Looking at these excellent college entrance examination narratives, they show the following characteristics: 1. The language is vivid. 2. The characters are full and lively. 3. The narrative is ups and downs. 4. The emotion is sincere and moving. On the contrary, candidates will make many mistakes in writing narratives, mainly as follows: 1. The author lacks descriptions of portraits, language, psychology, movements, etc. , so the characters appear shriveled; 2. The narrative is too dull, without emotion and without touching power; 3. The expression is too monotonous, just like boiled water, insipid and tasteless.
So, how can we write an excellent narrative?
First, multi-angle description method
The so-called multi-angle description method refers to the comprehensive use of various description techniques to observe and describe the narrative object in many aspects, so that the image of the scenery characters is intuitive and three-dimensional For example:
General Blake stood on the kitchen table and looked at me with dignity. The rope on his leg had already been broken. It makes a proud cry, high-pitched, loud and crisp, but it has the trend of tigers whistling in the mountains and forests. ..... I approached it. It gave me a provocative look, jumped at the window and jumped down. (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: Description of existing expressions: "Look at it with dignity" and "Look at it defiantly"; There is also a voice description: "Make a proud cry, with a high tone, loud voice and crisp"; There is also an action description: "jump jump". Although it is only a few crosses, through multi-angle description, the image of a brave and fearless rooster who does not yield to fate is vividly on the paper, and its spirit of refusing mediocrity can not help but make people respect.
Example 2: I turned to leave, but my father still stood silently at the door, standing on tiptoe and looking at his son. "Don't forget to call home more often, remember, pay attention to your health ..." (2011Shandong examinee "The world needs you")
Comments: The father's expression is "silent", the action of "standing on tiptoe" reveals his reluctance to the children, while the language description shows his concern for the children. The description from three angles is step by step, vividly writing out the father's emotional changes. Describe true, natural and touching.
Ex. 3: In front of the crimson platform, there are three shallow stone steps. A family's domestic cat lies lazily on the stone steps, enjoying the mild sunshine before noon. Occasionally, when the breeze blows, the old cat will gently stir the beard on his face with his front paws, make a meow, and then roll down and fall asleep. (20 1 1 Guangdong candidates "back to the original point")
Comments: Warm, peaceful and quiet pictures come from vivid and delicate descriptions. The cat is the center of this painting. It lay lazily on the stone steps, gently fiddling with its beard, meowing and falling asleep. There are expressions, movements and sounds. There is movement and stillness, both in form and spirit.
Ex. 4: Mr. Wang has no other hobbies, so he has to take a few sips of wine. One cup for every meal, without exception. I remember when I was eating at the dinner table, my husband looked at the small mouth left in the cup and said thoughtfully, "Oh, there is only one small mouth left. To drink or not to drink is a question. " Then the gentleman waved his hand again: "That's it, drink!" "I turned to say that I will honor you in the future, only to see my husband muttering," Next time you want to drink this meal, there will be hope for your life! "I laughed a lot. (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: A few words show a humorous and inconspicuous dazzling image, and the language is refined, showing the author's extraordinary language ability. My "smile" is an indirect description, which further sets off the image.
Time gradually gave me the power to miss and forget. Before, I thought I couldn't understand him. Now I think my father is like a emerald leaf with a misty back. Turn it over and the context will be clearly presented. Now superimposed with the past, I remember that morning a few years ago, he told me that sunflowers had no tears. And I still stood in tears, waiting for his wet warm hug. (20 1 1 Hunan examinee "Sunflowers Without Tears")
Comments: "Now I feel that my father is like a green leaf with a misty back. Turn it over and the context is clearly presented to me. " Beautiful metaphors vividly describe my psychological feelings, while "tears streaming down my face" directly describes my feelings. Psychological description and expression description, inside and outside, truly wrote "I" for my father's guilt, but also wrote my love for my father, which was sincere and touching to read.
Tracking training 0 1 Please choose one of the ancient poets, use your imagination, describe it and write a paragraph on the topic of "persistence". Requirements: Use multi-angle description.
Second, the fluctuation method
"The text seems to look at the mountains and don't like peace", and the narrative should not be straightforward. The so-called ups and downs means that narrative methods such as interpolation and flashback can be used in narrative, or writing techniques such as suspense, ambush and cadence can be used to make the narrative process full of twists and turns and fascinating. For example;
Example 1. The window penetrated Chu Xiao, Rizhao West Bridge. Pursuing a ray of light, he opened his eyes wearily. "The father of the child! You can wake up! " The wife at the bedside said excitedly. Looking around, there are people standing around, but there seems to be nothing he is looking for. He asked anxiously, "Children, children ..." (201kloc-0/Shanghai examinee "Heart Rain")
Comments: At the beginning, flashback technique is used to set suspense and attract readers' interest in reading. It avoids the monotony of narrative and makes the plot of the article ups and downs and fascinating. Enhanced the vividness of the article.
This is an unusual chicken. ..... it began to struggle, even though its legs were tied. ... it gave me a provocative look, jumped at the window and jumped down. ..... It is like an eagle, flying luxuriously, landing and leaving leisurely. (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: The narrative of this incident can be described as ups and downs, because the process of this chicken's escape is full of twists and turns. And the author also gave a vivid and detailed description of this. In addition, the chicken finally managed to escape, which can be said to be both unexpected and unexpected. Because "unusual" and "provocative" have paved the way for the ending.
When the beard appeared again, it attracted many people. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is my work." Said and pulled down the cloth on my body. "Ah ... stone monkey!" Beard opened his mouth wide. (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: The unexpected result changed the established development track of the story, which not only surprised the people in the story, but also made the readers enjoy the psychological surprise brought by the ups and downs of the narrative.
Follow-up training 02 Please write a paragraph on the topic of "Curiosity" combined with the skills of setting suspense.
Third, the combination of narrative and discussion.
A narrative, if only narrative and description, without accurate discussion, the article will be dull and powerless. The so-called combination of narration and discussion is to set one or two appropriate sentences behind the words described and described, so as to collect points, deduct points, deepen the theme and sublimate feelings.
Postscript: Magnificent arms can't bear the weight of years, and all things that can't be forgotten can only be crossed first, and then suddenly wake up at some point in life. Life is always between forgetting and remembering, which makes people grow. (20 1 1 Shanghai examinee "Heart Rain")
Comments: Postscript after the text, the finishing touch, flashing philosophy, every word epigram, full of appeal. Not only deduced the topic, but also deepened the theme and sublimated the feelings.
Exodus 2. It rejects mediocrity and transcends mediocrity with its own efforts. It belongs to nature. It should have left. I only have respect for it. (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: A cock to be slaughtered, unwilling to be at the mercy of fate, bravely escaped. It is a chicken that is not mediocre. These comments at the end of the article reveal the significance of the matter and play a role in pointing out the topic. And the sentence "I only have respect for it" sublimates the theme from a lyrical point of view.
Demolishing this place will destroy my roots, which are the roots of hundreds of old neighborhoods in Guangzhou! However, who will hear such a cry? The origin of life, the origin of culture and the rapid development of economy seem to be small compared with the buildings that have sprung up. (20 1 1 Guangdong candidates "back to the original point")
Comments: These affectionate remarks are not only relevant, but also thought-provoking. First, because the above description has already reflected the author's love for the old street, it has paved the way for the discussion here. Secondly, the contrast in these sentences is closely related to reality, which contains philosophy and shows the author's profound views.
Follow-up training 03 Write a short essay on the topic of "Mid-Autumn Moon". Requirements: Use a combination of narration and discussion.
Fourth, the method of total immersion.
Diderot, a French philosopher and writer, said, "Without the quality of emotion, no style can touch people's hearts" and "Where there is emotion, there is beauty". This is especially true for narratives. The so-called "full of emotion" method means that in narrative writing, we should be full of emotion, or express our feelings directly, or borrow scenery to express our feelings, or be sentimental, so as to infect readers, impress readers and arouse the effect of * * *.
I carefully put two fireflies on a broad green leaf. When they breathe the breath of nature, they ignite the familiar green light of fireflies, so pure and full of vitality. (20 1 1 Guangdong candidates "back to the original point")
Comments: "Cautious" vividly reflects my subtle feeling of being afraid of hurting fireflies, while "so pure and full of vitality" reflects my excitement and joy. Full of love for fireflies, but not explicit, is the lyric feature of this sentence.
The February sun shines on the ground through the treetops, and the scattered moonlight is as fragmented as a child's heart. Only the cuckoo cried in the tree with red eyes, "Don't cry, don't cry …". (20 1 1 Shanghai examinee "Heart Rain")
Comments: The metaphor contains sadness in "Moonlight Scattering Scales", and Du Fu's plaintive song is "Don't cry, don't cry", which euphemistically and implicitly expresses the child's extreme sadness caused by accidentally injuring his father. Read it. It makes people sad.
Ex. 3: A crystal tear accompanied by raindrops flowed out of my indifferent eyes, slipped down my face and smashed into several petals on the wet ground. My father loves me so much. Sorry, father! I know, for me, the world needs you, my father! (20 1 1 Shandong examinee "The world needs you")
Comments: Directly express my guilt and love for my father, and the delicate description of tears falling down my face deepens my feelings.
Tracking training 04 takes "mother" as the topic. Write a paragraph. Requirements: full of emotion.
Five, the detail description method
Lev tolstoy said: "Art starts from the smallest." "Minimum" is the detail. Detail is the life of art, and the so-called "detail description" method is to make the narrative from superficial to profound, from boring to vivid, from plain to touching through real and vivid detail description in narrative writing. Detail description refers to the description of the action, language, manner, psychology, appearance, natural landscape, scene atmosphere and other small links or plots in the work.
Example 1. Suddenly one day, a man from a quarry came from the barren hills, walked around me, ground like a donkey, touched my ass and exclaimed, "Good stone, good stone! Do you want to be mediocre all your life, or are you willing to go to earth with me? " (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: The metaphor of "grinding like a donkey" is used to describe the movement of the quarryman turning around, vividly writing the psychology that the quarryman appreciates "I" (stone), and the language is humorous and vivid, which makes people laugh. The language description of the quarryman not only points out the word "mediocrity", but also further enriches the characterization. Vivid detail description makes the characters lifelike on paper.
Once, I picked up my old handkerchief and went to my mother's bedside. My mother gently stroked the yellow handkerchief with her moving palm for a while. Later, she smiled and said, "I embroidered this for you in the third grade of primary school." It rained that night, and it was harder for you to buy a new handkerchief than it was. "(20 1 1 Sichuan examinee" Time is running out ")
Comments: From the subtle movements of "gentle touch", the expression of "smile" and the language description of clear memories of the past, the gentle and amiable mother image of a beloved daughter is portrayed, which well expresses the theme of "time goes by".
Example 3: Father's hand holds the watchband tightly. I looked down silently, only to see that my father's broken cloth shoes were wet and his trouser legs were wet. It is raining harder and harder. (20 1 1 Shandong examinee "The world needs you")
Comments: Father in the Rain from the perspective of "I": "Hold the strap tightly", "Wet rag" and "Wet most of my trouser legs". This is a detailed description, which vividly depicts the image of a respectable father. He lives a hard life, but he is still focused on his children despite being wet by the heavy rain. The description of the environment (the rain is getting heavier) strongly contrasts the image of my father with my restless mood. Although the sentence is short, it well expresses the feelings of "I" for my father through careful description: the world needs you. At the same time, it also skillfully interpreted the topic.
Follow-up training 05 begins with "A small flying insect during evening self-study ...". Requirements: Have a detailed description.
Six, beading method
If the rich and vivid material is pearls, then the clue is the thread that strings pearls together. The so-called "beading" method is to organically connect the characters and events in the text by setting clues that run through the whole text, so that the article is coherent. The arrangement of article clues usually has the following forms: 1. Take the theme as a clue. 2. Take people as clues. 3. Take events as clues. 4. Take the central event as a clue. 5. Take "feelings" as a clue.
It should be noted that no matter what clues are taken, they should be determined flexibly and skillfully from the internal relationship between the central idea of the article and the materials.
Example 1, one or five zongzi ... Poor Qu Yuan, you probably wouldn't have thought that zongzi, which was originally to commemorate you, had become our cultural "mascot", would you? Please forgive me, I am just a mediocre candidate, and I want to reject my mediocrity through the college entrance examination. Second, a pigeon ... poor "son of nature" pigeon, please forgive me, I am just a mediocre candidate, and I will reject my mediocrity through the college entrance examination. Three, a tree ... Dear tree, please forgive me, I am just a mediocre candidate, and I want to reject my mediocrity through the college entrance examination. (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: The article has three subheadings, which naturally form three parts. At the end of each section, a note is used to indicate the theme. The key words (rejecting mediocrity) contained in these three arguments are the clues of the full text. Taking the theme as a clue not only makes the article clear, but also directly deduces the topic. This method is worth learning and applying.
I have kept an old handkerchief in my desk drawer for years. ..... Decades have passed by in a hurry, and that old handkerchief seems to be a special gift from the years. ..... Once, I picked up an old handkerchief and went to my mother's bedside ... My mother's memory of it is so clear! ..... I hope, just like that handkerchief, I can still cherish my warm affection and keep myself true when I am old. (20 1 1 Sichuan examinee "Time flies")
Comments: This article takes things (old handkerchiefs) as clues throughout the article. Old handkerchiefs evoke memories of childhood, and also cherish a warm affection, which is also symbolic. The reason why Old Handkerchiefs are "old" is the result of "the passage of time". The clue of The Old Handkerchief embodies the author's careful and ingenious conception.
I squeezed past curiously and looked, ah, it turned out to be two fireflies! ..... I recovered from my memory, and everyone dispersed, leaving me still staring at the fireflies. ..... I plucked up my courage and said to my classmate who caught fireflies, "Can you give me these two fireflies?" ..... I carefully put two fireflies on a broad green leaf. ..... I suddenly feel that we are like fireflies ... It's night, fireflies fall asleep, and I return to the original point. (20 1 1 Guangdong candidates "back to the original point")
Comments: This article takes the central event as the main line: looking for fireflies-remembering fireflies-asking for fireflies-flying fireflies-dreaming of fireflies. This clue makes the structure of the article extremely clear, makes the composition of the article comprehensive and plays a very good role in expressing the theme.
Follow-up training 06 Please write an outline of your composition on the topic of "Road". Requirements: Clear clues.
Seven, beautiful language methods
As the ancients said, it is not far to have words without words. "Wen" is "literary talent". Compared with argumentative writing, narrative writing pays more attention to "literary talent". The so-called "beautiful language" method is to make the narrative literary and artistic, attract readers' attention and make readers feel pleasing to the eye. To beautify the language, we should use vivid words, flexible sentences, clever rhetoric and meaningful sentences.
Example 1. A familiar figure fell, and a mountain named Father collapsed. The sound of falling to the ground is not loud, only making the fallen corn stalks creak, but breaking a child's heart into sand. (20 1 1 Shanghai examinee "Heart Rain")
Comments: Comparing my father's fall to the collapse of a mountain vividly shows my father's lofty position in the children's hearts, as well as my deep remorse and great sorrow for accidentally injuring my father. The sharp contrast between "groans and squeaks of corn stalks" and "breaking a child's heart into sand" has written the child's inner remorse and sadness to the extreme. The special image of the sentence "corn stalk hem" is to imitate the sound of corn stalk falling, write about the pain of father falling, and set off the child's inner sadness. The text is concise and rich in connotation, which gives readers a distinct and strong impression.
Example 2: The horn of the charge pierced the sky, and the small battlefield of 9× 10 suddenly showed signs of smoke. The galloping chariot charged ahead, destroying the city and pulling out the village, and being brave and good at fighting; The mighty cannon has a hidden mystery, and it is "killing cattle across the mountain", which is very awesome; Mercedes-benz horses chase the moon across the sun, lying in the trough and hanging horns, galloping freely. And I, a mediocre soldier, curled up alone in a corner of the battlefield. (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: Wolf Smoke Everywhere, Smoke Everywhere, Charge Ahead, Breaking the City and Pulling out the Village, Being Brave and Good at Fighting, Killing Cattle Over the Mountain, Chasing the Moon, Sleeping on the Bed and Galloping Up and Down are all sentences, which show the author's profound language skills and vividly show the chessboard. The combination of integration and decentralization forms a very strong and sharp contrast. There is a contrast between the whole sentence and the scattered sentence, and there is also a contrast between the fighting ability of "Xiao Bing" and "chariots and horses", which paves the way for Xiao Bing to be unwilling to be mediocre and fight bravely.
Example 3: When the arrogant chariot faced me and my brothers, I could only laugh at myself helplessly. "Since ancient times, two fists are harder than four hands." When the magnificent artillery lost the support of the gun rack and was vulnerable in front of me, when the horse suffering from "horseshoe disease in the spring breeze" was inadvertently blocked by me, when I tore open the strong defense line of the elephant, when I waved a spear and pierced the chest of the enemy general, I read the loss and fear in his eyes. (20 1 1 Jiangsu candidates "reject mediocrity")
Comments: The comprehensive application of parallelism and quotation. Parallelism describes the helplessness, incomprehension and shock of the enemy's cars, horses, guns and generals, thus reflecting the great energy generated by Batman's unwillingness to be mediocre, which conforms to the theme of "rejecting mediocrity". The quotations of "two fists are hard to beat four hands since ancient times" and "Spring Breeze is proud of horseshoe disease" strengthen the above expression effect and show the author's literary talent.
Ten years later, the shepherd boy waved a whip. At that time, as soon as school was over, I always went up the mountain, waving a whip, holding a rope and shaking the cow. (20 1 1 Sichuan candidates "always have an expectation")
Comments: "Past Ten Years, Cowboy Whip" is a clever and humorous poem by Mao Zedong, which shows the author's high language literacy and strong language expression ability; Two-part allegorical saying "My nephew plays lanterns-according to my uncle's age" makes the language vivid and humorous. And "waving a whip, holding a rope, holding a cow", the sentence is short, lively, catchy and full of rhythm.