First, the common reasons for college students to fall in love:
1, physiologically mature; 2. High school depression; 3. Not bound by parents and teachers; 4. Environmental impact; 5, the desire for emotion, the need for emotional sustenance and personal value; 6, the need for pleasure and vanity
Second, the psychological characteristics of college students in love:
1, strong autonomy: outstanding personality, impulsiveness, not limited by traditional customs. When you like the opposite sex, the traditional "asking people to convey" and the implicit "flirting" are no longer used, while "coming straight to the point" is the first choice for most people, so as to let it develop naturally and let it go with the flow. From this point of view, the way college students face love is bold and straightforward, and they dare to take the initiative to express their disapproval.
2. Simple love motivation: Many college students do not consider their future marriage in love, mainly because of their emotional sustenance. Many students reported that "there are many medical courses, fierce competition, heavy responsibilities and great mental stress." You need to talk to your confidant and encourage each other to help you in order to do well in your study. Why not? "
3. Immature and unstable: At present, college students are in the lower grades, and the number is on the rise. People begin to fall in love in the first grade, which is not an isolated phenomenon. Some students even fall in love as soon as they enter school. These junior students, because of their shallow social experience and simple thoughts, many students don't have a clear concept of their life goals and needs, which leads to their simplicity, naivety and immaturity in treating love. In terms of mate selection criteria, appearance is often emphasized, while internal factors are ignored. In the way of love, the form is often emphasized, while the content is ignored. In love behavior, the process is often emphasized and the result is ignored; Value pleasure over responsibility. This kind of immaturity in love, coupled with their economic independence during school, changeable feelings and ideas in the process of love, and lack of ability to properly handle emotional entanglements in love, can easily lead to periodic interruption of love, or uncertain choice of love objects, and the success rate of love is very low.
Third, the problems of college students' love:
1, incorrect love motivation: some college students' love motivation is not out of love itself, but to make up for inner emptiness, loneliness or conformity. This kind of students seldom combine love behavior with marriage when choosing a spouse, and lack a sense of responsibility. There are also a few students who, in order to show their charm, associate with several opposite-sex students at the same time, engage in multi-angle love, and are not even sure about their relationship. Immoral polyandry can easily lead to disputes, misfortunes and disasters, as well as contradictions and tragedies, which will eventually have adverse consequences for all parties.
2. The illusion of unrequited love and love: Unrequited love refers to the unilateral "love" that one party in a heterosexual relationship falls in love with the other party, but can't get a return from the other party. The illusion of love refers to that in the contact relationship of the opposite sex, one party mistakenly thinks that the other party is "interested" in himself, or mistakenly thinks that the normal communication and friendship between the two sides is the coming of love. Is another form of unrequited love, often let the parties daydreaming, romantic. Secret love and illusion of love are both cognitive and emotional errors in love psychology. Unrequited love makes some students fall into a painful situation, in emptiness, trouble and even despair. Improper handling will have a negative impact on future love and marriage life. Therefore, college students who fall into unrequited love should stop as soon as possible and choose again. In order to overcome the secret love and illusion of love, it is important to correctly understand the profound meaning of love, and at the same time control emotions with reason, respect each other's choices, and not be emotional.
3, lovelorn: lovelorn refers to the interruption of the love process. It brings sadness, pain, despair, melancholy, anxiety, nothingness and other emotions that hurt the parties. It is one of the most serious psychological setbacks in life. If the negative emotions caused by lovelorn love are not resolved in time, it will lead to physical and mental diseases.
Fourthly, cultivate healthy love psychology and behavior.
1. Establish a correct view of love: (1) Advocate like-minded love: The most important condition in lovers' choice should be like-minded, with basically the same ideology, morality, career ideals and life interests. It should be an organic combination of ideal, morality, obligation and career. Generally speaking, the development of heterosexual feelings is along the clue of acquaintance-friend-good friend-confidant-lover. In the process of sharing weal and woe and growing together, love will come into being and develop. (2) Correcting the relationship between love and career: College students should put career first, correct the relationship between love and career, and can't spend all their precious time in love and relax their study. Because learning is the main pillar of college students' values. (3) Knowing that love is a kind of mutual understanding, mutual trust, responsibility and dedication. Mutual understanding is to create a relaxed and happy atmosphere for individuals and each other. Mutual trust is a manifestation of self-confidence, and responsibility and dedication mean personal moral cultivation, which is the basis for obtaining lofty love.
2, develop healthy love behavior: (1) Love should be elegant, pay attention to beautiful language and generous behavior. Talk sincerely, frankly and naturally, and don't put on airs and show yourself affectedly; Don't be rude, abusive or rude; Get to know each other and don't ask each other endlessly, which will damage each other's self-esteem. (2) Intimate movements should be elegant and avoid vulgarization. Elegant intimate action exerts the pleasure and psychological effect of love, while vulgar intimate action often causes the negative psychological effect of emotional separation, which is detrimental to the purity and dignity of love, the image of college students and a bad psychological stimulus to others. (3) Be good at controlling emotions and acting rationally. On the one hand, we should pay attention to restraint and adjustment, on the other hand, we should pay attention to transfer and sublimation, participate in various recreational activities, talk more about study and work with lovers, limit love behavior within social norms, and let love develop along a healthy road.
3. Cultivate the ability and responsibility of love: (1) The ability to satisfy love. Including the ability to give love and the ability to receive love. There is love in your heart. After rational analysis, you should dare to express it and be good at expressing it. This is a kind of love ability. If college students want to have the ability to meet love, they must know what love is, have a healthy view of love, and know what they like, need and suit. Be sensitive and enthusiastic about everything and take the initiative to care about others. When others express their love to you, you can timely and accurately judge the information of love and make a choice calmly. Can bear the psychological troubles caused by refusing to woo or refusing to woo. (2) the ability to refuse love. Love that you don't want or deserve should have the courage to refuse. When rejecting love, we should pay attention to two aspects: first, when unwanted love comes, we should say "no" decisively and bravely, because love can't be forced and will. If you are indecisive or give in to each other's pursuit, it will be detrimental to the development of both sides. Second, we must master the appropriate way of refusal. Although everyone has the right to refuse love, cherishing every sincere feeling is a kind of respect for others, a kind of self-esteem and a test of one's moral sentiments. It is very inappropriate to treat each other's feelings and self-esteem simply and rashly without considering each other's feelings, and even add harsh words. (3) Develop the ability of love and cultivate the responsibility of love. The ability to develop love is not necessarily specific to the love of a certain opposite sex, but can be a broader love. Cultivating the ability of love is to cultivate the character of selfless dedication, cultivate the ability to deal with contradictions, and effectively resolve and eliminate contradictions and disputes in love and family life.
4. Improve the endurance of love setbacks: College students' love is restricted by many factors, so they will inevitably encounter various twists and turns in the process of pursuing love. If you have a strong tolerance, you can better cope with setbacks, otherwise it may have adverse consequences. Therefore, it is very important to improve the endurance of love frustration for college students' mental health. When love is frustrated, use reason to control feelings, strengthen sense of reason, analyze reasons, sum up experiences and lessons, and relieve pain through appropriate emotional adjustment, venting and transfer. Confirm and realize your own value in the new pursuit, so as to improve your psychological endurance and ideological level.