The reporter interviewed Tu, deputy director and researcher of China Youth Research Center, vice president of Guangzhou Youth League School and expert of Guangzhou, Hong Kong and Macao Youth Research Institute, and asked them to answer questions for parents.
After analyzing 90
Why do they get involved in violence and sex prematurely?
Tu, vice president of Guangzhou Youth League School and an expert from Guangzhou, Hong Kong and Macao Youth Research Institute, believes that various health risk behaviors of post-90s teenagers, such as school violence, sex, addiction and unhealthy diet, can all be regarded as negative ways for them to release psychological pressure. This is often related to factors such as family education and family environment.
Reason 1: The post-90s pressure is unprecedented.
The Guangzhou-Hong Kong-Macao Youth Research Institute has done a special study on the release mode of psychological stress of teenagers. The survey results show that most people will choose active ways such as exercise and talking, but many negative ways and deviant behaviors such as overeating, alcohol and tobacco addiction, internet addiction and even violent self-harm are also chosen by many respondents.
Tu Xiamin believes that with the increasingly fierce social competition, the pressure faced by this generation of teenagers is unprecedented. Indulging in alcohol, tobacco and the internet is often an escape from reality, and so is overeating. Puppy love, premature sex, violence, etc. It is often more common in children from families with abnormal structures or families with deviated educational methods.
Reason 2: Parents' expectations are too high
Sun Yunxiao, deputy director and researcher of China Youth Research Center, also told reporters that the social competition is becoming increasingly fierce, and the parents living in it have also passed on the pressure of survival to their children prematurely. Compared with the families in the 1980s, today's families put great pressure on their children, and many parents' demands are beyond their power.
A survey conducted in Sun Yunxiao found that 83.6% parents of middle school students require their children to reach the top 65,438+05 in the exam. High expectations bring despair to children that can never be realized. Sun Yunxiao believes that the family was originally a warm and harmonious place for emotional communication, but it has become a classroom in children's hearts, which is putting the cart before the horse and a phenomenon of alienation in modern families.
Sun Yunxiao prescription
We should learn to learn from each other and grow up with our children.
Sun Yunxiao pointed out that the new era and the new generation are new topics for parents. Facing the post-90s generation, parents should keep the mentality of "learning from each other and growing together".
Sun Yunxiao said that parents must understand the changes of their children and times. Children living in the information age are a book with extremely rich contents. Only by studying hard can every parent and teacher understand their children's "100,000 whys" and discover their advantages. The premise of understanding children is to respect them.
Adults should respect the unique laws of children's life development, their growth needs, their rights and their personal dignity. When children's words and deeds are incomprehensible to adults, don't jump to conclusions and objections. Think twice before you act.
Appreciating the advantages of children is the main condition for learning from them. Excellent parents and teachers are always good at discovering the advantages of children and giving them positive encouragement. Of course, education cannot be without criticism, or even without punishment. But the more you criticize and punish children, the more you should respect them and encourage them to make progress by awakening their self-esteem.
Being a good partner of children should be the sacred pursuit of parents and teachers. To this end, we should get along with children on an equal footing, be kind to them as ourselves, and be tolerant of them as friends. Establish a dialogue, interaction and harmonious education model. Teaching is an ancient and scientific educational principle.
The world has never needed to learn from children like today, because the information age has made children stronger. Only when two generations learn from each other and grow together can we complete the task of lifelong learning and meet the challenges of the new era.
Experts talk about 90:
Outstanding advantages and obvious disadvantages.
Sun Yunxiao, deputy director and researcher of China Youth Research Center, believes that the post-90s generation has outstanding advantages and obvious disadvantages, and the post-90s children have mastered a lot of rich knowledge, especially book knowledge. However, due to the lack of social practice, their independence, emotional richness and vision are not small compared with those of the post-80 s children. If we don't pay attention to students' social practice, the whole generation will be affected.
Pay attention to equality, lack of sense of responsibility
Obviously different from the previous generation, Sun Yunxiao once asked some parents, what do you think is the most important quality of a person? Parents answer: responsibility. This is the value of our parents. The answer of primary and secondary school students is obvious, the first place: equality. He first looks at whether you respect me and are equal.
Sun Yunxiao believes that the post-90s generation is full of hope, with great personality and many modern pursuits. They are natural and real. Although they have many problems, they have more advantages. Like the post-80s generation, the post-90s generation is a new generation of hope in China.
The post-90s generation is more pragmatic than the post-80s generation.
Tu, vice president of Guangzhou Youth League School and expert of Guangzhou, Hong Kong and Macao Youth Research Institute, introduced that through the investigation and comparison of the values and psychological pressure of Guangzhou, Hong Kong and Macao youth in 1996, 2002 and 2007, it was found that the values of the post-90 s were obviously more pragmatic than those of the post-80 s, paying attention to the quality of material life and their lifestyles also had their own obvious characteristics. Tu Xiamin believes that, relatively speaking, they pay more attention to connecting with reality when setting goals, and will not aim too high.