The most authoritative dictionary defines the word "face" as a derogatory term. Then, according to common sense, the tone of my next text should almost be based on the rebuttal of this face-saving behavior. But before that, I want to know the following questions. Is face equal to reputation, or can they be equated under certain conditions or levels? Yes, according to the dictionary, face is nothing more than a superficial thing. If reputation is mentioned, it can also be understood as a superficial thing in the usual sense. But there seems to be something wrong here Even though they are superficial substances, their direct participants are often different. Face, as we generally understand it, is to support and create face for ourselves. And reputation seems to be the image of what you do in others, in society and in public opinion. However, if you think about it a little, in history, most people around us are others, and public opinion holds the opposite attitude towards their own reputation. Therefore, although we say that face and reputation belong to the surface, the essence is quite different. As a result, I came to the conclusion that face is not fame. People with reputation problems may not have face problems, and most people with face problems will not have a good reputation, so the conclusion will be clear by comparing the pros and cons. In this way, our correct value orientation will tell us that saving face is not a proper way. Do not rule out the voice and face of a respectable spokesperson. What kind of group, what kind of person, with a face shouting vulgar? If we simply discuss this issue, it may be a complicated sociological issue. I don't seem to have that ability, so I won't hold this face. This is a superficial analysis. Since the problem of "saving face" has been promoted to a social behavior, it should have a broader crowd base. In other words, it is undeniable that everyone in our society will save face under certain circumstances. Here, I define face as derogatory. However, there is naturally a degree difference between them, so some people with heavy degrees can be classified as representative groups of "face-saving people". There must be a typical image in it. Take it out and analyze it, and see "the lining of the face-teller". They are usually disadvantaged groups (in a broad sense) or self-disadvantaged groups, that is to say, they are not disadvantaged objectively, but are just positioned as disadvantaged. They are often exposed to the ways and means they define and are squeezed by non-vulnerable people. Trying to change but lacking the spirit of hard work and pragmatism. The popular expression is "punching a swollen face and filling a fat man". For this kind of people, we have naturally come into contact with them in our lives, so we will not refine them. So what is "saving face" and what are its specific aspects? Speaking of a superficial moral behavior defined as "saving face", it should also be the criterion of traditional moral values, that is to say, paying attention to superficial phenomena is not all vanity, it should be based on respect for morality, culture and etiquette, but it should also meet the requirements of proceeding from reality. Then, as "saving face", it is also an excessive exaggeration and tampering with objective facts. A most superficial or "face-saving" multi-faceted balance and even superiority. Of course, this is only a reflection of illusion and distortion. If we go deep into the inner world of "face-saving people", we will often find great contradictions and serious duality in their hearts, which will bring them long-term anxiety and anxiety after seeking short-term comfort. If we find out the root cause of this phenomenon, it should be objective and subjective. Objectivity is a difference. Subjectivity is based on objective distorted thoughts. Then there will be so-called self-weakness Therefore, "saving face" is completely defined as a bad mentality and phenomenon in my writing. As for the harm, it seems too extensive. I only remember the proverb: "Die to save face, live to suffer!" " 1) Respect is a sincere smile on your face; Respect is listening when others express different opinions; Respect is applauding the efforts of others. Respect seems to be dedicated to the people around you. We have all been educated by "Let pears in Kong Rong" since childhood, and we all know that we should give our seats to the elderly on the bus, and we should not laugh at and satirize the disabled. At first glance, this theory sometimes seems unreasonable. Why do you have to eat small pears when you are old? Why do I have to give up my seat when I am already very tired? Why can't you say what you think? In fact, the real truth is here: respecting others means respecting yourself. There is a saying called "Give me a peach and repay it with Qiong Yao", which means that if someone gives me a peach, I will repay it with Qiong Yao. The so-called reciprocity, in human society, you will get a reward for paying one point, no more, no less, and it will come true one day. This is the rule. Rules are equal to most people most of the time, so your respect and courtesy to others will leave a good impression on others, and then others will treat you like you. There is no such counterexample, is there? How can a cynical and arrogant crazy boy win the heartfelt respect of others? At most, it is to attract the curious eyes of the public with its own "rebellion" and "uniqueness". Respect is a great wisdom, because you know it, so you are compassionate. It is not difficult to respect the similarities between others and yourself. The excitement of meeting a bosom friend is enough to cover up the light of "respect" It's hard to respect the differences between others and yourself. You think smoking is harmful to health and pollutes the environment, but he regards it as an adjustment. He said that life should be positive and enterprising, fresh and strong, and you just want to live a quiet and comfortable life. Everyone is different, and there are thousands of differences. Respect is to look at each other objectively with appreciation, not asking for the same, but facing up to differences. Therefore, people who know how to respect others have realized the great wisdom of life. Therefore, elegant posture and calm behavior are because you have enough self-confidence to support yourself and enough tolerance to treat others. So it will be respected by others, because its noble and peaceful atmosphere is really attractive. Respect can make people feel happy and breathe smoothly. Respect can change strange or sharp relationships. If there is enough respect for each other, war is not inevitable. The ancients said that those who love others will always love others, and those who value others will always value others. Respect is not just for others. (2) Know how to respect No one wants to be respected by others, but not everyone knows how to respect others. As we all know, only by knowing how to respect others can we win their respect. A successful woman who became a manager told her story like this: A few years ago, she was only a temporary worker in an enterprise with a low salary, but her son asked for a football to play with his friends. The mother took great pains to explain to her son the difficulty of her lack of money. Soon her boss knew about it, gave her mother a brand-new football and said to her, "Although we can't give you a higher salary, you should understand that your position in our mind is very important." The woman was moved by this respectful remark. Since then, she has devoted all her intelligence to this enterprise and finally became a manager. Yes, any successful entrepreneur, from Kōnosuke Matsushita to Zhang Ruimin, always regards respecting employees and subordinates as the foundation of his career. They know very well that the subordinates will give the boss as much respect as the boss gives the subordinates. The same principle applies not only to running a business, but also to everything that everyone interacts with. If you show respect to others, others will think that he has a place in your heart and he is very important to you. In this case, except for a few despicable people, who is not grateful for this and does not regard him as a trustworthy friend? Parents respect their children's choices, and children can understand their parents' pains; Students respect the teacher's work, and the teacher will sincerely teach all the knowledge to the students; Merchants respect consumers' picky, and consumers have real trust in merchants. Respect others, and gain a lot. Some people don't know how to respect others and take what others do for themselves for granted. For these people, perhaps only when they lose the respect of others will they know how to respect the value of others. Last year, the department of a city in the south made a decision: all sanitation workers have a two-day holiday. As a result, the city's usually clean appearance disappeared, and piles of garbage were everywhere. Two days later, the amount of littering by citizens decreased significantly. They all said: they usually don't respect the hard work of sanitation workers, but now they finally know the value of respect. Yes, if you don't know how to respect others, you can't gain their respect, and finally you can't move. When we pay the taxi fare, say thank you more; Give us more applause when we finish listening to the performance; When the hotel doorman opens the door for us, smile more … learn to respect! When each of us knows how to respect others, our life will be more harmonious. (3) God's Gift Spring comes at the right time, and birds and flowers are singing in God's garden. God looked down at his people from the air and couldn't help thinking, "Why not give these people some gifts to show the grace of my God?" Soon, God chose three people from the world: a beggar who was displaced and begged on the roadside, a disabled person who had been ill since childhood and had been bedridden, and the last one was President Bush who took office in the White House. The three men were called before God, and God said, "I, the merciful God, will give each of you a gift so that you can be respected by mortals ... Well, choose your own gift!" Say what you want most. " God pointed to the beggar in rags. Beggars haven't figured out what's going on, but a sentence has escaped from their mouths subconsciously: "Money … a lot of money!" " "God granted his wish at once. God looked at the millionaire's back in the clouds and quickly merged into luxury, surrounded by a group of flattering clowns. The drugs handed over by the children soon dispersed his rich family wealth, and the children were scattered. Skinny beggars squatted on the edge of the original "site" begging, muttering that the gift of God was ineffective. God shook his head helplessly. "Alas, sincere respect is better than gold, where there is money to buy. "God secretly expects the next person to choose a good gift for himself." It's your turn! ""God looked up and saw the weak and the disabled. The disabled quickly said, "I have been disabled since I was a child. Look at my ghost, people around me treat me like a different kind! " I want a healthy body! "God was filled with joy, and with a wave of his hand, the disabled happily ran into the crowd. He finally held his head high, relying on his own strength and strength, bullying and dominating a country. As a result, he was thrown to the ground by an angry crowd and wanted to declare death ... The merciful God gave him another chance. The disabled people pondered for a long time, exchanged their healthy bodies for indomitable perseverance and disappeared into the crowd ... At this time, Bush was impatient and patted * * * to go back. God quickly asked, "don't you have anything you want?" Bush disdainfully said: "I am the captain of the United States, the sheriff of the world, and the hero in the eyes of the world." Will anyone still disrespect me? "I don't want anything!" "Then you can take one as a souvenir." God pointed to a pile of boxes in front of him. Bush picked up a box and wrote down "the memory of the Iraqi people", and a trace of pride crossed his face. As soon as Bush opened it, he saw a group of people denouncing themselves, and their ears were full of curses, "Give it back to my relatives!" " ""Give it back to my country! "He was overwhelmed by this avalanche of anger, unstable and fell into the clouds. God was about to take a closer look when he saw disabled people praying to him from a distance. The disabled person said that he no longer despised himself and doubted himself. He used his tenacious medical skills to relieve the suffering of countless people, and he also won the respect of countless people. The disabled person said, "I should thank God. With perseverance, I learned to live a sincere life: love myself and love others. ".Because of self-esteem, so self-improvement, because of love, so be loved. Now, I want to share the dignity of life and the vastness of love with you. "God smiled knowingly. (4) Talking about respecting the cloud in The Book of Songs: "Give me papaya to repay my kindness to Joan." This kind of reciprocity since ancient times reflects the due respect between people. Of course, respect is not only a gift, but also a word, a look and an action can reflect our respect for others. It should be said that mutual respect is the basis of normal communication between people and one of the basic qualities that people should possess. Regardless of age, status and wealth, everyone has the right to be respected. Doesn't that beggar who would rather die than eat from scratch show how important respect is to a person? The same story happened in different times and produced different results, because people gave different respect. There was an old beggar begging from a middle-aged man. The middle-aged man searched all over his body, but found no change. Feeling guilty, he held the old beggar's hand tightly and said, "Brother, I really don't have any extra money. Sorry. " At this moment, tears have blurred the old beggar's eyes. From these clenched hands and friendly names, he felt unprecedented understanding and respect. People are the same. Don't look at things with power. We should always remember that respecting others is a virtue. Just like the interaction of forces in mechanics, respect is mutual. Respecting others means respecting yourself, and your words and deeds are the embodiment of your connotation. When you treat others with due respect, your good quality and image will be displayed in front of people, and others will certainly give you the same respect, which is particularly important at work. As a boss, the best way to keep employees is to treat them equally except for the salary increase, and give your employees due respect so that they can work in your company without pressure and peace of mind. Didn't Liu Bang almost lose this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity because of his insolence to Han Xin? On the contrary, Liu Bei's visit to the humble abode and worship of Zhuge Liang earned Zhuge Liang's lifelong efforts to revive the Han Dynasty, leaving a good word that he died before he could conquer it. Liu Bei's ability as a good corporal is admired by the world. It can be seen how important respect is for a person and even a country. Respecting others and being kind to others is the foundation of your foothold in society. Respect is mutual. If you respect others, others will respect you. (5) How to gain the respect of others. In this world, except a few lonely or eccentric people, everyone expects to be recognized by others. And a higher level of recognition is respect. It is a wonderful process from obscurity to being respected by everyone. Some people have tried their best, but they still can't get it. Some people inadvertently gain the respect of others. In fact, respect is not unattainable, but some people pursue respect in the wrong way. The other day, I heard an advertisement made by a Japanese company for its new car. One sentence impressed me deeply, "You should respect bullying." I think this kind of car is probably powerful and superior in performance. It can cross the road, and other cars are avoiding it, so there will be such a slogan. Such people seem to be in the minority in the real society. Or powerful, domineering over others, or relying on many buddies and friends to run amok. Seeing that people are afraid, shrinking and afraid to speak out, these people become complacent and think they have been respected. In fact, they are the most annoying and unrecognized. Did you find that once a "overbearing" car broke down and stopped at the side of the road, and the domineering person was investigated and even jailed by the public security, but the people around him enjoyed it. People who want to gain respect in this way will eventually be spurned. Besides, there seems to be another kind of person among us. They smile every day, flatter everyone, and sometimes even grandstanding. Or punch your face and pretend to be fat, as if you know everything and have everything to do with it, and you always like to show off everywhere. However, their evaluation in the crowd does not seem to be high. Like the "overbearing" people in front of them, they misinterpreted the original meaning of respect. What people really respect is a man with real talent and learning. People will respect you only if they think you are really good at something, better than them and better than them. The range that people can respect is varied. We respect a cobbler because of his superb skills, warm service attitude and helpful spirit. We respect a scholar because of his profound knowledge, his excellent eloquence and even his excellent communication skills. Respected and powerful officials, courteous and hospitable students and well-informed travelers abound. As long as you don't show off your advantages or even bully others, you just face yourself with a normal heart and do what an ordinary person should do. Then before long, you will feel the respectful eyes of everyone around you. (VI) Respect for Articles China is a state of etiquette, which has accumulated thousands of years of culture. "Respect" naturally has a lot of attention. Father, brother and younger brother are respected, the right is respected and the world is respected. When you invite people to dinner, you also pay attention to your position, and your priorities are clear. Even people who walk respectfully should walk in front, and the people behind will bow and scrape. There are too many customs of "respect". Everything pays attention to the principle of moderation, and once it passes, it is difficult to accept it. The same is true of "respect". Although thousands of years of customs in China pay attention to courtesy and respect, they may go too far and distort the original intention of respect. There is such a thing that a person was promoted to assistant to the mayor, and everyone respected him and called him mayor. This person is uncomfortable to use, but it is not easy to refute others' faces. Just call it that. People are also difficult. Every time they go out to do business, a large group of people take the bus, and you push me. These are all your invitations. This is very polite, and it is a waste of time. Of course, in the end, the honour person comes first. It seems that China people express their respect for others through these two words-politeness. Politeness is expressed by words and actions. What about the heart? Is it true respect? We don't know. In many cases, superficial respect is made, but in fact, jealousy is burning inside. It's not hard to understand those people who fall when they are down, who are full of honey and swords. People use respect to make masks to paralyze others, so they laugh behind the masks, stab people in the back and plot against others. So the unit is always divided into several factions, everyone has a small plan, and leaders often change (anonymous letters), which doesn't matter. The unit is stagnant, unable to produce, and getting worse, but the surface is still kind. In this way, in a few days, they all became laid-off workers. Some people can say that they have perfected this practice of honoring you as a guest of honor and scolding you behind your back, but what's the use of this practice? Who benefits and who suffers? A clear-headed person can tell at a glance. Regarding respect, I just want to say don't always make a fuss about it on the surface. Many people in China give foreigners the first impression of hospitality. Can get along for a long time, many foreigners will send out the idea that China people are not very good. What happened? It's just that things are not what they seem. Respect, China people have done a lot on the surface, but what about inside? It should also be unified! Respect, don't be satisfied with greeting the teacher every day, say "please" every time you do something, and don't praise others for wanting to find a plastic bag every time. Sincerely understand others, see the advantages of others, especially respect the ordinary people around them from the heart, because they have their own greatness and deserve respect. Please sincerely respect everyone around you! Don't worry, it's simple. Suppose the composition is easy to do, see how your thinking is developed! Think more about hypothetical questions and compare them with many classmates, relatives, friends, brothers and sisters in reality. How do they treat face? What you just did was an act of saving face.

Face is something that everyone has, something that everyone is crazy about. Maybe everyone won't believe what I'm going to say next, and they will think that my pen is "poor" and I can't find anything to write before writing this thing. In my opinion, face is a super curse! Everyone's life is led by one thing, and that thing is face. No matter what kind of creature, even the gods in the sky have their own faces. Face is something that can be easily picked up but difficult to put down. Some people can let go, because those people are extraordinary. Ordinary people can't do it, and the bigger the position in officialdom, the harder it is to do it. Some officials must have a deep understanding of this. Some people feel that they can't get out of this tone if they lose face, so that evil thoughts arise from their hearts and try their best to kill those who lose face. This is why many good friends turn against each other and kill each other for face. For example, I read a reportage about attempted murder in Zhiyin magazine: two people were close friends, and one of them had some obstacles that were considered shameful to some extent, but once that friend accidentally told his secret in public, and the leaker became angry from embarrassment. When he got home, he became more and more angry and hated the friend who humiliated him in front of others. That time was full of murder and murder, so the man called his friend who humiliated him and pretended to invite him to dinner at home. This friend didn't know that there was a catastrophe, and he was finally killed by that man's crazy sword ... For example, the emperor in the TV series "Rude Princess" almost killed his brother in order to protect the royal face. Is this face important? I don't think so. A disgraced person does not mean a callous person. More importantly, in some cases, you may lose face. People should be able to afford it and not be fascinated by a hateful face. Everybody says, right?