On the influence of family education on the formation of children's character.
Childhood is an important stage of character formation, and good character cultivation is particularly important for young children. Parents should attach great importance to it and always pay attention to the direction of children's personality development. This paper analyzes the present situation of family education, expounds the influences of different types of family education on children's personality, and advances some strategies for establishing good family education methods.
Keywords children; Family education; Character; affect
Family education is the education of parents or other elders to children and adolescents at home. Different societies have different family education. Scholars in China also have different views on family education. In his book Family Education, Deng introduced Zheng Qilong and Zhao Zhongxin's views on family education, and pointed out: Generally speaking, family education takes place in family life, which is an educational activity centered on parent-child relationship and aimed at cultivating people who need society. It is the influence of family (mainly refers to parents) on individuals (generally refers to children and adolescents) in the process of human socialization. ?
The above description of the concept of family education grasps the main line of family education and emphasizes the important role of family education for minor children. However, to reflect the full significance and essence of modern family education, we must comprehensively grasp and understand family education from a dynamic perspective in combination with the characteristics of today's times. Therefore, we believe that modern family education refers to the interactive education among family members (mainly parents and children) whose blood relationship is the core in real family life.
First, the status quo of family education
1. Parents expect too much from their children's development.
Parents' values often determine their attitudes and requirements for their children. In the past few decades, parents have made great progress in opposing the concept of closure. They shift the focus of expectations from caring more about children's behavior norms to caring more about children's intellectual development. Even parents of some families? Looking forward to success? 、? Looking for a woman to become a phoenix? Eagerly, I designed all kinds of beautiful and spectacular blueprints for my children's future prematurely. At present, there is still a saying circulating in the society:? Never let a child lose at the starting line. ? Therefore, we will spare no effort to invest in children and train them prematurely. Never consider the children's own hobbies, and give them all kinds of special classes. Parents' expectations are too high, so parents interfere with children's life and activities too much, resulting in too much protection, too much arrangement and too much control, while neglecting the cultivation of children's non-intellectual factors, which will eventually suppress children's personality, creativity and mental health development.
2. There are differences in attitudes between intergenerational education and parental education.
With the continuous progress of society, the proportion of dual-career families in society is getting higher and higher, which brings many problems to children's education. Many young parents usually live with the elderly so that their grandparents can take care of their children more easily. The it family in this family is suitable for China to realize its economic foundation. The main family has a large population and complicated interpersonal relationships. Children have to deal with generations in the family and play various roles. In such a family environment, children's adaptability has been cultivated. However, due to age differences and intergenerational ideological differences, people of different generations in the family often hold different attitudes and values on raising children, and contradictions are inevitable. Under the influence of the new educational concept, young parents begin to pay attention to the cultivation of their children's abilities in all aspects, hoping that their unfulfilled wishes will be realized and compensated in the future, and often expect too much from their children. And grandparents are often influenced by the old saying? Carry on the family line? Influenced by traditional ideas, Xin Wei, the only person in the family, dotes on her in every way. I am afraid that my children will be wronged, so I always give in and do everything. Even if parents educate their children, grandparents will intervene. Therefore, there are intergenerational contradictions in early childhood education.
3. Parents' words and deeds are different, which leads to confusion in children's role imitation.
Children's evaluation of the right and wrong of things and the good and evil of behavior is often inseparable from specific things and people. Parents are the closest people to their children, and the so-called parents are their children's first teachers. Children often imitate their parents from the beginning, follow their parents' example, internalize their parents' behavior norms and values into their own qualities, and guide their behavior accordingly. However, some parents, on the one hand, educate their children to be honest, polite and honest with others, on the other hand, they often do behaviors that are inconsistent with this, which confuses their children's imitation roles and is not conducive to the formation of their concepts of right and wrong and good quality, so parents must set a good example for their children.
4. Lack of space and time for parent-child games
The developmental function of games for children has become the knowledge of educators. Froebel said? The game is the highest stage of children's development, and it is also the highest stage of human development in this period, because the game is the expression of inner self-activity, and at the same time it is unique to people's whole life, and it is a natural life hidden in people and everything? . So games give people happiness, freedom, satisfaction, internal and external peace, and the peace of the whole world. Games are indispensable for children. At present, although the game teaching method is widely used in our kindergarten education, the space and time for parent-child games in family education are quite lacking. Parent-child play is an important way of communication between adults and children in the family, and it is also an important indicator to measure the quality of this communication. In addition, because many young parents are busy with work and management at work, they are busy with housework after work and rarely play games with their children. There are also some parents who subjectively don't pay attention to it and don't work hard, which is also the key to the lack of parent-child games. Lack of space and time for children's games will not only affect the development of children's social communication ability, but also greatly reduce the development level of children's language and movements.
Second, the influence of different types of family education on children's personality.
(A) the impact of authoritarian education on children's personality
This type of parents require their children to obey themselves absolutely, and they have the right to force their children to listen to themselves. Children have no absolute freedom. Parents have paved the way for their children's future, just do it. Parents want to protect and supervise all their actions forever. They have less understanding and warmth for children, more compulsive styles, more criticism than praise, and have never really considered children's moods and thoughts. What is the relationship with their children? Tube? With what? Management? There is a gap between the two generations. In fact, parents have good intentions, all for their children, but it is impossible for children to understand and accept all the practices of their parents. This type of parents, what do you think? A dutiful son is born under a stick, and it doesn't grind people. But don't you know that children who have been under the influence of parents for a long time are generally more likely to form childish, dependent and neurotic psychology. They have no independence and autonomy, and their creativity is poor. They are usually self-centered, opinionated and cowardly. Some are rebellious and violent, while others are not bound by discipline and social code of conduct.
(B) the influence of doting education on children's personality
Nowadays, most families are only children. In a doting family, the only child naturally becomes a family? Little emperor, little princess, little sun, little ancestor? These parents always rely on their children, and their unreasonable demands are often met unconditionally. They buy whatever they want, wear luxury, famous brands and high-end products. If you want a star, you won't pick the moon. If you hold it in your hand, you will be afraid of losing it. If you put it in your mouth, you will be afraid to melt it. Parents' love for their children lacks reason and discretion, and they are more tolerant of their children's behaviors and demands. This type of family education is a hotbed to cultivate children's self-interest. This type of children can't develop well in self-knowledge, self-control and self-evaluation, so that they can't adjust and control their behavior from an early age. If their wishes are not satisfied, they will have mood swings or aggressive behaviors, and they will not get along well with their peers, let alone be accepted by others. Like a tiger at home, like a mouse at home? Cultivating a veritable loser character is more likely to produce psychological characteristics such as distrust, dependence and nervousness. They only know how to get, but don't know how to give. They only know that they are loved and cared for, but they don't know how to love their parents and elders, let alone care about others. They are insensitive to their parents, think it is natural, don't know the return of love, can't tell right from wrong, don't know what is right and wrong, rely on others for big and small matters, are timid, and have poor ability to solve any problems.
(C) the impact of strict education on children's personality
Parents have high expectations for their children and think that they must go all out to ensure that their children complete their studies. They ignore children's independence and autonomy, but use many rules to bind children to carry out formal academic education too early. Usually such parents will use their children as a tool to realize their dreams. Strict parents are too strict and demanding, so that children can't achieve their goals even if they work hard. Not only that, they will also cause invisible pressure on children. If parents reprimand a few more words, children will easily feel inferior, lack confidence in everything they do, become timid, and even have no courage to face society and life.
(D) the influence of democratic education on children's personality
Parents treat and respect their children equally, and they exchange views and opinions with their children. They limit some immature views of children, stick to correct views, and let children exercise themselves better and develop their strengths. Democratic parenting is more democratic, which is conducive to the development of children's independence, self-confidence, self-esteem and practical ability. These children are frank, caring, cooperative, modest, polite, sincere, respectful and exploratory.
Third, the strategy of establishing a good family education model.
(A) set a good example of education
1. Parents strive to improve their cultural literacy and quality.
? Educate people first As the parents of their children's first teacher, they should make themselves as knowledgeable as possible. Parents should have higher cultural literacy, which does not mean that they must become mathematicians, physicists, biologists and so on. But they should learn as much as possible about natural science and social science and collect good examples in life. This will not only enrich your life, but also better handle all kinds of problems raised by children. Therefore, in real life, parents not only need to learn some attempts to educate their children, but also need to be good at observing, summarizing and improving.
2. Use positive role models for education.
Parents have high authority in children's minds. Children get along with their parents from childhood, and parents have the longest and deepest influence on their children. Therefore, parents' words and deeds often become examples for children to follow. Broadly speaking, parents' role model education for their children is not only reflected in what they are required to do. In fact, how parents treat their work, how to arrange entertainment, how to treat others, and even how to dress, talk, walk and lose their temper may become examples for children to imitate. So-called? Like father, like son? . It can be seen how important it is for parents to set an example. If parents want their children to have certain good habits and characteristics, they must first have such habits and characteristics.
(2) Create a good family atmosphere and promote children's optimism and self-confidence.
Family atmosphere has an important influence on children's personality development. In a relaxed, cheerful and humorous family atmosphere, children will maintain a happy mood and show youthful, optimistic and confident personality characteristics, while in a quiet, monotonous and depressed family atmosphere, children will be nervous, irritable and prone to aggressive behavior. Therefore, family members must respect, understand and care for each other. Parents should be good at controlling their bad emotions with reason, and don't quarrel or talk too little in front of their children. We should try our best to create a relaxed, lively, harmonious and full of laughter family atmosphere, so that children's personality can develop in a positive and healthy direction.
(3) rewards and punishments should be used properly.
Rewards usually include both spiritual and material forms. Parents' timely and reasonable spiritual rewards and clear requirements for good behavior have promoted the development of children's sense of social responsibility. But some parents will get the same effect by rewarding their children with materials. But too many material rewards are often counterproductive, especially the abuse of material rewards. Mr. Chen Youlan, an educator in China, said that material rewards will reduce children's internalization of behavior norms and hinder the development of cognitive ability and good social responsibility? . Punishment is also a common method in family education. Punishment is generally divided into two forms, coercion and love redemption. Coercion will hinder children's moral internalization, reduce the development of children's conscience, and lead to children's aggressive behavior and other bad behaviors. The withdrawal of love is also a kind of psychological punishment. Often listen to your parents? I don't like you if you keep doing this? Call it the withdrawal of love. The recovery of love must be moderate when used. Too much abuse to save love often makes children feel too guilty. They are rigid rather than flexible in obeying social behavior rules and can only be carried out in a certain family environment. In the authoritative family, the withdrawal of love will have a positive effect on the socialization of children, on the contrary, it will have a negative effect in the authoritative family. Only by properly using rewards and punishments can children's personality development be better promoted. Don't overdo rewards and punishments, and give children reasonable rewards and punishments appropriately.
Cooperation between parents and kindergartens * * * Education
Parents should take care of their children's performance in kindergarten while doing a good job in the family. In addition to contact with parents, children will also study and play with kindergarten teachers and children, and their personality will be affected to some extent. Although children spend most of their time with their parents and are most affected, we don't rule out his influence outside. Therefore, kindergartens also have a certain influence on the formation of children's personality, and need the cooperation of families to create a good environment for the formation of children's personality.
Psychological research tells us that personality is closely related to mental state, and different personalities will directly affect people's mental state. Childhood is an important stage of character formation, and the embryonic form of character formed at this stage will not be very different from childhood if there is no big change in the future. So the famous educator ushinski said? Even if a person is 80 years old, he can still see his shadow when he was 5 years old. ? Therefore, the cultivation of good character is particularly important for young children. Parents should attach great importance to it and always pay attention to the direction of children's personality development.
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