Parents who have entered middle age must remember the song "Learn from Lei Feng's Good Example" sung when they were young. It was an era of heroes and hero worship. How many young souls those heroes inspired. Lei Feng, Wang Jie, Ouyang Hai, Chen Jingrun, Zhang Haidi ... These examples have been deeply engraved in the hearts of a generation, and no matter how many years have passed, they cannot be erased from their hearts. ...

Three cases

Case 1: Good Example and Bad Example

Mencius was naughty and playful when he was a child, and his mother made great efforts to inspire and educate him by setting an example. The Mencius family used to live near the cemetery. He often learns to bow down and cry with the children in the neighborhood and plays funeral games. Mother saw it and thought it was not the object of children's study, so she moved to the market with Mencius. When he arrived at the market, Mencius learned the game of merchants doing business with their neighbors' children, bowing to welcome guests and bargaining for a while. When mother knew this, she frowned again: This is not an example suitable for children to imitate. So they moved again. This time, they moved near the school. In the interaction with teachers and students, Mencius regarded them as role models and learned to keep order, be polite and love reading. Mother finally nodded with satisfaction: "This is where my son should live!" " "

Case 2: Good Friends VS Bad Friends

Huanhuan is in primary school this year, and she is in the same school as her neighbor's fifth-grade brother Xiaolin. There are several busy intersections between the school and the community. For the safety of Huanhuan's journey, his mother asked him to go to school with Xiao Lin's brother. Since then, Huanhuan has become Kobayashi's brother's "minion", almost obedient and idolized. One day after school, playful Kobayashi wanted to go to the Internet cafe to play games, but he was afraid that Huanhuan would go home to "report", so he asked Huanhuan to wait until he finished playing games and then go home together. In order to stabilize Huanhuan, Kobayashi taught him to play games and paid him back. Huanhuan has poor self-control and soon becomes addicted to games. She often plays games with Xiao Lin and lies to her mother when she comes home. Once, Kobayashi had no money on him, so he said to Huanhuan, "I made you play games so many times, and now it's your turn." Huan Huan has no money on him. In order to "treat" Kobayashi's brother, he actually put his little hand into his mother's wallet. ...

Case 3: Power and Pressure

With the popularity of Liu Yiting, a Harvard girl, many parents regard Liu Yiting as a successful model of their children and take their parents' education methods as a reference object-Xiao Fang's mother is no exception. "You see, Sister Liu Yiting was admitted to Harvard University because she is good at setting goals for herself at every stage." Mother said to Xiao Fang. So under the guidance of my mother's "goal-oriented education law", Xiao Fang, who is still in preschool, has a full schedule: she must master Pinyin before March and learn to use a dictionary before May ... When Xiao Fang was too anxious to spell the whole syllable "Yuan", her mother moved out the example and said, "You can't even pass the most basic Pinyin. How can you be admitted to Harvard University like Liu Yiting's sister in the future? Hearing this, Xiao Fang cried with a "wow": "Whoops, I don't want to learn Pinyin, and I will never learn Pinyin again! Loud noise ... "

The power of example is infinite.

● Text/Gu Xiaoshu

In social environment and real life, children always open their eyes and ears to observe and imitate. Observation is an important way for children to learn, and it is extremely important in the development of children's behavior. They keep learning and growing through observation. Therefore, from this theoretical level, the role model has a great influence on children. Bandura, an American psychologist, has made a follow-up survey and found that children will deliberately imitate the behaviors of adults and peers around them. Adult violence, violent scenes on TV and violent tendencies of peer groups will all become important influencing factors of children's aggressive behavior. On the contrary, parents set a good example for their children and create a good environment for their growth, and their prosocial behavior will be developed. Bandura, an American psychologist, strengthened the view that "the power of example is infinite" by studying aggressive behavior and prosocial behavior.

For children, the earliest and most inevitable role models are parents. In the process of individual growth, the influence of family, that is, the role model of family members, is very important to the development and formation of individual personality. The child has lived with his parents since the first day of his birth. What kind of example parents set for him, the child will develop in this direction. Psychology believes that a person's temperament is innate, while his personality is acquired. Parents' personality is actually a role model for children, which will inadvertently guide children to a life attitude. If parents are anxious, pessimistic and lack confidence in life, then this anxiety and pessimism will be transmitted to their children subtly, making them pessimistic and fragile, and they need more attention and care from adults to gain a sense of security. If parents have confidence in life and believe in the beauty of life, children can gain more sense of security and optimism from their parents' peaceful mentality and actively face the difficulties they face in life and study. Parents are children's first and most important teachers. Therefore, the influence of parents' role models on children is far-reaching. Parents should strive to reduce the negative factors in their children's growing environment and eliminate some bad "role models". We can visit our peers who spend a lot of time with our children, and selectively let them make friends and get in touch with social media to minimize the negative impact.

The role model in the story and the role model in the company.

● Text/Nangong Valley

Examples are drawn from a wide range of materials, both the characters in the story and the companions around the children. Those images and characters who are praised and praised can be role models in children's minds. Children do not have enough life experience and have not established their own value system. When choosing role models, they are more easily influenced by adults or the environment.

It is very beneficial to tell stories to children often. When children listen to wonderful stories, they can learn good character and behavior from them. One touching story nourishes their childhood and makes it colorful. The characters in the story become role models for children and inspire them to overcome difficulties when they meet them. Here, the concept of story is very broad, including all forms of works of art, such as comics, fairy tales, musicals and so on.

The specific image of children's thinking, coupled with limited life experience, the method of preaching is difficult for him to work. Only by providing concrete and vivid images for children's specific action methods can they arouse their attention and interest in learning imitation, and example demonstration is exactly the psychological characteristics of children.

Children prefer to lead by example rather than preaching. Parents can provide him with a good example, and children will eagerly imitate the behavior of moral people, especially when their parents approve of him.

Studies have proved that children like to imitate the behavior of their peers. If you take your child's companion as an example of imitation, you can deliberately set some situations to show the knowledge and behavior you want him to acquire. Such role models abound in the details of life, study and games, such as "Look, how clean Wei Wei's little hands are washed" and "Look, how neat the toys are". As long as the teacher praises a child, many children will imitate his good behavior.

These are positive examples, and negative examples cannot be ignored. Now there is a lot of violence in some film and television works and computer games. Children haven't the ability to distinguish right from wrong yet, so they will easily learn those aggressive languages and behaviors and feel fresh and exciting.

Similarly, among peers, it is not just good words and deeds that learn from each other. If adults don't criticize and stop bad behavior, bad behavior may also be regarded as an example for children to learn. The best way is for adults to remind their children in advance before they get into bad behavior, or to stop them in time when they just have such signs, and don't wait for them to form a habit before correcting them. These are all things that adults should pay special attention to when educating their children.