Based on college students' psychological problems, this paper analyzes the essence, expression and self-adjustment of college students' jealousy, which has certain reference value for people who are looking for materials of college students' psychological problems and thinking about how to overcome jealousy. Abstract: As an organic part of the psychological world, the appearance of jealousy is normal and inevitable. But if left unchecked, its harm is self-evident. Therefore, only by correctly understanding and consciously guiding jealousy can we promote the healthy growth of individual psychology. This paper analyzes the essence and manifestations of college students' jealousy, and summarizes the self-regulation measures for college students to overcome jealousy. Keywords: college students; Jealousy; Self-regulation. College students are in the youth of their lives. Youth is a turbulent period. Many western scholars describe the physical and mental characteristics of young people as "distress period", "resistance period", "crisis period", "contradiction period" and "conflict period". Compared with other age groups, teenagers have obvious psychological characteristics such as physical and mental excitement, ideological turmoil, quick thinking, thirst for knowledge and strong desire for creation. Youth is the "four peaks" period of physiological change, intellectual development, demand and creation, so youth psychology is often in a state of turmoil. In addition, when faced with major problems in life, such as further education and employment, choice of life path, love and marriage, etc., improper handling is easy to produce jealousy. First, the definition of jealousy There is a famous story of "women's jealousy" in Youyang Miscellanies: it is said that Liu's wife Duan's jealousy. Liu Zeng praised the beauty of Luoshen in Cao Zhi's Poem "Ode to Luoshen". Hearing this, Duan said angrily, "How can you look down on me for being beautiful? If I die, why not be a water god? " The consequence is really suicide by drowning. So later generations called the place where she drowned herself "Jealous Woman Tianjin". It is said that all women who cross this Tianjin are afraid to wear makeup, otherwise it will cause a storm. So, what is jealousy? Because the social psychology and behavior of jealousy is the product of a complex social psychology, it is quite difficult to give a concise and clear definition of jealousy. According to my understanding, jealousy is a negative emotion, which refers to an emotional experience of shame, anger and resentment for many years when one's talent, reputation, status or situation are surpassed by others or the distance between them is shortened. It has obvious hostility, even attacks and slanders, which not only hurts others, but also creates great obstacles to interpersonal relationships and eventually destroys itself. People with similar status, age and experience are prone to jealousy. 2. The root and connotation of jealousy According to the psychological explanation, jealousy refers to the mixed psychology of fear (fear that others are stronger than themselves) and anger (anger that others are stronger than themselves), which is to suspect that one's property may be violated, thus causing panic or anxiety. It can be seen that jealousy is produced in comparison with others. In real life, people often measure happiness not according to its intrinsic value, but always compare it with the happiness of others, and further express this estimate vividly. The formation process of jealousy can be divided into three stages according to its degree: the first stage is the budding stage (jealousy stage). This is the earliest and shallowest stage. At this time, jealousy began to breed, but it was deeply hidden in people's subconscious and has not been clearly revealed. The second stage is the development stage (jealousy stage), which is a deeper jealousy. Its characteristic is that jealousy of people and things is no longer hidden in the heart, but consciously or unconsciously expressed through external behavior. Such as direct or indirect cynicism, abusive language, arbitrary distortion of facts, etc. The third stage is the deepening stage (jealousy stage). This is the highest stage of jealousy development. People's jealousy is very strong at this time. Driven by strong hostility and hatred, they completely lose their minds and will commit some extreme violent acts, such as theft, arson, smuggling and other criminal acts that have a negative impact on society. Therefore, jealousy is an essential defect of human beings and an innate inferiority complex in human nature. It is a negative and unhealthy social psychology and emotion. Fundamentally speaking, jealousy stems from pathological competition and is closely related to one's personality, cultural background, experience and world outlook. The sources of jealousy are: (1) People with personality defects such as self-isolation, inferiority and egocentrism are prone to jealousy. (2) A specific cultural background, such as the Confucian doctrine of the mean, does not suffer from widowhood but from inequality. (3) It is impossible and unnecessary to know yourself objectively and always think that you should be superman. (4) The role positioning is wrong and you can't enjoy yourself. (5) Only when you have no ambition and nothing to do, will you play tricks on others. (6) When self-realization is blocked, jealousy is easy to occur. Third, the manifestations of college students' jealousy 1. Academic jealousy learning activity is the leading activity of college students. Learning activities strongly affect the psychological process and characteristics of college students. Many new problems and new situations, such as examinations, the evaluation of outstanding students, and the insurance research, need young people to face and adapt. If not handled properly, it will lead to jealousy. It is not only manifested in the envy of gifted students by poor students, but also produced in gifted students. Especially gifted students get more praise in their studies, which is always accompanied by flowers and applause. They are used to their superior position. Once the grades drop and become "average" or "poor", there will be a psychological gap, nervousness and jealousy. 2. Envy from interpersonal aspects is still facing identity crisis in youth. Due to the lack of basic knowledge and skills in interpersonal communication, the narrow circle of communication is likely to cause serious arrogance, hostility and aggression, and lead to interpersonal conflicts. Some college students have a low status in the class, they are not elected as "class cadres", are not rated as "three good students", or rank lower in the evaluation of Excellence. For a long time, they have been neglected and excluded in the collective. Seeing that other students have excellent academic performance, excellent work and good popularity, they are always praised by teachers and school leaders, distressed and even jealous, resulting in inexplicable disgust and disgust. People with excellent grades, strong interpersonal skills and excellent work often become the envy of them. 3. Emotional jealousy is also a common psychological state in college students' love. Jealousy in love is caused by exclusiveness, possessiveness, excessive attention, inferiority, suspicion and insecurity of love. Young men and women in love often regard each other as their own. Once you find that your lover is in contact with other opposite sex, you will feel uncomfortable all over, and there will be a nameless fire in your heart, and you will be imprisoned. What's more, even if your lover talks about the advantages of friends of the opposite sex, it will lead to suspicion and jealousy. It is also a sign of jealousy that the lovelorn person retaliates against the ungrateful person who abandoned himself with shame and anger. Everyone has the envy of beautiful appearance. But in the same group, some college students are handsome and naturally beautiful, while others are plain. At this time, those beautiful college students are particularly easy to be envied (especially female college students). Especially when their appearance, figure and physical defects become a stumbling block to progress, these college students lack self-confidence in their appearance and charm, think that others have created and brought pain to themselves, have nameless jealousy for those who look outstanding, and take actions to belittle, neglect or even maliciously slander others to eliminate inner injustice. 5. Jealous that college students are economically dependent or not completely independent, and their daily expenses, study and job hunting expenses still need to be paid by their families. However, college students from poor areas have to rely on work-study programs, loans and poverty subsidies to pay high tuition and living expenses. Some college students think that applying for loans and poverty subsidies will lose face in front of their classmates and worry about being looked down upon. Some college students covet enjoyment and pursue high consumption, but their material requirements are often constrained. Seeing that students with good economic conditions spend generously, but they are short of money, they have an inferiority complex of "learning mathematics, physics and chemistry well is not as good as having a good father", and they have a complex mentality of hate and envy, anger and resentment, humiliation and vanity for students with superior family conditions. 6. Jealousy from job hunting and job hunting often appears in college students who are about to graduate. Because the current employment mechanism is not perfect and standardized, many employed people find well-paid and leisure jobs by pulling connections, entering through the back door, relying on human feelings and relying on banknotes, which also causes a huge psychological blow to college students who are about to find employment, rejecting, satirizing, alienating and embarrassing people who are superior to their positions, so as to vent their dissatisfaction and seek psychological balance. 4. How do college students adjust their jealousy? The results of psychological research show that whether a person will be jealous is related to his understanding, judgment, restraint, belief, social conscience, education, personality and other factors, and is the result of the interaction of many factors. When these factors can't reach equilibrium or appear deviation, it will inevitably have an impact on people's psychology and behavior. Jealousy has both positive and negative effects, but more negative effects. Jealousy is a double-edged sword. Only by acknowledging it and adapting to it correctly can we play a positive role in college students themselves. Some ways to adjust yourself to get rid of jealousy: (1) lower your expectations. (2) Enhance self-cultivation and cultivate tolerance. (3) Understand that everyone has talent, and everyone's development is uneven. (4) Cooperate with others. (5) Be honest with others, care about others, keep close contact with others and deepen understanding. (6) Cultivate a philosophical attitude towards life and enjoy life. (7) Try not to compare with others, but with your own past. (8) treat the achievements of others as a contribution to society, not as a deprivation or threat to oneself, and appreciate the success of others as a landscape. (9) Learn to praise others to show your broad and tolerant mind by praising others. (10) Publicly show your ambition to the other party, improve your position in the other party's mind, increase the pressure on yourself to apply, and use competition to promote your progress. (1 1) Enrich one's life, foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, seek new self-worth, give play to one's due potential, open up new fields and establish a new power set. (12) Really powerful people need to work hard. Bacon once said: "Everyone who is immersed in his own career has no time to envy others."