The principles for college students to master good interpersonal relationships are 1 and the principle of honesty.
It mainly refers to correct and healthy interpersonal skills, and creates an interpersonal atmosphere of mutual learning, unity and friendship, and harmonious coexistence. Never engage in cliques, fair-weather friends, unprincipled and unhealthy interpersonal communication.
2. Principle of equality.
It mainly refers to the equality of personality of both parties in communication, including respecting others and maintaining self-dignity. Mutual respect is the foundation of friendship and a bridge between two hearts. Communication must be equal, and equality can deepen friendship, which is the premise of successful interpersonal communication. The fundamental feature of socialist interpersonal relationship is equality, which is the expression of social progress. Implementing the principle of equality means that Australia strives to respect the legitimate rights and interests and feelings of others in communication. The ancients said:? If you want others to love you, you must first love others; Those who love others will always love others; People who respect others will always respect others? . Respect is not unilateral, but depends on both sides, both self-respect and mutual respect.
3. The principle of good faith.
Refers to honesty and trustworthiness in interpersonal communication. When dealing with people, on the one hand, we should treat people sincerely, neither flattering them in person nor slandering them behind their backs, but treating them sincerely and with an open mind. On the other hand, we should do what we say and promise to do as much as possible, so as to win the support of others and establish deep friendship with each other. Marx once praised sincere and rational friendship. Life is priceless? . The ancients also said, sincerely, the stone is open? ,? Sincerity is the spirit? . Sincerity is the key to friendship. The famous Japanese writer Daisaku Ikeda wrote:? Only by throwing away hypocrisy and being honest with each other can we know the strongest, the best and the noblest? .
4. The principle of tolerance.
When getting along with others, we should be strict with ourselves, tolerate others and accept their differences. As the saying goes, gold is not enough, and no one is perfect? . In communication, be tolerant of others, such as? There's no room for a grain of sand in your eyes? If you haggle over every ounce, be harsh on others, or be unreasonable, you will eventually become an unsociable person. In addition, to be tolerant, we must exchange honesty for sincerity, love for love, heart for heart, and be good at understanding each other from each other's point of view, so as to get a clear understanding.
5. The principle of transposition.
In communication, we should be good at understanding each other's thoughts and ways of doing things from each other's point of view, put ourselves in each other's shoes, and discover the unique personality of each other in dealing with problems, so as to truly understand each other and find the most suitable way to communicate and solve problems.
6. The principle of mutual assistance and interaction.
This principle is the psychological need of college students to deal with interpersonal relationships, and it is also a basic principle of interpersonal communication. Jade college students are not independent in economic life, and they are still in the school-oriented student era, so the principle of complementarity is mainly reflected in the spiritual field. Including the temperament, personality and personality characteristics of college students. We often find that people with different temperaments, personalities and abilities can get along well, but two people with very strong abilities may not get along well. So what? Short feet, long inches? In the process of communication, we should be brave enough to absorb other people's experience to make up for our own shortcomings.
Psychologically speaking, everyone is naturally self-centered, and individuals want others to recognize their own values, support themselves, accept themselves and like themselves. Because of this tendency to seek self-worth confirmation and emotional security, in social communication, we pay more attention to our own self-expression and attract others' attention, hoping that others can accept and like ourselves. Aronson's research shows that the foundation of interpersonal relationship is mutual concern and support between people. For those who sincerely accept us and like us, we are also more willing to accept each other, and are more willing to associate with them and establish and maintain relationships.
1975 The research of Fu 'a couple shows that everyone has a stable tendency to protect their psychological balance, and requires that their relationship with others is appropriate and reasonable, and their behavior with others can be explained accordingly. In this way, when others express friendship, acceptance and support to us, we also feel that we should repay their friendship. Should? Our consciousness will make us feel a psychological pressure to accept others, otherwise our behavior will be unreasonable. At the same time, if our friendly actions are accepted by others, we also hope that others will respond accordingly. If other people's behavior deviates from our expectations, we will think that others are unreasonable, resulting in unpleasant emotional experience and psychological rejection of each other. What did the ancients in China say? People who love others will always love others? ,? Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you? It has its psychological basis.
7. Utility principle.
Psychologist homans (196 1) pointed out that the communication between people is essentially a social exchange process, and people hope that the exchange is worthwhile for themselves, at least equal to the loss in the exchange process. There is no reason to carry out an unworthy exchange or maintain an unworthy relationship. Therefore, all human communication behaviors and the establishment and maintenance of all interpersonal relationships are the results of their choices according to certain values. People tend to establish and maintain interpersonal relationships that are valuable to them, or gain more than lose, while those that are unworthy of them, or lose more than gain, tend to escape, alienate or terminate.
Psychologists in China have found that there are different social exchange mechanisms in interpersonal communication with different values. For those who value the intrinsic emotional value, personal feelings are more involved in interpersonal communication, so there is an obvious tendency to value friendship over material things, and communication with others is also more inclined to the value-added communication process. They feel indebted to others in interpersonal communication, so when they return, they often exceed others' expectations. The cycle of this process leads to the feeling of both sides is greater than the loss. At the same time, for people who value external material interests, they value material interests more than personal emotional input in interpersonal communication, so they are more inclined to measure their gains and losses with materials and are in a state of exchange impairment in interpersonal communication.
8, the principle of self-worth protection
Self-worth refers to the individual's understanding and judgment of his own value; Self-value protection refers to the tendency of self-support in all aspects of psychological activities in order to maintain the establishment of self-value and prevent self-value from being denied. People's sense of self-worth is the sum of all available self-support information at any time. The change of self-value support comes from two aspects: one is to satisfy people's wishes and increase self-support; The other is to face the threat of self-value contrary to people's expectations, so we must make negative changes in self-value protection, that is, the loss of self-value support or new attacks on ourselves.
Especially when we face people who turn positive to negative, we are faced with two choices: one is to admit the rationality of others' transformation, deny ourselves and belittle self-worth; The second is to protect self-worth, try to keep self-worth unchanged, and reduce the importance of lost self-worth to yourself. Many studies have shown that denying self-worth is very painful, so the priority response to the threat of self-worth is not to deny yourself, but to protect yourself as much as possible.
Establishing good interpersonal relationships among college students is the foundation of a person's career success. They need a tolerant heart, sincerity and initiative in active communication, shaping a good personal image, making good use of various communication means and overcoming prejudice in social cognition.
1, to overcome the deviation in social cognition
People who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are clear. Whether they can correctly know and understand others is also related to the smooth progress of interpersonal communication. To get out of the psychological misunderstanding of others, we should pay attention to the following aspects:
halo effect
In our minds, there are always some potential ideas derived in various ways, and we often use them to evaluate and judge others, because it consumes the least psychological energy, which is the most convenient. However, trying to save trouble often leads to some cognitive biases. What Americans are open, British are conservative, businessmen are smart and sophisticated, and farmers are honest. Although these statements conform to the characteristics of some people, they are by no means the same. What else is there? Specific issues are treated specifically? . People and people are the same, so we can't measure people by concepts and simplify them. One advantage of someone is magnified into the whole body? Aura? Even the original shortcomings are covered up or covered with a dazzling brilliance. The biggest mistake in this kind of cognition of others lies in covering the whole with one side. ? A glimpse of the whole leopard? It is not always suitable for all people and things, and individuals and parts may not necessarily reflect the whole and the whole. It is undoubtedly naive to judge whether a person is a good person or a bad person by grasping a good person or a bad person among a person's many behaviors or personality characteristics. To know others correctly and comprehensively, we must overcome the absolute method of saying that all good things are good and all bad things are bad.
First reaction effect
The impression we usually say actually refers to the first impression or the first impression. In social psychology, due to the formation of the first impression, the phenomenon that the information obtained at first is more influential than the information obtained later is called the primary effect, also known as the initial impression.
The first impression, that is, the image formed when people are perceived for the first time, is often the most profound, and it often becomes a basic impression, affecting the evaluation of others in all aspects. The so-called preconceptions are the truth: people attach great importance to their first impression on others, but we should also see that the first impression comes from short contact and has no previous experience as a reference, so it is subjective and one-sided. Therefore, we must pay attention to its negative side, and we should not completely deny it because of the bad first impression, but also prevent it from being confused by the exaggerated appearance. ? What's more, what's more? Such examples are not uncommon. We should practice the ability to see the essence through phenomena, and fully and correctly know and understand others in long-term relationships. For example, a college student's excellent self-introduction left a strong first impression on his classmates. Even if his performance is not as good as before, students think it is not a question of ability, but not enough effort; On the contrary, some students leave a very incompetent first impression when looking for a job, so how long will it take to change? People are used to using preconceived initial impression trajectory to explain some psychological problems.
recency effect
It's just that someone made a big mistake, so someone found out that he was never a good person. This is the recent effect at work. In the long-term communication, the recent impression is more dominant than the initial impression, which is a psychological inertia. Because of this inertia, people tend to judge people according to their recent impressions. Compared with the first impression effect, the newly obtained information has a greater influence on the overall impression formation than the original information. Never judge people for a moment.
Stereotype effect
Some people are used to mechanically attributing the communication object to a certain kind of person, regardless of whether he shows the characteristics of this kind of person or not, they all think that he is the representative of this kind of person, and always impose the evaluation of this kind of person on him, thus affecting the correct cognition, especially when this kind of evaluation is biased, it will damage interpersonal relations. If some college students think that southerners are stingy and selfish, and students with high family and social status are arrogant and difficult to get along with, this stereotype will easily form a preconceived stereotype and hinder the formation of normal interpersonal relationships among college students.
Stability effect
Stereotype effect refers to a certain fixed consciousness in people's minds, which affects people's cognition and evaluation of people and things. When we are in contact with others, we often unconsciously produce a prepared psychological state and make fixed ideas or tendency judgments.
Projection effect