanny at home? I am here to apply. " The scholar asked curiously, "What can you do? I'm still so young, "explained the boss. "I am 9 years old and my work history 14 months. Please look, this is my work record. I can look after your child, help him finish his homework and play games with him. " The older child observed that he didn't want to hire her, and further said, "You can try me for a month for free. I just need you to sign my work record, which will help me find a job in the future. " The scholar pointed to the five or six-year-old child and asked, "Who is she? Do you still have to take care of her? " The answer I heard was even more surprising: "She is my sister. She is also looking for a job. She can push your child for a walk in a stroller. Her job is free. " What a lovely child! Their parents should also say that they are amazing and dare to let their children go out into the world. However, some of our parents have never thought about creating exercise conditions for their children, but they have destroyed the exercise conditions created by the school for their students. For example, a school organizes students to go to military training and requires students to carry their luggage to a car 200 meters away. In fact, some parents have "protested" to the school: who is responsible for the child's fatigue? In the end, the parents were at a loss to carry the students' luggage to the car, while his children walked behind with their hands behind their backs. Can such a family be happy in the future? I really don't know what this sweaty parent thinks! Give the child a question and let him find the answer by himself. Every child will ask one question after another endlessly, but how can the child get the answer to the question? Experience tells us that whether a child likes asking questions is an important factor related to his success, and how a child gets answers is a more important factor related to his success. For example, in the past primary school textbooks, when describing the process of tadpoles becoming frogs, it was clearly stated that tadpoles' tails automatically fell off at a certain time and then became frogs. After learning this lesson, many students keep a tadpole to see how it grows, especially how its tail falls off. However, after day-to-day observation, the tadpole's tail did not fall off, but disappeared. The students told the teacher about this situation. The teacher did not subjectively and simply deny the students' observation, but asked them to observe carefully and make detailed records. So many children observed it at the same time. As a result, they didn't find the tail falling off, and they didn't find any traces of the frog's ass falling off. On the contrary, some careful students found that the tail of the tadpole was slowly retracted. All the observations reached a consistent conclusion. They told the teacher the result. With the support of teachers, they sent these observations to the relevant units that published textbooks. Finally, with the participation of scientists, the mistakes in textbooks have been corrected. In this process, the students carried forward the spirit of exploration, and the teacher deserves more praise because he supported the students' sense of independence. In the family, parents should also create some methods to cultivate their children's intellectual autonomy. There is a parent who guides their children to distinguish right from wrong in the first grade of primary school: every day, they take their children to school to squeeze the bus. Whenever they see some arguments, they let them pay attention and tell their parents their analysis when they get off the bus. Why on earth did they cause controversy? Who is right and who is wrong? How to solve it? After the child finishes speaking, parents should give some guidance. Over time, the child's ability to distinguish right from wrong is stronger than other children. Based on this, she is very good at persuading children, so she became a small monitor supported by everyone. Give the child a little difficulty and let him solve it himself. It is reasonable to say that "children from poor families take charge early". Children from poor families, poor living environment, naturally prepared hard exercise conditions for him; However, with the improvement of living standards, can children only be "dude"? How to successfully educate children under prosperous conditions is indeed an urgent topic to be discussed at present. Experienced parents try their best to set some difficulties for their children, not only in life, but also to let them solve them and cultivate their ability and excellent quality. One parent does this: when a child wants to buy something, his parents sometimes consciously postpone it for a week to meet his requirements, which she thinks will cultivate his ability to restrain himself. It is difficult to establish, and it is best to be targeted. Some children, who live in tall buildings, have elevators up and down, and have cars when they go out, seem to have no outstanding difficulties to solve in their lives. In response to this situation, a parent came up with a way to set difficulties and encourage children to solve them. He arranged two special assignments for his children: one is to go up and down the 12 floor every day, and insist on walking without taking the elevator; The second is to go to school every day, instead of taking the bus, but insist on walking five stops. What kind of difficulty is set is related to the parents' ideas. For example, in Australia, an incident happened to a China reporter personally, which gave people a profound enlightenment in the concept of education. One day, the reporter was walking in the street, and there was a small river side by side with the street. At this time, the reporter saw an Australian woman walking in front with a child. Suddenly, the reporter found the naughty child in front, skipping! Fell into the river. Without hesitation, the reporter quickly ran to the river and prepared to jump into the river to save the child. Unexpectedly, just as the reporter was about to jump, the woman stopped him. The reporter looked at her strangely and asked her to explain. She said seriously, "I want him to climb up by himself." The reporter saw the child churning in the water, drank a few mouthfuls of water, and finally climbed up. An idea was also churning in his mind: What a great mother this is, what a rational love this is! Give the child some rights and let him choose for himself. Children's autonomy is often manifested in their own choices, but parents are always afraid to give their children the right to choose because they are afraid of their own mistakes. However, if they are never given the right to choose, they will never learn to choose and never have autonomy. Some parents can give their children the right to choose, but they should provide them with relevant information in advance, help them analyze various possibilities and educate them to choose for themselves, so they should be responsible. They think that in this case, even if the choice is wrong, it is also an opportunity to learn, which is very worthwhile. If a parent wants his child to learn piano, but when he signs up at the Children's Palace, he finds that the child has met God at the gate of the dance troupe and will never leave again. Therefore, parents respect their children's choices, but ask them to be responsible for their own choices. They must persist for a period of time and learn to dance well. Some parents give their children some choice in pocket money. With the growth of children's age and ability, arrange a reasonable amount of pocket money, but give control to the children and keep the savings for yourself. Doing so can not only cultivate children's autonomy, but also improve their economic awareness and financial management ability. Choice and responsibility are always linked. If parents decide everything about their children, they will not think that they are responsible for this decision, because it is not their choice. If the right is given to the child, his choice will be more cautious, because he knows that once he chooses, he will be responsible for it, and he will have to bear the consequences, whether it is good or bad.

Finally, explain Every child has the characteristics of every child, and every child has the characteristics of different periods. There can be no fixed model for family education of minors. My practice is limited, and some ideas should not be used as instructive experiences. Even the theory with guiding significance has the problem of combining with concrete practice when guiding personal practice. So I named this article My View on Family Education-My Opinion on Family Education for Minors. Although parents and everyone are used in the expression, it is mainly for the convenience of expression and does not change the original intention of this article. This article is for your reference only.