My mother can't read, but she has great respect for people who can read. Life in our family is very difficult, and we often eat the last meal without the next. But as long as I ask her for books and stationery, she will always satisfy me. She is a diligent person and hates lazy children, but she never criticizes me as long as I miss my work because of reading.
Once, a storyteller came to the market. I secretly went to listen to the book and forgot the homework she assigned me. My mother criticized me for this. In the evening, when she was making cotton-padded clothes for her family with a small oil lamp, I couldn't help repeating the story I heard from the scholar during the day. At first, she was a little impatient, because in her mind, storytellers are glib, do nothing and can't think of good words. But my repeated stories gradually attracted her, and she stopped giving me homework every party day and acquiesced in my listening to books. In order to repay my mother's kindness and show off my memory, I will tell her vividly the stories I heard during the day.
Soon, I was not satisfied with retelling the story told by the storyteller. I kept polishing it in the process of retelling. I will vote for my mother's favorite, make up some plots, and sometimes even change the ending of the story. My audience is not only my mother, but also my sister, my aunt and my grandmother. After listening to my story, my mother is sometimes very worried, as if telling me or talking to herself: "Son, what kind of person will you be when you grow up?" Do you have to eat to play garrulous? "
I understand my mother's worry, because in the village, a talkative child is bored and sometimes brings trouble to himself and his family. The child I wrote in the novel "Cow" who was hated by the village because of his words has the shadow of my childhood. My mother often reminds me to talk less. She wants me to be a quiet, steady and generous child. But in my body, I show a strong ability to speak and a great desire to speak, which is undoubtedly very dangerous, but my ability to tell stories has brought her pleasure, which has caused him to fall into deep contradictions.
As the saying goes, "A leopard cannot change his spots." Although I was taught by my parents since I was a child, I haven't changed my nature of liking to talk, which makes my name "Mo Yan" look like a satire on myself.
I am a theist and believe that everything is spiritual.
I dropped out of primary school before I graduated. Because I am too young and weak to do heavy work, I have to go to the grassland to graze cattle and sheep. When I passed the school gate with my cattle and sheep and saw my former classmates fighting on campus, my heart was full of sadness and I deeply realized the pain of a person, even a child, after leaving the group.
On the desert beach, I let the cattle and sheep go and let them eat grass by themselves. The blue sky is like the sea and the grass is endless. There is no figure around, no sound, only birds singing in the sky. I feel lonely, lonely and empty inside. Sometimes, I lie on the grass and look at the lazy white clouds floating in the sky, and many inexplicable fantasies emerge in my mind. There are many stories where foxes become beautiful women. I fantasized that the fox could become a beautiful woman to accompany me to herd cattle, but she never appeared. But once, a lux fox jumped out of the grass in front of me, and I was scared and squatted on the ground. The fox ran away, and I was still shivering there. Sometimes I will squat down beside the cow and look at those blue eyes and my reflection in the cow's eyes. Sometimes I try to talk to birds in the sky by imitating their songs, and sometimes I pour out my heart to a tree. But the birds ignored me and the trees ignored me. Many years later, when I became a novelist, many fantasies of that year were written into novels by me. Many people praise me for my rich imagination, and some literary lovers hope that I can tell them the secret of cultivating imagination. I can only smile bitterly about this.
As the sage Lao Zi of China said, "There are good things and bad things, and good things depend on good things." I dropped out of school in my childhood, suffering from hunger, loneliness and no books to read, but like our predecessor Shen Congwen, I started reading this big book of social life early. Going to the market mentioned above and hearing several people telling stories is just one page in this big book.
After dropping out of school, I hung out with adults and started a long career of "reading with my ears". More than 200 years ago, there was a storyteller in my hometown-Pu Songling. Many people in our village, including me, are his descendants. In the fields of collective labor, in the cowshed and stable of the production team, on the hot kang of grandparents, and even in the rickety ox cart club, I have heard many ghost stories, historical legends and anecdotes. These stories are closely related to the local natural environment and family history, which gives me a strong sense of reality.
I never dreamed that these things would become my writing materials one day. I was just a child obsessed with stories, fascinated by people's stories. At that time, I was an absolute theist. I believe that everything is spiritual. When I see a big tree, I will feel awe. When I see a bird, I think it will become an adult bird at any time. When you meet a stranger, you will also suspect that it is an animal. Whenever I come home from the workshop of the production team at night, endless fear surrounds me. For courage, I sang loudly while running. At that time, I was in a voice change period, my voice was hoarse and my tone was ugly. My singing is a kind of torture to my villagers.