Psychological Obstacles —— On the Psychological Obstacles in College Students' Interpersonal Communication
Abstract: The biggest problem facing college students now is not study and employment, but interpersonal communication. In the process of interpersonal communication, college students often go into psychological misunderstanding because of some objective factors and psychological factors such as subjective cognition, emotion and personality deviation, and even appear psychological obstacles such as inferiority, loneliness, jealousy and revenge. How to eliminate these obstacles and make yourself recognized by others in interpersonal communication has become an urgent problem for college students.
Keywords: college students; Interpersonal communication; Psychological barrier
China Library Classification Number: G448 Document Identification Number: Part A Number:1812-2485 (2012) 04-0/kloc-0-2.
Interpersonal communication ability is the ability to live in harmony with others in a group. People are social people. Without society and communication with others, one can't live. As long as you step into the society, you will deal with all kinds of people. In dealing with people, whether you can get support and help from others will involve your own ability.
Young college students are active in thinking and rich in feelings, and have a strong demand for interpersonal communication. Everyone is eager for sincere friendship, and everyone tries to gain friendship through interpersonal communication to meet their material and spiritual needs. However, in the face of new environment, new objects and tense study life, some students' psychological contradictions have intensified. At this time, positive interpersonal communication and good interpersonal relationship can make people feel happy, full of emotions, full of confidence and maintain an optimistic attitude towards life. Generally speaking, most students with good interpersonal relationships can maintain cheerful personality and warm and optimistic quality, so as to correctly understand and treat various practical problems, resolve various contradictions in their study and life, form positive and excellent quality, and quickly adapt to college life. On the contrary, if you lack positive interpersonal communication, can't treat yourself and others correctly, and are narrow-minded and short-sighted, it is easy to form great mental and psychological pressure, and psychological contradictions are difficult to resolve. Seriously, it may also lead to morbid psychology. If you don't dredge it in time, it may form a vicious circle and seriously affect your physical and mental health.
The common communication obstacles of college students are mainly manifested in the following three aspects: (1) the gap between ideal and reality, lack of self-knowledge and cognitive obstacles; (2) Emotional barriers are formed only by emotional likes and dislikes determining the direction of interpersonal communication, which will have adverse consequences; (3) Due to personality differences, misunderstandings, contradictions and conflicts are brought in communication, resulting in personality disorder. Among them, emotional barriers account for a large proportion of college students' interpersonal barriers.
Emotional barriers are reflected in the following aspects:
First, inferiority complex. Inferiority is the enemy of interpersonal communication. People with low self-esteem are pessimistic, melancholy and withdrawn, afraid to associate with others, think that they are inferior to others everywhere, are introverted, and always feel that others look down on them. This kind of people are mainly caused by the following reasons: too much self-denial, negative self-suggestion, the influence of frustration and psychological or physical deficiency. For example, some students are short in stature, ugly in appearance, from humble origins, poor in learning and so on. There are many such students in the school.
Second, loneliness. Loneliness is a feeling of isolation from the world, with no one to communicate emotionally or ideologically, and a lonely psychological state. Lonely people often show listlessness, produce unsociable sadness, and affect their normal study, communication and life. This kind of students are mainly caused by the following reasons: personality, overconfidence and self-esteem, frustration.
Third, jealousy. Jealousy is a kind of unhappiness, shame, resentment and even destructive behavior caused by comparing with others in talent, study and reputation. The characteristics are: dissatisfaction with the strengths and achievements of others, and jealousy; Seeing that others are unwilling to take the lead, I always hope that others will fall behind me. Another feature of jealousy is that it has no courage to compete, and it often takes sarcasm, sarcasm, crackdown or even illegal behavior to cause harm to others. This situation has seriously hindered college students' mental health and communicative competence, and brought great difficulties to their adulthood and success.
Fourth, revenge psychology. The so-called revenge is to vent the dissatisfaction and resentment of those who bring setbacks to themselves through attacks in interpersonal communication. It is extremely aggressive and emotional. Revenge psychology and revenge behavior often occur when narrow-minded and bad-natured people are frustrated. According to the research of social psychologists, revenge psychology is not only related to personality characteristics, but also related to the attribution and environment of setbacks, and revenge is often carried out in a hidden form. Because revengers often appear as the weak, they don't have enough psychological endurance and public counterattack ability, so they have to take revenge in a hidden way! This kind of psychology has brought great resistance and pressure to the interpersonal communication of the revenger. Of course, the psychological obstacles of college students' interpersonal communication include social fear, suspicion and many other aspects besides the above contents.
Faced with so many psychological obstacles mentioned above, how can college students overcome, improve and strengthen interpersonal relationships? We can start from the following aspects:
First, pay attention to the principles of equality, compatibility and mutual benefit in interpersonal communication. First of all, we must adhere to equality, whether official or individual, there is no distinction between high and low; Secondly, the harmonious relationship between people can not be separated from the tolerance, tolerance and tolerance of others. Actively communicate with others, make friends, seek common ground while reserving differences, learn from each other's strengths, handle the relationship between competition and compatibility, and better improve yourself. Thirdly, interpersonal communication is a two-way behavior, so it is unreasonable to say that interpersonal communication that only benefits unilaterally cannot last long. Therefore, both sides should benefit, not only materially but also spiritually, so both sides should pay attention to dedication.
Second, learn to be tolerant in interpersonal communication. Misunderstandings and contradictions often occur in interpersonal communication. College students have strong personalities and close ties, which inevitably lead to contradictions. This requires college students not to haggle over every ounce in their communication, but to be modest, generous, restrained and patient, regardless of each other's attitude and words, and to be brave enough to assume their own behavioral responsibilities so that the Prime Minister can punt in his stomach. Tolerance and restraint are not signs of weakness and cowardice. On the contrary, it is a measurable performance, a lubricant for establishing good interpersonal relationships, and can turn enemies into friends and win more friends.
Third, interpersonal skills. If college students want to gain advantages in interpersonal communication, they must master certain skills. For example, remember other people's surnames or first names, take the initiative to greet people, and address them properly, so that others feel polite, valued, and give people an approachable impression; Generous and calm, make others feel relaxed and stimulate communication motivation; Cultivate a cheerful and lively personality, so that the other party feels very happy with you; Cultivate humorous words and deeds, humor without losing discretion, humor without frivolity, and give people beautiful enjoyment; Treat people with humility, kindness and respect, otherwise it will be counterproductive; Calm down and don't complain, so that not only you are happy and self-restrained, but others will be happy; Pay attention to the charm of language, comfort the injured, encourage those who fail and help those in trouble; People who are decisive, assertive, energetic and confident are easy to stimulate others' communication motivation, win their trust and recognition, and produce the charm that people are willing to communicate.
In fact, everyone is the master of his life, and the key is to change himself. Contemporary college students should understand and realize the importance of interpersonal communication, and find appropriate methods to cultivate their interpersonal skills and promote their interpersonal relationships.
refer to
1 yezi. Tsinghua's life planning. Xinhua Publishing House, 2002, first edition.
2 Fan Yu. The art of interpersonal communication. Beijing University of Technology Press, 2002, First Edition.
3 Zhang Wen, etc. Protect the spiritual home of college students. Haiyan Publishing House, 2000, first edition.
4 Xia Weidong. Ideological and moral cultivation. Renmin University of China Press, 2003, first edition.
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