Unconsciously, it's another year. October 29th of the lunar calendar, this weekend, is the seventh anniversary of his father's death.
I remember that year, when he left, it was still late autumn, and the weather was very comfortable, neither too cold nor too hot. However, a few days after he left, the temperature plummeted and it was cold and humid. I am especially grateful to God for his care, so that he can walk peacefully and steadily. That day, it was in the morning, about 9 o'clock, and I was going hiking with an old classmate. I plan to go back to my parents' house next Sunday. Unexpectedly, just halfway up the mountain, I received a phone call from my brother, with a low voice and a little crying, telling me that my father was dying. At that time, my father had been ill for more than a year and knew that he would go home sooner or later. I was still flustered for a while and just asked him. Can I go back now? Because there have always been many customs in the countryside, most of them seem to be unintelligible, similar to the death of my parents. As a married daughter, it seems to be waiting for someone? Call his home, give him candy, give him red envelopes and so on to ensure his good luck, and then go back to take care of the funeral. My brother agreed, so I left my old classmates in a hurry and went directly to my parents' home instead of my own.
Father has been arranged to lie in a corner covered with straw mats by the door, and there is still a faint breath left. Is the village the "boss"? Dress him up? Fairy costume? More elegant clothes for the elderly to report death to the underworld. I saw him sleeping peacefully, although after a while, he was helped to the public hall? , ready to arrange a funeral. Originally, he was ill for more than a year, and he has been basically in bed in recent months. However, after his illness was diagnosed by examination, he knew that he could not be cured, so he respected his opinion. At the age of 80, I have earned a lot. Let nature take its course. I don't make a fuss, I just treat it conservatively, so I never seem to feel his pain. Of course, my mother is with me day and night, and my father has always been the most patient. As a child, he was ill and we didn't work hard. We had to walk and see more, and he was satisfied. He kept saying that he was fine and didn't need to go often, but in fact he was thinking about it. Every time I see him, I always hear him casually say, "Have a rest on Sunday, knowing that you are here today?
His requirements for life and children have always been low. As a teenager, reality urged him to bite the bullet and bear hardships and stand hard work to support a family of five. Grandfather left him a "middle peasant" status, but he left early. At that time, my father was studying in No.1 Middle School? Being in the golden age of "just classmates and teenagers, in the prime of life", this is a golden age of learning for knowledge and drawing a beautiful blueprint for the future. As a last resort, I had to drop out of school to take the responsibility that the only man in my family should bear, but it was too early for him. Therefore, it is doomed that he can only step on the loess in the hot sun above his head all his life, without complaining or shouting, and he has tasted all kinds of bitterness in life, but he only doesn't know what is sweet! Perhaps, for him, after I am sensible, I see him at work every day, especially after dinner, making a pot of kung fu tea in front of the door, closing his eyes slightly, intoxicated in the world of self-entertainment. At that time, it should be his happiness and his sweetness. I don't know how he learned music knowledge. He can play the erqin, erhu and dulcimer. In his later years, he often participated in such recreational activities organized by rural elderly people. Regrettably, he failed to pay attention to the inheritance of his children.
Because I feel the hardships of farmers' days too early, I can't do anything without money, which makes my father have the biggest difference from ordinary farmers: I attach importance to children's reading! Convinced that knowledge can change fate! Several of his classmates in No.1 Middle School were as good as him when they were studying. Fortunately, without the burden of family, they basically became enviable people. , but my father only eats "bitterness? Life! I heard him mention it from time to time, but he accepted it honestly without complaining. All I know is to do my best to provide education for my children. Although he has always been frugal and even often brings some embarrassment, he can break a penny into several parts to use. However, on the issue of supporting children's education, he deeply understands the righteousness and is not moved by petty profits. This is enough to make me feel grateful for life and glad that I was born at the right time. Unlike my elder sister and her second sister, I only went to junior high school, and I couldn't get into high school, let alone go to college.
Later, the college entrance examination system was restored It is my father's insistence that makes me unambiguous, so that I can finally use my own efforts to get out of the agricultural school and live a different life from him under the most fair and just system. I am also grateful that I grew up in a poor family. Although my father didn't emphasize words, he didn't lack examples, and he was very sensible from an early age. He has a strong self-esteem and self-discipline, and he is afraid that he can't do heavy farm work. He can't leave the farm without studying. Fortunately, "Everything comes to him who waits? My studies have been smooth sailing: five years in primary school, three years in junior high school and three years in senior high school, and my grades have been among the best. After eleven years of cold window, I finally got the university admission notice, rewritten my fate, and finally helped my father realize his dream of studying.
Shamefully, I have only known the hardships of farmers, jumped out of the farm and had no other lofty ideals. I should also inherit my father's knowledge that he is upright, practical, open-minded, ignorant of darkness, not good at crawling, not flattering, not knowing how to communicate with others, and looking down on others. Therefore, as a "favored son of heaven" in the 1980s, I have never understood it. After nearly 30 years, he is still silent, just the most ordinary teacher. The only thing I am proud of is being honest with each other, working hard, trying my best at the right age, living up to the conscience of the world and sleeping soundly at night. This is the best reward for my father.
Lala talks nonsense, saying that my father loves me like a mountain. Parents' kindness is nothing to repay their children all their lives, but I have never written anything for my father, let alone praised him face to face. I have always been dull and not used to saying good things face to face. But from the bottom of my heart, I have always admired his diligence, frugality and selflessness, his profound knowledge of literature and history, his ability to speak and write, his interest in life, his play and play, and his rigidity and agility in hard writing. As for the love for children, there has never been a special feeling, just a small matter, but it has always been fixed in the depths of memory. When I first went to Korea Normal University, my father went to visit me on a Sunday shortly after the start of school. Then, near noon, he walked through the block of the ancient city with an old umbrella. In a roadside shop, he made an exception and bought two bowls of steaming and delicious noodle soup. Every time I read Zhu Ziqing's Back, I read the station to buy oranges to see me off. My father's chubby body, faltering steps and clumsy movements.
There is an anonymous poem "To Father" that aroused my strong * * * I quote here: It is said that wind/can crack stones/rain/rust steel/bend your spine/only your will/persevere/never change/arouse the weight of the whole family/life.
Father, may you have knowledge under the spring and feel the gratitude and love that your daughter has never said! You don't need to search deliberately. When you mention it, it is full of bits and pieces of your voice and smile: no bow, no flattery, no affectation. Although he has a bad temper, he will soon disappear and will never be disappointed with life; Two poor bones support a family; Although poor, it is warm. I hope you can understand. On the weekend, I will definitely go back to my mother's house and send you three fragrant flowers. I hope that in another world, you are filled with fairy sounds and tea fragrance, love what you love and be happy!
20 17. 12. 12
Author | Sunshine and Rain Dew
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