Because of loneliness, I want to get happiness through someone or a certain belief. But I'm still lonely. It's always there, under the surface. But when it scares me, I don't know what the inner nature of this loneliness is, so I want to find something to cling to. So I think I can get happiness through some things and some people. So our hearts are always concerned about finding these things. Through furniture, houses, books, people, beliefs, rituals and symbols, we hope to find happiness in certain things. So those things, those people, those beliefs become particularly important, because we hope to get happiness through them. So we began to rely on them.
But with them, we still don't understand and can't solve this matter. Anxiety and fear are still there. Even if I see it there, I want to use it, experience it and see what happens after that. So my mind takes everything as a way to surpass it, thus making everything trivial. If I use you to satisfy my happiness, then you become very unimportant, because what I care about is whether I am happy or not. So when my heart only cares about whether I can get happiness through someone, something or a belief, don't I make these methods short-lived? Because I care about something else, and further, to master another thing.
I should understand this loneliness, this pain, this extremely empty pain, isn't it very important? Because if I knew this, maybe I wouldn't use anything to get happiness, God to get peace, and rituals to get more emotion, excitement and inspiration. What erodes my heart is fear, loneliness and emptiness. Can I understand? Can I solve it? Most of us are lonely, aren't we? Doing what you want, broadcasting, writing books, participating in politics and worshipping, can't really eliminate loneliness. I may be active in society, and I may affirm myself with some philosophy of life, but no matter what I do, I am still lonely, in my subconscious, or in my life.
How should I handle this situation? How can we show it and solve it completely? I blame it over and over again, don't I? I don't know what I'm afraid of. This fear is the result of condemnation. I don't know what loneliness is after all. But in my heart, I have already judged that it is terrible. The mind has its own views on facts and loneliness. It is these views and opinions that cause fear and make me unable to really see loneliness.
I wish I could be clear, okay? I'm lonely. I'm afraid of loneliness. What causes fear? Isn't it because I don't know the meaning of loneliness? If I knew the meaning of loneliness, then I wouldn't be afraid of it. But because I knew what it might be, I ran away from it. It is escape that creates fear and makes you afraid to face it. If you want to face it, you should stay with it, not blame it. And when I can face it, I can love it and see it clearly.
So, is the loneliness I am afraid of just a sentence? It is actually not a necessary existence. Maybe through which door I'll find out the truth. That door may further guide us, so our hearts know that in this state, it must be lonely and unpolluted. Because all other ways to stay away from loneliness are off-track, evasive and scattered. If our heart can stay with it and not blame it, then perhaps through it, our heart will find a lonely state, a heart that is not only lonely but also completely lonely, and does not rely on or try to find the truth through something.
Krishnamurti: Psychologically, we rely on others, rituals, ideals, things and possessions in our hearts, don't we? We are dependent, and we want to get rid of dependence, because dependence brings us pain. As long as dependence makes me satisfied, as long as I find happiness in it, I won't want to get rid of dependence. But when dependence hurts me and brings me pain, when what I rely on escapes me, collapses, leaves me and turns to see others, then I want to get rid of dependence.
Please pay attention to the importance of this problem. You just need a way to get rid of some or all dependencies. This method is "explanation", isn't it? You are about to practice this method and life to get rid of your dependence, so this method becomes another dependence. When you try to get rid of a particular dependence, you introduce another form of dependence.
But if you really care about how to get rid of all psychological dependence, if you really care, then you won't seek a certain method or a certain way. Then you will ask a very different question, won't you? You will ask yourself whether you have the ability to deal with it, that is, the possibility of dealing with dependence. So, the question is not, but, am I capable of handling this whole problem? If I have the ability, then I won't depend on anyone anymore. Only when I say I can't, will I ask: Please help me and tell me a way. But if I have the ability to deal with the problem of dependence, then I won't ask others to help me solve this problem.
I hope you not only understand verbally, but also experience what we are discussing in practice. This is the art of listening-not just listening to me, but really listening to what is happening inside you.
When I knew I was capable, the problem disappeared. But because I have no ability, I want advice. So I created the Lord, the guru, the savior, and those who can save and help me. So I began to rely on them. However, if I have the ability to solve and understand problems, it will be very simple, and I will no longer rely on it.
So when the whole process is understood, the ability is there. But you can't find that ability through any specific mode of action. I can't understand the whole through an example. Through the analysis of specific problems, we can't understand the overall situation. So do I have the ability to see the whole situation-not a specific event, a special thing-but all the processes in life, its sadness, its pain, its joy and its eternal pursuit of comfort? If I can seriously ask myself that question, then my ability lies there.
With this ability, I can deal with all the problems. There are always problems in life, things happen and reactions. This is life. Because I don't know how to deal with these problems, I go to others for help and ask them how to deal with them. But when I ask myself this question: Can I have this ability? This is the beginning of self-confidence, not "my" self-confidence, my own self-confidence, not through accumulated self-confidence, but through daily reflection on my self-confidence, not through any special experience or anything, but through understanding and freedom, so that my heart can find out what is true.