Abstract: For a long time, school management has always favored institutionalized management, but it lacks rational thinking about non-institutionalized management, and so does class management. With the continuous prominence of "people-oriented management" in school management science, interpersonal relationship is increasingly regarded as a new perspective of school management science. This paper tries to find a new way to optimize class management through the interpretation, cognition and construction of class interpersonal relationship, so as to serve the education and teaching reform.

Keywords: interpersonal relationship; Management benefit; Class management

Class management is not only a science, but also an art. How to improve the efficiency of class management and organically unify the scientificity and artistry of class management is an important topic worth pondering by every educator, especially the class teacher, and it is also an ideal goal that we should pursue in class management in the new period.

How can we realize the idealized class management model we are looking for? The author believes that the breakthrough point is to improve the interpersonal relationship in the class, establish the idea of "student-oriented", fully mobilize and give play to the enthusiasm and initiative of teachers and students in work and study, promote the mutual benefit between teachers and students in the process of education and teaching, and finally realize the optimization of class management.

1. Harmonious relationship among students

Students are the masters of the class, and the harmony of the class is first of all the harmony among students. Students are not only collaborators and competitors in learning, but also friends and partners in life. How to deal with the relationship between students has an important impact on the construction of harmonious classes and campuses, which not only affects students' ability to deal with interpersonal relationships and mental health, but also affects the cohesion and centripetal force of class collectives. Nowadays, most students are only children, and there are many problems such as being spoiled, selfish, narrow-minded, arrogant, self-righteous, self-centered, etc. Conflicts in the class are inevitable. If it is not handled properly, it will definitely affect the class spirit and class harmony. I instill in every student the concept of "cherishing fate, attaching importance to friendship, being kind to others, diluting contradictions and being tolerant". Do more publicity and positive guidance for the good deeds that help and care for each other among classmates. Create a democratic and equal educational atmosphere. Discuss students, criticize and self-criticize through the heart-to-heart class meeting, and guide students. Let students learn to respect, understand, unite, tolerate and be friendly, and learn to put themselves in others' shoes, take others as the heart, and take the collective as the heart to regulate their own behavior, which is the highest criterion for dealing with interpersonal relationships, thus creating a harmonious classmate relationship.

2. Harmonious teacher-student relationship

The relationship between teachers and students is the most basic and important relationship in school education activities, and it is the core content of creating a harmonious class. Whether the relationship between teachers and students is harmonious or not plays an important role in restricting the whole education and teaching process. To achieve harmony between teachers and students, it is necessary to establish a correct relationship between teachers and students. There was an old saying in China that "a teacher for a day, a father for life" probably summed up the traditional harmonious relationship between teachers and students. The new teacher-student relationship is based on democracy and equality. In this relationship, teachers and students are equal in personality, respect each other, learn from each other and learn from each other. Teachers are students' collaborators, guides and friends. How to establish a new teacher-student relationship of "being a teacher and friend"? How to achieve harmony between teachers and students? I think the head teacher should always adhere to the educational concept of respecting students, protecting their legitimate rights and creating a democratic and equal space; Appreciate and encourage students to create space for personality development and progress every day; Care for students, love students, and create a space of mutual help and love. We should always pay attention to adjusting the psychological distance between teachers and students, put down the shelf of managers, walk into the middle of students, care about students, listen to their voices, think what they think and worry about them, effectively solve the problems existing in their study and life, and strive to be their mentor.

3. Harmonious teacher-student relationship

A harmonious class is inseparable from the harmony of teachers. Building a harmonious class is inseparable from the unity and cooperation of the head teacher, and it is far from enough to rely on the head teacher to fight alone. The head teacher should create a harmonious relationship of mutual respect, mutual understanding, friendship, unity and cooperation between himself and the teacher, and between teachers and teachers. Strengthen communication, understanding and respect with teachers. Listen to teachers' suggestions, help them establish prestige, help improve the relationship between teachers and students, resolve conflicts between teachers and do a good job in coordination. We must not favour one over the other. Only when everyone thinks in one place and works hard in one place can the greatest effect be exerted.

4. Understand the new idea of "student-oriented" class interpersonal relationship management.

The enlightenment of humanistic management thought to class management is that only by firmly establishing the idea of "student-oriented" can we give full play to the enthusiasm and initiative of each kind of children and finally achieve the goal of optimizing class management.

To treat popular children, we should not only affirm their strengths and advantages realistically, but also make them full of confidence, keep forging ahead and strive for better results; At the same time, we should analyze their behavior from two aspects, so that they can see their shortcomings and deficiencies in front of their achievements, so that they can always keep a clear head and effectively overcome their complacency. In addition, we should also teach them the general skills and skills of interpersonal communication, and guide them to actively contact other students, not to leave the class collective, and to develop with other students. For the middle children, our methods are: first, make use of the advantages of the middle children, arrange their work reasonably, let them reflect their value in their work and promote their transformation in a good direction; Secondly, absorb middle-aged children to participate in class management, so that they can enhance their self-confidence in practice and realize the role of interpersonal coordination, so as to get along with others voluntarily; Thirdly, carry out various forms of extracurricular activities, encourage them to participate actively, and let them feel the collective strength and the charm of unity in the activities. We should pay attention to methods when treating children we don't like, because these children are far from the class psychologically, and they have rejection and resistance to teachers and other students. They are often in the psychological field of "broken cans and broken falls" and their self-esteem is very fragile. Therefore, to help these children establish good interpersonal relationships, we must do the following: first, we must respect them and protect their fragile self-esteem; Second, always use a magnifying glass to find the "bright spot" on them, and strive to let the disgusted children see their "light and hope"; Third, ask other students, first of all, the class teacher, to lead by example, take the lead in accepting children who don't like them and dispel their doubts. Through various effective methods, the psychological distance between the disgusted children and other classmates and teachers is gradually narrowed, and the psychological "running-in" is further realized.

5. Construct specific methods to optimize class interpersonal relationship.

There are many ways to establish good class interpersonal relationship. Here are some effective methods.

5. 1

Situational edification method. The so-called situational edification method is to create a class cultural atmosphere, so that students can feel the collective charm in a harmonious atmosphere, thus consciously and voluntarily generating a centripetal force for the class. This method has a subtle influence on the improvement of class interpersonal relationship. Using this method, we must pay attention to the following points: (1) Strengthen the construction of class culture and strive to create a harmonious cultural atmosphere. Specific measures include making class conventions, posting slogans reflecting the mainstream culture of the class, changing class magazines regularly, setting up a record book of good deeds, and summarizing and appraising regularly. (2) Strengthen the construction of class style. Class spirit is a reflection of a class's mental outlook. Practice has proved that if the class spirit is positive, the interpersonal relationship will be harmonious, the group cohesion will be strong, and the collective can exert its greatest potential in this state. It can be seen that strengthening the construction of class spirit is of great significance to improve class interpersonal relationship. (3) Form correct collective opinions in the class. Public opinion is a kind of mass opinion, which has a certain normative effect on the words and deeds of every member of the class collective. In a certain sense, public opinion plays an irreplaceable role in coordinating class interpersonal relations and inspiring righteousness.

5.2

Strengthen mental health education. Man's physical and mental harmony is the basic condition of social harmony. With the development of economy and society, the pace of people's work and life is obviously accelerated, all kinds of competition are fierce, and mental stress is increasing day by day. Some people will inevitably be psychologically and spiritually impacted, and psychological entanglements and conflicts will occur to varying degrees, resulting in more psychological obstacles and mental illness. Many people silently suffer from mental illness.

According to the statistics of relevant departments, people suffering from various mental disorders and mental diseases account for about 20% of the total population. To establish harmonious interpersonal relationships and build a harmonious society, we must strengthen mental health education, advocate the concept of harmony, cultivate harmonious spirit, and cultivate self-esteem, self-confidence, rationality, peace, initiative and healthy social mentality. It is necessary to carry out colorful cultural and sports activities, integrate mental health education into activities, effectively regulate people's emotions and psychology, and eliminate negative emotions such as depression, loneliness and loss [3] 15 1, so as to make them psychologically healthy and happy.

5.3

Carry forward traditional virtues and cultivate noble sentiments. The traditional virtues of the Chinese nation are the moral essence formed and developed in the long history of the Chinese nation, the sum of Chinese etiquette and the core of Chinese excellent ideological and cultural traditions. To establish harmonious interpersonal relationships, we must carry forward traditional virtues and cultivate noble sentiments. Among the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation, honesty and trustworthiness occupy an extremely important position. As a basic moral requirement, honesty has been passed down in China culture for thousands of years. Build the country with sincerity, build the country with sincerity and seek development with sincerity. Harmonious interpersonal relationship should be a relationship of honesty and friendship, and honesty is the basic requirement for people to get along with each other and the premise of friendship. Without honesty, there will be no trust and understanding between people; Without friendly care, social harmony is impossible.

5.4

Carry out criticism and self-criticism. Criticism and self-criticism are one of the three fine styles of our party. The purpose of criticism and self-criticism is to uphold the truth, correct mistakes and strengthen unity. Engels pointed out that "unity does not exclude mutual criticism. Without such criticism, it is impossible to achieve unity. Without criticism, we can't understand each other, so we can't talk about unity "[4]423. Within the people, we should proceed from the desire of unity and harmony, distinguish right from wrong through criticism and self-criticism, eliminate barriers, correct mistakes, resolve contradictions, achieve new unity and establish harmonious interpersonal relationships.

5.5

Strengthen and improve ideological and political work. Comrade Hu Jintao pointed out in the report of the 17th National Congress of the Communist Party of China: "Strengthen and improve ideological and political work, pay attention to humanistic care and psychological counseling, and correctly handle interpersonal relationships." [2] The words "humanistic care" and "psychological counseling" first appeared in the report of the National Party Congress, which reflected the people-oriented purpose of ideological and political education and the innovation of keeping pace with the times. To establish a harmonious interpersonal relationship, we must adhere to the principle of people-oriented, understanding, respecting and caring for people throughout the whole process of ideological and political work, pay attention to ideological and political education, humanistic care and psychological counseling, avoid the accumulation of bad mentality, guide the benign change of social mentality, and help people achieve psychological harmony in a subtle way. We should pay attention to people's feelings and needs in many aspects and guide people to strengthen their self-cultivation, improve their spiritual realm and perfect their personality. It is necessary to combine solving ideological problems with solving practical problems [3] 153, do good deeds and practical things for the masses, reduce their worries, fully mobilize their enthusiasm, enhance the cohesion of their own units and departments, and strive to improve work efficiency.

refer to

[1] Shao Ruizhen: Educational Psychology Shanghai Education Press

[2] Wang Jianhua: "Ideological and Political Education Theory and Practice" Central Literature Publishing House.

The second paper on establishing good interpersonal relationship

Good interpersonal relationship is the basis for the healthy growth of contemporary college students. First of all, we should guide college students to establish a correct concept of interpersonal relationship. Active participation and intentional communication are effective ways for college students to establish good interpersonal relationships. Effective communication can not be separated from a positive attitude such as sincerity, kindness, concern, equal respect and tolerance. Improving personality accomplishment is the key for college students to establish good interpersonal relationships.

Keywords: college students; Interpersonal relationship; Mentality; path

First, improving the understanding of interpersonal relationships is the basis for college students to establish good interpersonal relationships.

(1) Introduction

Interpersonal relationship is a direct psychological relationship or psychological distance between people in the process of activities. Interpersonal relationship reflects people's psychological state of seeking to meet their needs. According to statistics, except sleeping, college students spend about 70% of their rest time on interpersonal communication, which shows the importance of interpersonal communication among college students. College students are in the golden age of their lives. Their study and life are inseparable from interpersonal communication, and their healthy growth is also inseparable from interpersonal communication. Therefore, the establishment of college students' good interpersonal relationship is the need of college students' life, the need of going to society in the future, and the cornerstone of their future career development and happiness.

(B) the significance of interpersonal relationships

Friendship is a bright light in college students' life. College students are eager for friendship and colorful interpersonal communication, so as to enrich their life knowledge, understand life, exchange emotions, learn to live, establish themselves and gain self-confidence. College students' interpersonal communication is a necessity of college students' life. Therefore, good interpersonal relationship is of great significance. First, promote individual development. Interpersonal relationship plays an extremely important role in individual development. Marx pointed out long ago: "The development of human beings depends directly and indirectly on the development of all others." In the process of interpersonal communication, college students can understand their own advantages and disadvantages, and through the attitude and evaluation of others, they can understand themselves comprehensively and objectively. Second, get all kinds of information. The process of establishing interpersonal relationship is first of all the process of information exchange between the two parties, and information exchange and communication are important ways to acquire knowledge. After all, what a person learns directly from books is limited. Even if he is poor in classics and rich in knowledge, he is only a drop in the bucket in the flood of new information in modern society. Through interpersonal communication, we can exchange information directly, enrich knowledge and exchange ideas in a faster way, and improve people's understanding of knowledge. Third, improve physical and mental health. Good interpersonal relationship is very important for personal physical and mental health. Confucius once said, "It is a great pleasure to have friends from afar." In the process of growing up, college students need to communicate with people and get spiritual support, and they need to get understanding and relief from friends, so as to gain a sense of security, satisfaction and improve their self-confidence. On the contrary, the imbalance of interpersonal relationship often leads to psychological imbalance and easily leads to physical and mental diseases. Fourth, adapt to social needs and build a harmonious society. Good interpersonal relationship of college students is to lay a good foundation for the future society. College students come from all over the country with different customs. College students come from different families. They have different temperaments, personalities, interests, hobbies and needs. Only by learning to live in harmony with all kinds of people can we adapt to more complicated interpersonal relationships, live in harmony with the public and build a harmonious society in the future. Everything goes well at home and all ethnic groups live in harmony, so the country is prosperous and the world is at peace. Fifth, promote academic progress and career success. Learning alone without friends is ignorance. The exchange of needed items among college students will generate new sparks in their ideological collision, promote their academic progress, and increase their positive views on career, life and success. Mutual help among friends will contribute to career success. Throughout the ages, the success of many celebrities is inseparable from their good interpersonal relationships. In the Tang Dynasty, Li Shimin understood that "water can carry a boat, but it can also overturn it", so he could care about his subjects and get their support. Wang Lun contributed to Li Bai's success, and Li Bai praised friendship as "Peach Blossom Pond is deeper than thousands of feet, not as good as Wang Lun". The success of Marx and Engels is also inseparable from their mutual concern and help.

Second, intentional communication is an effective way for college students to establish good interpersonal relationships.

Psychological research shows that a positive and healthy interpersonal atmosphere is an important condition affecting interpersonal relationships, in which active participation and intentional communication are a positive and effective way. Communicating with positive attitudes such as sincerity, kindness, concern, equality, respect and tolerance will help shorten the distance between people and enhance mutual communication.

(1) Sincerity

Mencius said, "Knowing the other is important, knowing the other is important." As the saying goes, "watering flowers and roots and making friends" is the key to good popularity. Only by making friends can people feel sincere. Sincerity is a bridge between people. Only when the two sides are soul mates and treat each other sincerely can they understand each other, build trust and forge a profound friendship. Sincerity means treating others sincerely, telling the truth, doing practical things, being sincere, honest, not hypocritical and not lying. Treat each other sincerely, and your heart is sincere. Sincerity can touch each other and make a bad relationship better, such as the famous "reconciliation" in history. Sincerity can also eliminate misunderstandings and make the relationship between people better.

(b) Equality of thought

Equality mainly refers to the equality of attitudes of both sides. Each of us has our own independent personality, personal dignity and legal rights and obligations, and everyone is equal in personality. In college students' interpersonal communication, physical age is not a problem, social status is not a gap, family background should not be an obstacle, the gap between rich and poor should not be a balance, and seniority should not be a problem. Friendship will last only if people treat each other as equals.

(3) respect.

"Respect people, people always respect them; People who love others will always love others. " Respect others, value others, and you will gain their respect. Everyone has self-esteem, wants to be respected by others, and has a natural affinity and identity with those who respect themselves. Giving others enthusiasm is actually giving others support and encouragement, which can greatly enhance each other's self-affirmation. Keep your heart in your heart and others will respect you at the same time. Respect is based on psychological equality, and respect can bring positive feedback. Give me a peach and return it to Qiong Yao. "Warming the fire of others will also warm yourself."

(4) Tolerance

Tolerance, openness and generosity, broad-mindedness, is a higher realm of treating people. "Tolerance is great, rigid without desire", "gathering friends with generosity" and "accommodating things that are difficult to tolerate in the world" all illustrate the benefits of tolerance, which are manifested in many aspects: seeking common ground while reserving differences for people and friends, and not treating others with their own special personality or hobbies; Can tolerate friends' mistakes and forget the past; Be able to accept criticism with an open mind and take the initiative to check, instead of whitewashing peace and shirking responsibility; Don't haggle over every ounce, be bitter; Be able to listen to all kinds of opinions and make yourself wiser. Han Xin, who suffered from "the humiliation of his legs", repaid evil with good and turned his enemy into a friend; Regardless of personal grievances, Qi Huangong appointed Guan Zhong, who shot an arrow at him, as the phase, and achieved a generation of hegemony; Liu Xiu, Emperor Guangwu, revived the Han Dynasty by "never rejecting dissidents, never forgetting old evils, cherishing and tolerating the masses, and being grateful to the subjects". And so on, the magnanimity of these emperors and generals deserves our deep thinking and reference.

(5) Patience

This is an important attitude to improve interpersonal relationships. When people get along with each other, they should be patient. "A gentleman can tolerate what others can't tolerate, tolerate what others can't tolerate, and deal with what others can't tolerate" and "endure a calm moment and take a step back." Be patient when other people's bad words and bad behaviors hurt you. Be patient and clear. The classic says, "No wonder our ancestors were bad, ignorant of morality and speechless." This is because others have not received this kind of education and do not understand it, so it is not surprising; Patience is also the overall situation. For the sake of collective unity and family harmony, we must endure, let go if we can, and forgive others. We might as well advocate the spirit of "a loss is a blessing".

Thirdly, improving one's personality cultivation is the key for college students to establish good interpersonal relationships.

In the process of interpersonal communication, college students often reflect a person's moral quality, thoughts and feelings, personality temperament, knowledge education, attitude towards life and even family ties, that is, personal cultivation will be reflected in social communication, which requires college students to enrich their inner world and improve themselves from appearance to speech, from image to knowledge. Personality traits conducive to college students' interpersonal communication mainly include the following points:

(1) Integrity and honesty

Integrity is decency, not crooked ways. It brings friendship, trust, admiration and respect. Honest people express their opinions, regardless of grievances, and treat each other honestly; Deal with problems, adhere to principles and handle affairs impartially; Be a man, be aboveboard and uphold justice; Treat people with good manners and noble personality. Honesty is the sister of integrity. Only honesty can make people feel at ease and gain the trust of others. Zhou Enlai once said, "People who think they are smart often come to no good end. The smartest person in the world is the most honest person, because only honest people can stand the test of facts and history. "

(2) Have good intentions

Being kind to others is the essence of China traditional culture and the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation. Helping others is helping yourself, and losing is taking advantage. The sociality and existence of human beings produce mutual attraction and affinity between people, which requires love and friendship. In the process of interpersonal communication, college students should be kind and always think for others, the collective and the society. Because you are good, I am good, and everyone's good is really good. Because there is goodwill, there is a good attitude and good behavior.

(3) Say a good word.

When interacting with people, we should speak well of others, use pleasant, cordial, elegant and appropriate language, praise others more and appreciate them more. American psychologist William? James pointed out: "Praise can make a weak body strong, give a fearful heart peace and reliance, give a wounded nerve rest and strength, and give people in adversity the determination to succeed." It is reported that a peasant woman in Guangxi learned to say "thank you", "you are so kind" and "you are so kind" in many languages and some daily expressions. As a result, many foreign tourists asked her to be a tour guide. Be good at execution and say thank you generously. Sincere and heartfelt thanks shine with the brilliance of human nature.

(4) Do good deeds

"Don't do small good, don't do small evil". Do more good deeds and help others. Psychologists have found that interpersonal relationships that start with mutual help are not only easy to determine a good first impression, but also can quickly shorten the psychological distance between people, thus quickly establishing good interpersonal relationships. A friend in need is a friend in need, and it also needs the psychological function of "giving charcoal in the snow" and "icing on the cake".

(5) Optimizing personality

In college students' interpersonal communication, personality such as paranoia, compulsion, conceit, paranoia and inferiority will hinder interpersonal communication. Therefore, transforming bad personality and cultivating and optimizing good personality are important aspects of establishing and developing good interpersonal relationships. Huang Xiting, a psychologist in China, has studied the personality characteristics of college students' good interpersonal relationships: respect for others, responsibility for work, honesty, enthusiasm, cheerfulness, helpfulness, independence and modesty, wide interests, optimism and humor, modesty and elegance. Good personality characteristics have considerable personality charm, which easily makes people feel lovely and amiable, thus greatly promoting the development of interpersonal relationships.

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