It is difficult to communicate with parents and teachers, and the lack of necessary understanding between them is also an important factor that causes your psychological problems. This kind of conflict makes you feel depressed, depressed, helpless and irritable with the growth of age. On the one hand, you especially want parents and teachers to understand your thoughts and practices; In educational practice, teachers often encounter students who are troubled by difficulties in communicating with parents and teachers to seek help, and some students even cry, which shows their great psychological pressure. At present, the main psychological problems of many of our students are depression, anxiety, irritability, shyness, jealousy and fear. The main problems in behavior generally include: dereliction of duty, lying, theft, attack, sabotage, truancy and so on. Look at this case: Luo Hong is an only child, aged 12, and her parents are intellectuals. She is regarded as the apple of her eye, takes good care of her and has high expectations. Luo Hong is lively and smart, and has been doing very well since she went to school. Not only her parents, teachers and classmates admire her, but she is also respected. Luo Hong herself is aware of her Excellence and conceit. However, just when everyone was full of confidence in Luo Hong, she encountered a lot of troubles. She happened to catch a bad cold during the mid-term exam of grade six last semester. In order not to delay the exam, she insisted on coming to school and taking all the exams. Due to poor health, inadequate review preparation and nervousness, the exam results are not ideal. Not only did she fall into the top ten for the first time in history, but she even got 70 points in math, which gave her a deep blow. This failure made Luo Hong become silent, listless and depressed, and his appetite was greatly reduced, and he gradually became afraid to meet his teachers and classmates. Later, it developed into lying in bed all day and never wanted to go to school again. Parents didn't care much at first, but usually comforted her. They didn't get anxious until they saw that she didn't want to go to school. Ask the child what's going on. Luo Hong couldn't say clearly, but just shed tears. Her parents took her to the hospital for examination, and there was nothing unusual in her body. In fact, her behavior can be judged as depression. The direct reason is that she consciously lost face and suffered serious mental setbacks after failing in the exam. The root cause of her illness is that she grew up with praise and had a smooth life, so that her will was weak and her ability to bear setbacks was too poor. Caused by it. It can be seen that emotional intelligence can also be said to be how important mental health is to a person. There are many reasons for these psychological problems, some are caused by the environment, some are caused by improper educational methods. Have a plenty of social influence and so on. For example, if a child grows up under a stick for a long time, it may cause the child to be timid or explosive. In fact, every problem student has a certain reason. In fact, most of them are caused by psychological factors. Mental retardation is rare in a school like ours.
What I want to say today is that our students have exposed the existing problems. One is the cultivation of self-confidence. The other is how to face setbacks and how to cultivate attention. In fact, this does not belong to the category of psychological counseling, but to the category of psychological training. I hope it will be useful to everyone.
There is a short story about the value of steel plate. There is a famous Hilton value theory in economics. An ordinary steel plate is worth $5, if it is made into horseshoe palm, it is worth 10.5, if it is made into steel needle, it is worth $3,550.8, and if it is made into the pointer of a watch, it can climb to $250,000. So, how much is a steel plate worth? Roger, the first black governor of New York State? Rawls' story may answer this question. Rawls was born in a slum in new york, where children play truant and fight, some steal things and take drugs, which is very difficult to control. When they grow up, few people can find decent jobs. Rawls was lucky enough to meet Pierre? Paul ―― his primary school principal. Pierre? Paul tried to persuade the children to go back to class, not to fight, and to have ideals, but to no avail. Finally, he thought of reading the children's palms. When Rawls reached out his little hand and walked to the podium, Pierre? Paul opened his little hand and said, I can see from your slender little finger that you will be the governor of New York in the future. ? This sentence caused a big explosion in Rawls' young mind. Because since childhood, only his grandmother has encouraged him once. One day, grandma said that he could be the captain of a five-ton ship. Since then, Rawls has written this sentence and firmly believes it. His clothes are no longer covered with dirt, he no longer produces foul language, he always walks straight and becomes the monitor. In the next forty years, not a day passed without him failing to meet the requirements of a provincial governor. At the age of fifty-one, he really became governor.
How much is a steel plate worth? It depends on what you regard it as, a horseshoe or a pointer.
There is another story. My teacher told me in class. A school invited a famous educator to guide the work. The great thing about this educator is that all the students he has coached are promising. Be regarded as a god by the educational circles. The students are proud to see him, too. There is a class in this school, which is famous for its problem students and students with learning difficulties. School is a headache. Just say to this educator, come and see what the students in this class do. So the educator came to this class and met the students in Class One. Touch this head and tell everyone that this guy is good and will definitely become a big entrepreneur. Look at a little girl sitting quietly and say that you are a good public relations material. . . . . In this way, he praised many classmates. These students are very happy after he left. Even educators say so. Then I must be a good material. It's really getting better and better since then. Many years later, he came again. The headmaster said, you are really something. Almost all the children you mentioned have become talents. They are all poor students. how do you know As a result, the educator said, I didn't see anything. I didn't even see them clearly. I just said that on purpose.
In fact, these two stories are what I want to say? Label effect. ?
Example: (Philosopher's story) can help children form a good sense of self. Always tell them that you are really good. You are a smart, independent, capable and lovely child. Let him feel that he is such a child and recognize himself in his heart. I will psychologically ask myself to be such a child according to such standards. In fact, this is a bit like what we now call appreciation education. If you always say that a child is stupid, naughty, disruptive and doesn't care about the group. When he grows up, he will feel that he is really like this. That's it anyway. That's it. And let the children lose the opportunity for progress. I haven't been a class teacher in junior high school for more than 20 years. Although I have a say in how the class teacher educates the students, I want to say that I am also a student, so let's talk about my feelings as a student. I remember that my favorite subject at school was Chinese, and my composition was almost the highest in the class, and I was often read in class as a model essay by my teacher. China's performances are always among the best. This is not because I was so good at the beginning, but because my Chinese teacher once wrote such a comment on a composition I wrote? This is an insightful argumentative paper with unique viewpoints, sufficient arguments and fluent language. In fact, these comments are very common, which is nothing. Many teachers comment on compositions in this way. The important thing is that there is another sentence next. He said? Ze, if the water in the stream can be merged into the sea, can it ride the wind and waves to reach the ideal place? . I have kept this composition book. This sentence makes me feel like a spring breeze and a student with great literary potential, so I have always been confident in Chinese. I even use this sentence to encourage myself now. In fact, teachers are more powerful than parents in influencing students. Sometimes a word is a child's life. So I want to say that we should label both our own children and our students. Every class has underachievers. Are these underachievers so bad from the beginning? Is your intelligence bad? Why good students are getting better and better, underachievers are getting worse and worse, and everything is worse. He has a bad label on his face. Everyone thinks he is poor, even he thinks so. Can he not be bad? The problem of students with learning difficulties is not the main problem I want to talk about today. If it is mentioned, just say a few more words, and everyone can make more comments. I may be too theoretical and idealistic. Because they haven't really done it, they may not have the right to speak, but I always think that students with learning difficulties can still be saved. The long-term causes of learning difficulties should mainly be poor study habits, poor study methods, unclear or no motivation for learning. Slowly put your grades behind the class. Then students will look down on him. He has lost his sense of accomplishment in this respect, so he has lost interest and intensified his efforts. If you don't study well, your energy is spent on other things, so your discipline is not good. Finally, it leads to the loss of self-confidence. If we can help them find self-confidence, form good study habits and use good study methods. Label them. I think it will work. It makes sense for everyone to recall the good students and students with learning difficulties in our school.
The second problem is the most common problem for our children and students, and that is carelessness. We always say that the child is either incompetent or careless. That doesn't sound like a reproach. Although we know that carelessness is bad, we don't think it is serious, but we think it will be fine when we grow up. It took me so long to understand that carelessness is not a trivial matter, but a habit. When a fault becomes a habit, it is even more terrible. What is sloppy? Not serious is sloppy! Why not be serious? Because I am not focused, I am not focused. Slowness is a habit, then you can develop the habit of not being careless.
We can ask students to form the habit of doing homework or checking after class, even at home and at school. Check it yourself first, and then check it by teachers and parents. If there is a mistake, don't tell him where it is. Circle the area and ask him to check it again. In addition, children should not be distracted when studying. Don't put fruit snacks next to him at home. Don't turn on the TV, talk quietly. Don't ask anything. Are you hungry? Thirst? Is it difficult? Psychologically speaking, it takes at least six days to form a habit. But this habit may take a long time.
Parents' Mental Health Lecture 3
Dear parents and friends,
Hello everyone!
First, let me introduce myself. I'm a Xinglong primary school/mental health class/full-time teacher, and a national third-level psychological counselor. My name is Yang Chunyan. Spring? Spring? Swallow's Yan? As can be seen from the name, I am a very cheerful, outgoing and approachable person. I'm glad to meet you here. I know that you are not only the backbone and central force of all units, but also the representatives of our Xinglong primary school and some parents who are very concerned about their children. Here, on behalf of all the teachers of Xinglong Primary School, I would like to express my heartfelt thanks for your coming! Thank you!
It seems that I am about the same age as others, so you can call me Miss Yang or you can call me. This will make me feel more intimate, just like we have known each other for many years. Instead of giving lectures, it is better to discuss some thorny problems and effective solutions that children encounter during their growth. Some parents told me that my children are too headstrong. You said he had ten sentences. Some parents say that my children just don't like studying and do homework to muddle along; Other parents said: My children study well, but they have few friends. They always watch TV at home alone and so on. To sum up these many problems that bother us is nothing more than psychological problems and learning problems. I hope that through the discussion with you today, we can have a new understanding of some problems and find some solutions.
First of all, I want to give you a gift made by myself. Please enjoy life as a flower, and children are the core of the flower.
From everyone's eyes, I see your care for children and your thirst for educational knowledge. Let's take a look at the topic to be discussed today:
* First, children's mental health.
* Second, the beginning of life.
* Third, important gifts.
* Fourth, great prospects.
* First, children's mental health.
* 1, healthy
As we all know, having health does not mean having everything, and losing health means losing everything! So what is health?
Recently, the World Health Organization put forward a new concept of health: * The so-called health includes not only not getting sick, but also mental health and social interaction. In other words, health means maintaining a sound state mentally, physically and socially.
*2, mental health
What is mental health?
* Mental health is a kind of balanced relationship between people's inner world and objective environment, and it is the maintenance of good relationship between self and others, that is, it is not only the acquisition and guarantee of self-stability and inner peace, but also the ability of self-realization and service to others' health.
Countries around the world have different views on mental health at different times, but one thing is the same. People pay more and more attention to psychological problems. Now let's learn about children's mental health, which is closely related to children.
*3, children's mental health standards
There are many standards for people's mental health, but there is no unified measure at present. According to the characteristics of children's psychological development in China, children's mental health should have the following seven contents:
*( 1) Normal mental development
*(2) Stabilize the mood
*(3) Know yourself correctly
*(4) Good interpersonal relationship
*(5) stable and harmonious personality
*(6) Love life
*(7) Psychological activities are adapted to the age characteristics of psychological development.
Through the above, we have learned some knowledge about children's mental health, so why are some children excellent and happy, while others always have such problems? We know: * The first lesson in life is at home, and parents are the first and best teachers for children? . After a child is born, the first thing that comes into contact with and is influenced by it is the family environment. We know that when a baby is born, there is almost no difference. Eating, sleeping and crying usually makes no big difference. But slowly, it's different. We can see that there are great differences among preschool children, mainly influenced by family environment. What kind of education will bring up what kind of children? A psychologist once said: *? Give me a hundred children, and I can train some of them to be thieves. At the same time, I can train some children to be policemen. ? It can be seen that in the process of children's development, the family environment has a strong influence, and the psychological quality of each of us is more or less branded with the imprint of the family. A harmonious, warm, emotional, trustworthy and positive family can create a healthy psychology for children. On the contrary, it is very likely to leave irreparable trauma to the child's young mind. Therefore, cultivating children's healthy psychology has become what our parents should do.
You can often hear people say: Look at that child! ? I'm surprised at this, you know: every child is a unique angel? There is a saying in the west that every child is an angel sent to the world by God hand in hand and is unique. Now, this view has been recognized all over the world. Educators generally believe that every child has the characteristics of genius, and the key is how parents guide, discover and release their children's talents. From this perspective, our own children depend on how we educate ourselves.
* Second, the beginning of life.
Every child is the crystallization of parents' love and the continuation of life. Do you remember the excitement when you knew you were pregnant? Remember the first cry when the child was born? Remember when he was a toddler? Remember when he will call his parents? I believe that when we think back again, what we see is the true face of life.
There is a saying: * All love in the world is for the purpose of gathering, and there is only one kind of love for the purpose of separation, and that is the love of parents for their children. The sooner you leave your parents, the better. What it wants to express is *? It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish. The truth has something in common.
Tell you a fairy tale: * Mom's heart.
A prince met a princess in the forest and he fell in love with her deeply. Every evening, they come here for a date. Once, the princess was sad, and the prince repeatedly asked why. The princess said: I want your things, and you will never promise me, so I am very sad. The prince vowed: take it and I'll give it to you. What the princess wants is the heart of the prince's mother. The prince made this request to his mother, and the mother handed the knife to the prince and said, Son, take my heart and find the person you love. The prince took out his mother's heart and ran quickly to the Woods. I tripped over a tree root on the road, and my heart said, son, did you hurt?
The touching story is just a fairy tale, but every mother is willing to stand up for her children. If we can, we can also cool our hearts.
Hurry up and give it to your child in exchange for the joy and happiness of your child's growth.
Let me tell you another story about father's love: the wind under the wings.
A father, a writer, said that when his daughter was young, he saved a lot of pocket money for the first time and wanted to buy him a Father's Day gift secretly. The child bought a green glass vase anyway. She went home happily with a paper bag, but on the way, she accidentally dropped the paper bag and broke the glass bottle. She was very sad, so she went home.
I couldn't say a word, so I cried badly. Father was sorry, too, and couldn't wait to catch the vase for her on the way. But what has happened is irreversible. He smiled and said to the child, You are amazing! Where did you find so many glittering and translucent things? The child cried and smiled!
It has been 20 years since this incident, and a publishing house asked the father to write a children's book. The theme is the most unforgettable. My daughter said she could write, and my father was glad to let her write. She wrote the story of this broken vase.
When she wrote the first draft for her father, his tears came down, because her daughter said at the end: It was my most unforgettable Father's Day, because I gave my father a broken vase, but my father filled me with something crystal clear in the broken vase, that is happiness!
At that time, their favorite song was The Wind Under the Wings. When we saw a bird flying, we thought it was because it had wings, holding it and pushing it. We believe that this world can only make children rise high and fly far under the love of their parents, like the wind under their wings!
* The lyrics of The Wind Under Wings are as follows:
You must be cold in my shadow,
I blocked the sunshine.
But you're always content to make me shine,
You've been following me,
All the glory was given to me,
You are the strongest pillar behind me,
No name!
I can fly like an eagle,
All because you are the wind under my wings.
These two stories just now made me feel how great the love of my parents is! Everyone will love their children, but love is not a simple question. True love is like sunshine, which wraps you all the time, but gives you unlimited freedom. So how do we love children? How to use psychological knowledge to pay attention to children's growth now?