1463?

184?

1652

These are sweet testimony of my love. But now, I feel that they are lying in an APP on my mobile phone and giving me a sarcastic sneer.

The day before yesterday, March 3, 20654381day, was the fourth anniversary of my love. 146 1 day, I live with my boyfriend who is 1652 meters away. Slowly, we were changed by each other, yes, by each other, not for each other. Obviously, he forgot our anniversary again, and this time, I also chose silence. So on our anniversary, the day of this festival, which only belongs to the two of us, passed unremarkably. I seem to see our future days, leaving early and returning late every day, earning money to repay the loan, and the days are dull and boring. Every time I think about it, I feel a sense of fear about the future. I am more afraid that all my patience and romance will be worn away by my boyfriend bit by bit and eventually become two identical people.

I seem to have a sense of distance with my boyfriend recently. I often don't know what to say. I don't even want to laugh when he sends expression packs. I feel depressed every day, but I don't know how to solve it. I dare not break up, and I don't like the present state. Growing up, I have been longing for an infinitely beautiful love in my heart. I hope that in my lifetime, I can have a fairy-tale romantic love in my most youthful and beautiful age, and this romance does not belong to others, does not belong to the public, and only romanticizes the two of us. Looking back on these four years, I feel hungry and plain, and the love of youth has surpassed the feeling of boiled water. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is not a romantic. For four years, there are so many couples' days, birthdays, festivals and anniversaries every year, but my boyfriend surprises me only a handful of times. I tried to communicate this with him, but the answer was: I am such a person. What worries me more is that slowly, I have become such a person. After class in the afternoon, I was bored, opened my micro-love, and turned to the previous chat records and dynamics, which was two years ago. I don't believe that the trend I published two years ago is mine. I used to be so clingy, like the girl in Seeds of Love, and I had such a passionate love. And it was so strange that I didn't remember anything at all.

My boyfriend and I met in the afternoon of 14, 10. That afternoon, I went to the volleyball court. I never thought that I would be happy for the rest of my life. He is wearing a dark green shirt, and the sun shines on his face. His childish smile made me fall in love with him at first sight, getting closer and closer. Confession on New Year's Day, and finally the relationship was formally established on March 3 1, 15. From then on, I fell in love with him and even gave up the opportunity to change my major for him. Because of my personality, I really can't live without him. Now that I think about it, those seemingly non-mainstream words in love are actually right. In love, whoever speaks first loses. After that, my boyfriend didn't want to disclose our relationship. He didn't even want to walk with me. This relationship lasted for a long time. Strangely, I didn't express any dissatisfaction at first. It turns out that I have been humble for love. I used to be clumsy and ingenious, which has nothing to do with me, but I am willing to start learning to knit scarves for him. From the very beginning, I ran to the store eight times before I finally succeeded. Once, I bought a nice notebook for my little romance. Since my birthday, I have written a love story of 148 pages every day on his birthday. I wonder if he still has it. Later, I found that I have been playing a romantic role. The romantic love I want is a bit fierce. The most tense time of the relationship was probably when I was internship in Chengdu in 16. Frequent quarrels made me almost want to give up this relationship. He was so mean to me that he almost did it. But I still live like this. After returning to Jinan, it reached freezing point. He told me about breaking up once, which I will never forget. Although he is very kind to me now, I always remember that once he wanted to break up with me. What is even more difficult for me to get over is that on the day of our graduation, he didn't say anything, let alone want to take a photo with me. So, we don't even have a picture of a bachelor's uniform.

Although he is still not a romantic, he is really kind to me. He will remember my eating habits and avoid bringing sesame seeds when shopping, knowing that I like mangoes and don't eat ripe tomatoes. And I seem to be the spoiled and arrogant person. I don't want to give him a good birthday, brush some romantic tricks, or even talk to him all the time. We graduated and grew up. /kloc-In June of 0/8, we officially started a long-distance relationship between Shanghai and Jinan. Today is day 184. I've never been apart from him. Because I miss him so much, I am willing to go back to Jinan by train for one night. Living with him for the first time makes me feel the happiness I have never had before. I will wait for him to get off work and buy food together every day. Put up with my little temper and indulge my bad habits. I'm afraid I can't use pale words to describe how much I yearn for this life. At the same time, we also tacitly avoided talking about that sensitive topic-my plans after graduation.

I think I've changed. I have to admit that during my master's degree, my friends' boyfriends were all excellent and romantic, and my boyfriends played games after work every day, and my mobile phone and computer alternated uninterrupted, which made me feel as if I was the only one working hard for our future. I especially hope that he can come to Shanghai to accompany me, but after he stood me up here, I completely gave up the idea. Looking at other people's love records every day, I feel unspeakable in my heart. what can I do? I admit that my psychology is changing gradually, and I also know that although this is human nature, I will still blame myself for vanity in my heart. Therefore, the previous connivance and arrogance may come out again and may become more and more unreasonable. Everything. Everything. It all broke out on his birthday, and he was angry with me again, and his words were fierce and radical. To tell the truth, I was shocked at that time, and I planted another pimple in my heart, which is still there today. Since that incident, our friction has always existed. Finally, one day, we talked frankly. He has his difficulties and difficulties, and we finally come to the conclusion that we don't know anyone. Finally, I decided to face it frankly and spend some time discussing our future plans with him.

If you want to review four years of dribs and drabs, if you elaborate, I'm afraid you can't finish talking for ten days and ten nights. I think the number of words is enough for me to send a master's thesis. Some time ago, I was very sad. I am very confused about my future, and I am not satisfied with the present situation. I once wanted to drop out of school. At that time, all my friends' boyfriends were there, which formed a huge gap in my heart. I made a bet with myself with the idea of giving it a try. I told my boyfriend that I missed him and wanted to see him. I expect that the plot in the TV series will happen in my life, and he will come to see me by car immediately. At that time, I told myself that if he really came, I would definitely marry him in my life. Unfortunately, the TV series is a TV series after all, and he didn't come. Later, I really felt depressed and wanted to see him, trying to persuade him to meet in Suzhou a week later, even if it was only less than two days. He agreed, and I was very excited. I bought a ticket at once. I feel much better all day, but history is always strikingly similar. This good mood didn't last long. The reason why he stood me up was simple: work. One of his reasons is that he wants to stay with me for a few more days next month In fact, now that I think about it, maybe he just wants to relax for a few days, not that I miss him. There are too few days to relax this month. Let's do it next month.

We haven't talked all day today. I don't know what to do, and I can't tell if I want to break up. I can't imagine life without him. He has been a part of my life for so many years, and I don't know if I can live normally without him. To this day, he still can't change the habit of not being romantic and having no sense of ceremony, and I can't seem to change the cold war that he can't stand. I lost confidence in this relationship for the first time. Someone once said that if you want to get what kind of love, you must first love in what way. I think it makes sense, but why am I the one who has been changed? Thinking of living this boring life for the rest of my life, I may still lack the courage to change the status quo.

My roommate and boyfriend went back to the cabin just now. I envy again.