In this case, it is conceivable that the journey is impossible to be easy.
When I am rarely happy, watching the clouds on the plane and seeing the hotel room is more comfortable than I expected (but I soon found that even heaven, I don't have time to enjoy it, in fact, its practical value is very low).
In fact, there are all kinds of bad luck these days. The plane was two hours late (I talked to three Cambodian businessmen, and one of them said he was depressed, but he felt a little better when he saw us laughing. In fact, we were quite depressed at that time. I was forced to listen to several boring reports this morning. The incident of "bypassing Hilton" happened in the evening, which made me realize the unfair treatment of "poor people are cheap" again.
The most dramatic thing is the dinner. An unknown brother found me, came to say hello, and then sat with me and my two younger brothers. Then, one morning, a China man I met when I was a doctoral student in Canada came to join us in the fun. In addition, one person has a chance to eat at noon and one person has a chance to eat at night. A group of people are talking about scientific research. As a result, my brother was well informed and revealed a lot of inside information about our hospital and even our group that I didn't know, which made me extremely shocked. After eight years in science and engineering, I didn't even know. I was shocked by both the inside story and "I don't know".
That Canadian doctor wants to ask about my scientific research results. I didn't want to say it at first, but then I had no choice but to say it. Finally, I am afraid that the despised and trampled dialogue will never be forgotten (if you don't want to remember it, you won't write it). And I have to laugh (later I can't laugh, and I was told to be happy). Your sister). The more I talk about it, the more I feel that this person's thinking circuit is like a small boss, his tone of voice is like that, his style is like that, and his estimated age is like that, but he is more enthusiastic than the small boss. The logic of speaking is "no, no, I don't despise you, you have no problem", and the next sentence is "you can't find a job, so shit". "Find a bad job first. It's better to do well than to marry well. It's the right way to rely on men.". I can only ha ha, feel sorry for my lack of strength to refute him. Of course, when I come out to mix the society in the future, I will only bow more and less.
There is also the most terrible news-in the afternoon, Q received a message saying that 1 would reply on the 2nd. I didn't go back to school until the evening of the 30th, so I had to ask my classmates to hand in their papers to the teachers of the defense committee. Moreover, in this case, the preliminary defense and the revision of the paper according to the blind trial results are all gone. Worst of all, I haven't finished my thesis and PPT. Especially papers, should be finalized before delivery. I wanted to take a nap this afternoon, but I had to finish writing that damn paper. I finally skipped the contradiction that "the strength of M-O bond will lead to abnormal enhancement of interface polarization", and ignored the fucking reference and explained it with my own ideas.
It's really enough to feed on scientific research.
Tonight, Young knocked on the door looking for me, looking worried. I'm afraid they will tell me, "Sister, we've decided to transfer/drop out/change tutors/…". Not bad (? ) no, alas, seeing them, I'm really worried that they are as worried about their fate as I am, just like Brother zgh and I are. I didn't expect even my lovely sister jgl to do scientific research, so I was unhappy. Chatting with my senior sisters, I found that their thoughts were the same as mine a year ago. I thought only a wonderful person who failed in scientific research like me would think so.
I am so sleepy that I have to work. I hope I can successfully pass the defense. Let me leave school. Unemployment is unemployment. I wanted to take time tomorrow night to go to the legendary "a tree" with my two sisters. As a result, my sister jgl wanted to play with her friends, and she was afraid that she would not come back at night. If you only go with my school sister zhy, there is a feeling that there is one person missing from Cornus officinalis.
I rather doubt whether there is at least mild depression now. .
Today is the second day of the meeting. May 28th. I changed my paper last night. I thought I would change it and send it to my boss last night anyway, but by 3: 30, especially when I found that the magnetism of Eu even had to be considered, I was so sleepy that I couldn't think of it. I went to bed and fell asleep. Get up in the morning and keep changing. Halfway through the computer script, I got a call from the scarf saying that they were going to deliver the paper this afternoon. I thought shit didn't even have time to correct the paper. I had to write down my thanks in a hurry, and I quickly corrected the places with big holes in my impression and handed them in. Besides, the letter of self-criticism hasn't come back yet, so I don't know what my opinion will be. ...
I feel very uneasy that I didn't show it to the small boss before finalizing it. In addition, because I want to ask some specific questions about sending papers, I call my sister mwj. The final conclusion is that the small boss should have no big problem. Because the teacher urged them to change and let go of all kinds of malicious words, but in fact, they mainly changed the research background and didn't change much about the result analysis (and the result analysis in Chapter 6 is what I feel most discouraged); What happened to me was completely different. I took the initiative to revise it, but the teacher never mentioned it. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. The teachers of the defense committee seldom ask about the details, except for a fellow teacher who asks very tricky questions every year.
But I still don't know.
In addition, in the process of writing my thesis, I am also wondering if I am really asking too much of myself. Looking through other people's similar papers, there are basically few profound explanations as I ask myself and answer myself. It's all simple and vague words.
It suddenly occurred to me that it is not good for me to write these bad ideas in such detail. Because as a doctoral student, this experience is really shameful. In case another group of scientific research winners see it, it is estimated that it will be endless ridicule. "Never tell the truth in a panic" is a professor's advice to doctoral students. Although I try my best to pay attention, I often accidentally leak it, such as last night. ...
I chatted with jgl Younger yesterday, only to find out that I am a diligent and reliable teacher and sister in her impression. Inside the cow's face ...
I went to a meeting today. /kloc-take the bus at 0: 30, and start listening. I listened to six reports, some of which were good and some were boring. Someone explained how to prepare high-quality ferroelectric thin films in a simple way. In addition to experiments, he also simulated the electric field distribution of waveguides made of ferroelectric materials. I would like to ask what method is used in the calculation and why the dielectric constant has nothing to do with frequency (this may be a mental retardation problem. But I remember that constants are highly sensitive to frequency), and then I was embarrassed to strike up a conversation (and I didn't quite understand the significance of electric field distribution in the waveguide). The rest is basically irrelevant. The more I read yesterday's report list, especially those related to iron, the more I regret not attending the lecture yesterday. I'm really sorry about my intestines. At that time, I should have brought my laptop to the meeting and answered the phone at any time, instead of staying in the hotel (and then suddenly said that I didn't need to send a paper, and I regretted it even more). If God had given me a chance, I would have listened to the report yesterday instead of sitting there sad today.
Today is the last day of the meeting, and there are few people. At 3: 30 in the afternoon, I confirmed that I really didn't want to hear anything, so I started to do PPT. I feel the quality is worrying. However, seeing that so many doctoral students are going to graduate this year, and the big boss actually said that there is no need to send papers (which really surprised me), there are some people who are more talented than me, and I am not worried that they will fail, then I can't have any problems. You must finish it today and memorize it tomorrow, so that you can practice before you reply. Don't stutter in your defense.
There are several negative examples when watching others talk today. One is a very attractive report, a doctor in Nagoya (seems to be a professor? ), his accent is a bit heavy, which is not a problem. The problem is that I don't know why. On average, there are five or six "so" in each sentence, which are inserted in a completely incomprehensible position, just like the "er" of Hong Kong people and the "er" and "ah" of mainlanders. The frequency is so high that it keeps interrupting my thoughts, so that even if I don't want to give up some topics, interesting content and interesting pictures related to my major, I still can't help but leave. There is also a doctoral student, if I am not mistaken, studying in a university in the Middle East. This person's English is quite good, he has no accent and is fluent, but the whole person has been shaking and shaking, which seriously interferes with my PPT reading. I'm leaving after reading three or four pages. What a German doctoral student did was very interesting. She talked about using magnetic nano-materials as logic units, and I went in halfway. She spoke very fast and I was a little tired. There is also a Malaysian who talks about nano-membrane water treatment, and his accent is a bit obvious. Almost all words are stressed on the last syllable, which is completely different from the standard pronunciation. Originally, the subject was an unfamiliar field, and only the contents of popular science could be understood. Fortunately, his thinking is clear and he speaks fluently, which helps to understand.
At the same time, I think others are very powerful. Why can so many people listen to some reports and even burst into laughter with the humor of the speaker?
Also, I thought about it, but it's okay (? ) I didn't report, and my English level didn't last that long, and I regressed to the point of failure. Compared with them, the gap is extremely obvious. I've eaten almost all my money, so I have to go back to the furnace. I have tested the number of words before, and the number is terrible. . . It's embarrassing. Stop it. And people with the same academic level as me are generally 15 thousand. The windfall is that I feel that my pronunciation is better than many people, but my vocabulary is too small and my fluency is worrying. . . And their pronunciation is poor and understandable, so I don't have to be confident in pronunciation at all. I feel that my study plan has been decided, and I was a little happy at first.
Being young, I feel that he is very conceited. At some point, I really admire him. I jumped from two unheard-of books to a master's degree in CUHK, and now I am doing better than me, which surprised me. Finally, I understand how surprised they were when they learned that I had studied at CUHK University for nine years but didn't get any results, because people did better than me in undergraduate courses. See how well he can mix with everyone, and his professional knowledge is very clear (I don't understand his direction, and I can't tell whether others are pretending or learning). I am speechless. Today, I heard a professor from Taiwan Province Province talk about polar organic thin films. My brother asked a question that sounded particularly stupid and boring to me (anyway, I certainly wouldn't ask such offensive words in such a rude tone). When I wanted to join, I was shy. What a sharp contrast. However, my brother is magically like a duck to water. . Once again, I saw that my interpersonal skills were so weak that my blood was boiling. It's really "being a man in advance" ... a profound lesson.
When I was eating alone at night, I met a professor ("half" because I felt that he didn't really want to bird me), or the other party took the initiative to strike up a conversation. I am too speechless to myself. . . I won't find anyone unless they come to me. The people I met this time all accosted each other. . I'm shy. . . No wonder it's so miserable.
By the way, I planned to go to the "One Tree" observation deck with my sister last night. My sister mentioned my brother, so we invited him to go with us. As a result, a tree died in the pit, which was extremely boring. Super boring. The three of us went back very disappointed. Never go without going there.
And I was bursting with negative energy the night before (the key point was that the blogger ridiculed me that "you don't have to submit your resume, and the other person just threw it in the trash can without reading it"). Later, I thought that the blogger might have no malice, but he had nothing to say and didn't want to say anything against his will, so the speaker didn't listen, and it might not be as bad as I said. I'd better be generous, or I'll have to face myself if I want to take back my bad words to others. . And too fragile. I'm tired of being taken care of.
Today, Younger saw that my laptop was heavy and offered to help me move it. I refused for a long time, but I am grateful. I used to worry that I was not good at getting along with her, but now I feel a little embarrassed. After talking to Younger about her situation, I suddenly understood why her style and personality are like this. Just communicate more. Be nice to your senior sister in the future.
Generally speaking, although the meeting was generally unpleasant, it was very useful. Just like my first trip to Hong Kong, there are some bleak realities that you must face directly. You can't hide your ears or look at the sky. In the face of those taunts, I began to defy spirit. Perhaps it is the so-called "death has an afterlife".