Keywords: family education, children's personality formation
Abstract: When it comes to children's success, people will immediately think of the important role of schools. As we all know, family education is particularly important in the process of becoming a talent, especially in primary and secondary schools. Parents are children's first teachers. A person can talk and run from birth, and is closely related to his parents. In early childhood, children even imitate their parents' speech and walking posture. Children are influenced by their parents' thoughts, behaviors, lifestyles, outlook on life and values during their growth. Many parents have devoted a lot of efforts to their children, but due to the lack of correct educational concepts, they often fail to achieve the expected results. Family has an important and far-reaching influence on the formation and development of a person's character. Parents should give their children a good family environment, which is not only material, but also a learning and living environment for their healthy growth. Family is the first "classroom" for children to live and receive education. Parents are their first teachers. Parents have an unshirkable responsibility for their children's physical and mental health. Family influence plays a fundamental role in people's life, especially in childhood. The child's thought is not yet stereotyped, and it is very malleable. They are interested in everything around them and are good at imitating. Children of this age have poor ability to distinguish right from wrong, which comes from various influences of family and surrounding environment. Therefore, parents' thoughts, styles, daily behavior habits, attitudes towards people and ways of educating children will leave a deep impression on children.
First, the parenting style of parents.
A harmonious and happy family plays a special role in the formation of children's sound personality. Children living in a harmonious family will feel a kind of peace, which is more conducive to the growth of healthy personality. But for various reasons, some parents will divorce, which forms a single-parent family. Parents with different personalities have different emotional attitudes towards their children and different degrees of control over their children. Now they are divided into the following categories according to their emotional attitude and control over their children: prestige type and arbitrary type.
1. Influence of Prestige Parenting Style on Children's Personality
Parents with high acceptance and strict requirements for their children? Prestige type? They have authority, but they are not arbitrary, and they will not indulge their children too much. Their behavior is conducive to the development of children's positive emotions and social cognition.
2. The influence of parents' arbitrary parenting style on children's personality.
Many parents take an arbitrary approach to their children's life and study because of busy work or other reasons, ignoring that children are also thoughtful individuals. They are strict with their children and emotionally exclusive. They are arbitrary and rude and lack response to children's needs. Children brought up by arbitrary parents have no control over their environment and will never be satisfied. They usually feel depressed and angry, but they dare not show it because of hostile environment. These children often show unhappiness, sensitivity to pressure and lack of goals. Children who grow up in an arbitrary way are usually inferior, excitable and lack of goals.
3. The influence of parents' doting parenting style on children's character formation.
In reality, it often happens that when a child misbehaves because a certain desire is not satisfied, or even runs wild on the ground, his parents do not stop him, but unconditionally satisfy him. However, our parents don't realize that this obedience and doting will breed children's bad habits again and again. Maybe they think their children's demands can be met, because they are children and their mistakes can be forgiven. Similarly, because they are children, one day, however, their demands cannot be met. What will it be like? Although they have a loving relationship with their children, their extreme indulgence and unconstrained discipline requirements, as well as encouraging children to express their impulses freely, are all related to their lack of control and the development of impulsive behavior. They think that the free expression of these impulses is healthy and reasonable, and it is this concept that indulges their children. Therefore, children who are tolerant and indulgent of their parents are generally impulsive, aggressive, resistant to adults, disobedient, lacking self-control, bossy and impulsive.
Second, the integrity of the family structure.
With the diversification of family and social structure, families may have single parents due to various factors, such as divorce, spouse's death, spouse's work and life, and even unmarried pregnancy. For underage children, family is synonymous with security, the source of happiness and the end point of healthy personality development. And when parents divorce or couples
When there is only one side left, for children, it means losing the shelter of one side, suffering great psychological pain, even losing the courage to live and being hostile to society. The mental health of children in single-parent families mainly has the following problems.
1. Autism and inferiority complex
The breakdown of the family seems to be? A disaster from heaven? For young children, they lack the necessary psychological preparation, so they are hit harder than their parents, and children are more sensitive and vulnerable than adults. They do not fully have the ability to adjust their psychology, and it is difficult for them to face the harsh reality of family breakdown for a while, so they will feel at a loss. Children know how to compare. They will compare their present with the past, and compare themselves with children from healthy families, thus breeding inferiority complex, becoming timid, lacking self-confidence and enterprising spirit. These children are alienated from their parents, unwilling to get in touch with others, and often wary and bored with the people around them. They always suspect that others will talk about themselves behind their backs and are unwilling to go out to deal with people, showing the characteristics of inferiority and autism.
2. Low self-evaluation
Children in single-parent families have a strong sense of inferiority. They feel inferior, blame themselves, feel inferior, attribute all their disappointments to their own shortcomings, and tend to be afraid of what they do. Because of their low evaluation of themselves, they attribute their failures in work and study to their incompetence, which leads to negative emotions such as anxiety, guilt and disappointment, which leads to their overall psychological imbalance. Over time, they lose confidence in themselves, and even for those tasks that can be completed with a little effort, they often give up easily because of incompetence. After being criticized, many children in single-parent families always think that it is their own fault and they have done something wrong.
3. Anxiety and depression
Children who grow up in single-parent families are prone to fear, depression, anxiety or hostility, are extremely indifferent to others, are very fragile in the face of setbacks, are impulsive when they are slightly frustrated, react strongly to small frictions in life, have a strong sense of self-protection, and are prone to extreme behavior. This tendency is manifested in girls wanting to cry or running away from home, and in some boys being aggressive.
Strike behavior. If it is not handled properly, it is easy to go to extremes and cause great aggression and revenge to classmates, teachers or family members.
4. Jealousy and rebellion
Children in single-parent families are often not easily satisfied, both materially and spiritually, and their psychology can easily change from initial envy to jealousy and hatred. Psychologically, they will show special attachment to their parents and hope to get double returns from them. In terms of material enjoyment, if they can't treat this gap correctly, it will easily lead to illegal and criminal acts such as theft. Because where are the children from single-parent families? Children's circle? Low status, easy to be laughed at and bullied by other children 2. But he is so eager to be appreciated by others that he deliberately acts differently from his words and sometimes even likes them? Top corner, objection? To show their existence value. Children living in single-parent families often lack better life education and study guidance because of family breakdown and incomplete family education.
Third, the status and role of children in the family.
The only child has a special position in the family and plays a special role. Parents' educational attitudes and methods are slightly indulgent or inconsistent, which can easily lead to adverse consequences in children's personality. At present, the education of the only child has caused the status and role of educating children in the family, and it will also affect the formation and development of children's personality. If parents are unfair to their children, the favored one may be conceited, while the neglected one is prone to jealousy and inferiority. According to Eisenberg's research, the eldest son or only son is more superior than the second or youngest child. The more children are valued in the family, the more confident, independent and superior their personality development will be. If their status changes, their original personality characteristics will often change to varying degrees. A psychologist in the Soviet Union studied the sisters of identical twins and found that the elder sister was decisive, active and brave, while the younger sister was more obedient and passive. It is understood that after the twins were born, their grandmother designated one as the elder sister and the other as the younger sister. My sister has taken the responsibility of protecting and caring for her since childhood, so I have formed the above personality characteristics, while my sister has formed the personality characteristics of dependence and obedience because of being cared for and protected.
In a word, family environment plays a very important role in children's personality development. Parents should create a good family psychological environment, cultivate children's good personality and develop their intelligence according to the characteristics of the times and children's age. Such a family will always be full of cordial, friendly, equal and joyful atmosphere, and children will be nurtured and educated in a relaxed and warm environment, thus growing up healthily and lively. Good family material conditions do not mean good psychological environment. In a sense, family psychological environment has a greater influence on children. Family psychological environment is composed of many factors. For example, the embodiment of parents' personality, interests, talents and emotional state in family life affects the family psychological environment and plays a subtle role in children. If parents are sound, cheerful, optimistic and open-minded, then this family will be full of joy; If parents are full of love for life, have a wide range of interests and are diligent in studying and studying, then this family will be full of learning atmosphere; If parents are gifted in music art, then this family will be full of artistic atmosphere. There is no doubt that these are very important for shaping a child's character. The psychological environment of a family also depends on parents' educational ability and attitude towards their children. If parents have strong identification and education ability, then the education method will be easily accepted by children, and problems can be dealt with in time. On the other hand, parents' educational ability is low, and they usually ignore teaching, so they are helpless when something goes wrong, either sighing or beating and scolding their children. Such a family atmosphere is bound to be very tense.
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