It is very common for middle school students to fall in love at present. It is said that the proportion of middle school students in big cities such as Beijing is above 60%. In fact, we don't need to look at such figures. If we pay a little attention in life, we will find that "little lovers" are everywhere. The emergence of this problem naturally has its inevitability. Recently, I read several related articles on the Internet, and found that the teachers who studied this issue were very enthusiastic. They commented on the causes and effects of puppy love among middle school students. However, due to the limitations of teachers themselves, there are many misunderstandings in the research process. Here are two examples:

Many teachers think that what middle school students should do is to study hard and improve themselves. When they have jobs and income in the future, they can naturally enjoy better fruits of love, saying, "I have buttonwood trees at home, but I am afraid I can't recruit golden phoenix?" Of course, we are not saying that this view is wrong, but middle school students are often simple and do not consider the purpose and reality of love. If we realize that we can't fall in love now because we are imperfect, have no job and no income, wouldn't that inject love impurities into our pure feelings? Here, I dare say that the so-called love and marriage of rich and powerful adults is mostly a routine, a choice after weighing interests, rather than showing true feelings. This is the inevitable result of being trapped by the secular wall. Mr. Zhu Guangqian said that for love, if such a thing involves one point, the innocence of love will be reduced by one point. So this view is not desirable and not very convincing.

Some teachers believe that the main reason why middle school students fall in love is that with the germination of their own sexual consciousness, they begin to feel mysterious about the opposite sex (mainly referring to the body) and lack sex education. At this time, they are tempted by some books and networks, have sexual impulses, and are eager to find heterosexual partners, leading to puppy love. This statement is the product of completely western linear thinking mode, and I really beg to differ. Because from this point of view, heterosexual couples seem to be the object of venting, and the phenomenon of puppy love is more common. However, sexual deviance is rare. Because of the mystery of the opposite sex, it is difficult to make sense to go to puppy love. Wang Changling said in Forever in My Heart: I suddenly saw the willow color on a stranger's head and regretted teaching my husband to find the Marquis. Has this boudoir young woman, now the age of middle school students, also been affected by anything bad? It can be seen that this feeling is natural and normal.

It can be seen that although the teachers are enthusiastic, the education system has fixed them into strict and rigid private school teachers, and it is difficult to really understand the students. It takes a person who tied the bell to untie the bell. This problem needs our middle school students to explore, study and think for themselves.

The problem of puppy love among middle school students is like a flood, which comes suddenly and fiercely. Schools, families and society naturally have to think of countermeasures. It is really unwise to be blocked by high walls in reality. We know that at present, we should learn to divert floods, and we can also store water to generate electricity. The more water is blocked, the more it overflows, and then a vicious circle is formed, and the reality is no exception. In the past, the feudal dynasty suppressed the peasant uprising, but it revived like a flood; If the head is a chicken, it is better to make a decree to win over the rabble and make it a "regular army." Naturally, we can calm things down. This is the reason why the problem of middle school students falling in love is becoming more and more rampant today. (However, as long as there is a feudal dynasty, there will be peasant uprisings, and the first day can't escape from the fifteenth. So what is the court behind the "puppy love" rebellion, we will discuss it later)

First of all, we should know that the phenomenon of middle school students falling in love is reasonable. (Don't worry, everyone, let's analyze it slowly. ) Far away, a hundred years ago, I am afraid that all middle school students are now "married", so it is normal for people of this age to be in love seeds; There is also a saying that existence is reasonable, which is quite correct. Because "reason" is found in what exists, existence must be reasonable, not to mention universal. This may be unexpected to many people, but it is reasonable. (We will explain the reasons below)

Since it is a reasonable existence, its influence must have a good side and a bad side. Teachers gnash their teeth when it comes to the influence of puppy love, and they hate it and think it is harmful and useless. Because puppy love students often waste their time on "loveliness", even when they are studying in class, they are also concerned about each other, which leads to unintentional learning and declining grades; Moreover, puppy love often leads to contradictions and conflicts between classmates, and even violent incidents, which bring serious harm to students' body and mind.

There are many such examples, but let's imagine that students are still young, full of feelings and innocent. This is a good opportunity for them to learn to be grateful and love each other. If we can make use of the vague and pure feelings between boys and girls, let students go out of their own circles and learn to love others, students of the opposite sex can help each other, learn from each other's strong points and make progress together, which will not neglect their studies and hurt their bodies and minds, but also satisfy their emotional development. Some people may say: this can't be called puppy love, because it is not the same as "love" in the true sense. Puppy love can be regarded as the deformity of the development of this pure classmate relationship, so many people call for distinguishing this emotional word from the normal friendship of the opposite sex (but for the convenience of understanding, we call it "puppy love" for the time being, and the puppy love with the wrong development direction is called "deformed puppy love").

We know that it is right for middle school students to feel this way, because they can develop in a good direction. Since most puppy love often develops into abnormal puppy love (or the teacher will not veto puppy love), there must be a reason, and the direct reasons are as follows:

Internal reasons: vanity and wrong concept of honor and disgrace lead to false self-feeling caused by puppy love, which in turn leads to girlfriends competing with each other or related violent incidents; Poor sense of responsibility and low moral level lead to an attitude towards puppy love and dare not be responsible for the feelings of both parties and the damage caused.

External reasons: influenced by love books, film and television works and adult love. For example, when Princess Zhu Huan was broadcast a few years ago, many teenagers began to imitate it crazily; There is also the loneliness of the only child in family life, which has an insurmountable generation gap with the previous generation. There is no emotional communication between peers, leading to puppy love.

So what is the root cause of abnormal puppy love? It is students' weak interest in learning, and such "foreign objects" can easily distract their attention. Confucius said: when you are young, you should stop being bloody. Students have good learning opportunities. If they have a strong interest in learning, they can strengthen their faith, cherish time consciously and not waste their youth. If good and evil do not invade, there will be no time to miss him or her in study, no abnormal puppy love at the expense of study, and of course there will be no temptation to put the cart before the horse or create boring violence. Only in this way can we correctly handle our emotional development needs and normalize the friendship between male and female students.

Of course, this situation can't be entirely attributed to our students. The fundamental reason is the education system. The ruthless exam-oriented education model leads to students' low interest in learning and shallow understanding of learning. This is the "feudal dynasty" behind it The deformed puppy love of middle school students, like the peasant uprising, is both a rebellion and a feudal society. This is the helplessness of reality itself.

Knowing the reasons of middle school students' puppy love, it is ridiculous to look back at the way teachers deal with the problem of deformed puppy love. It is useless to blindly block it, which is against human nature. Therefore, it is necessary to correctly guide and use students' feelings, just like diverting water to generate electricity, so that students can know how to think rationally and weigh the advantages and disadvantages. This is the most sensible way to deal with it at present. As for the eradication of deformed puppy love, let's wait until we have the strength to overthrow the dynasty of exam-oriented education!