In psychology, narcissism is considered as a personality disorder. Narcissists especially like to be appreciated by others, have a strong desire to perform and lack emotional strength.
However, these are all explicit narcissism. Besides explicit narcissism, there is another kind called implicit narcissism.
What is recessive narcissism?
If there are the following trends
[If! Support list ]l? [endif] When others disagree with your point of view, it is easy to get impatient and hope to get others' approval as soon as possible.
[If! Support list ]l? [endif] You are particularly concerned about other people's comments and opinions on you.
[If! Support list ]l? [endif] I especially don't like being with others. Unless you know that some of them value you very much, you will choose to join them.
[If! Support list ]l? [endif] You sometimes ignore people who can't compare with you.
From the above characteristics, we can see that implicit narcissism also has the key characteristics of explicit narcissism, but there are still some unique characteristics.
Narcissists think they are special, but hidden narcissists often hide this. They don't show themselves too much, they don't appear arrogant, and sometimes they even appear humble and hardworking. It's just that when you have in-depth contact with them, you will find that they are actually very wary of people and don't trust others enough. They always feel that "everyone is drunk and I wake up alone", and others are hypocritical and incompetent, only they are different.
Even if you do something as bad as others, you will find various reasons for yourself, saying that you are forced and have your own reasons or difficulties.
Therefore, hidden narcissism will inexplicably reveal a feeling of "others owe me" and "I am weak and reasonable" in words and actions, and others will coax her to let her go.
If it turns out to be the opposite, they will be extremely aggressive, such as accusing you from the moral high ground.
Although recessive narcissists and dominant narcissists are equally indifferent and selfish in nature, and both have interpersonal problems, dominant narcissists are unpopular because of their self-expanding attitude and like to belittle others.
Implicit narcissism hides the desire for power and the exaggerated fantasy of self-illusion in the subconscious. However, due to over-sensitivity, it always demonizes the motives of others, feels that others are targeting themselves, and then makes a counterattack, so it is difficult to maintain a stable relationship.
Implicit narcissists are very painful because they have explicit narcissism and are not entangled.
Scientists have done a related experiment, and the experimental results show that people with hidden narcissism are more neurotic, have large emotional fluctuations and are prone to blx.
The reason why this happens is mainly related to the problems existing in their parents' education methods.
Their parents had high expectations of them since childhood.
If they do well, their parents will praise them with all their compliments. But once they fail to meet their parents' requirements, they will be belittled.
So there will be some problems in their self-cognition. Even if they are excellent, they still don't have enough self-confidence and think that only good and better ones have the value of existence. So they disdain to compare with people who are not as good as themselves, because they simply look down on them.
No matter where they are, they feel that they should and naturally stand in a higher position, and such high expectations often make them fall into contradictions.
On the one hand, I feel that I am not good enough, on the other hand, I feel that I am better than many people, which is worth looking up to.
How can recessive narcissists grow up and not let themselves be in a passive position in social relations?
Psychologists have found that actively helping others can enhance a person's sense of meaning and self-efficacy, promote the secretion of oxytocin and dopamine, and enhance happiness. Therefore, hidden narcissists who often feel anxious and depressed may become more relaxed and happy if they learn to share their excessive concern with others.
One of the important reasons why secret admirers are difficult to get close to others and express their feelings is that they always want to show a feeling of "I am better than you/I am more special than you". Once they show their weakness or fragility in front of others, they will have a feeling of "so I lost".
But in fact, whether in the relationship with friends, partners or family members, it is an indispensable part to properly expose one's vulnerability and sincerely express one's feelings. Let go of the presupposition that others are waiting for me to make mistakes and laugh at me, and practice telling each other how you feel when you subconsciously want to take the lead in attacking to "protect" yourself. Doing so does not represent your weakness, but conveys to the other party: I want to work hard to get along with you.
The difference between self-esteem and narcissism is that self-esteem means that you still like yourself and accept yourself when you know your own advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, recognize your own bright spots and shortcomings, accept the current shortcomings frankly, and be willing to work hard in a better direction. When you can really face and accept it, you, like everyone else, have shining advantages and not-so-flattering disadvantages, which are the same qualities that make you. The shortcomings do not make you look weaker, nor do they make you a person who is no longer worthy of being loved.