There are two sides to life. Our life is very interesting. The inheritance of life is the fusion of positive energy and negative energy, and so is the combination of human beings. Psychologically speaking, fatherly love represents positive energy; The negative energy represented by motherhood. And our life comes from the fusion of these two energies, forming our new life.
Treat the two parts of life as a real person. At the same time, give these two parts a space to install. The most typical feature of endless life is to look at the whole.
Positive psychology, many people will also be influenced by positive psychology, but positive psychology also has its limitations. It looks at the front, but it is not real or panoramic. And some traditional healing, only focusing on trauma and pain, is not enough. The road to the fish's eye, yin and yang, we look at the whole, this is true. The most important thing is that we can embrace this truth.
See two sides of a whole, see two parts of a real person's life, and give these two parts a room to accommodate.
Family comes first. Life walking on the earth is a great warrior. All souls, whether qualified or unqualified parents, deserve to be understood and respected. Who did we choose as our parents when we came into this world? Or did parents choose us as their children? Spiritually, it is a little soul reborn on the earth.
There must be some lessons in his life that he needs to continue to experience and finish. In other words, who should be our parents is our own choice as small souls. In the family order, parents are given the status of respect, which is also the choice of respecting the soul. From a systematic point of view, it is to return to your own order and respect this order, no matter how parents end up.
In the family system, parents pass on their lives to us. When we have this life, we can pursue our dreams and explore ourselves in this world, including hating our parents. Everything is the foundation. The basis of this love-hate relationship comes from our parents who gave us life, and from a spiritual point of view, it is because our souls chose such parents to experience these things.
Reconciliation with parents, learn to forgive, from the perspective of forgiveness and understanding, the first thing to forgive is yourself, followed by parents. We have established a connection with the energy of our ancestors, and the integration of our energy with our parents and families has gained a steady stream of strength. We will instantly feel that we are people with backgrounds and backers, and the feeling of strength and love behind us will arise spontaneously.
1. Don't pretend, that is, don't pretend that your parents are perfect and don't deceive yourself. In essence, pretending is not defending parents. Not deliberately suppressing yourself is actually an acceptance. Don't ask for moral restraint, don't convince yourself, inherit the wind.
2. Admit that your parents are not perfect, admit on the basis of not pretending, and further admit that you don't get what you want from your parents. Everyone's expectations will be different, and the requirements for parents will be different. Allow yourself to express your emotions and accept your biological parents. Allow parents to be imperfect, and also allow yourself to be imperfect as a parent. We no longer need to prove that we are better parents than our parents, and finally get rid of the anxiety of pursuing perfect parents.
Don't complain all the time, you can complain to your parents, and it doesn't matter if you hate them. Because this kind of complaint, this kind of hatred, this real feeling of being hurt, when I fully express it, we can realize that our parents are also real people, so that we can get back the responsibility in life.
We have a lot of emotions. The soldiers are complaining. What does isolation come from? We all expect each other to be perfect parents, so we focus on one side. Many things our parents have done have not satisfied our desires, or made us feel only hurt.
There's another side that we haven't seen. They are ordinary people, and their parents have other faces. Father's love is severe, but there is also warmth behind it. Motherly love has nagging, but there is also concern behind it. As children, we often just notice that they are our parents, and we have many demands on our parents. We expect our parents to satisfy all our wishes. In fact, they are all emotional projections to our parents.
But in fact, in addition to our parents, they also have an identity role, an ordinary person, and a level, with emotion, pain, helplessness, but also advantages and disadvantages, an imperfect person. Finally, there is the relationship with Ai, the father-son relationship, and the separation and integration. Timing effect Don't measure others with your cognition.
When we look at the world with colored glasses, the whole world is the color of your lens. This is what psychology often calls the projection effect, which imposes one's own cognition on others. A kind-hearted person will think that others are kind.
A person who often calculates others always feels that others are hiding countless backstabbing, and always beware of others. A person who haggles over every ounce often feels that others are stingy. Projection effect is a serious cognitive psychological deviation, which also exists everywhere in interpersonal relationships.
When we understand what the projection effect is, then we are inexplicably hated at ordinary times, and we know that the other party has projected us into one of his enemies, so we don't have to care too much. Or we hate someone inexplicably, then we should jump out of this projection effect and not hate those innocent people. Like a person is the same, but also pay attention. Is this projection or true love?
When the universality of mother's relationship really encounters a great situation in order to promote her recovery, Ai people are more tolerant than men and women, just like the earth, so one thing about negative energy is tolerance and tolerance. Then let's experience the feeling of the earth, which is a mother-like force. Mom will bring us this feeling, gentleness, acceptance, tolerance … these are all negative energy. Heal the relationship with your mother and awaken the negative energy in your heart.
Motherhood is an acceptance, tolerance and virtue. Is dedication, is to pay, in our China culture, the traditional China culture mother is often a family that pays a lot, for the sake of children, for the sake of her husband, who silently pays a lot. Why are we getting closer? The relationship between father and father is related to many things in our lives. The core words of the relationship with father are: sense of strength, courage and creativity.
Especially in career and wealth, people who have a good relationship with their fathers will feel more powerful. If the relationship with his father is not good, and the psychological relationship is not good, he presents a fragile heart, loneliness and fear. One reason why we need to repair our relationship with our father is that it can make us feel stronger, give us the power we should have, or activate it.