This paper reveals the connotation of emotional management, expounds the necessity of strengthening emotional management of college students from their emotional characteristics and common emotional troubles, and puts forward concrete measures to strengthen emotional education of college students, eliminate unreasonable beliefs, exercise rational thinking and develop students' emotional intelligence.
Keywords: college students; Emotional management; emotional quotient (EQ)
First, the connotation of emotional management
Emotion is triggered by stimulation. When we have emotions, we will show them in psychology, physiology and action, and the ways of expression vary from person to person. Emotion is very important to everyone. It can convey information. Knowing the stimulus that causes emotions can make people better understand the truth and take the initiative better. At the same time, emotion is also a regulatory system, and depression, addiction or overreaction will all cause problems.
Emotional management is to control and adjust your emotions reasonably through effective methods, so that you are always in a positive state. If people can effectively manage their emotions in their daily study, work and life, tap and cultivate their emotional IQ, cultivate their ability to control their emotions, and establish and maintain a good emotional state, they can always experience the psychological and physiological changes brought by positive emotions and continuously improve their physical and mental health.
Second, the emotional management of college students problems
College students entering adolescence, mostly only children, are in a special period of physical and mental development, showing the emotional characteristics of specific groups. First of all, they are diverse. With the continuous development of self-awareness, the intensity of various new demands is increasing, and they have multiple self-emotions, such as self-esteem, inferiority and conceit. The second is impulsiveness, which is manifested as a strong and passionate experience of a certain emotion. With the development of college students' self-awareness, they are sensitive and energetic to all kinds of things, and it is difficult to control their emotions once they break out. Although, compared with middle school students, college students have certain rationality and control over their emotions, they are easy to get emotional in a state of passion. Third, it is contradictory. The external expression and internal experience of college students' eyes are not always the same. On some occasions and specific issues, some college students will hide, modify and suppress their true feelings and show them implicitly. Compared with adults, the mood of college students still fluctuates obviously, sometimes emotional, sometimes calm as water, sometimes positive and sometimes negative. Classmate relationship or academic performance can cause mood swings. Finally, it is easy to be emotional, that is, although the emotional state has eased, the emotional state has been lengthened and the remaining waves will last for a long time.
Due to these emotional characteristics of college students, it is easy to produce some common emotional troubles. Emotional distress is a kind of psychological state, which is a negative and negative emotional experience due to the influence of external things, events and other objective environments or the failure to solve internal contradictions and conflicts in time. The common emotional distress of college students is (1) anxiety, that is, the emotional experience when they are worried and uneasy about a certain situation or event that will happen and cannot take effective measures to prevent and solve it. Such as test anxiety, adaptation anxiety, health anxiety and choice anxiety. People are in a state of being at a loss, always worrying about what will happen, which may easily lead to fidgeting, anxiety, worry, fear or excessive vigilance and other adverse reactions. (2) Inferiority is an emotional experience of self-contempt caused by some psychological or physical defect or other reasons, which is mainly manifested in the low evaluation of one's knowledge, ability and other factors. Due to the change of living environment and learning environment, some college students have changed from "excellent students" in high school to "ordinary members" on campus. This change in status is an important reason why some college students feel inferior, and some students feel inferior because of poor family conditions or some shortcomings of their own. (3) Depression is a continuous and stable psychological state caused by the unsatisfied needs of college students. When individuals feel unable to face external pressure, they often have such negative emotions. Some college students feel gloomy because they don't like their major, or feel depressed or even depressed because of improper interpersonal relationships and lovelorn love, and give up on themselves, unable to appreciate the fun of life and study, accompanied by symptoms such as loss of appetite and insomnia. (4) Interpersonal communication barriers are often manifested as nervousness and unnaturalness in interpersonal communication, lack of logic in words, and sometimes even being at a loss, lacking self-confidence, or being sensitive, suspicious and distrustful of other people's words and deeds. (5) Irritability, research shows that the endocrine system of adolescent college students is in an unprecedented active period, and the inhibition and excitement of brain neural processes are unbalanced, with poor internal control and easy impulsiveness. Some college students go on the rampage because of a trivial matter or a sentence, or they hurt people when they say a sentence.
The direct consequence of college students' emotional distress is the maladjustment of behavior and society, which leads to mental illness. Studies show that when people are angry, the activity of immune cells in the body decreases, and people's ability to resist virus invasion weakens, which will lead to organ dysfunction and even physical diseases of the body itself. Negative emotions will interfere with people's rational judgment, and negative emotions are contagious and diffuse, so learning emotional management can promote emotional stability, adaptability and mental health. By strengthening emotional management, students can effectively adjust their psychological state, maintain a good, healthy and positive emotional state, and help improve their adaptability to the external environment and mental health.
Third, the strategy of emotional management.
(A) to strengthen emotional education
As an educator, we should strengthen emotional education for students in our daily study and life, so that students can realize their emotional state in time and describe it accurately in language. Let students not only learn to control their emotions and not let them interfere with current activities, but also quickly recover from negative emotional troubles, and know how to put themselves in the other's shoes and feel their own emotional feelings. As a school administrator, students should be organized to discuss all topics that may cause emotional problems and find solutions, so that students can be psychologically prepared for these problems at ordinary times and avoid being at a loss when suddenly facing problems, resulting in emotional disorders.
(2) Eliminate unreasonable beliefs
Emotion can not be produced without a specific trigger event, but the same trigger event will have different emotional reactions to different people, because the views, explanations and evaluations of trigger events are different. This is to teach students how to change the irrational beliefs that directly lead to their predicament, and how to refute their irrational beliefs actively and forcefully. Psychologist Wessle comprehensively summed up three characteristics of irrational belief [12], which are (1) absolute requirements (demanding-—ness), that is, people who always take their own wishes as the starting point and think that they must be kind to me. " (2) Overgeneralization, that is, the way of thinking is generalization and generalization. After failing an exam, I feel useless, ashamed, self-destructive and so on. (3) Terrible, thinking that if something bad happens, it will be very terrible and very bad, which will lead individuals to fall into extremely bad emotional experiences, such as shame, self-blame, anxiety and pessimism. Therefore, we must first learn to examine these beliefs from a rational perspective and explore the relationship between these beliefs and the emotions generated, so as to realize that some troubled emotions occur because of our unreasonable beliefs, and this biased way of thinking should be our responsibility. Secondly, we can help ourselves to change our way of thinking, argue with our unreasonable beliefs, shake and finally give up unreasonable beliefs through discussion with others or practical verification. In this way, with the elimination of unreasonable beliefs, those troubled emotions began to decrease or eliminate, and a more reasonable and positive behavior emerged. The positive role of behavior promotes the consolidation of reasonable beliefs and the relaxation of emotions. Finally, through the successful transformation of emotions and behaviors, individuals fundamentally establish a reasonable way of thinking and are no longer troubled by emotions.
(C) the use of rational thinking
Ellis (Eros) believes that rational thinking means that individuals treat everything that has happened as a natural law and as a thing, instead of treating what has happened or is happening as a bad thing, and unanimously expect to prevent things from happening. Rational thinkers can objectively and reasonably observe behaviors and make reasonable analysis of things, and are not affected by external evaluation. Of course, rational thinkers also have strong emotions, but they will express them in an appropriate way. People who think rationally will cherish life more, and through thinking and learning, push their actions towards the goal of realizing ideals and values. On the contrary, irrational thinking makes people stubborn, self-pitying, blindly impulsive or demanding perfection of themselves and others. Because they demand too much from the environment and others, it is difficult to establish a harmonious relationship with others. Living in loneliness and depression will inevitably lead to many emotional troubles.
(D) the development of emotional intelligence
The concept of emotional intelligence was put forward by salov and Meyer, which refers to "the ability of individuals to monitor their own and others' emotions and emotions, and to identify and use this information to guide their own thoughts and behaviors". According to Wei Saloway's viewpoint, EQ is mainly reflected in the following five aspects: (1) The ability to know one's own emotions is to know one's feelings, emotions, motives, personality, desires and basic value orientations, and take them as the basis for action. (2) The ability to properly manage one's emotions refers to the ability to understand and coordinate one's own experiences such as happiness, anger, fear, love, surprise, disgust, sadness and anxiety, and the ability to get rid of anxiety and anxiety actively. (3) Self-motivation refers to self-motivation and self-persuasion at any time in the face of what you want to achieve, and always maintain a high degree of enthusiasm, concentration and self-control. Make yourself efficient. (4) Understand the emotions of others, that is, put yourself in others' shoes and make intuitive judgments quickly. Understand other people's emotions, temperament, motives, desires, etc. And be able to respond appropriately. (5) The management of interpersonal relationship refers to the art of managing others' emotions. A person's popularity and interpersonal harmony are related to this ability. As the administrator and decision-maker of school education, we should fully realize the importance of improving students' EQ, incorporate the cultivation of EQ into the overall operating mechanism of the school from the above five aspects, take it as the educational content and assessment index, and carry out a series of targeted work from the aspects of curriculum activities, system establishment and school spirit construction to develop students' EQ.
refer to
[1] Jia Xiaoming, et al. Mental Health and Counseling of College Students [M]. Beijing: China Economic Publishing House. 1995.