Keywords: language communication; Politeness; face
1. Politeness, face and politeness in communication can be defined as "a means to show awareness of others' face". (Yule) In social communication, it is possible to find out some different principles of politeness. These include propriety, generosity, modesty and sympathy for others. Participants in communication activities are usually aware of the existence of these norms and principles in social life. Greeting, shaking hands and giving gifts all show some goodwill and friendship. People politely show that they want to start friendly and sincere communication activities, or maintain the existing harmonious relationship with others, or repair this relationship when it is damaged. In order to maintain harmonious interpersonal relationships and achieve smooth and effective communication, politeness is an important means needed at any time. However, in a communication activity, sometimes there will be a narrower but more useful politeness type, which needs the concept of face to describe.
The word "face" was put forward by Geffman in the late 1960s. He believes that face is the most sacred thing for everyone, and it is also a key factor that all communicators must pay attention to. The need for face is mutual. If a person wants to get face, he should pay attention to the face of others. This can be proved by a simple and comprehensive principle in the Bible: treat others as you want them to treat you. Therefore, face is a personal social consciousness. This person has devoted himself to it and hopes that everyone else can realize it. Face may be lost, restored, maintained or strengthened in communication activities, so we must pay attention to it at any time. Usually, people will cooperate intentionally or unintentionally to show their interest in enhancing each other's face in communication, because everyone has their own goals to achieve. Only when everyone accepts and protects the face of others can successful communication activities be carried out smoothly; Only in this way can society develop relatively steadily, interpersonal relationships be broadened and business transactions be carried out smoothly. Communicative activities can be defined as a broad concept, including different texts and situations. It is a process of information transmission between at least two communicators. Language, as the main communication channel or tool, transmits language information from the origin/sender to the destination/receiver. The sender of information hopes that the information or language can have some influence on the listener. However, communication is not only a kind of information exchange, but also a kind of cooperation in which both sides should actively organize information construction, which includes all the processes of interaction between people. All behaviors can be said to be communicative. Discussions at dinner, telephone conversations and pleasantries on the road provide little information, but they are extremely important means to maintain harmonious interpersonal relationships. Generally speaking, we should know what is respect and what is disrespect; Be polite at all times and places, so as to protect the face of yourself and others.
Second, China people's concept of face communication for thousands of years. Face has always played a very important role in China culture. It is no exaggeration to say that it is difficult to carry out communication activities smoothly and effectively without giving it to the other party. China people consciously pay attention to face in communication. As a famous China proverb says: "People want face, trees want skin." A disgraced China person will lose interest in the social activities he takes part in. Making someone lose face is also likely to endanger this person's inherent position in the hierarchy. Losing face is not only an embarrassing problem for individuals, but also may affect the cohesion or overall face of a group, so there is also a potential danger of disturbing social order.
There are two main reasons why China people attach so much importance to face: First, China people have been living in their own land for thousands of years, living with friends, neighbors and relatives around them, and rarely have the opportunity to migrate. When a person is closely related to the life of a specific group, it is particularly important to maintain a harmonious relationship among members. Therefore, it is a natural and necessary choice for everyone to maintain a harmonious relationship, avoid conflicts and protect the face of each individual and collective. Secondly, Confucius emphasized that the essence of most interpersonal relationships is unequal. He doesn't think there is anything wrong with this inequality, because there are different obligations between superiors and subordinates. He believes that social harmony can only be achieved if all parties are self-restrained and polite in a certain social scene. One way to achieve this goal is to accept and respect each individual's need to protect his face. The high-ranking party usually exercises power, but it should also make itself have moral sympathy and a sense of justice. Similarly, subordinates are required to respect and obey their superiors, and at the same time expect their protection, care and guidance.
When encountering difficulties and unpleasant things, the issue of face needs to be considered more. Of course, people in China should pay attention to face, but don't worry that speaking too casually will offend each other's face. In order to make friends with the people of China better, Hu Wenzhong and Grove put forward the following eight principles:
First of all, we should respect and be humble to those who are above ourselves in age and position. The second is to be kind to those who are lower in age and position than themselves. Third, don't expect China people to act against the collective principle. Fourth, don't force superiors to respect their rights and opinions. Fifth, don't challenge the moral norms recognized by superiors in any way. Sixth, don't show anger and avoid confrontation. Seventh, if you have to say "no", try to say it gently. Eighth, if you must criticize and accuse, you'd better do it in private, and at the same time affirm the other party's statement.
Although China people do not consider the issue of face in every situation, it is safe and beneficial to adopt the above strategy. Modern China has always been influenced by foreign cultures. Great changes have taken place in people's material life and way of thinking in China, and many people in China are adjusting and forming a new outlook on face. However, it would be a big mistake to think that China people no longer attach importance to face issues.
If you lose face in front of China people, what should you do? If you find that a friend or colleague in China has obvious negative changes in your attitude and behavior, or you find it more difficult to get help information from a friend you once trusted in China, then you have to take this situation seriously. The reason may be that you embarrassed the other person. The following measures will help to save face: first, stop any behavior that may continue to lead to loss of face; Secondly, find an acquaintance who has a good relationship with everyone and ask him to mediate between you; Thirdly, whether you take the second step or not, apologize to the person you offended and ask for forgiveness; Finally, we should respect and understand each other in the future and consider each other's status, needs and hidden wishes in many ways. In short, you should try your best to restore the face of the other party you have hurt.
Third, Americans' face in communication. People of different nationalities have different views on noodles. Americans seldom talk about face, so some people think that Americans don't care about face. But this is not the case. Sociologists and linguists who study face have proved that face is a common concern in human communication activities, so Americans are no exception. What we need to pay attention to is the difference in understanding the concept of face between China people and Americans in communication. In the third part, we discussed the face problem of China people in most people's consciousness. Americans may regard it as something related to personal privacy, freedom, self-reliance, human rights, independence, wealth and reputation. These things are different from face, but Americans attach great importance to them.
Americans are immigrants or descendants of immigrants from all over the world, especially Europe, except native Indians. Their lives have been changing since the colonial period. If they are tired of a place, or find that life there is no longer comfortable, they will not hesitate to move to other places to pursue a better life, so that their friends, neighbors, colleagues and acquaintances will constantly change. It is precisely because of this constant change of collective members that Americans pay more attention to individuals than to the collective. For them, maintaining and protecting collective cohesion and harmonious relations is naturally not as important as China people think.
In the United States, a country with a relatively low degree of centralization and relatively neglect to maintain a specific hierarchy, losing face will lead to personal embarrassment but not necessarily threaten the unity of the group, or lead to the disintegration of the social life structure. Although the United States also has a hierarchical system, people always try to shorten this social gap to show the creed of equality in life. They also try to blur the difference between power and status, thinking that all people are essentially the same. In addition, the high mobility of the whole society has always been a major feature of American social life, and most people also think that this is a good thing.
In most ordinary social interactions, Americans like to be straightforward. They like to express their feelings directly. If you don't understand, say "I don't know"; When they are not given certain rights, they will say, "I can't do this." Of course, they know that this direct and true answer will make others emotionally unhappy, but they will tell the truth anyway. They believe that only by using the most direct and clear language to explain the status quo clearly can everyone better safeguard their rights and interests. It's not that they don't pay attention to manners and other people's feelings. On the contrary, they care. Whenever other people's feelings and faces are at risk, they will be as aware as possible. It's just that they highly recognize directness, so in sensitive situations, their duty is to provide complete information directly and as gently as possible.
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Four. Conclusion Any interpersonal communication will face risks, as well as the face of both parties. For both sides of communication, the issue of face must be handled carefully. As an important aspect of identity, face is regarded as an important part of all communication activities. Linguists have done a lot of research on this, trying to understand how communication participants decide their relative status, and what language they want to use to explain this status difference, taking into account the face of participants. Because the concept of face exists in different forms of interpersonal communication to varying degrees, participants must be aware of this before starting communication. In short, there is no social activity that can ignore face.
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