I often hear such words on various occasions and in various media: "Children's wings are hard and they don't listen to adults!" We often come into contact with the word that describes children now: "flowers in the greenhouse." Of course, parents want their children to be confident and self-reliant, but many times they are not confident and self-reliant because they cannot be cultivated. Nowadays, many parents do everything for their children, from packing toys in childhood, dressing and washing clothes in adolescence, cleaning rooms for young people and so on. This does not include all kinds of interest classes and study classes for children. Some parents send their children to martial arts schools and even train gymnastics at home ... These things are still arranged by parents, and there is no voluntary and active participation of children, so self-confidence and self-improvement still have to take a detour. And if parents do it alone, it will be accompanied by parents' expectations. The shortcomings in all children's behaviors may bring disappointment, parents' dissatisfaction, and children's self-blame ... This is getting farther and farther away from self-confidence.

Then how can we cultivate children's self-confidence and self-improvement quality?

1 Let children set goals.

As the post-80s generation, we work during the day and come home at night, either facing the computer or the smart phone. We have never thought about or paid attention to what our children are doing in their spare time. Are they fiddling with what they have at hand, or looking around in empty eyes, or enjoying some "masterpieces" with relish and interest? Some children with weak willpower feel boring no matter what they do, and are easily hated by people around them, often causing trouble to others, but they don't know that they have caused trouble to others and are easily rejected by their peers. When children grow up in such a state, they will suddenly find themselves sad as parents and regret why they didn't pay attention to their children's actions. In some cases, they won't give them a round or guide them into the role. When the child grows up day by day, it is too late. At that time, children have become people with poor self-control and weak willpower.

Because of weak willpower, there is no goal. Without a goal, there is no good beginning. Even if there is, it will be easy to give up quickly, so in the end, you will be bored because there is nothing to do. Such children usually get together to seek excitement, do bad things, and often disturb their peers' activities, such as deliberately stepping on other people's building blocks during the activity time or during the construction of family gatherings, affecting the collective order and deliberately attracting the attention of parents or teachers.

How to help children set goals is something we should know. Every child's situation is different. The goal should be realistic, not too high, and let the children achieve it. If it is too high, the child will not lose confidence. Want to help children, but also understand their hearts. Only by knowing what the child thinks in his heart can you guide the child better. Many parents believe that children should not be allowed to lose at the starting line. A child learns a few words and recognizes them in a few days, which is a big mistake. Even some parents think that their children are not outstanding now and will not have "great prospects" in the future. In fact, there is more than one starting line in life, and life has different starting points at any time.

The survey found that only 30% people want their children to develop normally, and most parents want their children to be "outstanding", preferably child prodigies. In fact, the proportion of children with abnormal intelligence is very small, and more than 90% are normal children. If parents insist on setting an extraordinary standard for normal children, the result can only be equal to pulling out the seedlings to encourage them. The goal orientation is too high, children can't do it, and it is easy to give up. If we can set a short-term goal direction for children according to their psychological endurance before doing things, we will no longer feel bored with the goal, and we can confidently do what we should do around the goal and fight for it. Every time a child achieves a small goal, he will affirm it in time, and the child will increase his self-confidence and self-improvement spirit.