This paper mainly analyzes the mental and physical state of depression from three interviews. The first interview was a comment on the client's cold, haggard and lonely image, and the author was her sister. The second meeting is the feeling and experience of the parties themselves about their inaction and pessimistic physical and mental state; The last time was an integrated family conversation, the main purpose of which was to coordinate the parent-child relationship of family members and test the counseling effect of the parties. Psychological counselors use realistic association therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy to help depressed visitors change their cognitive styles, guide help seekers to re-recognize their roles and values in family and society, establish self-confidence in life and study, and actively build a harmonious parent-child relationship. After psychological counseling, visitors' negative ideas and behaviors have obviously changed, and they have succeeded? Cognitive reconstruction? Objective: To effectively solve the psychological problems of visitors.
Keywords: college students; Psychological counseling; case analysis
China Library Classification Number: G640 Document Identification Number: Part A Number:1674-9324 (2013) 07-0157-03.
I. Population data
Helper: Yang Chen (pseudonym), male, Han nationality, 19 years old, a freshman in a university in Jinan, with a height of 1.77 meters and a weight of more than 90 kg. He is weak, his face is brown and his eyes are dull. He has two sisters in a rural family. My father retired as a small building contractor, and my mother worked as a farmer at home, with a medium family. No history of mental illness, serious physical illness, counseling or psychotherapy, and no other bad hobbies.
Second, the main consultation questions
In the past six months, I have been depressed, extremely depressed and hate my parents. Often numb yourself in various ways. I don't know my life and my family. Indulge in your numb life, have no friends and no communication, and have negative and pessimistic thoughts about the future. I don't think the current problems will be solved. More importantly, I have no intention to solve them at all, and I firmly believe that I have no ability and method to solve them. I live except for pain.
Third, the chief complaint
The first meeting
(1) Sister's chief complaint.
The younger brother is the youngest in the family, and the parents gave birth to two children in order to have a son. I'm the second child in my family, with a sister on it. Everyone in my family has spoiled my younger brother since childhood, and the family economy is not bad. My brother usually gives him anything he wants. My brother studies well in junior high school, but he can't go to senior high school. In the first year, his brother failed in the college entrance examination, and in the second year, his father tried his best to pay for his brother and let him go to an adult university. But not long after my brother went to school, he called home and said he didn't want to go to school. His parents don't care. The second time, my brother put forward the idea of dropping out of school, but he was rejected. The third time, I explained to my parents that I didn't want to go to school, and my parents strictly stopped me. From then on, my brother never mentioned it again, my brother never called home again, and my family no longer wanted my living expenses. I always ask my parents for living expenses. The younger brother said that his life was so bad that it was all caused by his parents. He has no feelings for his parents and doesn't want to see them again.
My younger brother is now 1.77 and weighs only 90 kilograms. According to my brother, he has lost his appetite for nearly a month or two and only relies on instant noodles to satisfy his hunger. He doesn't want to eat. He goes to Internet cafes every day, not because he likes surfing the Internet, but because he has found something to anesthetize himself. He doesn't know what he should do, let alone what he wants to do. He wakes up naturally every day, and life is really hard and painful. (Speaking of which, my sister choked up. Seeing my brother like this, my sister felt very guilty and blamed herself for never understanding his real thoughts for so many years. Instead, she forced him to do something he didn't want to do with her parents.
My sister also said that once in high school, my brother went to sell mutton kebabs with his classmates during the holiday. Father felt ashamed and took him home, saying that he didn't need to earn those two pennies at home, so he just studied hard at home. So my brother didn't want to do anything, and he didn't communicate with his parents at home every day. After supper, he went back to his room. After a long time, his family has become accustomed to him, thinking that he is such a character, and no one has really considered his real feelings and psychological needs from the perspective of his younger brother.
My brother hasn't come home for half a year since the beginning of this semester. The main reason for going home this time is that my sister just gave birth to a baby. He went home to have a look. Seeing my brother's mental state is not good, I am very distressed. I don't know what to do, but I don't know what to do.
(b) consultancy analysis
This case belongs to a typical family doting type. Parents love their son so much that they control everything and pave the way for his life. However, his son is not what they think. He was thoughtful, wanted to stand on his own feet, and tried his best to get rid of the heavy shackles of his parents' love, but in the end he failed. From then on, my son realized that it was futile to strive for it again, so he stopped taking the initiative and hid in a thick shell like a snail, losing himself and losing his direction. The initiative in the son's heart and the passivity in front of his parents have produced a strong ideological conflict, which has led to the current silence and escape.
(c) Questions and inferences raised by consultants
Through the visitors' complaints, there was not a fierce quarrel between my brother and my parents. So why is the younger brother so obedient to his parents? Is it because he cares about them? Love your parents? Love? To what extent is it on him? So hard to overcome. Since my brother obeyed his parents' demands, why can't he really convince himself to accept them from the bottom of his heart, but he has adopted another painful self-harm way of forbearance.
Consultant's suggestion
I hope my sister can persuade my brother to come to consult and have a face-to-face conversation with the psychological counselor, but I emphasize that my sister should not force her brother and respect his wishes. A good counseling state comes from the help-seekers taking the initiative to ask for help.
The second meeting
(a) the main complaints of the parties to the petition
(The whole narrative process is suffocating. Parents' love is unbearable for the client, so that he can't find himself or save himself, let alone save himself. )
I spent my first to third grades in primary school at my grandmother's house, and then I went to my grandmother's house to live with my parents in junior high school. I have no real friends in my life, because I can't meet friends who are only superficial acquaintances. So I believe friends are hard to find, what's more, I'm used to the days without friends, and I don't think there's anything wrong with having no friends. At home, my parents only allow me to study hard, and I am not allowed to do anything except study. Therefore, I always stay alone in my room silently, and of course I can't learn. When I was a freshman, I already had the idea of not wanting to go to school. During the summer vacation, my classmates and I went to sell mutton kebabs, but my father strongly opposed me and resolutely let me go home. Later, on another occasion, I secretly went out to work. When my father found out, he found me and took me home. Another time, I resolutely ran away from home, and my mother sat at the door crying and pleading, and even knelt down and begged me not to go, begging me to stay.
These things made me realize that I must think of my parents, even if I live for them. I decided to live like this, as long as I am alive, whether I am happy or not, as long as I am alive, there is still a breath.
The continuous failure of the college entrance examination didn't hit me, and I didn't feel anything at that time. I'm already numb. Later, my father found me the present university. I wanted to stick to it for another four years, but I didn't expect to stick to it for one year. I have nothing to do at school, and the courses are not tight. I don't have any interest. My interest in junior high school has all worn off for so many years. I really don't know how to spend the day. I often suffer from insomnia, so I choose to surf the Internet to get tired of myself and let my brain have a rest when I am tired of playing. Now my mind is blank. I don't know what I should do, what I can do and what I want to do. I have no idea, just like a vegetable.
In the past month or two, I have no appetite. I don't know. Hungry for a day or two. I was really hungry, so I took instant noodles to satisfy my hunger. I used to eat very hard at home, not to say that I have a good appetite, but to show my parents. In fact, I can't eat at all outside. Now that I'm in college, I have no appetite, and of course I'm more free to eat or not. I know very well that even if I am willing to suffer for my parents and family for another three years, my body will not wait for that day, but I have no choice but to do so. I don't want to communicate with anyone. It's no use communicating. The result is still the same, and nothing can change it. Even if the result changes, what can it be? What's more, this result means nothing to me. Therefore, I don't want to get out of my depressed life. I have spent so many years like this. Do you still care about these years? It's safe to live in my own shell. No one bothers me, and no one knows me. Even though I know I'm suffering, I'd rather be like this.
I don't have any feelings for home; As for my parents, I don't hate them, just because I have no ability to live up to their expectations. In the eyes of my parents, I am a lazy, sloppy, disappointing and cold-blooded child. I'd rather they treated me like this, so they raised me for nothing, and their hearts might be calmer. I don't want them to know how guilty I really feel about them. Only in this way can I feel that I don't owe my parents, and neither do my parents. We are even. When I came back this time, I made a special trip to visit my sister. I see my elder sister's family is doing well, and my second sister has her own boyfriend. Both sisters are doing well. I know my existence is useless. My existence means little to my family, and it will only bring them burden and pain. When I was a freshman, I began to think deeply about whether I should continue to live. I have been thinking about this problem for years.
(b) consultancy analysis
This is a case in which family functions bring extremely negative effects to children. The long-term heavy love of parents makes children lose themselves, and then they can't find the motivation, goal and direction of life. At the same time, due to the child's long-term closure and suppression of temperament, he is seriously autistic and cannot get out of his shell. More crucially, severe autism has caused more terrible problems to the clients. The meaning of living is only a physical existence, only temporarily living for others. Is this one of the parents? Love? Sadness. Love can create a life or destroy a life.
(3) realistic association therapy
The parties are well aware of their own problems and reasons, so psychoanalysis is ineffective, which will only strengthen the feelings of the parties and make them more painful and unable to extricate themselves. Therefore, reality therapy's and Lenovo's hypothesis are adopted to avoid focusing on the current symptoms and status quo, so that the parties can pay attention to a possible future life state and eliminate the habitual negative thinking mode.
Please close your eyes and think carefully, and then answer the following questions:
Realistic association 1: What if you let go according to the opinions of the parties and don't change the status quo? Inspire the parties to think, what will happen to elderly parents? What will happen to little sister? Mother may be too sad, and sisters may live in the shadow of their younger brothers all their lives. Ask about the feelings of the parties.
Reality Association 2: You have to change yourself. External resistance no longer exists, because parents have realized their mistakes and will not interfere with you in the future. The hardest thing is yourself. You have tried to go out before, but failed because of the obstruction of your parents and family. Now the external environment has changed. Everyone is supporting you and helping you. As long as you try to take a step outward, the road will get wider and wider. Describe the beautiful future life scene for the parties, stimulate their imagination and give them confidence.
(d) Cognitive therapy of consultants
1. The meaning of living is to make yourself happy first, and then bring happiness to others. Psychological counselors use the combination of China's traditional filial piety philosophy and psychological theory to make clients understand the different reasons why different people live and change? The narrow view of filial piety that the parties only live for others and their parents? .
2. In the process of self-change, if there is a lack of confidence or a rebound in depression, this is a reasonable and normal psychological circuitous phenomenon, and it is recommended not to be nervous and afraid. At this time, you need to stimulate yourself to imagine a beautiful life situation by association method, so as to eliminate your doubts about survival and increase your confidence in life.
The third meeting
(1) Complaints and feedback from parents' visits
Mother explained: There are three children at home. After my father retired from the army, he has been busy working outside to make money to supplement his family. I take care of my two daughters at home and work in the fields. Our son is the youngest, he is more precious. Our parents were worried that they couldn't take good care of him, so they let his grandmother and grandmother take care of him since childhood, and they didn't bring their son to live with us until junior high school. At first, our children were a little strange to us, but we just tried our best to earn money to support our families and didn't care much about our children's psychological feelings. We just try to satisfy him materially, thinking that we are also making money for our son, so we buy him whatever our son wants in the hope that his son will succeed one day. We put all our hopes on him, and as long as we are admitted to the university, we will be satisfied. To this end, the requirements for sons are naturally increasing. Of course, we don't understand education. We just blindly urge our son to study hard, set various goals for him, and what kind of university to enter. We never let him do any housework. When we got home, we let him study in the house. Sometimes we always compare the children of relatives and friends. We always feel that our son is inferior to others' children. In desperation, the tone of voice is also very strict. But the more so, the worse the children's academic performance. Not only did the grades drop, but people became more and more silent. Until high school, children began to get tired of learning and even wanted to drop out of school. The child tried several times to exercise his ideas during the holidays, but his father strongly disagreed. He only cares about his study and forbids him to do anything. The continuous failure in the college entrance examination made him lose confidence in his study and made him feel that he was really a useless person. No way, we have to buy an adult university for our children. Anyway, we can get one after all. College students? Its reputation. In this way, we won't lose face. After going to college, our children won't answer our phone or go home during the semester. In short, they just ignore us. Only then did we realize whether there was anything wrong with our children.
(2) Evaluation of consulting effect
1. Visitor's self-evaluation: The visitor feels suddenly enlightened and everyone cares about him. He is not alone in life; More importantly, I understand the meaning and self-worth of life, and the feeling that I am useless is gone.
2. Psychological counselor's evaluation: visitors are full of energy and look better, and can actively exchange life experiences with psychological counselors.
3. Parents' reaction: I obviously felt my son's progress and began to actively communicate with my parents. I actually volunteered to eat the food cooked by my parents. The parent-child relationship has moved from indifference to harmony.
References:
[1] Le Guoan. Consulting psychology [M]. Tianjin: Nankai University Press, 2002.
[2] Pan Zhengde. Psychological counseling [M]. Taiwan Province Province: Taiwan Province Psychological Publishing House, 2006.